My first podcast guest spot!
On iTunes.
Direct link to mp3. (right click to save)
It's dark, it's stormy, it's dark.
Showing posts with label Bookend Tiger Radio. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bookend Tiger Radio. Show all posts
9.20.2012
This Radio...It's Bookend Tiger
Confession: I have no clue what the title of the Bookend Tiger Radio podcast means.
Is it an anagram?*
Is it a radio made of bookends that look like tigers?
Is it merely an arrangement of words that sound pleasing together, like "cellar door"**?
I...do...not...know.
What I do know, is that, at around 1:30 this morning, my phone rang and I was then connected with one Mr. Dan "The Blade" Delgado and one Mr. Andy "Hot Snakes" Overton, the Mad Scientists behind Bookend Tiger Radio.
For the next hour and a half or so, we spoke.
We spoke of many things.
Many NSFW things.
Many completely fucking NSFW, are you out of your mind?? things.
The topics touched upon included: The Human Centipede 2 (I had nothing to do with it, even though I am more than familiar with the series, the 2:14 Downtown L.A. to Long Beach AIDS Bus, intentionally getting AIDS, intentionally getting AIDS from Magic Johnson, Mitt Romney in black face, the depth of my voice in correlation with the size of my penis, corporate handjobs and, oh does it really matter?
It's dark.
Dark dark dark.
And fun.
Fun and dark.
Or at least the three of us thought so.
It was a blast and an honor and I'd love to do it again if I haven't lost them too many listeners (although they're clocking in at about 2.5 billion downloads per episode).
Not sure when it'll be up, but, hey, I'll probably mention it once or twice in a couple places, you know?
Then, it was sleep, although not nearly enough, because, this evening I am meeting Jade and Allister for dinner downtown and therefore had to rise at 9:30 (remember, 9:30 am to me is like 3:30 am to you) in order to become ready for work.
I probably should have called in sleepy and just taken the day, but, well, I dumb.
And so, here I sit, sleepy and cranky; my normally expansive patience for and tolerance of morons is already dwindling, my iPad is at home, getting iOS 6-ed (can't wait to ask Siri my litany of stupid questions) and some third bad thing...oh yeah, the stupid, fat, loud mouthquake of a shitbox I hate is working three feet from me.
Yes, you, you blatting, nosy, swollen carbuncle.
You reek of regret and ignorance.
And yo' mama so fat that no one wants to look at or talk to you.
That one.
Hm.
It seems that, while typing this, I received a message from the good folks at TransPerfect. They'd like me to remotely supervise a recording tomorrow afternoon. Which means they put me on speakerphone while someone else records a voice over session and I correct them if they fuck something up, grammatically.
And then they pay me.
While I'd never give up voice acting for listening to someone voice act, I am flattered that they recognize me as good at talking English good and the concept of this is just twinkling.
I think I'm going to be naked for this phone call.
Mmmm...naked grammar....
Let's see those gerunds.
STOP!
* I found "Breeding Took" and "Rebooted King"...so, either they are fans of Tolkien or perhaps making a veiled political statement?
** Yes, I saw that in Donnie Darko and, no, I don't know what they were talking about.
Is it an anagram?*
Is it a radio made of bookends that look like tigers?
Is it merely an arrangement of words that sound pleasing together, like "cellar door"**?
I...do...not...know.
What I do know, is that, at around 1:30 this morning, my phone rang and I was then connected with one Mr. Dan "The Blade" Delgado and one Mr. Andy "Hot Snakes" Overton, the Mad Scientists behind Bookend Tiger Radio.
For the next hour and a half or so, we spoke.
We spoke of many things.
Many NSFW things.
Many completely fucking NSFW, are you out of your mind?? things.
The topics touched upon included: The Human Centipede 2 (I had nothing to do with it, even though I am more than familiar with the series, the 2:14 Downtown L.A. to Long Beach AIDS Bus, intentionally getting AIDS, intentionally getting AIDS from Magic Johnson, Mitt Romney in black face, the depth of my voice in correlation with the size of my penis, corporate handjobs and, oh does it really matter?
It's dark.
Dark dark dark.
And fun.
Fun and dark.
Or at least the three of us thought so.
It was a blast and an honor and I'd love to do it again if I haven't lost them too many listeners (although they're clocking in at about 2.5 billion downloads per episode).
Not sure when it'll be up, but, hey, I'll probably mention it once or twice in a couple places, you know?
Then, it was sleep, although not nearly enough, because, this evening I am meeting Jade and Allister for dinner downtown and therefore had to rise at 9:30 (remember, 9:30 am to me is like 3:30 am to you) in order to become ready for work.
I probably should have called in sleepy and just taken the day, but, well, I dumb.
And so, here I sit, sleepy and cranky; my normally expansive patience for and tolerance of morons is already dwindling, my iPad is at home, getting iOS 6-ed (can't wait to ask Siri my litany of stupid questions) and some third bad thing...oh yeah, the stupid, fat, loud mouthquake of a shitbox I hate is working three feet from me.
Yes, you, you blatting, nosy, swollen carbuncle.
You reek of regret and ignorance.
And yo' mama so fat that no one wants to look at or talk to you.
That one.
Hm.
It seems that, while typing this, I received a message from the good folks at TransPerfect. They'd like me to remotely supervise a recording tomorrow afternoon. Which means they put me on speakerphone while someone else records a voice over session and I correct them if they fuck something up, grammatically.
And then they pay me.
While I'd never give up voice acting for listening to someone voice act, I am flattered that they recognize me as good at talking English good and the concept of this is just twinkling.
I think I'm going to be naked for this phone call.
Mmmm...naked grammar....
Let's see those gerunds.
STOP!
* I found "Breeding Took" and "Rebooted King"...so, either they are fans of Tolkien or perhaps making a veiled political statement?
** Yes, I saw that in Donnie Darko and, no, I don't know what they were talking about.
9.17.2012
Aeon Reflux
This title is so fucking clever and apt that...I...aw, FUCK, just you wait....
*breathe*
Let us begin...
Tried to go to bed early on Friday, failed.
Woke at 8:30 to shower and head to the most south and east corner of Manhattan for another day of shooting Unker & Physia with Jess and Phil and Kris and Chris and Andrea and Minna and Veronica and other people with names.
Despite a bunch of hitches, it went pretty well and we finished shooting an entire episode.
Anyone who happens to be Will Pomerantz will recognize my costume...much thanks for your gift of silk, Mr. Basa.
Tasty taste.
Then I got lost looking for a subway and accidentally wandered through some sort of Little Italy fair day or something. It was...brutish...
After some time I found myself next to the Noho Star and quickly boarded the 6.
Once I got home, I decided that I wanted to eat ribs and watch the rest of Aeon Flux (which I'd started the night before), which, if you are unfamiliar...just...don't, don't, okay?
Track down the episode called "Chronophasia" and, if you dig it, call me and, if not, just...just don't, okay? Just don't.
I can't really think of any voice actors utterly owning and defining their characters more than Denise Poirier as Aeon and John Lee as Trevor Goodchild, they really knock it out of the park.
It was especially challenging for them as these two characters had never spoken once (well, Aeon said "Plop." in the short "Leisure", but, since when does "plop" count? Stop thinking about it...) and yet already had such strong personalities thanks to Peter Chung's artistry.
And, speaking of Peter Chung (the creator of Aeon Flux), there was a little documentary about Aeon Flux in which he states that the idea for Aeon Flux, who and what she was, how she moved and all that, came from his frustration from working on Rugrats.
Yeah.
The guy who created Aeon Flux played a huge role on Rugrats.
He said he was getting tired of these clumsy characters that couldn't really do anything, and so he created this dominatrix assassin ninja badass...the complete opposite of a baby.
And then he decided that she would die at the end of every episode.
Way to fight the babies, Chung.
Anyway, ribs.
Thankfully, a new smokehouse just opened down the god damn street from me (John Brown's Smokehouse) and I was in luck.
I ordered $30 worth of ribs and put them all on, then in, my face, as is the proper fashion.
After finishing the ribs, the Aeon Flux series and all the Aeon Flux shorts (I'd forgotten how awesome, beautiful and hilariously over-the-top these things were when it came to the violence and sexual content, the completely random sexual content), I remembered that, on the Aeon Flux DVD, there was a little collection of bits from Liquid Television.
Liquid Television was...it was one of the reasons people used to love MTV; it was the stuff they did that wasn't music videos that actually worked on a channel called "Music Television".
Liquid TV and The State and The Maxx and The Head, all these things were so...fresh...and NEW, it's just crushing to see what's become of this once great experiment in culture.
I miss it so.
Anyway, after experiencing all that good, I decided to watch the Aeon Flux movie...which I remembered as being bad, but, hey, I AM AN IDIOT.
Some notes:
No, you know what?
One note: this was a movie about something else entirely, and MTV just used the names and locations from Aeon Flux.
Boom.
They also mispronounced Bregna (BREN-ya) as BREG-na, the awful fucks.
And they fucked up the character's backgrounds, motivations and fucking everything else.
Like I said: they must have had some shitty sci-fi script ready to go, then decided to cash in on all the good faith and credibility that Japhet Asher and Peter Chung had garnered from this amazing, singular creation and waste it on this piece of shit.
After about a half hour, I gave in to how exhausted I was and went to bed at 3-ish.
After four magic hours of sleep, I awoke to find the $30 worth of ribs trying to flee my body by any means necessary.
I'll be honest...I spent a tense twenty minutes or so wandering, naked, around my empty apartment (Chris had gone to New Paltz for the weekend, leaving me alone to DIE), murmuring to my stomach, slowly petting it downward in order to encourage peristalsis and discourage reverse peristalsis and convince the food to go in the direction that Jesus the Christ intended and not the other way, and, after setting my pillows at a 90 degree angle, I slept on, not dying.
Honestly, I'm not sure if it was the ribs that did this or something else, but, believe you me, I'm only going to try their food like four more times.
I'M A BLOCK AWAY FROM A POTENTIAL PULLED PORK SANDWICH PIPELINE, YOU'RE FUCKING-A I'M GOING TO TRY THEM AGAIN.
I woke later that day and...hm...forgot what I did the rest of the day it seems...maybe played Samurai Shodown in the original Japanese...?...then Chris came home and we watched The Cabin In The Woods, which, somehow, I had not had spoiled for me.
And, you guys?
Holy shit.
I'm just going to leave it at that because there's nothing I can say about this movie that will make it any better.
Just go and watch it.
Watch and love it.
It really is like nothing you've seen before.
After all this madness was done, I finished the first season of Homeland and saw some of the best acting Claire Danes has ever done.
Her manic episodes are so beautifully and tragically acted...aw man.
Do Emmys still matter?
If they do, give one to her.
Then, there was sleep.
But not, it seems, enough.
Then, before work today, I made a little thank you for the Sex Geniuses that run Bookend Tiger Radio, as they are having ME as their guest on this week's episode!!!
I am ecstatic and nervous, not at the quality of my performance, I always deliver the goods, it's what I do, but more because I'm going to try recording the whole thing on ProTools from my end so Andy can just drop in my side of the conversation sourced from my sexy mouth talking stick.
Ladies and gentlemen, prepare for Buttered Sex Honey.*
I'm confident that my appearance on this podcast will result in my instant and meteoric rise to stardom, nationally, internationally and, thanks to the satellite technology utilized by Dan and Andy, galactically.
So, be ready.
This sudden rush to film the majority of Unker & Physia has left me feeling a bit...frayed, but, whatever happens, it's done by November first, so it's my job as a professional actor to do what I can to make it the best goddamn web series you won't watch because, while it's so easy to click "like" on Facebook, how many of you have actually bought my fucking audio book?
Don't apologize to me, apologize to Phil!
I only read it, he created it!
Fuck.
Anyway, you can purchase Philip Tucker's The Grind Show audio book on Amazon right now!!!
It's eight hours of your superimportantbusy time spent listening to a silken-voiced god-king (me) telling you about love, loss and demons.
Also, the Speakaboos story, the Tortoise and the Hare has been uploaded! I'm the Fox (doing a passable Paul Lynde) and the Bear (just kind of sweet and dumb)!
Go to www.speakaboos.com, where you will be greeted by a friendly dragon (voiced by me) and then click on the story, then "Read It Myself".
Click on the Fox and Bear and BOOM, I'm in your ears!
I'm also Humpty Dumpty (the egg, not the leader of Digital Underground), the narrator of The Boy Who Cried Wolf and either Turkey Lurky or Cocky Locky in Chicken Little, I honestly cannot remember which.
There will be a lot more soon...
Hm...all right, it's 10:16. Now I'm going to sit and ponder nothingness in preparation for the coming void.
Nam myoho renge kyo.
Hai!
*BWOOOOONG*
* This is in reference to the quality of my voice and not the funk octet from the early 1970's. Again, the funk octet from the early 1970's, Buttered Sex Honey will NOT be performing on this week's Bookend Tiger Radio podcast.
*breathe*
Let us begin...
Tried to go to bed early on Friday, failed.
Woke at 8:30 to shower and head to the most south and east corner of Manhattan for another day of shooting Unker & Physia with Jess and Phil and Kris and Chris and Andrea and Minna and Veronica and other people with names.
Despite a bunch of hitches, it went pretty well and we finished shooting an entire episode.
Anyone who happens to be Will Pomerantz will recognize my costume...much thanks for your gift of silk, Mr. Basa.
Tasty taste.
Then I got lost looking for a subway and accidentally wandered through some sort of Little Italy fair day or something. It was...brutish...
After some time I found myself next to the Noho Star and quickly boarded the 6.
Once I got home, I decided that I wanted to eat ribs and watch the rest of Aeon Flux (which I'd started the night before), which, if you are unfamiliar...just...don't, don't, okay?
Track down the episode called "Chronophasia" and, if you dig it, call me and, if not, just...just don't, okay? Just don't.
I can't really think of any voice actors utterly owning and defining their characters more than Denise Poirier as Aeon and John Lee as Trevor Goodchild, they really knock it out of the park.
It was especially challenging for them as these two characters had never spoken once (well, Aeon said "Plop." in the short "Leisure", but, since when does "plop" count? Stop thinking about it...) and yet already had such strong personalities thanks to Peter Chung's artistry.
And, speaking of Peter Chung (the creator of Aeon Flux), there was a little documentary about Aeon Flux in which he states that the idea for Aeon Flux, who and what she was, how she moved and all that, came from his frustration from working on Rugrats.
Yeah.
The guy who created Aeon Flux played a huge role on Rugrats.
He said he was getting tired of these clumsy characters that couldn't really do anything, and so he created this dominatrix assassin ninja badass...the complete opposite of a baby.
And then he decided that she would die at the end of every episode.
Way to fight the babies, Chung.
Anyway, ribs.
Thankfully, a new smokehouse just opened down the god damn street from me (John Brown's Smokehouse) and I was in luck.
I ordered $30 worth of ribs and put them all on, then in, my face, as is the proper fashion.
After finishing the ribs, the Aeon Flux series and all the Aeon Flux shorts (I'd forgotten how awesome, beautiful and hilariously over-the-top these things were when it came to the violence and sexual content, the completely random sexual content), I remembered that, on the Aeon Flux DVD, there was a little collection of bits from Liquid Television.
Liquid Television was...it was one of the reasons people used to love MTV; it was the stuff they did that wasn't music videos that actually worked on a channel called "Music Television".
Liquid TV and The State and The Maxx and The Head, all these things were so...fresh...and NEW, it's just crushing to see what's become of this once great experiment in culture.
I miss it so.
Anyway, after experiencing all that good, I decided to watch the Aeon Flux movie...which I remembered as being bad, but, hey, I AM AN IDIOT.
Some notes:
No, you know what?
One note: this was a movie about something else entirely, and MTV just used the names and locations from Aeon Flux.
Boom.
They also mispronounced Bregna (BREN-ya) as BREG-na, the awful fucks.
And they fucked up the character's backgrounds, motivations and fucking everything else.
Like I said: they must have had some shitty sci-fi script ready to go, then decided to cash in on all the good faith and credibility that Japhet Asher and Peter Chung had garnered from this amazing, singular creation and waste it on this piece of shit.
After about a half hour, I gave in to how exhausted I was and went to bed at 3-ish.
After four magic hours of sleep, I awoke to find the $30 worth of ribs trying to flee my body by any means necessary.
I'll be honest...I spent a tense twenty minutes or so wandering, naked, around my empty apartment (Chris had gone to New Paltz for the weekend, leaving me alone to DIE), murmuring to my stomach, slowly petting it downward in order to encourage peristalsis and discourage reverse peristalsis and convince the food to go in the direction that Jesus the Christ intended and not the other way, and, after setting my pillows at a 90 degree angle, I slept on, not dying.
Honestly, I'm not sure if it was the ribs that did this or something else, but, believe you me, I'm only going to try their food like four more times.
I'M A BLOCK AWAY FROM A POTENTIAL PULLED PORK SANDWICH PIPELINE, YOU'RE FUCKING-A I'M GOING TO TRY THEM AGAIN.
I woke later that day and...hm...forgot what I did the rest of the day it seems...maybe played Samurai Shodown in the original Japanese...?...then Chris came home and we watched The Cabin In The Woods, which, somehow, I had not had spoiled for me.
And, you guys?
Holy shit.
I'm just going to leave it at that because there's nothing I can say about this movie that will make it any better.
Just go and watch it.
Watch and love it.
It really is like nothing you've seen before.
After all this madness was done, I finished the first season of Homeland and saw some of the best acting Claire Danes has ever done.
Her manic episodes are so beautifully and tragically acted...aw man.
Do Emmys still matter?
If they do, give one to her.
Then, there was sleep.
But not, it seems, enough.
Then, before work today, I made a little thank you for the Sex Geniuses that run Bookend Tiger Radio, as they are having ME as their guest on this week's episode!!!
I am ecstatic and nervous, not at the quality of my performance, I always deliver the goods, it's what I do, but more because I'm going to try recording the whole thing on ProTools from my end so Andy can just drop in my side of the conversation sourced from my sexy mouth talking stick.
Ladies and gentlemen, prepare for Buttered Sex Honey.*
I'm confident that my appearance on this podcast will result in my instant and meteoric rise to stardom, nationally, internationally and, thanks to the satellite technology utilized by Dan and Andy, galactically.
So, be ready.
This sudden rush to film the majority of Unker & Physia has left me feeling a bit...frayed, but, whatever happens, it's done by November first, so it's my job as a professional actor to do what I can to make it the best goddamn web series you won't watch because, while it's so easy to click "like" on Facebook, how many of you have actually bought my fucking audio book?
Don't apologize to me, apologize to Phil!
I only read it, he created it!
Fuck.
Anyway, you can purchase Philip Tucker's The Grind Show audio book on Amazon right now!!!
It's eight hours of your superimportantbusy time spent listening to a silken-voiced god-king (me) telling you about love, loss and demons.
Also, the Speakaboos story, the Tortoise and the Hare has been uploaded! I'm the Fox (doing a passable Paul Lynde) and the Bear (just kind of sweet and dumb)!
Go to www.speakaboos.com, where you will be greeted by a friendly dragon (voiced by me) and then click on the story, then "Read It Myself".
Click on the Fox and Bear and BOOM, I'm in your ears!
I'm also Humpty Dumpty (the egg, not the leader of Digital Underground), the narrator of The Boy Who Cried Wolf and either Turkey Lurky or Cocky Locky in Chicken Little, I honestly cannot remember which.
There will be a lot more soon...
Hm...all right, it's 10:16. Now I'm going to sit and ponder nothingness in preparation for the coming void.
Nam myoho renge kyo.
Hai!
*BWOOOOONG*
* This is in reference to the quality of my voice and not the funk octet from the early 1970's. Again, the funk octet from the early 1970's, Buttered Sex Honey will NOT be performing on this week's Bookend Tiger Radio podcast.
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