This Weekend In Sloth

7.25.11

5:03 pm

 

Thursday evening, Chris and I put in our air conditioner and then I dragged my mattress into the living room.

It has been there since.

My increased proximity to my entertainment center has resulted in the following: less motion.

BUT I did manage to record the 18th chapter of The Grind Show.

I think it may have been a massive fail as far as this project goes.

Hopefully it's all up hill from here.

Or uphill, whichever Spell Check deems fitting.

Along with that, I finished a remix I've had in the back of my head since...well, 1997.

Not for public consumption, this is just for me to enjoy and that makes it okay.

 

Other than these two "achievements" everything else was flan, baby.

I watched The Green Hornet (might be worse than The Shadow, but I'm not sure. No, wait, yes, I'm sure, because this was made IN THE PAST YEAR).

Watched Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (bottom line, these people are having fun and it's fun to watch people having fun...at least when one of them is Steve Guttenberg).

Saw Horrible Bosses with Jeannie and Chris (best 'R' rated comedy I've seen in a while, better than both Brides Maids and Bad Teacher).

I'm also still chewing my way through the final season of 24.

Beginning to get really concerned about where I'm going to get my mindless action fix once this show is gone from my life.

In a moment of panic, I took Netflix's advice and added the entirety of Prison Break, half out of desperation and half out of wonder at how in the fuck they're going to stretch a prison break over five fucking seasons.

Made the prison is a prison for prisons?

SPOILERS!!!

I am gloriously happy that Netflix has added the next two seasons of That Mitchell and Webb Look to their Instant Thing.

I watched most of the second series last night and had trouble not waking Christina with my laughter.

There is a little bit they do at the end of one of the episodes (as themselves) involving the creation of cheese which is incredibly funny.

 

As for paper TV, I am still reading A Clash of Kings and it really is a chapter by chapter thing now.

Once I've drilled through that, I plan to take a break with either John Hodgman's Areas of My Expertise, the third and final book in the Millennium trilogy, the Hunger Games series (recommended by Jeannie) or maybe the latest book in the Dresden Files, Ghost Story, which comes out tomorrow.

One thing is for sure: whenever I choose to read it, I'll be buying it tomorrow to avoid being book-raped for buying it next week, when the price triples.

And yes, I do know two people working for the publisher, both who could probably get me a copy for free, but I haven't spoken to them in maybe half a year or more and that would be a bit obvious, no?

I also have the latest Terry Pratchett...

Mm...reading options...

 

Should be wrapping up Saint's Row 2 soon and I'm fine with that.

Feeling a bit of open world burnout.

Might finish Portal 2's co-op if Will ever drags himself away from his dead end exploring-the-universe job and focuses up.

WE NEED TO FIND OUT WHAT GLADOS IS UP TO!!!!

 

Also did some research on iPads.

God damn those things are expensive.

Even the basic model.

Anyone know Bill Gates?

Or where he keeps his iPad?

...call me...

 

All right then.

You've had enough.

Done. So Done.

7.12.11

5:40 pm

 

I...am so done.

So much so done that I can so taste it.

It tastes like three days of vacation, pizza and Saint's Row 2.

 

Just this afternoon, I finished editing and posted my "Can't Keep Johnny Down" video.

God and John Hodgman willing, this will be the last thing I film with my shitty, obsolete camera.

In the end, it was a pain in the ass, as all things that involve massive amounts of editing are, but it was a fun pain in the ass.

Like a clown hamster.

You can see this clown-hamster-up-my-ass video here.

 

Over the weekend, I hosted the 1st Annual DBO/NYC Fountain Tour with one Dawn Brooke Owens and her sister, Naomi.

We wandered around Central Park, covering at least 85% of it (and of the 85% covered, about 75% was intentional and not based on me getting us lost).

It was a fun, exhausting day and I'm probably not going to do it again until some other person wants a goddamn fountain tour.

Or statue tour.

Or gargoyle tour.

Actually...that last one sounds pretty cool.

Anyone want to do a gargoyle tour?

We could look at gargoyles.

 

And now, a rough outline of the next five days: sleep, sweat, play Resident Evil 5, play Saint's Row 2, finish season seven of 24, watch The Green Hornet (I support Seth Rogan), watch Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (don't you fucking judge me), do dinner and Bad Teacher with Chris, Lauren, Brian and Jeannie and see the play Chris has, literally, shed blood over.

And I might see Horrible Bosses as I am a fan of about three quarters of the cast.

Other than that?

Nothing.

Well, I might record/edit some more Grind Show.

Almost halfway.

God damn if only it were 18 degrees cooler...

Have I ever mentioned how much I loathe this weather?

No?

Well, maybe later.

 

Picked A Clash of Kings back up, despite my own screaming protestations.

I think I figured it out...I don't like it when nothing happens.

Superficially in situations where two people are talking and we see what one is thinking but then their thoughts, which would totally make things exciting and interesting if only they'd fucking say them, are followed by "but Ser Wigglebottom didn't say that".

It's like, well, obviously he didn't say that, that would have made these books more interesting and shaved off a hundred pages and ten months from this fucking thing and we wouldn't want that, would we, GRRM?

I also believe that the series could have been four books and done by now if Martin didn't love the sound of his own fingers on his keyboard and making up funny names and family trees that go back eight thousand fucking years.

This guy is so verbose, he has two middle names, of course his books are going to reflect that.

Anyway.

 

I have downloaded and listened to the new They Might Be Giants' album.

A review should be up around Monday as I'm not doing anything that even slightly resembles work during my time away from this Ass Box.

I'll put everyone's* fears to rest and say now that it isn't the horrible car crash I thought it would be.

It has a lot of great stuff on there, including a few instant classics.

Not as immediately enjoyable as The Else, but the Dust Brothers aren't on this one.

Speaking of TMBG, originally their free show on the Williamsburg waterfront on the 29th was them and Eugene Mirmen.

Then I found out that Jonathan Coulton was opening.

Then I found out that Kristen Schaal and Patton fucking Oswalt will be performing as well.

For free.

What...did I do to deserve this?

Is it the fountain tour I put together for Brooke?

It is all the hours I spent cleaning oil from angry, sad sea creatures in the Gulf of Mexico??

Is it all the infected Africans I killed in Resident Evil 5?

Let's go with that last one.

Yes.

 

Okay, I hear what you're saying, it is indeed time for pizza.

Thanks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* Who?

Ha.

5.12.11

8:56 pm

 

Last night I beat the single player portion of Portal 2.

Without spoiling anything, it's a fantastic ending (paired with a fantastic pun) that surpasses that of the first.

And there is another, excellent JoCo song.

More excellent that Still Alive?

You decide.

 

I also had an hilarious revelation while finishing the game last night.

GLaDOS reminds me of Danielle.

Something about the coldness with just a hint of emotion...

 

And speaking of coldness, I have just embarked upon George Double R Martin's Fire and Ice books.

I'm only a chapter or two in, but it appears promising.

I like wolf babies.

I like Others.

Each of the four books thus far released is about 800 pages, making the total number about 3,200.

Toss in the last three (hopefully published before I die) and that's 6,000 pages, give or take.

THAT is what I'm talking about.

You know, I hear the trogs around me talking about these "great books" they're all reading and passing back and forth like herpes in a college dorm with titles like "Dirty Divorcee" and "Mistress" and "Still A Mistress" (not joking about that last one), and, after wiping the tears of laughter and sorrow from my eyes, I find myself reflecting: what would these people do with an actual good book. Not a good sci-fi or fantasy book, but a good, classic book. Like from a fifth grade reading list?

Would they be able to understand and enjoy it?

Would they think it too "smart"?

Would they set it down and clamor instead for the latest novelization of the new Medea movie?

Would they know what "novelization" means?

Am I being elitist?

Would they know what "elitist" means?

I could ponder on this all day...

...asshole.

 

Last night, TMBG put up their latest podcast which consisted of one song called "Fellowship of Hell".

Flans said it was recorded during the "Join Us" sessions, but will not be on the album.

Which is a goddamn shame because it's great.

With lyrics like "Rock had a baby/and called it 'AHHH!'" and "there is no loathing/like self-loathing", it exhibits that catchy, weird darkness I love and miss about them.

Still about two months out from "Join Us", but "Fellowship of Hell" gives me a spark of hope...unless, of course, they left all the good songs off the album to suffer the fate of b-side and podcast fodder...

Whatever.

The fact that they're making and releasing this good stuff is what matters.

 

This weekend, Sony-willing, I will try out the Portal 2 co-op with Will.

I will also NOT be jumping out of a god damn birthday cake.

Fascists.