So.
Some weeks ago, I was told I had an audition. The day before the audition, I received an e-mail stating the client had cancelled the audition. The morning of the audition, I was told it was back on and was asked if I could get there within the hour. Since I was already in the neighborhood and since I really like the production place and the people at the production place where it was being held (Hobo audio), I went. I thought it went well, the folks at Hobo thought it went well, I left feeling pretty okay and then thought nothing of it.
A few days later, I was put on hold for the recording, which was to take place two days later. Two days later, I was put on hold for the following two days. And two days after that, I was put on hold for two days the next week. And then, at the start of that next week, I was informed that the project was not going to happen.
Three weeks later, I was informed that I had booked said gig for yesterday, Wednesday, and then, minutes later, that the booking had been moved from Wednesday to today, from 10 am to 2 pm.
During all this, I had not asked what the rate was, mainly because if I didn't book it and it was a lot of money, I'd be bummed.
Or course, on the other side of that, there was a chance I would book it, and it would be paltry.
After my manager confirms and reconfirms with me that we are, in fact, 1000%, recording today, I ask what the rate is.
Paltry.
For me.
After bitching at Chris about not being given enough money to talk*, she suggests I call my manager and see if I can get more money.
Hm.
That is what managers do in the movies...
So I call him and say, look, they have me booked from 10 am to 2 pm and, when you break down the fee to an hourly rate, it's almost insulting AND they've been jerking us off for about three weeks, changing the hold, cancelling the project, rescheduling the hold etc.
He says that he agrees with me and that he'll see what he can do.
This morning, I wake at 9:20 and get ready to head out to Hobo. I check my e-mail and find that my manager has gotten the clients to almost double my fee.
Hot.
I arrive at Hobo and jump in the booth. The engineer does some magic, and suddenly I can hear three or four random voices speaking Italian in my headphones like a river full of sunlight.
Italian is such a beautiful language...
They tell me this version of the script, the English version, is all about trying to describe what it's like to be an Italian (the good parts). They play the Italian spot and it's fabulous, this guy sounds amazing, so passionate, so sexy, yow.
I tell them that English will never be able to express what that guy had just said as beautifully as him, but that I would do my best.
Eventually, we record; I turn on the hot buttered sex voice that they NEED to get their Vespas going and, after six takes, we're done.
One of them said, "motto bene" and I nearly squeaked.
They said, "Grazie!", I said "Grazie!"
They said, "Ciao!", I said, "Ciao!"
It was...motto bene.
Then, as I was scheduled to come back to Hobo at 1:40 for an audition, I asked if I could do it now, if it wasn't a problem (it was not yet 11 am).
It wasn't a problem and I was led into a different studio where the head of Hobo and all-around awesome guy, Howard, gave me the breakdown and ran the session.
Afterwards we talked a bit, specifically about if he knew the hobo-centric works of John "Pizza Miser" Hodgman. He said yes and that he had, in fact, contacted Hodgman about maybe doing a promo or something for Hobo audio, and that Hodgman never got back to him. I told him about my pizza dilemma and he suggested I make a YouTube video a la "United Breaks Guitars" and get that goddamned pizza.
And I just may.
Anyway, all this to say that today, while long, was pretty great and that San Pellegrino and I are cool once again.
It's alllll bene.
Tomorrow is yet another early and long day, during which I will be shooting the final episode of the first "season" of Unker & Physia. Thank Jebus we're shooting just down the street from my house...I might have time to shower before work...
This has been quite a roller coaster ride, but, last night's screening went very well, a full house full of people happy to be there and happy to see Jess and I being wonderful.
Afterwards, we went to a nearby drinking place where I had a subpar burger and some amazing conversation with Dave Ratura, Rachel Goulet, Gia (and her uncircumcised friend, Alex) and Fitzy. Dave and I need to create something...something...horrible...
He promised me that he'll watch Human Centipede 2 and then call me.
Big, huge, mad props to Chris who had to sit between Dave and I as we talked about the more gruesome details of Human Centipede 1. I can only be thankful that had yet to see the second film.
It was a really fantastic night and I'm so happy people were able to make it out and share in this thing we've been creating over the past months.
There is a lot more to come, so keep your eyes and ears open.
* I know, I know, "Go fuck yourself."
Showing posts with label Unker and Physia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Unker and Physia. Show all posts
10.19.2012
Let's Get Sloughy!
Slough.
Fistula.
Rectourethral.
These were this weeks' buzz words here at the Hospital with Jen. I believe all three can be made sexy if spoken huskily enough, a task I am more than happy to accept.
...fiiistulaaa...
I believe that "slough" is the most disgusting onomatopoetic word there is, although I'd be happy to discuss this.
No?
All right then.
I've had THREE acts of Subway fuckery in THREE days and I'm ready to fill the tunnels with the screams of the children of those that run the MTA. And each time they broke it off in me, I was in a car full of their self-aggrandizing, "cute" ads for how great they are and how smoothly things run because of them.
Oh such rage...such impotent, impotent rage...
How is it that I have NEVER, ONCE had a Subway meltdown?
More often than not, I'm pressed against some unwashed fucktard, covered in sweat and told by some chipper robot that "You're going to be fifteen minutes late just because! Eat a dick and then pay us $100 a month for the privilege and the pleasure, cuntface!"
Hm.
Maybe, all this rage I've been swallowing my whole life is what has made me so tall.
I'm made of rage.
Awesome.
Moving on, the last three days (technically two days, but it was going to be three days) have been thick.
Wednesday at 9:15 in the morning (which can be converted to 3:15 in the morning for everyone with a 9 am to 5 pm job) I had to rise and be acting until I then went to work. Which was awful. Then, that evening, I carried out my second digressive_obscenity recording with Will, which went excellent after a ten or fifteen minutes false start due to shitty audio, but, aside from having a great session, I have now figured out how to patch in anyone with an iPhone, thus solving the problem of interviewing anyone who isn't in the room with me. Once November rolls around and my schedule clears a bit, I'll focus on DO and really get things swinging. I spent the past few days working on some transitional music and also on creating some art for the podcast, mostly with some glitch art apps. Some really cool looking stuff coming soon.
The next morning I was up early for an audition that well very well...no...an audition at which I, personally, sounded really good. Yeah. So, we'll see.
Then, I was to be up hella early this morning to shoot the FINAL episode of Unker & Physia after rerecording some stuff for TransPerfect on my home rig as well as some silly audition of Target, but, thanks to rain, I slept about ten hours.
Which I needed.
It's hard to be good at acting with such little sleep...
And now the only day we have left to shoot that final episode is the day that I might be booked to record something, so...fuck.
All right, enough of that.
Yesterday, the new tweaker album, call the time eternity, was posted on Revolver's web site and last night I listened to it.
And now I'm really sad.
I'm going to spend more time with it, maybe try a headphones/versus speakers comparison but...yeah, as of right now, I'm really sad.
God damn it.
This weekend will be spent killing the shit out of some more zombies (but only for a fraction of the time spent killing the shit out of zombies a few weeks ago), and finishing the decorations for the Halloween party. I think, for ONCE, Chris and I will have this thing ready before the actual party begins next Saturday.
Then, on the 30th, I shoot my stuff for the pilot of Becca's webseries, then two days of rehearsal for Electromagnetic Theater (radio show/podcast thing) then two days of recording that weekend.
Then, I am fucking done.
Nothing to deal with except for my wedding.
Oh.
Oh shit.
Just kidding, it's going to be awesome and Save the Dates just went out so that's all good.
Again, cannot wait for my schedule to clear up.
Go.
Be free.
Fistula.
Rectourethral.
These were this weeks' buzz words here at the Hospital with Jen. I believe all three can be made sexy if spoken huskily enough, a task I am more than happy to accept.
...fiiistulaaa...
I believe that "slough" is the most disgusting onomatopoetic word there is, although I'd be happy to discuss this.
No?
All right then.
I've had THREE acts of Subway fuckery in THREE days and I'm ready to fill the tunnels with the screams of the children of those that run the MTA. And each time they broke it off in me, I was in a car full of their self-aggrandizing, "cute" ads for how great they are and how smoothly things run because of them.
Oh such rage...such impotent, impotent rage...
How is it that I have NEVER, ONCE had a Subway meltdown?
More often than not, I'm pressed against some unwashed fucktard, covered in sweat and told by some chipper robot that "You're going to be fifteen minutes late just because! Eat a dick and then pay us $100 a month for the privilege and the pleasure, cuntface!"
Hm.
Maybe, all this rage I've been swallowing my whole life is what has made me so tall.
I'm made of rage.
Awesome.
Moving on, the last three days (technically two days, but it was going to be three days) have been thick.
Wednesday at 9:15 in the morning (which can be converted to 3:15 in the morning for everyone with a 9 am to 5 pm job) I had to rise and be acting until I then went to work. Which was awful. Then, that evening, I carried out my second digressive_obscenity recording with Will, which went excellent after a ten or fifteen minutes false start due to shitty audio, but, aside from having a great session, I have now figured out how to patch in anyone with an iPhone, thus solving the problem of interviewing anyone who isn't in the room with me. Once November rolls around and my schedule clears a bit, I'll focus on DO and really get things swinging. I spent the past few days working on some transitional music and also on creating some art for the podcast, mostly with some glitch art apps. Some really cool looking stuff coming soon.
The next morning I was up early for an audition that well very well...no...an audition at which I, personally, sounded really good. Yeah. So, we'll see.
Then, I was to be up hella early this morning to shoot the FINAL episode of Unker & Physia after rerecording some stuff for TransPerfect on my home rig as well as some silly audition of Target, but, thanks to rain, I slept about ten hours.
Which I needed.
It's hard to be good at acting with such little sleep...
And now the only day we have left to shoot that final episode is the day that I might be booked to record something, so...fuck.
All right, enough of that.
Yesterday, the new tweaker album, call the time eternity, was posted on Revolver's web site and last night I listened to it.
And now I'm really sad.
I'm going to spend more time with it, maybe try a headphones/versus speakers comparison but...yeah, as of right now, I'm really sad.
God damn it.
This weekend will be spent killing the shit out of some more zombies (but only for a fraction of the time spent killing the shit out of zombies a few weeks ago), and finishing the decorations for the Halloween party. I think, for ONCE, Chris and I will have this thing ready before the actual party begins next Saturday.
Then, on the 30th, I shoot my stuff for the pilot of Becca's webseries, then two days of rehearsal for Electromagnetic Theater (radio show/podcast thing) then two days of recording that weekend.
Then, I am fucking done.
Nothing to deal with except for my wedding.
Oh.
Oh shit.
Just kidding, it's going to be awesome and Save the Dates just went out so that's all good.
Again, cannot wait for my schedule to clear up.
Go.
Be free.
10.17.2012
Some Movies I've Watched Recently
This post is about rough, throbbing, wet sex.
Just kidding, it's about some movies I've watched recently.
First, I finally watched Super 8, and, aside from admiring the solid child actors, I really didn't give much of a shit about it. Who knew that Spielberg and Abrams would make such a bland pudding?
Next, Chris and I watched Cronenberg's Videodrome, which I had never seen.
Wow.
Wowy wowy wow.
Cronenberg.
W the fuck.
This man can get your attention and hold it, I will say that. He can also provide a juicy bag of nightmares for anyone who watches his films. I was saddened to hear that his latest film was a wash. I'm probably going to take another look at Existenz as I remember it was pretty awesome. And maybe Crash. The good one. With the leg-wound coitus.
Also, how did the FCC not have a problem with Dave Matthews saying repeatedly in the 90's that he wanted to "come into" that woman? I mean...that's pretty racy. They censored the word "gun" in music from the 90's, but you're allowed to come into people?
What up, double standard?
And speaking of Dave Matthews, have you noticed that his songs are all about fucking or drugs or murder? I saw him in concert with Will on his tour supporting "Before These Crowded Streets" and neither of us knew what the big deal with having his violinist sing was. We didn't pay for that. Play your fucking violin.
Put in a lot of work on Unker & Physia this morning before work. Re shot some stuff that got messed and then did a bunch of bumpers and little things that turned out pretty great. The final U&P shoot for a while is set for Friday morning...if we can find that special lady...the lady that Unker is going to fall in love with...
After the shoot this morning, work. I'm going to have to face the shattering fact that, not only is Jen going to be gone from this place in a matter of weeks, but that she is never going to work here because of some really horrible people she has come into contact with. One really horrible person anyway.
And it isn't me.
Asshole.
Once I get home (in about an hour or so), the second digressive_obscenity podcast shall be recorded.
This time it is one of my best friends, Will (the guy I saw the DMB with).
I'm going to do my best to have this be something that he is proud to have his full name on.
Well...not proud.
But at least he won't plead for anonymity, as with BTR.
Oh, shit, BTR...
I forgot to mention that Andy Omega (one half of the Bookend Tiger Radio Dynamic Duo) has up and fucking moved from the L.A. to the N.Y.C.! So, this means two things: one, there will be a delay in the posting of my return to BTR and, two, the next bunch of BTR will be recorded at my very own DO studios...maybe. Fingers crossed.
Mofo visits New York for a week then pulls up stakes and freaking moves here.
I love his balls.
No homo.
Done.
Just kidding, it's about some movies I've watched recently.
First, I finally watched Super 8, and, aside from admiring the solid child actors, I really didn't give much of a shit about it. Who knew that Spielberg and Abrams would make such a bland pudding?
Next, Chris and I watched Cronenberg's Videodrome, which I had never seen.
Wow.
Wowy wowy wow.
Cronenberg.
W the fuck.
This man can get your attention and hold it, I will say that. He can also provide a juicy bag of nightmares for anyone who watches his films. I was saddened to hear that his latest film was a wash. I'm probably going to take another look at Existenz as I remember it was pretty awesome. And maybe Crash. The good one. With the leg-wound coitus.
Also, how did the FCC not have a problem with Dave Matthews saying repeatedly in the 90's that he wanted to "come into" that woman? I mean...that's pretty racy. They censored the word "gun" in music from the 90's, but you're allowed to come into people?
What up, double standard?
And speaking of Dave Matthews, have you noticed that his songs are all about fucking or drugs or murder? I saw him in concert with Will on his tour supporting "Before These Crowded Streets" and neither of us knew what the big deal with having his violinist sing was. We didn't pay for that. Play your fucking violin.
Put in a lot of work on Unker & Physia this morning before work. Re shot some stuff that got messed and then did a bunch of bumpers and little things that turned out pretty great. The final U&P shoot for a while is set for Friday morning...if we can find that special lady...the lady that Unker is going to fall in love with...
After the shoot this morning, work. I'm going to have to face the shattering fact that, not only is Jen going to be gone from this place in a matter of weeks, but that she is never going to work here because of some really horrible people she has come into contact with. One really horrible person anyway.
And it isn't me.
Asshole.
Once I get home (in about an hour or so), the second digressive_obscenity podcast shall be recorded.
This time it is one of my best friends, Will (the guy I saw the DMB with).
I'm going to do my best to have this be something that he is proud to have his full name on.
Well...not proud.
But at least he won't plead for anonymity, as with BTR.
Oh, shit, BTR...
I forgot to mention that Andy Omega (one half of the Bookend Tiger Radio Dynamic Duo) has up and fucking moved from the L.A. to the N.Y.C.! So, this means two things: one, there will be a delay in the posting of my return to BTR and, two, the next bunch of BTR will be recorded at my very own DO studios...maybe. Fingers crossed.
Mofo visits New York for a week then pulls up stakes and freaking moves here.
I love his balls.
No homo.
Done.
9.17.2012
Aeon Reflux
This title is so fucking clever and apt that...I...aw, FUCK, just you wait....
*breathe*
Let us begin...
Tried to go to bed early on Friday, failed.
Woke at 8:30 to shower and head to the most south and east corner of Manhattan for another day of shooting Unker & Physia with Jess and Phil and Kris and Chris and Andrea and Minna and Veronica and other people with names.
Despite a bunch of hitches, it went pretty well and we finished shooting an entire episode.
Anyone who happens to be Will Pomerantz will recognize my costume...much thanks for your gift of silk, Mr. Basa.
Tasty taste.
Then I got lost looking for a subway and accidentally wandered through some sort of Little Italy fair day or something. It was...brutish...
After some time I found myself next to the Noho Star and quickly boarded the 6.
Once I got home, I decided that I wanted to eat ribs and watch the rest of Aeon Flux (which I'd started the night before), which, if you are unfamiliar...just...don't, don't, okay?
Track down the episode called "Chronophasia" and, if you dig it, call me and, if not, just...just don't, okay? Just don't.
I can't really think of any voice actors utterly owning and defining their characters more than Denise Poirier as Aeon and John Lee as Trevor Goodchild, they really knock it out of the park.
It was especially challenging for them as these two characters had never spoken once (well, Aeon said "Plop." in the short "Leisure", but, since when does "plop" count? Stop thinking about it...) and yet already had such strong personalities thanks to Peter Chung's artistry.
And, speaking of Peter Chung (the creator of Aeon Flux), there was a little documentary about Aeon Flux in which he states that the idea for Aeon Flux, who and what she was, how she moved and all that, came from his frustration from working on Rugrats.
Yeah.
The guy who created Aeon Flux played a huge role on Rugrats.
He said he was getting tired of these clumsy characters that couldn't really do anything, and so he created this dominatrix assassin ninja badass...the complete opposite of a baby.
And then he decided that she would die at the end of every episode.
Way to fight the babies, Chung.
Anyway, ribs.
Thankfully, a new smokehouse just opened down the god damn street from me (John Brown's Smokehouse) and I was in luck.
I ordered $30 worth of ribs and put them all on, then in, my face, as is the proper fashion.
After finishing the ribs, the Aeon Flux series and all the Aeon Flux shorts (I'd forgotten how awesome, beautiful and hilariously over-the-top these things were when it came to the violence and sexual content, the completely random sexual content), I remembered that, on the Aeon Flux DVD, there was a little collection of bits from Liquid Television.
Liquid Television was...it was one of the reasons people used to love MTV; it was the stuff they did that wasn't music videos that actually worked on a channel called "Music Television".
Liquid TV and The State and The Maxx and The Head, all these things were so...fresh...and NEW, it's just crushing to see what's become of this once great experiment in culture.
I miss it so.
Anyway, after experiencing all that good, I decided to watch the Aeon Flux movie...which I remembered as being bad, but, hey, I AM AN IDIOT.
Some notes:
No, you know what?
One note: this was a movie about something else entirely, and MTV just used the names and locations from Aeon Flux.
Boom.
They also mispronounced Bregna (BREN-ya) as BREG-na, the awful fucks.
And they fucked up the character's backgrounds, motivations and fucking everything else.
Like I said: they must have had some shitty sci-fi script ready to go, then decided to cash in on all the good faith and credibility that Japhet Asher and Peter Chung had garnered from this amazing, singular creation and waste it on this piece of shit.
After about a half hour, I gave in to how exhausted I was and went to bed at 3-ish.
After four magic hours of sleep, I awoke to find the $30 worth of ribs trying to flee my body by any means necessary.
I'll be honest...I spent a tense twenty minutes or so wandering, naked, around my empty apartment (Chris had gone to New Paltz for the weekend, leaving me alone to DIE), murmuring to my stomach, slowly petting it downward in order to encourage peristalsis and discourage reverse peristalsis and convince the food to go in the direction that Jesus the Christ intended and not the other way, and, after setting my pillows at a 90 degree angle, I slept on, not dying.
Honestly, I'm not sure if it was the ribs that did this or something else, but, believe you me, I'm only going to try their food like four more times.
I'M A BLOCK AWAY FROM A POTENTIAL PULLED PORK SANDWICH PIPELINE, YOU'RE FUCKING-A I'M GOING TO TRY THEM AGAIN.
I woke later that day and...hm...forgot what I did the rest of the day it seems...maybe played Samurai Shodown in the original Japanese...?...then Chris came home and we watched The Cabin In The Woods, which, somehow, I had not had spoiled for me.
And, you guys?
Holy shit.
I'm just going to leave it at that because there's nothing I can say about this movie that will make it any better.
Just go and watch it.
Watch and love it.
It really is like nothing you've seen before.
After all this madness was done, I finished the first season of Homeland and saw some of the best acting Claire Danes has ever done.
Her manic episodes are so beautifully and tragically acted...aw man.
Do Emmys still matter?
If they do, give one to her.
Then, there was sleep.
But not, it seems, enough.
Then, before work today, I made a little thank you for the Sex Geniuses that run Bookend Tiger Radio, as they are having ME as their guest on this week's episode!!!
I am ecstatic and nervous, not at the quality of my performance, I always deliver the goods, it's what I do, but more because I'm going to try recording the whole thing on ProTools from my end so Andy can just drop in my side of the conversation sourced from my sexy mouth talking stick.
Ladies and gentlemen, prepare for Buttered Sex Honey.*
I'm confident that my appearance on this podcast will result in my instant and meteoric rise to stardom, nationally, internationally and, thanks to the satellite technology utilized by Dan and Andy, galactically.
So, be ready.
This sudden rush to film the majority of Unker & Physia has left me feeling a bit...frayed, but, whatever happens, it's done by November first, so it's my job as a professional actor to do what I can to make it the best goddamn web series you won't watch because, while it's so easy to click "like" on Facebook, how many of you have actually bought my fucking audio book?
Don't apologize to me, apologize to Phil!
I only read it, he created it!
Fuck.
Anyway, you can purchase Philip Tucker's The Grind Show audio book on Amazon right now!!!
It's eight hours of your superimportantbusy time spent listening to a silken-voiced god-king (me) telling you about love, loss and demons.
Also, the Speakaboos story, the Tortoise and the Hare has been uploaded! I'm the Fox (doing a passable Paul Lynde) and the Bear (just kind of sweet and dumb)!
Go to www.speakaboos.com, where you will be greeted by a friendly dragon (voiced by me) and then click on the story, then "Read It Myself".
Click on the Fox and Bear and BOOM, I'm in your ears!
I'm also Humpty Dumpty (the egg, not the leader of Digital Underground), the narrator of The Boy Who Cried Wolf and either Turkey Lurky or Cocky Locky in Chicken Little, I honestly cannot remember which.
There will be a lot more soon...
Hm...all right, it's 10:16. Now I'm going to sit and ponder nothingness in preparation for the coming void.
Nam myoho renge kyo.
Hai!
*BWOOOOONG*
* This is in reference to the quality of my voice and not the funk octet from the early 1970's. Again, the funk octet from the early 1970's, Buttered Sex Honey will NOT be performing on this week's Bookend Tiger Radio podcast.
*breathe*
Let us begin...
Tried to go to bed early on Friday, failed.
Woke at 8:30 to shower and head to the most south and east corner of Manhattan for another day of shooting Unker & Physia with Jess and Phil and Kris and Chris and Andrea and Minna and Veronica and other people with names.
Despite a bunch of hitches, it went pretty well and we finished shooting an entire episode.
Anyone who happens to be Will Pomerantz will recognize my costume...much thanks for your gift of silk, Mr. Basa.
Tasty taste.
Then I got lost looking for a subway and accidentally wandered through some sort of Little Italy fair day or something. It was...brutish...
After some time I found myself next to the Noho Star and quickly boarded the 6.
Once I got home, I decided that I wanted to eat ribs and watch the rest of Aeon Flux (which I'd started the night before), which, if you are unfamiliar...just...don't, don't, okay?
Track down the episode called "Chronophasia" and, if you dig it, call me and, if not, just...just don't, okay? Just don't.
I can't really think of any voice actors utterly owning and defining their characters more than Denise Poirier as Aeon and John Lee as Trevor Goodchild, they really knock it out of the park.
It was especially challenging for them as these two characters had never spoken once (well, Aeon said "Plop." in the short "Leisure", but, since when does "plop" count? Stop thinking about it...) and yet already had such strong personalities thanks to Peter Chung's artistry.
And, speaking of Peter Chung (the creator of Aeon Flux), there was a little documentary about Aeon Flux in which he states that the idea for Aeon Flux, who and what she was, how she moved and all that, came from his frustration from working on Rugrats.
Yeah.
The guy who created Aeon Flux played a huge role on Rugrats.
He said he was getting tired of these clumsy characters that couldn't really do anything, and so he created this dominatrix assassin ninja badass...the complete opposite of a baby.
And then he decided that she would die at the end of every episode.
Way to fight the babies, Chung.
Anyway, ribs.
Thankfully, a new smokehouse just opened down the god damn street from me (John Brown's Smokehouse) and I was in luck.
I ordered $30 worth of ribs and put them all on, then in, my face, as is the proper fashion.
After finishing the ribs, the Aeon Flux series and all the Aeon Flux shorts (I'd forgotten how awesome, beautiful and hilariously over-the-top these things were when it came to the violence and sexual content, the completely random sexual content), I remembered that, on the Aeon Flux DVD, there was a little collection of bits from Liquid Television.
Liquid Television was...it was one of the reasons people used to love MTV; it was the stuff they did that wasn't music videos that actually worked on a channel called "Music Television".
Liquid TV and The State and The Maxx and The Head, all these things were so...fresh...and NEW, it's just crushing to see what's become of this once great experiment in culture.
I miss it so.
Anyway, after experiencing all that good, I decided to watch the Aeon Flux movie...which I remembered as being bad, but, hey, I AM AN IDIOT.
Some notes:
No, you know what?
One note: this was a movie about something else entirely, and MTV just used the names and locations from Aeon Flux.
Boom.
They also mispronounced Bregna (BREN-ya) as BREG-na, the awful fucks.
And they fucked up the character's backgrounds, motivations and fucking everything else.
Like I said: they must have had some shitty sci-fi script ready to go, then decided to cash in on all the good faith and credibility that Japhet Asher and Peter Chung had garnered from this amazing, singular creation and waste it on this piece of shit.
After about a half hour, I gave in to how exhausted I was and went to bed at 3-ish.
After four magic hours of sleep, I awoke to find the $30 worth of ribs trying to flee my body by any means necessary.
I'll be honest...I spent a tense twenty minutes or so wandering, naked, around my empty apartment (Chris had gone to New Paltz for the weekend, leaving me alone to DIE), murmuring to my stomach, slowly petting it downward in order to encourage peristalsis and discourage reverse peristalsis and convince the food to go in the direction that Jesus the Christ intended and not the other way, and, after setting my pillows at a 90 degree angle, I slept on, not dying.
Honestly, I'm not sure if it was the ribs that did this or something else, but, believe you me, I'm only going to try their food like four more times.
I'M A BLOCK AWAY FROM A POTENTIAL PULLED PORK SANDWICH PIPELINE, YOU'RE FUCKING-A I'M GOING TO TRY THEM AGAIN.
I woke later that day and...hm...forgot what I did the rest of the day it seems...maybe played Samurai Shodown in the original Japanese...?...then Chris came home and we watched The Cabin In The Woods, which, somehow, I had not had spoiled for me.
And, you guys?
Holy shit.
I'm just going to leave it at that because there's nothing I can say about this movie that will make it any better.
Just go and watch it.
Watch and love it.
It really is like nothing you've seen before.
After all this madness was done, I finished the first season of Homeland and saw some of the best acting Claire Danes has ever done.
Her manic episodes are so beautifully and tragically acted...aw man.
Do Emmys still matter?
If they do, give one to her.
Then, there was sleep.
But not, it seems, enough.
Then, before work today, I made a little thank you for the Sex Geniuses that run Bookend Tiger Radio, as they are having ME as their guest on this week's episode!!!
I am ecstatic and nervous, not at the quality of my performance, I always deliver the goods, it's what I do, but more because I'm going to try recording the whole thing on ProTools from my end so Andy can just drop in my side of the conversation sourced from my sexy mouth talking stick.
Ladies and gentlemen, prepare for Buttered Sex Honey.*
I'm confident that my appearance on this podcast will result in my instant and meteoric rise to stardom, nationally, internationally and, thanks to the satellite technology utilized by Dan and Andy, galactically.
So, be ready.
This sudden rush to film the majority of Unker & Physia has left me feeling a bit...frayed, but, whatever happens, it's done by November first, so it's my job as a professional actor to do what I can to make it the best goddamn web series you won't watch because, while it's so easy to click "like" on Facebook, how many of you have actually bought my fucking audio book?
Don't apologize to me, apologize to Phil!
I only read it, he created it!
Fuck.
Anyway, you can purchase Philip Tucker's The Grind Show audio book on Amazon right now!!!
It's eight hours of your superimportantbusy time spent listening to a silken-voiced god-king (me) telling you about love, loss and demons.
Also, the Speakaboos story, the Tortoise and the Hare has been uploaded! I'm the Fox (doing a passable Paul Lynde) and the Bear (just kind of sweet and dumb)!
Go to www.speakaboos.com, where you will be greeted by a friendly dragon (voiced by me) and then click on the story, then "Read It Myself".
Click on the Fox and Bear and BOOM, I'm in your ears!
I'm also Humpty Dumpty (the egg, not the leader of Digital Underground), the narrator of The Boy Who Cried Wolf and either Turkey Lurky or Cocky Locky in Chicken Little, I honestly cannot remember which.
There will be a lot more soon...
Hm...all right, it's 10:16. Now I'm going to sit and ponder nothingness in preparation for the coming void.
Nam myoho renge kyo.
Hai!
*BWOOOOONG*
* This is in reference to the quality of my voice and not the funk octet from the early 1970's. Again, the funk octet from the early 1970's, Buttered Sex Honey will NOT be performing on this week's Bookend Tiger Radio podcast.
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