And I took notes.
R.I.P.D.!!!!
About two minutes into R.I.P,D. and I'm screaming "Kevin Bacon did it!!!!" into my screen, let's see if 32 years of not being surprised by movies starring Kevin Bacon have taught me anything...
Didn't know this was a fun, Men In Black romp kind of thing, I thought it was some overly dramatic crime shit like Cradle 2 Tha Grave or that other one starring DMX and Steven Seagal's ponytail.
See? Advertising doesn't work on me.
Ryan Reynolds should be America's ambassador of smarm and jackassery.
He should also be Deadpool.
Has someone already described this as "Beetlejuice" meets "Men In Back"?
Their "camo" intro was pretty amazing. Well done.
"Eternal Affairs" - Jesus.
As in: "Oh, Jesus, that's a bad pun", I'm not implying that Jesus is the head of Eternal Affairs...although I guess that would make sense, wouldn't it?
Jumping right to the Apocalypse? Wow, where do you go from there?
There must be hundreds of old, Chinese men ready to swoop in when James Hong finally dies...in 2036.
This was damn fun.
Looking forward to the sequel?
(checking IMDB)
Never mind.
(checking wiki)
Wow. Had no idea this movie was being considered for this year's Worst Picture AND Worst Actor.
I didn't really see a difference between how Reynolds acted in this and in, you know, everything else. Can someone tell me when / if Reynolds has ever been considered good in anything?
IN TIME!!!!!
They explained the entire premise in less than a minute, now we have two whole hours to check out this world.
Well done.
Going in, I've heard the world is awesome but the movie is shit.
Let's see what the horse's mouth has to say.
How could any world allow a fine piece of ass like Justin Timberlake to die that young?!
Also, the fact that he's playing 25 even though he's 32 means he's taking MUCH better care of himself than I am.
Great device to have a lot of hot young things run around and act weird.
The flipside of "eternal affairs" from R.I.P.D. are the new meanings to the old, overused adages and idioms about time, i.e. "don't waste my time, clean your clock", good stuff.
I like the look of this as well, nicely shot.
I feel like a lot of this started with puns...
Puns and weed.
PETE CAMPBELL IS IN THIS!!!!!
Pete is the PERFECT 85 year old 25 year old. Well fucking done, faceless Hollywood casting agent.
Even in the future. Even in an alternate timeline. JT makes them panties DRAWP.
The chick, Sylvia, looks a bit like an alien if you stare at her too long, like a word that stops making sense when you say it too much.
The hand fighting was a bit weird, especially because JT turned into James Bond for a moment, killing three guys in two seconds. I thought he wasn't a criminal.
Also, almost forgot to mention: Scarecrow, what?
Yeah, world and its rules were interesting but I actually didn't think the movie itself was that bad.
At least Scarecrow didn't reveal he was JT's dad.
And, again, PETE CAMPBELL!!
Thanks for being a spectator to my wispy, late night driftings.
11.18.2013
Terrence Howard: Eat A Dick
What changes?
What changes in a person that suddenly makes one million dollars not seem like a lot of money?
Remember when you and your friends would sit around and say stupid shit like, "How much money would it take for you to eat poop?"
And you'd say something like, "Not for less than a million dollars!"
Let's be honest; we all know someone who would eat poop for far less that a million dollars.
But, and this whole fuckrant is contingent on whether or not the information contained within these articles is accurate, Terrence Howard wouldn't eat poop for a million dollars.
Nope.
You know what else he wouldn't do for a millions dollars?
Be a part of a franchise that has grossed over a billion dollars.
I understand how, relatively, one million is less than four and a half million.
I do.
It's math.
Four and a half million is three and a half million more than one million.
See?
But a million dollars to be an actor in a film is still good.
It's real good, you guys.
Here's the venomous little heart of this thing for me: actors want to be treated like normal people (for the most part), because, technically, they are normal people, in the biological sense, anyway. They still eat and sleep and poop and fuck, just like all humans*, but there is something that happens to an actor's mind (most actors, not all actors) that changes the value of things...suddenly, getting paid anything for acting in a movie, is no longer the most incredible (and I mean that in the literal sense of the word) occurrence in the world.
Something changes and makes that actor think that, because they are sharing their ability to pretend in front of a camera with the rest of the world, that receiving less than a million dollars is, somehow, unfair or wrong. Not worth their time.
I'm now a full time actor, primarily voice, but I do on screen as well. I have booked jobs where the amount of money I've received for my time seemed ridiculous; thousands of dollars for, in some cases, less than an hour of work, that "work" consisting of talking into a microphone in a quiet, comfortable room in New York City. I've also done much more than that amount of "work" for far less, sometimes for free, even.
Because being a working actor is the best job in the world and because I am so, so insanely grateful that this is where I am right now.
And, when I look at things like Howard turning down the chance to be in a movie, let alone for a million fucking dollars, I get sick.
This isn't what this is supposed to be about.
And I'm not just pointing fingers at Terrence Howard. Robert Downey Jr. was paid fifty million to be in Avengers.
Fifty million.
That's fifty times more than what Terrence Howard turned down not to be in Iron Man 2.
And that makes me sick, too.
What does RDJ (or any eight-digit-paycheck-per-film actor) need fifty million dollars for?
Transportation?
Food?
Even without eating the best food in the world and taking the fastest and most private jets in the world, one can still live well without anywhere near that much money.
And he received that amount for one movie.
I don't really know where I'm going here. I suppose this is an indictment of the entire entertainment industry?
How does one determine the value of an actor's time and skill versus that of a fireman or a teacher?
How is it that one VO job pays $500, another pays $100 and a third pays $10,000?
I am not Terrence Howard. Yes, I really do understand that. I am not a movie star. I also understand that.
But I am a professional actor, and the idea of turning down the work that makes me a professional actor seems utterly senseless to me.
I am still utterly shocked and delighted every time I book a gig and they have an unlimited supply of water for me to drink.
And snacks!
I feel like I've won some sort of prize!
And you're going to pay me to talk into this microphone?!
I've been doing this for ten years now, and I am almost just as stoked about it as I was the very first time I booked a gig and received viable currency for doing something that I love and am good at.
What the fuck else do you need, Terrence? Robert?
What do you need aside from receiving money and adulation for doing something you love and are good at**?
Anyway.
Unfocused spatter of bile concluded.
One last, two part question for Terrence, if I may: if someone had walked up to you with a million dollars when you were growing up in Chicago all those years ago, and told you it was for pretending you were Iron Man's best friend, would you have turned it down then?
What's changed in forty years, you cock?
* And I apologize for excluding those among us without digestive systems, mouths or sexual orgams, I really do.
** Robert, not Terrence. Quite frankly, I'm overjoyed they bumped him off of the Iron Man movies.
What changes in a person that suddenly makes one million dollars not seem like a lot of money?
Remember when you and your friends would sit around and say stupid shit like, "How much money would it take for you to eat poop?"
And you'd say something like, "Not for less than a million dollars!"
Let's be honest; we all know someone who would eat poop for far less that a million dollars.
But, and this whole fuckrant is contingent on whether or not the information contained within these articles is accurate, Terrence Howard wouldn't eat poop for a million dollars.
Nope.
You know what else he wouldn't do for a millions dollars?
Be a part of a franchise that has grossed over a billion dollars.
I understand how, relatively, one million is less than four and a half million.
I do.
It's math.
Four and a half million is three and a half million more than one million.
See?
But a million dollars to be an actor in a film is still good.
It's real good, you guys.
Here's the venomous little heart of this thing for me: actors want to be treated like normal people (for the most part), because, technically, they are normal people, in the biological sense, anyway. They still eat and sleep and poop and fuck, just like all humans*, but there is something that happens to an actor's mind (most actors, not all actors) that changes the value of things...suddenly, getting paid anything for acting in a movie, is no longer the most incredible (and I mean that in the literal sense of the word) occurrence in the world.
Something changes and makes that actor think that, because they are sharing their ability to pretend in front of a camera with the rest of the world, that receiving less than a million dollars is, somehow, unfair or wrong. Not worth their time.
I'm now a full time actor, primarily voice, but I do on screen as well. I have booked jobs where the amount of money I've received for my time seemed ridiculous; thousands of dollars for, in some cases, less than an hour of work, that "work" consisting of talking into a microphone in a quiet, comfortable room in New York City. I've also done much more than that amount of "work" for far less, sometimes for free, even.
Because being a working actor is the best job in the world and because I am so, so insanely grateful that this is where I am right now.
And, when I look at things like Howard turning down the chance to be in a movie, let alone for a million fucking dollars, I get sick.
This isn't what this is supposed to be about.
And I'm not just pointing fingers at Terrence Howard. Robert Downey Jr. was paid fifty million to be in Avengers.
Fifty million.
That's fifty times more than what Terrence Howard turned down not to be in Iron Man 2.
And that makes me sick, too.
What does RDJ (or any eight-digit-paycheck-per-film actor) need fifty million dollars for?
Transportation?
Food?
Even without eating the best food in the world and taking the fastest and most private jets in the world, one can still live well without anywhere near that much money.
And he received that amount for one movie.
I don't really know where I'm going here. I suppose this is an indictment of the entire entertainment industry?
How does one determine the value of an actor's time and skill versus that of a fireman or a teacher?
How is it that one VO job pays $500, another pays $100 and a third pays $10,000?
I am not Terrence Howard. Yes, I really do understand that. I am not a movie star. I also understand that.
But I am a professional actor, and the idea of turning down the work that makes me a professional actor seems utterly senseless to me.
I am still utterly shocked and delighted every time I book a gig and they have an unlimited supply of water for me to drink.
And snacks!
I feel like I've won some sort of prize!
And you're going to pay me to talk into this microphone?!
I've been doing this for ten years now, and I am almost just as stoked about it as I was the very first time I booked a gig and received viable currency for doing something that I love and am good at.
What the fuck else do you need, Terrence? Robert?
What do you need aside from receiving money and adulation for doing something you love and are good at**?
Anyway.
Unfocused spatter of bile concluded.
One last, two part question for Terrence, if I may: if someone had walked up to you with a million dollars when you were growing up in Chicago all those years ago, and told you it was for pretending you were Iron Man's best friend, would you have turned it down then?
What's changed in forty years, you cock?
* And I apologize for excluding those among us without digestive systems, mouths or sexual orgams, I really do.
** Robert, not Terrence. Quite frankly, I'm overjoyed they bumped him off of the Iron Man movies.
11.01.2013
End of the Month Music Bitchfest - October 2013
Nine Inch Nails
Well, I finally experienced TENSION, and, while I still don't have any idea why it was titled as such, it was pretty amazing.
In a nutshell: while each song (for the most part) had its own incredible set of lights and programming, the whole show seemed to lack coherence, the back up singers worked except for when they didn't and I was 90% surprised and delighted at the set list.
For a full (read: fanboy) review of the two shows I attended, go to HERE.
They Might Be Giants
TMBG are having their last U.S. concert until 2015 on Saturday, November 2nd at Terminal 5, and I plan on being there (unless I'm still sick, as I am at the moment). They've promised the entire first album (something they haven't done since 1992) and I am greatly looking forward to hearing some stuff I've never heard before, as well as more stuff from Nanobots.
Still no word on the 2014 IFC...
Eels
Plans for a fall / winter tour have become plans for a new album, which is so much more exciting.
I love Wonderful, Glorious and think that the new approach of having no approach worked excellently; here's hoping for more in studio collaborative gold.
At the behest of Chris Kniker (Primitive Race founder and mastermind), I went ahead and checked out the latest Gary Numan, Splinter (Songs From A Broken Mind), and, while I haven't had too much time with it, I'm enjoying the majority of what I'm hearing. Maybe as much as Dead Sun Rising, although I'd need more time with it to be sure.
On the whole, Splinter sounds like it all takes place in the same rotted, filthy shell of a building; with crumbling walls of diseased synth and infected guitars. Some rooms are better than others though.
It opens strong with "I Am Dust", which features a huge, invocational chanting chorus, but things get ridiculous fast with the scary whisper talking of "Here In The Black". This song actually contains the lyrics "so it waits like...a demon assassin of God."
Oy.
Some other "Oy" moments include "Who Are You", which, although it only clocks in at 3:45, became annoying and skippable after about a minute and "Love Hurt Bleed"*, which sound like something Gravity Kills, Stabbing Westward and Marilyn Manson pooped on, a track that might pop up in a 90's, WB tween drama made-for-TV movie club scene to show that the cute, blonde protagonist is NOT in Kansas anymore!!!!
Ugh.
But, aside from those skid marks, most everything else on the album is good, and some of it is very good.
"The Calling" sounds like a Gary Numan Bond theme (very interesting), the title track feels vaguely reminiscent of something from Peter Murphy's "Dust", and the programming and textures on "A Shadow Falls On Me" are fantastic.
I also really enjoyed the softness and sincerity of "Lost" (which feels a bit like "For The Rest Of My Life" from Dead Sun) and "My Last Day"; when those walls of noise are finally broken down, you can really appreciate the depth and detail that Numan's been putting into his work for the past decade or so.
Splinter holds together very well and is a really solid work with great sonic atmosphere, but it still vacillates between sounding like more interesting Depeche Mode and less interesting Nine Inch Nails for me.
And, while I hate to keep saying this about Numan's more recent albums, I wonder what having Reznor's input would do for him and his music, and I'd love to see the two of them work on something, be it a Numan record, a NIN record or something that is just the two of them.
Bottom line: if you liked Jagged and loved Dead Sun Rising, you're going to dig this.
Along with Splinter, two new tracks from the upcoming Alessandro Cortini album, Forse 2, have been released and it sounds like more of the same.
Which works just fine for me.
Here are "Canta" and "Luna" (fourth track in) from Forse 2, coming in November.
And there you have it.
Might have something to say about that TMBG show next month and another bloated trip down my NIN memory lane...
Until then.
* Which may be the silliest, gothiest, angstiest song title FUCKING EVER.
Well, I finally experienced TENSION, and, while I still don't have any idea why it was titled as such, it was pretty amazing.
In a nutshell: while each song (for the most part) had its own incredible set of lights and programming, the whole show seemed to lack coherence, the back up singers worked except for when they didn't and I was 90% surprised and delighted at the set list.
For a full (read: fanboy) review of the two shows I attended, go to HERE.
They Might Be Giants
TMBG are having their last U.S. concert until 2015 on Saturday, November 2nd at Terminal 5, and I plan on being there (unless I'm still sick, as I am at the moment). They've promised the entire first album (something they haven't done since 1992) and I am greatly looking forward to hearing some stuff I've never heard before, as well as more stuff from Nanobots.
Still no word on the 2014 IFC...
Eels
Plans for a fall / winter tour have become plans for a new album, which is so much more exciting.
I love Wonderful, Glorious and think that the new approach of having no approach worked excellently; here's hoping for more in studio collaborative gold.
At the behest of Chris Kniker (Primitive Race founder and mastermind), I went ahead and checked out the latest Gary Numan, Splinter (Songs From A Broken Mind), and, while I haven't had too much time with it, I'm enjoying the majority of what I'm hearing. Maybe as much as Dead Sun Rising, although I'd need more time with it to be sure.
On the whole, Splinter sounds like it all takes place in the same rotted, filthy shell of a building; with crumbling walls of diseased synth and infected guitars. Some rooms are better than others though.
It opens strong with "I Am Dust", which features a huge, invocational chanting chorus, but things get ridiculous fast with the scary whisper talking of "Here In The Black". This song actually contains the lyrics "so it waits like...a demon assassin of God."
Oy.
Some other "Oy" moments include "Who Are You", which, although it only clocks in at 3:45, became annoying and skippable after about a minute and "Love Hurt Bleed"*, which sound like something Gravity Kills, Stabbing Westward and Marilyn Manson pooped on, a track that might pop up in a 90's, WB tween drama made-for-TV movie club scene to show that the cute, blonde protagonist is NOT in Kansas anymore!!!!
Ugh.
But, aside from those skid marks, most everything else on the album is good, and some of it is very good.
"The Calling" sounds like a Gary Numan Bond theme (very interesting), the title track feels vaguely reminiscent of something from Peter Murphy's "Dust", and the programming and textures on "A Shadow Falls On Me" are fantastic.
I also really enjoyed the softness and sincerity of "Lost" (which feels a bit like "For The Rest Of My Life" from Dead Sun) and "My Last Day"; when those walls of noise are finally broken down, you can really appreciate the depth and detail that Numan's been putting into his work for the past decade or so.
Splinter holds together very well and is a really solid work with great sonic atmosphere, but it still vacillates between sounding like more interesting Depeche Mode and less interesting Nine Inch Nails for me.
And, while I hate to keep saying this about Numan's more recent albums, I wonder what having Reznor's input would do for him and his music, and I'd love to see the two of them work on something, be it a Numan record, a NIN record or something that is just the two of them.
Bottom line: if you liked Jagged and loved Dead Sun Rising, you're going to dig this.
Along with Splinter, two new tracks from the upcoming Alessandro Cortini album, Forse 2, have been released and it sounds like more of the same.
Which works just fine for me.
Here are "Canta" and "Luna" (fourth track in) from Forse 2, coming in November.
And there you have it.
Might have something to say about that TMBG show next month and another bloated trip down my NIN memory lane...
Until then.
* Which may be the silliest, gothiest, angstiest song title FUCKING EVER.
10.31.2013
A review of nine inch nails live: tension 2013 - OR - Fuck Every Show I've Ever Seen Ever
I attended both the Brooklyn, NY show and the Newark, NJ show on October 14th and 15th, respectively.
Here are the stand outs from each night:
Piggy - This is the first time the lights break the fourth wall, for lack of a better term. Up to this point, the lights have been utilized on the stage to highlight portions of the stage, but, here, they strafe out into the crowd in rays in time with the song's deep synth noise. Always with the gradual progression...
All Time Low - And here, specifically at the end, is where shit gets real.
Disappointed - CONTINUED REAL SHIT.
Satellite - You know how you'll listen to a new album and there are songs that you just know will not be played live? This was one of them and when I heard the opening, I actually did a tiny, little girl hop. Then the ridiculous real-time wireframe visuals came up and...well, I kind of just stood and stared.
Holy fucking shit.
Roy, Rob, Trent...take your dicks out of my brain.
In Two - Not as surprising as "Satellite", but still surprising. The all out assault of lights on this was just stunning, breath-taking. And the added harmony during the break down is, without a doubt, my favorite use of the two backup singers. The results were absolutely beautiful.
A Warm Place - My very first thought was: Holy fuck! "A Warm Place"! I'd never heard this live before and I am so happy I got the chance. This was less like listening to a song as it was being swallowed whole by a song; a living, breathing womb. Utterly amazing.
Somewhat Damaged > Wish > Burn - Excellent choice of arrangement. There was so much visceral anger in these three songs that I found myself acting like some belligerent little pit shit for a moment. You can really tell Trent's been working on his vocal control with "Somewhat Damaged" and "Burn". Also, a quick note on "Wish". For a while now, this has been on my list of songs I could do without at a Nine Inch Nails show. I mean, I've been to 13 NIN shows since 2000 and it's been played at every one. So. I added it to the list, knowing that I was going to hear it yet again and that I was going to sing along and pump my fist at the appropriate time, but that my heart wouldn't be in it. Then, I saw it live and was swept up completely. And here's what I have come to realize: hearing "Wish" played live gets old, but seeing "Wish"played live? Tori Amos used to open her shows with an eight minute version of "Precious Things". It was...amazing. When her album, To Venus And Back, came out, the second disc had this eight minute live rendition on it as track one and I could never listen to the whole thing. You need to see it.
All this to say: please ignore any further complaints about the inclusion of "Wish" on future setlists. Thank you.
The Day The World Went Away - One of my favorite NIN songs. Any time I get to see this live, it feels like a gift and this time was no different. Just incredible.
There were some substitutions the second night, namely "Reptile" instead of "Piggy" (and I'm going to side with "Reptile" on this one. Goddamn does this still destroy the world live), plus "The Big Come Down", "Into The Void" (another favorite and another one that worked very well with the backup vocals sung by women), "Echoplex" (good to hear, but seemed to lack something) and "I'm Afraid Of Americans" (which was so loud, so deliciously loud...). In most cases, you could tell which songs were interchangeable by their lack of visual accompaniment.
The first and most startling aspect of my time at these shows I have to mention was the complete and delightfully shocking abandonment of the tried and true (and boring) three-part live formula*. This is the first Nine Inch Nails concert since the year 2000 where I've had no idea what to expect** and the feeling was just sublime...although I was pretty sure "The Hand That Feeds" was going to precede "Head Like A Hole".
Along with that, the vast number of "swing songs" has been impressive. At this point in the tour, we've heard about thirty-five, including the entirety of Hesitation Marks except for "Everything" and, according to Reznor, there are still around five or ten songs to be revealed over the next month.
Damn.
Then, we have the new additions to the tour line up, specifically, sleepy bass god, Pino Palladino and the two female, African American back up singers, Lisa Fischer and Sharlotte Gibson. I'm mentioning their race because this was something I was concerned about, that they would add too much "Gawspel" to the mix and, in some cases, that was a problem. It was not a problem on "Into The Void", however, as the album version actually featured an African American back up vocalist who added a lot to the original track. Their contribution was most felt, for me, on "In Two". Their presence transformed the bridge of that song into something just perfect. I only want to hear the live version now. As far as what else they lent to the tour, I'll need to hear a clean concert recording before I can really determine. Off the top of my head, I think they stood out in a negative way on "Disappointed" and "Black Noise" and blended perfectly on the aforementioned songs. Overall, I think they should have functioned as texture and not overtaken Reznor, which, in a few instances, I feel they did.
I also loved the visual references to past NIN stage setups, such as the Fragility v 2.0 "waves" during "The Wretched", the Fragility v1.0 lighting pods in "Somewhat Damaged", and, of course, the NIN logo (and the new version of said logo) during the end of HLAH from the 2006 Summer tour.
But, while Reznor, Bennett and Sheridan seemed well aware of and connected to past incarnations of NIN live, the show itself seemed to lack cohesion. While each song was, for the most part, jaw droppingly impressive with regards to the visual set up and the light programming, I didn't feel like this was anything more than a really amazing resume for Moment Factory; an opportunity to show the world how fucking awesome they are.
Is this a bad thing? I mean, I had an amazing time, I was awestruck by some of the things I was seeing, so, do I really need to feel that story had been told? I might be less concerned with this if the tour weren't named. Even after seeing two shows, I still don't get where the "tension" was supposed to be.*** I really , really hope this decision wasn't based solely on the merchandise...a lot of which had the words "tension" on it.
Perhaps if there had been one, static set piece that worked as a thematic anchor or more of a tie in with the Mills visuals from the album....
Okay, now, as this is a place where I go to piss and moan and find fault with the things I love, I suppose I'll have to find something to bitch about.
...uh...well, aside from the tiresome but completely unsurprising (and necessary?) inclusion of "The Hand That Feeds" into "Head Like A Hole" (which amounted to a single hair in an otherwise delectable meal)****, the fact that I didn't hear "Various Methods Of Escape", "I Would For You" and "In This Twilight" (my favorite songs from their respective albums) and the lack of cohesion I mentioned earlier...you guys, this was a unique and incredible experience for me, and will be for you too, if you manage to catch it live.
Before I wrap up, just a quick word about Godspeed You! Black Emperor!, who opened for NIN both nights.
I didn't know anything about these guys except that people seemed to have vague hatred for them. I did a little research, as I like to be at least somewhat familiar with openers and kept finding EPs, but no full length albums...until I looked a little closer and saw that these four and five and six track "EPs" were full length albums, most of the songs clocking in at around twenty minutes or so.
Ah ha.
They worked, overall; there was a hugeness and a great calm at the heart of their thirty minute, two song set, although I'm not sure if I'd call what they do self indulgent or hilarious or brilliant.
Probably not that third one.
Whichever their motivations for doing what they do, they seem dedicated to it.
Might interest you, if you are patient and / or into pot.
* Part one ending with "Gave Up", part two being all quiet and moody and visual, and part three starting with "Wish".
** 100% visually and maybe 80% on the setlist, thanks, primarily, to some cunt mouth from the This One Is On Us twitter account who POSTED ON TWITTER, AFTER HAVING COMMENTED ABOUT NOT WANTING THE SHOW TO BE SPOILED, SPECIFIC DETAILS ABOUT THE END OF THE SHOW. If they had just posted the spoiler, this would have been less shitty, but specifically mentioning it and then doing it? Fucking dick.
*** Unless you count the pre-show music, which included 80's horror movie soundtracks, selections from The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo score (cool to hear on such a huge speaker setup) and other ambient, sparse electronic stuff.
**** And we're talking, like, the hair of a really attractive women whose hair you wouldn't mind eating...like Deborah Ann Woll.
10.18.2013
A response to Buzzfeed's "The 32 Absolute Worst Parts About Being Tall"
Hi, I'm 6"8, and am, therefore, qualified to write this response.
Here we go.
Here we go.
1. Every hug is awkward.
Wrong. I've found that the people I hug enjoy the enveloping nature of my hug; it reminds them of the womb and has a calming effect.
My hugs are the best.
My hugs are the best.
2. "I need someone tall to grab something!"
Not an issue, I'm always happy to help.
3. Low ceilings
True. Fuck low ceilings.
True. Fuck low ceilings.
4. Beds Are Way Too Small
Not really. I sleep just fine in a queen-sized bed and, while it's not the most comfortable, I can make due in a smaller bed just fine, thanks.
Not really. I sleep just fine in a queen-sized bed and, while it's not the most comfortable, I can make due in a smaller bed just fine, thanks.
5. Everyone hates you at shows.
Perhaps, but I'm in front of you because I got there before you. If you want to be in front of me...guess how to solve this particular problem.
You whiny, fucking asshole.
Perhaps, but I'm in front of you because I got there before you. If you want to be in front of me...guess how to solve this particular problem.
You whiny, fucking asshole.
6. You don't fit in foreign cars
I don't fit in any cars, but, thanks to my time doing yoga and Butoh, I can deal.
Airplanes are the devil's cock though.
I don't fit in any cars, but, thanks to my time doing yoga and Butoh, I can deal.
Airplanes are the devil's cock though.
7. People think it's socially acceptable to jump on your back without asking.
Thirty two years old and this has never happened.
Thirty two years old and this has never happened.
8. Everyone expects you to be good at sports (but you're not)
Also true, although it's specifically basketball. I did try to play basketball back in 6th grade and learned that one must also have coordination, which I do not have. The two sports I am good at are crew and swimming, in case you're wondering.
Also true, although it's specifically basketball. I did try to play basketball back in 6th grade and learned that one must also have coordination, which I do not have. The two sports I am good at are crew and swimming, in case you're wondering.
9. You've never actually seen your face in a mirror before.
This one...doesn't really make sense...
This one...doesn't really make sense...
10. Long legs means naturally outpacing anyone you walk with.
True, but you could all benefit to losing a bit of weight.
True, but you could all benefit to losing a bit of weight.
11. The deep end of the pool always leaves something to be desired.
I've never been in a pool with a deep end shallower than ten feet so...no.
I've never been in a pool with a deep end shallower than ten feet so...no.
12. Long sleeves are never long enough.
As I don't have monster arms, this has never been the case.
As I don't have monster arms, this has never been the case.
13. And pants are always way too short.
Also not true.
Also not true.
14. People ALWAYS insist you've grown since you last saw them.
Not since I was a teenager, no. When I was a teenager, however, that was usually the case.
Not since I was a teenager, no. When I was a teenager, however, that was usually the case.
15. One size fits all never fits.
True.
True.
16. Everyone asks how tall you are.
True, but I usually have a cache of smart ass answers for those people.
True, but I usually have a cache of smart ass answers for those people.
17. You haven't been able to relax in a bathtub since you were 10.
True. It's hell.
18. Airplane seats are knee destroyers.
Here's the trick: don't let the motherfucker in front of you lower their god damn seats. There is NO WAY you not being able to tilt your seat back will be less comfortable for you than simply BEING in a n airplane will be for me.
Also, fuck airlines, especially American Airlines.
Also, fuck airlines, especially American Airlines.
19. Your knees don't fit under your desk.
Get a bigger desk, idiot. I'd rather light a candle than curse the darkness.
20. Everyone uses you as a beacon in crowds.
Again, happy to help.
21. Getting called “Jolly Green Giant” when you wear green.
Much like the "people jumping on my back" thing, this has never happened. I prefer the company of more original individuals.
22. You can never hear people at parties.
Ugh, yes. Or I have to bend down and press my ear to your face. If only there was a way to...oh, wait...chairs have been invented.
23. You’re always picked to be the goalie.
No, I am not.
24. You always have to stand in the back of group pictures.
Well...yeah, how the fuck else are you going to see anyone else if I'm standing in front of them? And, so what f I'm in the back, I'm tall, so you're going to see me.
Buzzfeed...did you run out of things?
25. Or awkwardly crouch to get in frame.
Unless the person taking the picture has no arms or lacks the ability to raise their arms, this is not an issue. I have been on shoots where they have to reframe though. And it's awesome.
26. “What’s the weather like up there?”
*spit*
It's raining, you unoriginal fuck.
27. Public transportation wasn’t built for you.
This was truer years ago before the buses and subways in New York got bigger. I will say certain subway stations are awful though, especially Union Square. Jesus Christ, I fucking hate Union Square.
28. You can't swing on swings.
YES I FUCKING CAN.
29. People use you for shade or to block wind.
Not strangers, but I'm happy to help friends out.
30. Your legs are always in the way on trains, buses, and airplanes.
Correction: all of me is always in the way on trains, buses etc. And that's why I tend to try to move out of the way. If someone has a real problem with it though, I'm sure we can both work together and find a way for you to go and fuck yourself.
31. It’s always unnerving to meet people who are taller.
For me? Fuck no it isn't. It's awesome. I can make eye contact without hurting my neck, I can share an understand look with them I can't with others and, finally, I have someone to high five about my dick size without it being weird.
For you? Deal with it, we're the next step in human evolution and will get all the eaves off the top branches.
32. The points of open umbrellas are always right at eye level.
More like neck level, am very tall. And I never have a problem knocking them out of the way. Pay attention you ball sac, you're carrying an open umbrella.
So, to summarize: my biggest problem is airplanes, I am fine with using my height for good and, in the end, I'm a living, breathing sign that the human race is evolving.
Hope this helped clarify things.
I'll just leave you with this...
10.01.2013
End of the Month Music Bitchfest - September 2013
Nine Inch Nails
In honor of the official release of a brand new "halo" at the start of the month, I thought I would take a ramble down memory lane with regards to the previous twenty seven halos.
Halo 1 (Down In It) - What a disappointing start. I can't recall just where I found this. I remember listening to the handful of "Down In It" remixes and not really caring. Or not getting the subtleties. I know this was obtained around my introduction to NIN and that I was hungry for new NIN, not a bunch of remixes of a song I didn't really care about.
Halo 2 (Pretty Hate Machine) - Another complete blank. I remember listening to only "Head Like A Hole", "Terrible Lie", "Something I Can Never Have", "The Only Time" and "Ringfinger" when I first got this, and, today, while I understand how important this album was at the time, for music, both industrial and in general, it's still not my favorite.
Halo 3 (Head Like A Hole) - Same as Down In It, although I did dig some of these remixes. And that random instrumental? And that weird little sound clip at the end? One thing I will say: the Opal remix of "Head Like A Hole" is EXACTLY was I look for in a remix: a total reconstruction with connections to the original, an exploration and rediscovery of the original.
And a Prince sample.
I also always look for a Prince sample.
Halo 4 (Sin) - In 8th grade, my class took a trip to Boston. While there, we went to Quincy Marketplace. As my friends and I were in the clutches of NIN Fever (or NINfluenza), we found our way to The Wall, which, when compared to the glut of Best Buys that covered the Floridian landscape like pustules on an ass, was the most Indie music store any of us had EVER seen. While there, we came across a double pack of the French import versions of both Sin and Fixed. Wide-eyed, I made my purchase...
Halo 5 (Broken) - I got deep into Nine Inch Nails during my time in Florida (the six years from 1994 to 1999) and, during that time, I purchased most of their most easily attainable catalog from mega-chain stores, such as Best Buy. Pretty sure that's where I got my copy of Broken. I remember actually being startled when "Physical" started, as there was no Internet and therefore no way for me to know about those "hidden" tracks. I remember thinking something was wrong when I first heard that growl coming out of my speakers.
Halo 6 (Fixed) - So eager were my friends and I to hear this counterpart to Broken, that one of my friends, Matt Vander Maten, bought a set of those shitty speakers that plug into your Discman so we could listen immediately, in our shared hotel room. About...I don't know...a minute or so into the first track, the speakers, literally, exploded. There was a pop, a hiss, a whiff of smoke and that was the end of our impromptu Fixed listening party. While we were all bummed that we couldn't listen to the album right then, we were thrilled that we now possessed music that had the ability to actually destroy a set of speakers.
Halo 7 (March of the Pigs) - Yet another blank, odd considering the really solid remixes on here. Maybe my mind has been tampered with...
Halo 8 (The Downward Spiral) - My first halo, which I received for Christmas, 1994. It also happened to be one of the first two CDs I ever got (the other being Green Day's Dookie, which, since it also had fourteen tracks, planted the idea that all albums should have fourteen tracks and, to this day, albums with less feel light, while those with more feel fuller). When I first listened to the album, I would skip a lot of it, playing the hits more than anything else. Eventually, that changed and I would begin adding more and more tracks to the program (remember programming CD playlists on your stereo?). An odd occurrence that I'm just remembering now: over the years, I have owned three copies of TDS on CD (although I only really played the shit out of the first two copies, the third was the deluxe edition, purchased after the rise and reign of the mp3), and both copies developed a skip right around the build up of "Eraser". That was also the point at which I most often fell asleep while listening to the album if I happened to put it on while going to bed or on a long car ride. I also remember never being able to get all the artwork and that slimline back in the sleeve properly.
Halo 9 (Closer) - As was my practice while in Florida, I would always look for the "Import Single" section of every music store I went into. It's here, at the Coconuts Music in Altamonte Springs where I found the digipak of Closer, which, although it had space for two discs, only contained one. I did not understand either the madness of Gary Talpas or the greed of overseas record companies and had never seen packaging like this before, so I obviously thought something was wrong and went back in to complain about the "missing disc".
I showed my purchase to the clerk and, thanks to both my ignorance and his, he went into the back and found the slimline case containing disc two, thinking (as I did) that my packaging (perhaps some deluxe version?) was, indeed, missing its second disc.
It was later that I discovered that I had not been swindled (not by Coconuts at least) and that there was a second disc that came separately.
SUCK IT, ISLAND RECORDS!
Halo 10 (Further Down The Spiral) - This was another Best Buy purchase, but, with a twist. As I stood there, holding two copies of this in my hand, I noticed some differences...namely that one was in your typical jewel case, while the other was in some sort of digipak. Odd. Then, I flipped them over and did some scrutinizing. What? "The Art of Self Destruction...part three"? "Hurt...live"? To this day, I have no fucking idea how a Best Buy in Longwood, Florida got the UK import of FDTS.
Halo 11 (The Perfect Drug) - Oh my fucking shit was I excited about this. I loved the new, non-TDS artwork on this but was just as oh-my-fucking-shit crushed by the lack of an album version of the original. I think I found this at the Blockbuster Music right outside the, yes, you guessed it, Altamonte Mall.
Hated that Orb remix, still do.
And, call me crazy, but is this the last halo to have a NIN remix of a NIN song on it?
If so, that is fucking bullshit.
Halo 12 (Closure) - Yet another "Holy shit! Way to go, Best Buy!" moment. I don't know why I was looking at the "Music Video" section (I never did) or how this caught my eye among the other video cassettes; I had no fucking idea this even existed, let alone what it looked like. My very first thought was that it was fake (they'd even misspelled "Closer"), although, what a fake Nine Inch Nails double-video cassette would be doing in a Best Buy...? My thinking didn't get that far. I bought it. As it turns out, I was on my way to role play (White Wolf, none of that geeky D&D shit) and I spent the whole fucking time grinding my teeth and wishing I was watching this. This was around the height of my obsession with Nine Inch Nails and, yes, I did think of asking to use their VCR for a few moments, just to see and understand what this thing was. You must remember that, when this came out, there was no way to see a HD version of any NIN video, forget fucking "Sin" or "Gave Up". The first time I put this in was the first time I was seeing a lot of these videos in their proper form. I recall watching endless hours of MTV with the VCR ready to go, hoping that they would play "The Perfect Drug" (my absolutely favorite NIN video and song), and when they did, and I got that "perfect" copy*, watching it over and over and over, pausing it, going through it frame by frame, trying to understand what was happening, to understand the story of the video.** I thought up narratives for the character Reznor played in that video, man...
In other words: you damn kids and your YouTube.
Also, release Closure on fucking Blu Ray. You can't tell, but I'm pressing a fifty dollar bill against my screen.
Halo 13 (The Day The World Went Away) - The first Nine Inch Nails music from a new album in five years and the last Nine Inch Nails music I would buy in the state of Florida. Can't remember if it was Camelot or Sam Goody, but it was yet another of those forgettable music chain stores, all of which are now gone, where I bought this. I was with a girl named Brooke and it was my last summer before I returned to New York City for college. We listened to the first two tracks in her truck while she drove me home as they had both been played on the radio, however, I wanted the "Quiet" version all to myself and my headphones. I had made a tape off the radio of "The Day The World Went Away" and "Star****ers, Inc.", just those two songs, and would listen to nothing but that. Until this came out, of course. The first time I heard "The Day The World Went Away (Quiet)" I cried. Then I started the CD over again. I have never been more obsessed with any fifteen minutes of music in my life.
Halo 14 (The Fragile) - One of the most exciting moments of my life. I went to the midnight release at the Times Square Virgin Megastore (where I also picked up To Venus and Back...which I didn't even open for about a month) then rushed back to my dorm and listened to this for...let me see...14 years.
Like some folks, I thought that one disc was to be all instrumentals and the other was to be all vocals and was very happy to see that was not the case.
I'm almost unable to focus on this because it's just too big...hearing "La Mer" into "The Great Below" into "The Way Out Is Through" for the first time, the connection shared by "The Fragile" and "The Frail", that instant love affair with "Into The Void", seeing "The Day The World Went Away" in context, the amazing Carson artwork, the harmonies...Jesus.
I would play selections of this for anyone even remotely willing to listen and the entire thing for anyone slightly more than remotely willing to listen.
I tried to write plays based on several songs (I was a Theater major) and convince directors who cast me to use tracks from the album in their shows, just to be able to sit in a room and hear the new Nine Inch Nails on something other than my headphones or my stereo or my computer.
I could not get this loud enough or be close enough to this music.
The Fragile was my life for several years, and, honestly, it still kind of is.
So, when you see my bitching about Reznor not releasing the deluxe / 5.1 / ultimate / amazing blowjob version of this that he's been teasing since the mid-2000's , I hope you have a bit more of an understanding as to why it's more than the consumer in me gnashing its teeth.
Shit.
I wish I wasn't feeling so inarticulate today or I'd drown you in information you don't really care about.
Halo 15 (We're In This Together) - I clearly recall trawling every music store in New York City for these fucking things. I also remember my blistering disappointment with the orange one; you know it, the one with the radio edit of "We're In This Together", the "Quiet" remix of TDTWWA which I'd had and been listening to for, literally, months, and the stunningly awful Porter Ricks remix of TDTWWA, which is, essentially, a steady, unchanging drum beat running at a different BMP than the original song, elements of which one can kind of hear, soft and distant, in the left channel. This goes up there was one of the worst Nine Inch Nails remixes ever, perhaps only bested (or...worsted?) by Olaf Lazyass's remix of "Me, I'm Not", but, never mind...
The other two parts (which I found here and there, Virgin Megastore, HMV, etc.), were pure gold in comparison, one of which contained two brand new tracks from The Fragile...unless you owned the album on vinyl, which, at the time, I did not.
However, while all these tracks couldn't have been released in one place, on one disc, is a mystery...a mystery which, I deduce, could be solved by corporate greed.
Halo 16 (Things Falling Apart) - Another midnight release at the Times Square Virgin Megastore, although this one was a bit less packed and had a lot less fanfare. I remember they gave those who bought the album a sort of official, bootleg NIN shirt...it was white with a neon pink and green NIN logo and something about MTV on the back...maybe TRL?
Fucked if I know.
I actually threw it out.
Halo 17 (And All That Could Have Been) - Fragility v 2.0 was my first NIN show (I had missed Self Destruct by a day when I was living in Florida) and I was in the pit in Philadelphia.
Fuck the pit in Philadelphia.
Fuck the pit in general.
I was expecting the scrim with the projections from Fragility v 1.0, so when those fucking panels came down...my jaw actually dropped.
And then I got out of the pit because, as I think I may have mentioned, fuck the pit.
When AATCHB was announced, I was only concerned with Still.
There was a screening party for the DVD at some goth club in Manhattan and I went and patiently sat through the performance, anything to kill time before new, Fragile-related Nine Inch Nails music.
The day it came out, I headed to the Virgin Megastore Times Square to get my copy of the deluxe version and then I went right back outside to stand in line to meet Trent Reznor, Danny Lohner and Jerome Dillon and have them sign my stuff later that day.
Long story short, when I finally got to him, a smiling, bearded Trent Reznor, I wanted to tell him about my favorite song from The Fragile and ask about how he'd created it and what it meant to him and what it meant to me, but, thanks to the Virgin Megastore's decision to BLAST the live album AS LOUD AS THE IN STORE SPEAKERS COULD, I was only able to yell something about how cool I thought the album was before he smiled and stuck out his hand.
My time with Trent Reznor was done.
Ah. Golden memories.
Fuck the pit.
Halo 18 (The Hand That Feeds) - Probably the second most expectant I have ever been for a new NIN release. I knew there was no way this new album could be as good as The Fragile...it was only one disc, how could it be? But that doesn't mean I wasn't going out of my mind for brand new Nine Inch Nails music. The very first time I heard "The Hand That Feeds", it was just as Trent Reznor had suspected and in exactly the fashion he was afraid I might hear it in: a blurry recording of some leaked copy that was stolen from the set of the original music video shoot. Also, somehow, it was sped up. Maybe the original was a shitty vinyl rip? Whatever the case, my very first thought was: "Is this a joke?"
As soon as this entered my mind, I knew it to be the case.
Here's what happened: Reznor knew about the expectation leading up to With Teeth, the first NIN album in six years and was going to pull one over on us. So, he recorded and "leaked" this shitty copy of this shitty song that was easy and simple and boring. Oh Trent, you rascal. Once my brain walked in and dickslapped me, I realized, with great disappointment, that this was, indeed, the first single off the brand new Nine Inch Nails album that was meant to follow The Fragile. I was ready for this not to be "The Day The World Went Away", but this? This?
This was also the final halo I purchased at the late, great Virgin Megastore in Times Square, specifically the vinyl 10" with one of those goddamn awful DFA remixes on it. Yeech.
Although that transparent CD was pretty cool.
Halo 19 (With Teeth) - The next tracks I heard off of WT were "The Line Begins To Blur" which made me hopeful and then, about two or three days before the album itself leaked, "Getting Smaller", which made me confused. As for the album itself, nothing special, Best Buy, I think.
This was the first Nine Inch Nails album I was to hear before its officially release date and, while it was amazing to get my hands on brand new Nine Inch Nails music A WHOLE WEEK BEFORE IT CAME OUT, something was lost, never to return. No more waiting with fans for that midnight release, no more scouring the basements of weird little record shops, looking for the UK import...no, not the Japanese import, the UK import...
Halo 20 (Only) - By this point, going to record stores was a thing of the past. Why would I actually leave my apartment to look for something that might or might not even be there?
Exactly.
No reason.
Amazon brought each of these (CD and vinyl) to my doorstep, and I didn't even care.
Halo 21 (Every Day Is Exactly The Same) - Got this at the Best Buy on 86th Street and Lexington.
*sigh*
Before that space was a Best Buy, it was an HMV. It had listening rooms, a huge collection of import albums and singles and now it's a Best Buy.
Halo 22 (Beside You In Time) - I bought a 5.1 set up primarily because Trent Reznor said it was the best way to experience And All That Could Have Been. And, following that trend, I bought an HDTV because this came out on Blu Ray. Yes, I owned a PS3, but you don't need an HDTV to use a PS3, just to fully enjoy it.
I also bought both the DVD and Blu Ray versions, because, while the DVD had the cool packaging, the Blu Ray had the Year Zero ARG clue.
Which was important to have.
Halo 23 (Survivalism) - As sort of a push back against the ease with which I had obtained the last few halos, I decided to make this a bit more interesting for myself, more of a ritual like I used to; so I set out into the West Village and found a tiny record store that also happened to have CDs. I asked if they had this on vinyl and, after telling me they did and bringing me a copy, the guy behind the counter said, "We have the album too, if you want it."
So I bought it.
This was the Thursday before Year Zero was to come out and I felt so fucking cool to have my hands on the actual album before its release. Of course I'd had the album on my iPod for the past week or so, this is the future we're living in, but I did not have the artwork or lyrics (which were key to fully comprehending the album and its context in the ARG that had been going on for months beforehand).
Tragically, this was the last time I had to do more than click a few buttons on my computer or stop into the local Best Buy in order to obtain new Nine Inch Nails releases, always after I'd had the actual music for several days already. I'll continue to do so as I hope Reznor continues to put effort into releasing interesting packaging and artwork with his music.
Halo 24 (Year Zero) - See above.
Halo 25 (Year Zero Remixed) - Ordered off nin.com. Click.
Halo 26 (Ghosts I-IV) - Ordered the deluxe edition off nin.com. Although, I can't express how absolutely stunned I was when, one day, I opened up nin.com to find this just sitting there. I love nothing more than for my favorite bands to surprise me and, holy fuck, did this do the job.
Aside from NIN (and, more recently, Beck, with his random little 12" releases) I've never had this, and, again, cannot stress how much I appreciate it.
Halo 27 (The Slip) - My wife and our two friends, Barrett Hiatt (also known as Halo33 on the Ninternet***) and his wife, Micol Raab, had decided to film a video for "30 Ghosts IV".****
After we'd wrapped, my wife and I went home and, about to go to bed after a long, hand day of filming, i decided to check nin.com, you know, for things.
I called Barrett and asked if he'd seen nin.com recently.
He said he had not.
I suggested he do so.
Trent, you're the best Dad a kid could ever want! <3 <3 <3
Halo 28 (Hesitation Marks) - Fuck you, modlife.
As of this moment, the official Nine Inch Nails tour***** has begun, and, aside from that tiny clip that was posed on the NIN Instagram a week or so ago, I know nothing about it.
I'm seeing them on the 14th in Brooklyn and the 15th in New Jersey and this will be the first time I've seen them since 2000 where I have absolutely no idea what to expect.
I know they might play "All Time Low", and that is all......well...I suppose that's not really true...
I'm assuming they're going to play "Terrible Lie", "Head Like A Hole", "March of the Pigs (replete with Ally panting like a thirsty dog), "The Hand That Feeds", "Wish" "Gave Up" and "Survivalism".
Hoping they don't, but assuming they will.
But, on the subject of the new line up...I'm not 100% sure how much I love the idea of the gospel choir back up singers.
Backup singers? Sure, go nuts.
Female backup singers? Totally, that could add a lot of dimension and depth to NIN live performance.
But those gospel voices are so...specific.
They also feel pretty 90's too. And 80's. And 70's.
I don't know, I don't think I'm being too precious about it, I was totally fine with the female backup vocals on The Fragile but they were in the mix, not front and center with Reznor's vocals.
And they weren't gospel singers.
Anyway, like I said, all of this has been gleaned from a twelve second video clip of some rehearsal footage and this might amount to nothing...I hope.
While I'm very interested to see what these new folks will be adding o the mix, I'm not looking for a rousing Southern Baptist rendition of "Wish".
Or "Hurt".
Or...well, of any Nine Inch Nails song, actually.
Fingers crossed on this one.
They Might Be Giants
Well, a few days after the start of September, I received the final two vinyl EPs from the 2012 Instant Fan Club.
And I am massively disappointed.
While I truly feel as though I have gotten more than $250 worth of goods and services from the IFC (including exclusive music and merch, signed copies of Nanobots, and, of course, my personalized ringtone (which features Flansburgh singing MY NAME and telling me to wake up, implying that I tend to sleep through my cell phone ringing, which I do...), I probably would have rather not gotten this last set of vinyls. One was described (months and months ago, when Flans first announced them) as a children's EP and the other "the first solo release from The Avatars of They" (sock puppets that the Johns use in concert to kill ten or fifteen minutes). Although I don't really care about TMBG children's music, new, exclusive They Might Be Giants music is new and exclusive They Might Be Giants music.
The tracklist of the children's vinyl includes four songs, all previously released (through iTunes or TMBG podcasts or their TMBG Unlimited service from the 90's) and attainable if one has ten minutes and the Internet.
The Avatars EP has three previously released tracks, all available in the last year or so from TMBG's site or podcast and then...one...new...track, which is almost catchy.
Guys, I know you're busy and that, as the IFC got on, that this whole making-new-music-on-a-deadline-for-people-who-already-paid-over-a-year-ago thing probably got way old, but, you guys also originated Dial-A-Song, which had something like a new song every day for something like a decade; with that in mind, were eight new songs that hard to come up with?
And what happened to that Tres Might Be Giants project?
That awesome cover of "I Was Dancing In A Lesbian Bar"?
Anyway, like I said, I feel that my $250 were more than well spent and I happily pony up that much for whatever you have up your sleeves for the 2013 (or maybe just 2014?) IFC, but this leaves things on a bitter note.
Beck
That rascal went and released another new song, but this time...there's something different...
Instead of releasing a 12" vinyl with a short version and a long version, he released a double 12" with a short version and its instrumental on side A, a ten minute "remix" on side B and then, on sides C and D...the whole song...all 24 plus minutes of it.
Yes.
I would say this is self indulgent, but it isn't. A fifteen minutes version would be self indulgent, a twenty four minute version is fucking hilarious.
He's upping his ante...
Anyway, the song is called "Gimme"and I dig it.
It's...weird and fun.
Here are my real-time thoughts on my first listens to the Georgic remix:
Floaty, open and ethereal.
I sometimes enjoy a huge remix if there's growth and expansion.
A gravely little beat comes in, but softly, almost as if it's not there.
This always seems to be ending.
Really nice harp.
Or "harp", this is Beck.
Starts to feel very LittleBig Planet, makes me wonder of any of this was intended for Sound Shapes.
Ends with footsteps walking off.
Most subtle remix I've heard in a while.
Not amazing, but light and refreshing.
Don't know how often I'll be listening to this, but, when I do, I'm going to enjoy it.
Or get sleepy.
And my real-time thoughts on the full, twenty four minute version.
Joyous explosion of marimba! Then right into song.
Beck is a marimba FIEND.
When I hear a twenty four minute Beck song, I want at least three different locations.
Or, a better way to put it: I want the same house, but different rooms; "Defriended" did not deliver that, but "I Won't Be Long" did. Three or four minutes in and "Gimme" is already delivering.
It does feel quite jam-y, but in a fun way.
Some new lyrics and intonations, then, about ten minutes in, Beck becomes a steam engine.
After that, things become crystal yoga.
quick trip to church then we're playing pinball with those marimbas from before.
Some bits remind me of an old DFA remix of Nine Inch Nails' "The Hand That Feeds", although that's probably just the abundance of marimbas.
After a bit more play, things get serious and stellar and then, just drift off into space...
This could be a tour of a Beck-themed amusement park.
So, thus far, I'm liking "I Won't Be Long" more than "Gimme" and a lot more than "Defriended".
Only ten more of these 12" singles before we get that brand new Beck album!!!!
Keep it up, you fucking maniac.
On September 27th, I saw Atoms For Peace at the Barclays Center in Brooklyn.
In a nutshell, the band was great, like a fucking machine, especially...well, no, everyone was amazing. Flea had the energy of a 13-year old, Thom Yorke was flailing around like one of those wacky, waving arm things, both Joey Waronker and Mauro Refosco were CORRECT with their beats, like funky clocks, and, dude, Nigel Godrich.
All in all, the setlist was a great representation of Yorke's two albums, plus a song by UNKEL and Radiohead as well as an AFP b-side. I would have enjoyed hearing "Analyse" and "Judge, Jury and Executioner", but the whole thing was rock solid. Highlights for me included "Default" (enjoyed the live arrangement, but that album version still wins everything), "And It Rained All Night" and "Black Swan".
The audience lost their shit after "Harrowdown Hill", "Skip Divided" was a creepy nightmare and "Amok" was epic.
As for their visual presentation...hm.
So, I kind of consider Thom Yorke and Trent Reznor in the same ballpark as far as innovation and musicality and all that, but Yorke is just not bringing it when it comes to the spectacle.
The entire light show consisted of a huge wall with crooked, horizontal LED "cracks" in it. Sometimes the lights were blue, sometime they were red, sometimes they were solid, sometimes they were broken.
And sometimes there were tiny, little panels scattered around the cracks that flickered or flashed or both.
Compared to what Nine Inch Nails has been doing live for years now, this was just not impressive and certainly not worth the eighty or so dollars we spent on this show.
Plus, a t-shirt was forty five dollars.
For about the same amount, I'm going to have my face melted by Reznor and his collection of reprobates in about two weeks.
Might recount that experience.
My bitching aside though, if you dug either of Yorke's solo albums, you should see Atoms For Peace, they are a great band with forgettable visuals, but that shouldn't matter when it comes to the music.
And, that's it.
As I've mentioned, I'm seeing Nine Inch Nails twice in the next two weeks and I'll probably have something negative to say about that in a month.
See you then.
* You know, that "perfect" copy with the first and last ten seconds missing and with the MTV logo all over it and that promo for "MTV's Oddities! Tonight at 9pm!" scrolling through twice..
** This was before I knew who Edward Gorey was.
*** Shut up, it's a real thing. As real as "NINfluenza" anyway.
**** Aside from the lack of a better camera, we're all actually pretty proud of the results. Here it is, if you're interested- "30 Ghosts IV"
***** !!!TENSION!!! ******
****** Okay, I was able to pinpoint my dislike of this silly, silly subtitle; first off, there aren't any tracks on the album that are called "Tension", nor are there any that have the word "tension" as a lyric. Every NIN tour up to this point has made sense: "Hate 90", while a bit overdramatic, referred to the title of the album it was supporting, "the Self Destruct tour" not only lived up to what was going on on stage, but also referred to a song from the album and the theme of the album itself, the Fragility tours reflected both the album and its title, "Live: With Teeth" was the band playing songs from the album With Teeth...live, "Lights In The Sky" was a song from the album the tour was supporting, referred to themes from the last few albums AND featured actual lights in the sky, "Wave Goodbye"...you know, I'm not even going to bother with that one, but, "Tension"? Unless there is actual tension on stage...maybe between Alessandro and Trent because, no matter how many times he asks him not to do it, Ally still does that weird panting thing during "March of the Pigs" or Trent, Adrian Belew and Eric Avery for joining and then leaving the touring line up or maybe the two female gospel singers are going to make out and create sexual tension...I don't fucking know, it just sounds silly as all get out and I'm having a real hard time thinking about buying any tour shirts because then I'll be walking around in public with the word "TENSION" all over my torso...as well as teeth. There are a lot of teeth featured in this tour's merchandise.
I'll report back on whether or not there is actual tension next month, after I've seen the show.
Who knows, maybe my first words after the end of the show will be, "Man was that ever tense."
In honor of the official release of a brand new "halo" at the start of the month, I thought I would take a ramble down memory lane with regards to the previous twenty seven halos.
Halo 1 (Down In It) - What a disappointing start. I can't recall just where I found this. I remember listening to the handful of "Down In It" remixes and not really caring. Or not getting the subtleties. I know this was obtained around my introduction to NIN and that I was hungry for new NIN, not a bunch of remixes of a song I didn't really care about.
Halo 2 (Pretty Hate Machine) - Another complete blank. I remember listening to only "Head Like A Hole", "Terrible Lie", "Something I Can Never Have", "The Only Time" and "Ringfinger" when I first got this, and, today, while I understand how important this album was at the time, for music, both industrial and in general, it's still not my favorite.
Halo 3 (Head Like A Hole) - Same as Down In It, although I did dig some of these remixes. And that random instrumental? And that weird little sound clip at the end? One thing I will say: the Opal remix of "Head Like A Hole" is EXACTLY was I look for in a remix: a total reconstruction with connections to the original, an exploration and rediscovery of the original.
And a Prince sample.
I also always look for a Prince sample.
Halo 4 (Sin) - In 8th grade, my class took a trip to Boston. While there, we went to Quincy Marketplace. As my friends and I were in the clutches of NIN Fever (or NINfluenza), we found our way to The Wall, which, when compared to the glut of Best Buys that covered the Floridian landscape like pustules on an ass, was the most Indie music store any of us had EVER seen. While there, we came across a double pack of the French import versions of both Sin and Fixed. Wide-eyed, I made my purchase...
Halo 5 (Broken) - I got deep into Nine Inch Nails during my time in Florida (the six years from 1994 to 1999) and, during that time, I purchased most of their most easily attainable catalog from mega-chain stores, such as Best Buy. Pretty sure that's where I got my copy of Broken. I remember actually being startled when "Physical" started, as there was no Internet and therefore no way for me to know about those "hidden" tracks. I remember thinking something was wrong when I first heard that growl coming out of my speakers.
Halo 6 (Fixed) - So eager were my friends and I to hear this counterpart to Broken, that one of my friends, Matt Vander Maten, bought a set of those shitty speakers that plug into your Discman so we could listen immediately, in our shared hotel room. About...I don't know...a minute or so into the first track, the speakers, literally, exploded. There was a pop, a hiss, a whiff of smoke and that was the end of our impromptu Fixed listening party. While we were all bummed that we couldn't listen to the album right then, we were thrilled that we now possessed music that had the ability to actually destroy a set of speakers.
Halo 7 (March of the Pigs) - Yet another blank, odd considering the really solid remixes on here. Maybe my mind has been tampered with...
Halo 8 (The Downward Spiral) - My first halo, which I received for Christmas, 1994. It also happened to be one of the first two CDs I ever got (the other being Green Day's Dookie, which, since it also had fourteen tracks, planted the idea that all albums should have fourteen tracks and, to this day, albums with less feel light, while those with more feel fuller). When I first listened to the album, I would skip a lot of it, playing the hits more than anything else. Eventually, that changed and I would begin adding more and more tracks to the program (remember programming CD playlists on your stereo?). An odd occurrence that I'm just remembering now: over the years, I have owned three copies of TDS on CD (although I only really played the shit out of the first two copies, the third was the deluxe edition, purchased after the rise and reign of the mp3), and both copies developed a skip right around the build up of "Eraser". That was also the point at which I most often fell asleep while listening to the album if I happened to put it on while going to bed or on a long car ride. I also remember never being able to get all the artwork and that slimline back in the sleeve properly.
Halo 9 (Closer) - As was my practice while in Florida, I would always look for the "Import Single" section of every music store I went into. It's here, at the Coconuts Music in Altamonte Springs where I found the digipak of Closer, which, although it had space for two discs, only contained one. I did not understand either the madness of Gary Talpas or the greed of overseas record companies and had never seen packaging like this before, so I obviously thought something was wrong and went back in to complain about the "missing disc".
I showed my purchase to the clerk and, thanks to both my ignorance and his, he went into the back and found the slimline case containing disc two, thinking (as I did) that my packaging (perhaps some deluxe version?) was, indeed, missing its second disc.
It was later that I discovered that I had not been swindled (not by Coconuts at least) and that there was a second disc that came separately.
SUCK IT, ISLAND RECORDS!
Halo 10 (Further Down The Spiral) - This was another Best Buy purchase, but, with a twist. As I stood there, holding two copies of this in my hand, I noticed some differences...namely that one was in your typical jewel case, while the other was in some sort of digipak. Odd. Then, I flipped them over and did some scrutinizing. What? "The Art of Self Destruction...part three"? "Hurt...live"? To this day, I have no fucking idea how a Best Buy in Longwood, Florida got the UK import of FDTS.
Halo 11 (The Perfect Drug) - Oh my fucking shit was I excited about this. I loved the new, non-TDS artwork on this but was just as oh-my-fucking-shit crushed by the lack of an album version of the original. I think I found this at the Blockbuster Music right outside the, yes, you guessed it, Altamonte Mall.
Hated that Orb remix, still do.
And, call me crazy, but is this the last halo to have a NIN remix of a NIN song on it?
If so, that is fucking bullshit.
Halo 12 (Closure) - Yet another "Holy shit! Way to go, Best Buy!" moment. I don't know why I was looking at the "Music Video" section (I never did) or how this caught my eye among the other video cassettes; I had no fucking idea this even existed, let alone what it looked like. My very first thought was that it was fake (they'd even misspelled "Closer"), although, what a fake Nine Inch Nails double-video cassette would be doing in a Best Buy...? My thinking didn't get that far. I bought it. As it turns out, I was on my way to role play (White Wolf, none of that geeky D&D shit) and I spent the whole fucking time grinding my teeth and wishing I was watching this. This was around the height of my obsession with Nine Inch Nails and, yes, I did think of asking to use their VCR for a few moments, just to see and understand what this thing was. You must remember that, when this came out, there was no way to see a HD version of any NIN video, forget fucking "Sin" or "Gave Up". The first time I put this in was the first time I was seeing a lot of these videos in their proper form. I recall watching endless hours of MTV with the VCR ready to go, hoping that they would play "The Perfect Drug" (my absolutely favorite NIN video and song), and when they did, and I got that "perfect" copy*, watching it over and over and over, pausing it, going through it frame by frame, trying to understand what was happening, to understand the story of the video.** I thought up narratives for the character Reznor played in that video, man...
In other words: you damn kids and your YouTube.
Also, release Closure on fucking Blu Ray. You can't tell, but I'm pressing a fifty dollar bill against my screen.
Halo 13 (The Day The World Went Away) - The first Nine Inch Nails music from a new album in five years and the last Nine Inch Nails music I would buy in the state of Florida. Can't remember if it was Camelot or Sam Goody, but it was yet another of those forgettable music chain stores, all of which are now gone, where I bought this. I was with a girl named Brooke and it was my last summer before I returned to New York City for college. We listened to the first two tracks in her truck while she drove me home as they had both been played on the radio, however, I wanted the "Quiet" version all to myself and my headphones. I had made a tape off the radio of "The Day The World Went Away" and "Star****ers, Inc.", just those two songs, and would listen to nothing but that. Until this came out, of course. The first time I heard "The Day The World Went Away (Quiet)" I cried. Then I started the CD over again. I have never been more obsessed with any fifteen minutes of music in my life.
Halo 14 (The Fragile) - One of the most exciting moments of my life. I went to the midnight release at the Times Square Virgin Megastore (where I also picked up To Venus and Back...which I didn't even open for about a month) then rushed back to my dorm and listened to this for...let me see...14 years.
Like some folks, I thought that one disc was to be all instrumentals and the other was to be all vocals and was very happy to see that was not the case.
I'm almost unable to focus on this because it's just too big...hearing "La Mer" into "The Great Below" into "The Way Out Is Through" for the first time, the connection shared by "The Fragile" and "The Frail", that instant love affair with "Into The Void", seeing "The Day The World Went Away" in context, the amazing Carson artwork, the harmonies...Jesus.
I would play selections of this for anyone even remotely willing to listen and the entire thing for anyone slightly more than remotely willing to listen.
I tried to write plays based on several songs (I was a Theater major) and convince directors who cast me to use tracks from the album in their shows, just to be able to sit in a room and hear the new Nine Inch Nails on something other than my headphones or my stereo or my computer.
I could not get this loud enough or be close enough to this music.
The Fragile was my life for several years, and, honestly, it still kind of is.
So, when you see my bitching about Reznor not releasing the deluxe / 5.1 / ultimate / amazing blowjob version of this that he's been teasing since the mid-2000's , I hope you have a bit more of an understanding as to why it's more than the consumer in me gnashing its teeth.
Shit.
I wish I wasn't feeling so inarticulate today or I'd drown you in information you don't really care about.
Halo 15 (We're In This Together) - I clearly recall trawling every music store in New York City for these fucking things. I also remember my blistering disappointment with the orange one; you know it, the one with the radio edit of "We're In This Together", the "Quiet" remix of TDTWWA which I'd had and been listening to for, literally, months, and the stunningly awful Porter Ricks remix of TDTWWA, which is, essentially, a steady, unchanging drum beat running at a different BMP than the original song, elements of which one can kind of hear, soft and distant, in the left channel. This goes up there was one of the worst Nine Inch Nails remixes ever, perhaps only bested (or...worsted?) by Olaf Lazyass's remix of "Me, I'm Not", but, never mind...
The other two parts (which I found here and there, Virgin Megastore, HMV, etc.), were pure gold in comparison, one of which contained two brand new tracks from The Fragile...unless you owned the album on vinyl, which, at the time, I did not.
However, while all these tracks couldn't have been released in one place, on one disc, is a mystery...a mystery which, I deduce, could be solved by corporate greed.
Halo 16 (Things Falling Apart) - Another midnight release at the Times Square Virgin Megastore, although this one was a bit less packed and had a lot less fanfare. I remember they gave those who bought the album a sort of official, bootleg NIN shirt...it was white with a neon pink and green NIN logo and something about MTV on the back...maybe TRL?
Fucked if I know.
I actually threw it out.
Halo 17 (And All That Could Have Been) - Fragility v 2.0 was my first NIN show (I had missed Self Destruct by a day when I was living in Florida) and I was in the pit in Philadelphia.
Fuck the pit in Philadelphia.
Fuck the pit in general.
I was expecting the scrim with the projections from Fragility v 1.0, so when those fucking panels came down...my jaw actually dropped.
And then I got out of the pit because, as I think I may have mentioned, fuck the pit.
When AATCHB was announced, I was only concerned with Still.
There was a screening party for the DVD at some goth club in Manhattan and I went and patiently sat through the performance, anything to kill time before new, Fragile-related Nine Inch Nails music.
The day it came out, I headed to the Virgin Megastore Times Square to get my copy of the deluxe version and then I went right back outside to stand in line to meet Trent Reznor, Danny Lohner and Jerome Dillon and have them sign my stuff later that day.
Long story short, when I finally got to him, a smiling, bearded Trent Reznor, I wanted to tell him about my favorite song from The Fragile and ask about how he'd created it and what it meant to him and what it meant to me, but, thanks to the Virgin Megastore's decision to BLAST the live album AS LOUD AS THE IN STORE SPEAKERS COULD, I was only able to yell something about how cool I thought the album was before he smiled and stuck out his hand.
My time with Trent Reznor was done.
Ah. Golden memories.
Fuck the pit.
Halo 18 (The Hand That Feeds) - Probably the second most expectant I have ever been for a new NIN release. I knew there was no way this new album could be as good as The Fragile...it was only one disc, how could it be? But that doesn't mean I wasn't going out of my mind for brand new Nine Inch Nails music. The very first time I heard "The Hand That Feeds", it was just as Trent Reznor had suspected and in exactly the fashion he was afraid I might hear it in: a blurry recording of some leaked copy that was stolen from the set of the original music video shoot. Also, somehow, it was sped up. Maybe the original was a shitty vinyl rip? Whatever the case, my very first thought was: "Is this a joke?"
As soon as this entered my mind, I knew it to be the case.
Here's what happened: Reznor knew about the expectation leading up to With Teeth, the first NIN album in six years and was going to pull one over on us. So, he recorded and "leaked" this shitty copy of this shitty song that was easy and simple and boring. Oh Trent, you rascal. Once my brain walked in and dickslapped me, I realized, with great disappointment, that this was, indeed, the first single off the brand new Nine Inch Nails album that was meant to follow The Fragile. I was ready for this not to be "The Day The World Went Away", but this? This?
This was also the final halo I purchased at the late, great Virgin Megastore in Times Square, specifically the vinyl 10" with one of those goddamn awful DFA remixes on it. Yeech.
Although that transparent CD was pretty cool.
Halo 19 (With Teeth) - The next tracks I heard off of WT were "The Line Begins To Blur" which made me hopeful and then, about two or three days before the album itself leaked, "Getting Smaller", which made me confused. As for the album itself, nothing special, Best Buy, I think.
This was the first Nine Inch Nails album I was to hear before its officially release date and, while it was amazing to get my hands on brand new Nine Inch Nails music A WHOLE WEEK BEFORE IT CAME OUT, something was lost, never to return. No more waiting with fans for that midnight release, no more scouring the basements of weird little record shops, looking for the UK import...no, not the Japanese import, the UK import...
Halo 20 (Only) - By this point, going to record stores was a thing of the past. Why would I actually leave my apartment to look for something that might or might not even be there?
Exactly.
No reason.
Amazon brought each of these (CD and vinyl) to my doorstep, and I didn't even care.
Halo 21 (Every Day Is Exactly The Same) - Got this at the Best Buy on 86th Street and Lexington.
*sigh*
Before that space was a Best Buy, it was an HMV. It had listening rooms, a huge collection of import albums and singles and now it's a Best Buy.
Halo 22 (Beside You In Time) - I bought a 5.1 set up primarily because Trent Reznor said it was the best way to experience And All That Could Have Been. And, following that trend, I bought an HDTV because this came out on Blu Ray. Yes, I owned a PS3, but you don't need an HDTV to use a PS3, just to fully enjoy it.
I also bought both the DVD and Blu Ray versions, because, while the DVD had the cool packaging, the Blu Ray had the Year Zero ARG clue.
Which was important to have.
Halo 23 (Survivalism) - As sort of a push back against the ease with which I had obtained the last few halos, I decided to make this a bit more interesting for myself, more of a ritual like I used to; so I set out into the West Village and found a tiny record store that also happened to have CDs. I asked if they had this on vinyl and, after telling me they did and bringing me a copy, the guy behind the counter said, "We have the album too, if you want it."
So I bought it.
This was the Thursday before Year Zero was to come out and I felt so fucking cool to have my hands on the actual album before its release. Of course I'd had the album on my iPod for the past week or so, this is the future we're living in, but I did not have the artwork or lyrics (which were key to fully comprehending the album and its context in the ARG that had been going on for months beforehand).
Tragically, this was the last time I had to do more than click a few buttons on my computer or stop into the local Best Buy in order to obtain new Nine Inch Nails releases, always after I'd had the actual music for several days already. I'll continue to do so as I hope Reznor continues to put effort into releasing interesting packaging and artwork with his music.
Halo 24 (Year Zero) - See above.
Halo 25 (Year Zero Remixed) - Ordered off nin.com. Click.
Halo 26 (Ghosts I-IV) - Ordered the deluxe edition off nin.com. Although, I can't express how absolutely stunned I was when, one day, I opened up nin.com to find this just sitting there. I love nothing more than for my favorite bands to surprise me and, holy fuck, did this do the job.
Aside from NIN (and, more recently, Beck, with his random little 12" releases) I've never had this, and, again, cannot stress how much I appreciate it.
Halo 27 (The Slip) - My wife and our two friends, Barrett Hiatt (also known as Halo33 on the Ninternet***) and his wife, Micol Raab, had decided to film a video for "30 Ghosts IV".****
After we'd wrapped, my wife and I went home and, about to go to bed after a long, hand day of filming, i decided to check nin.com, you know, for things.
I called Barrett and asked if he'd seen nin.com recently.
He said he had not.
I suggested he do so.
Trent, you're the best Dad a kid could ever want! <3 <3 <3
Halo 28 (Hesitation Marks) - Fuck you, modlife.
As of this moment, the official Nine Inch Nails tour***** has begun, and, aside from that tiny clip that was posed on the NIN Instagram a week or so ago, I know nothing about it.
I'm seeing them on the 14th in Brooklyn and the 15th in New Jersey and this will be the first time I've seen them since 2000 where I have absolutely no idea what to expect.
I know they might play "All Time Low", and that is all......well...I suppose that's not really true...
I'm assuming they're going to play "Terrible Lie", "Head Like A Hole", "March of the Pigs (replete with Ally panting like a thirsty dog), "The Hand That Feeds", "Wish" "Gave Up" and "Survivalism".
Hoping they don't, but assuming they will.
But, on the subject of the new line up...I'm not 100% sure how much I love the idea of the gospel choir back up singers.
Backup singers? Sure, go nuts.
Female backup singers? Totally, that could add a lot of dimension and depth to NIN live performance.
But those gospel voices are so...specific.
They also feel pretty 90's too. And 80's. And 70's.
I don't know, I don't think I'm being too precious about it, I was totally fine with the female backup vocals on The Fragile but they were in the mix, not front and center with Reznor's vocals.
And they weren't gospel singers.
Anyway, like I said, all of this has been gleaned from a twelve second video clip of some rehearsal footage and this might amount to nothing...I hope.
While I'm very interested to see what these new folks will be adding o the mix, I'm not looking for a rousing Southern Baptist rendition of "Wish".
Or "Hurt".
Or...well, of any Nine Inch Nails song, actually.
Fingers crossed on this one.
They Might Be Giants
Well, a few days after the start of September, I received the final two vinyl EPs from the 2012 Instant Fan Club.
And I am massively disappointed.
While I truly feel as though I have gotten more than $250 worth of goods and services from the IFC (including exclusive music and merch, signed copies of Nanobots, and, of course, my personalized ringtone (which features Flansburgh singing MY NAME and telling me to wake up, implying that I tend to sleep through my cell phone ringing, which I do...), I probably would have rather not gotten this last set of vinyls. One was described (months and months ago, when Flans first announced them) as a children's EP and the other "the first solo release from The Avatars of They" (sock puppets that the Johns use in concert to kill ten or fifteen minutes). Although I don't really care about TMBG children's music, new, exclusive They Might Be Giants music is new and exclusive They Might Be Giants music.
The tracklist of the children's vinyl includes four songs, all previously released (through iTunes or TMBG podcasts or their TMBG Unlimited service from the 90's) and attainable if one has ten minutes and the Internet.
The Avatars EP has three previously released tracks, all available in the last year or so from TMBG's site or podcast and then...one...new...track, which is almost catchy.
Guys, I know you're busy and that, as the IFC got on, that this whole making-new-music-on-a-deadline-for-people-who-already-paid-over-a-year-ago thing probably got way old, but, you guys also originated Dial-A-Song, which had something like a new song every day for something like a decade; with that in mind, were eight new songs that hard to come up with?
And what happened to that Tres Might Be Giants project?
That awesome cover of "I Was Dancing In A Lesbian Bar"?
Anyway, like I said, I feel that my $250 were more than well spent and I happily pony up that much for whatever you have up your sleeves for the 2013 (or maybe just 2014?) IFC, but this leaves things on a bitter note.
Beck
That rascal went and released another new song, but this time...there's something different...
Instead of releasing a 12" vinyl with a short version and a long version, he released a double 12" with a short version and its instrumental on side A, a ten minute "remix" on side B and then, on sides C and D...the whole song...all 24 plus minutes of it.
Yes.
I would say this is self indulgent, but it isn't. A fifteen minutes version would be self indulgent, a twenty four minute version is fucking hilarious.
He's upping his ante...
Anyway, the song is called "Gimme"and I dig it.
It's...weird and fun.
Here are my real-time thoughts on my first listens to the Georgic remix:
Floaty, open and ethereal.
I sometimes enjoy a huge remix if there's growth and expansion.
A gravely little beat comes in, but softly, almost as if it's not there.
This always seems to be ending.
Really nice harp.
Or "harp", this is Beck.
Starts to feel very LittleBig Planet, makes me wonder of any of this was intended for Sound Shapes.
Ends with footsteps walking off.
Most subtle remix I've heard in a while.
Not amazing, but light and refreshing.
Don't know how often I'll be listening to this, but, when I do, I'm going to enjoy it.
Or get sleepy.
And my real-time thoughts on the full, twenty four minute version.
Joyous explosion of marimba! Then right into song.
Beck is a marimba FIEND.
When I hear a twenty four minute Beck song, I want at least three different locations.
Or, a better way to put it: I want the same house, but different rooms; "Defriended" did not deliver that, but "I Won't Be Long" did. Three or four minutes in and "Gimme" is already delivering.
It does feel quite jam-y, but in a fun way.
Some new lyrics and intonations, then, about ten minutes in, Beck becomes a steam engine.
After that, things become crystal yoga.
quick trip to church then we're playing pinball with those marimbas from before.
Some bits remind me of an old DFA remix of Nine Inch Nails' "The Hand That Feeds", although that's probably just the abundance of marimbas.
After a bit more play, things get serious and stellar and then, just drift off into space...
This could be a tour of a Beck-themed amusement park.
So, thus far, I'm liking "I Won't Be Long" more than "Gimme" and a lot more than "Defriended".
Only ten more of these 12" singles before we get that brand new Beck album!!!!
Keep it up, you fucking maniac.
On September 27th, I saw Atoms For Peace at the Barclays Center in Brooklyn.
In a nutshell, the band was great, like a fucking machine, especially...well, no, everyone was amazing. Flea had the energy of a 13-year old, Thom Yorke was flailing around like one of those wacky, waving arm things, both Joey Waronker and Mauro Refosco were CORRECT with their beats, like funky clocks, and, dude, Nigel Godrich.
All in all, the setlist was a great representation of Yorke's two albums, plus a song by UNKEL and Radiohead as well as an AFP b-side. I would have enjoyed hearing "Analyse" and "Judge, Jury and Executioner", but the whole thing was rock solid. Highlights for me included "Default" (enjoyed the live arrangement, but that album version still wins everything), "And It Rained All Night" and "Black Swan".
The audience lost their shit after "Harrowdown Hill", "Skip Divided" was a creepy nightmare and "Amok" was epic.
As for their visual presentation...hm.
So, I kind of consider Thom Yorke and Trent Reznor in the same ballpark as far as innovation and musicality and all that, but Yorke is just not bringing it when it comes to the spectacle.
The entire light show consisted of a huge wall with crooked, horizontal LED "cracks" in it. Sometimes the lights were blue, sometime they were red, sometimes they were solid, sometimes they were broken.
And sometimes there were tiny, little panels scattered around the cracks that flickered or flashed or both.
Compared to what Nine Inch Nails has been doing live for years now, this was just not impressive and certainly not worth the eighty or so dollars we spent on this show.
Plus, a t-shirt was forty five dollars.
For about the same amount, I'm going to have my face melted by Reznor and his collection of reprobates in about two weeks.
Might recount that experience.
My bitching aside though, if you dug either of Yorke's solo albums, you should see Atoms For Peace, they are a great band with forgettable visuals, but that shouldn't matter when it comes to the music.
And, that's it.
As I've mentioned, I'm seeing Nine Inch Nails twice in the next two weeks and I'll probably have something negative to say about that in a month.
See you then.
* You know, that "perfect" copy with the first and last ten seconds missing and with the MTV logo all over it and that promo for "MTV's Oddities! Tonight at 9pm!" scrolling through twice..
** This was before I knew who Edward Gorey was.
*** Shut up, it's a real thing. As real as "NINfluenza" anyway.
**** Aside from the lack of a better camera, we're all actually pretty proud of the results. Here it is, if you're interested- "30 Ghosts IV"
***** !!!TENSION!!! ******
****** Okay, I was able to pinpoint my dislike of this silly, silly subtitle; first off, there aren't any tracks on the album that are called "Tension", nor are there any that have the word "tension" as a lyric. Every NIN tour up to this point has made sense: "Hate 90", while a bit overdramatic, referred to the title of the album it was supporting, "the Self Destruct tour" not only lived up to what was going on on stage, but also referred to a song from the album and the theme of the album itself, the Fragility tours reflected both the album and its title, "Live: With Teeth" was the band playing songs from the album With Teeth...live, "Lights In The Sky" was a song from the album the tour was supporting, referred to themes from the last few albums AND featured actual lights in the sky, "Wave Goodbye"...you know, I'm not even going to bother with that one, but, "Tension"? Unless there is actual tension on stage...maybe between Alessandro and Trent because, no matter how many times he asks him not to do it, Ally still does that weird panting thing during "March of the Pigs" or Trent, Adrian Belew and Eric Avery for joining and then leaving the touring line up or maybe the two female gospel singers are going to make out and create sexual tension...I don't fucking know, it just sounds silly as all get out and I'm having a real hard time thinking about buying any tour shirts because then I'll be walking around in public with the word "TENSION" all over my torso...as well as teeth. There are a lot of teeth featured in this tour's merchandise.
I'll report back on whether or not there is actual tension next month, after I've seen the show.
Who knows, maybe my first words after the end of the show will be, "Man was that ever tense."
9.25.2013
Playing Catch Up
First and foremost, just last week, the right Reverend Philip Tucker came to town for some job thing and I ended up tagging along to help him inform college students at Adelphi about studying abroad in Spanish speaking countries.
After watching him do it a few times, I was a natural and only mentioned starting a Machete Fight Club twice.
It helped that Philip knew virtually nothing about what he was talking about either. We were, hands down, the most attractive men in the room.
Did NOT manage to get any hot, college pussow though.
Maybe next time.
During his time here, I finally sat that swarthy fuck down and interviewed him for my podcast (quite a romp) and showed him the glory that is Telltale's Walking Dead game while eating 25 samosas.
Chris and I will be heading to Massachusetts in a week or so to hang out on HIS turf with his lovely wife and demonic fox dog, Simon.
And, perhaps, to play another game of Werewolf: The Apocalypse...
As I near the end of my first month of being a full time actor, things are still going pretty strong, booking VO stuff continuously and scoring my second on screen gig in a month thanks to my casting director friend, Tom, the same guy who cast me as Newton, the Death Metal Golfer for an MTV/Rock Band 2 spot several years ago. This time around, I played a "really tall guy".
You will not believe the nuance I bring.
I am happy to report that I am STILL not a jaded dick actor when it comes to being on set, as I still massively appreciate the free food and whatnot, although I am sad to report that not even MTV's best hair and make up people were able to improve upon the shimmering, shattering perfection that is me.
Some other acting victories include sitting in a posh studio, eating some of the best food I've ever had while listening to They Might be Giants' Nanobots on said studio's 7.1 because the client was taking a stupidly long time to give final approval on a spot we had just tweaked.
But I did not complain.
No.
Then there was the CSX session just this morning which was supposed to take three and a half hours, but which I wrapped up in bout twenty five minutes.
Because I am very, very good.
Along with the jobs people are paying me for are a few that I'm doing on my own, including a web series I'm developing with some friends and a music video I'll be directing for Adam Rivera.
More on those soon.
NOW, enough personal bullshit.
Let's talk media consumption.
I was worried that not having a set time to be at work every day would result in some kind of media freak out: shutting down and watching movies and TV while chewing through that stack of game I'd been amassing for the past several months. I am happy to say that has not happened exactly.
Sort of.
Thanks, once again, to Graham Skipper, I took in Guillermo del Toro's first film, a quirky horror movie called Cronos. It's features one of the most interesting vampire rule sets I've ever seen, sort of combining the vampire with the zombie. Ron Perlman is in it and has begun to look more like Hellboy than Ron Perlman to me.
I love Tito.
And, if you ever see this movie, you will too.
In the same vein* as the above, Chris and I checked out The Skin I Live In, which Chris said had blown her mind to the point where, when she saw it in the theater, she actually turned to the person she was with and said, out loud, "What the fuck?!"
I was less astonished.
At its heart, this is a revenge flick. Perhaps a revenge flick that goes further and gets darker than any revenge flick I've ever seen, but a revenge flick nonetheless.
Also (MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD), was anyone NOT surprised when Vera killed Robert the first chance she got?
Come on.
As Chris and I have decided to finally have a Twin Peaks themed Halloween party, we have been carving our way through the series. We just found out who killed Laura Palmer and now have only the 15 or so shitty, meandering episodes to look forward to.
It's not all bad though, we get to see David Duchovny in one of my favorite roles of his, as well as....uh....
Once the viewer discovers the secret of Laura's demise, they can watch Fire Walk With Me, a Lynch film that came out a year or so after the series that details the days leading up to Laura's death.
It also stars David Bowie and might or might not have him turn into a talking monkey.
I...am not kidding...
"I don't wanna talk...about Judy..."
While this seems to "explain" more about the Black Lodge**, it also seems to muddy the waters even more.
God damn it,
I love the concept of the Black Lodge, but everything is just so unclear...argh.
It's annoying to not have things spelled out for oneself from time to time, especially when I want them spelled out.
I also forgot that Kiefer Sutherland is in FWWM.
Good times.
Before launching into Twin Peaks, however, I'd had a hankering to rewatch Lost Highway and did so. That is still a great Lynch film, my favorite, in fact.
I used to think I had a handle on what was going on, and I did...until the last fifteen minutes or so.
See, I had thought that, if you just accept some basic truths about Pullman and Getty's characters and the nature of time that everything makes total sense.
I was wrong.
You win this one as well, David...
Henry Rollins nails it once again.
Did I mention that I finished Alphas?
Yeah.
You know, I knew, going in, that the series ended on a cliffhanger, but, come on guys, shit.
On September 12th, I watched all of Derek, the new Ricky Gervais show.
While I'm happy he's not rehashing The Office or Extras or Life's Too Short, I feel like the show was a bit too intentional. Yes, it was emotional and heartfelt and all that, but it felt too well planned.
Here's where the viewer will get weepy and here's where we make the tears fall. Now, a joke fro the gross, comic relief guy, now BANG more tears!
Can an argument be made that all shows go for the same effect? Sure, but, knowing Gervais' history and how smart he is, I felt his hand too heavily on Derek.
Major props to Karl Pilkington for utterly nailing this though. I'm glad Gervais stopped torturing the poor guy, although, I can't help feel that Gervais turned to him at one point and said something like, "You are my Derek."
AND SPEAKING OF NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES, Chris and I took in Hemlock Grove.
If Twilight is vampires and werewolves for idiot tweens and True Blood is vampires and werewolves for horny twenty somethings, Hemlock Grove is vampires and werewolves for faggy, art house junkies.
Who like funny accents.
I'm interested in seeing where this goes, although I feel that, while trying to walk that thin line between giving too much away and not explaining enough by the end of their first season that they sort of ended up on the latter side.
Whoooole lot of questions up in this bee hatch.
And a lot of dead folks.
BREAKING BAD.
I'd seen the whole show up to that hellish break in the final season and held off watching anything until yesterday, during which I watched the first five or so episodes of the final, final season.
God...the evolution...
One thing...even though they're doing some really great stuff, I'm hoping the cat and mouse game between those two people who are having a cat and mouse game ends soon.
The last episode I saw ended with an all out firefight between some folks*** and if everyone walks away from that unscathed I'll...well, I'll probably not care and scream until I've seen the whole show.
Man did shit gets fucked up or what...
What is television going to do after this show ends?
And, finally, I just finished watched the first episode of Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Pretty happy with it so far. A solid start.
My only problem is with Chloe Bennet, who plays Elisha Dushku-spore, "Skye".
In fact, I actually thought she was Dushku until, oh, four days ago?
It's my opinion that Dushku ruined Dollhouse (along with the fucks at Fox), and that Bennet is going to ruin this.
But.
Apparently, a lot of people are loving her, so, knowing Whedon, she's either going to die or be made legitimately cool.
As for Coulson and what he really is, I heard something somewhere that he would make a great Vision in the next Avengers movie and I think that is more than feasible.
What I want from this show is to further expand the universe of the films and this is a perfect opportunity to introduce and explain things without having to take up all that valuable big screen time doing so.
And also some Ultron teases.
So far, they're on track; bringing Extremis back, but revealing that someone has taken it and altered it. Nice.
As long as they stick with basing stuff on the comics/film universe and not going too crazy with totally original content that no one really cares about, I'm happy.
I would also like to see some of the characters from the movies, although, yes, money, I know.
But, is it too naive of me to hope that their commitment to their characters and their love and respect and gratitude to the fans who spent over a billion dollars on their movies deserve oh of course not.
The money.
Well, even without the biggies, I suppose there's more than enough to keep us geeks happy...although a S.H.I.E.L.D. show without Hawkeye, Black Widow and Fury is kind of dumb.
Anyway.
Yes.
Be sure to subscribe to my podcast**** and visit my web site***** and come to me with anything creative stuff you're interested in.
I'm still turgid with creativity and up for most anything.
* HA HA HA HA.
** As much as any David Lynch movie "explains" anything about anything
*** Some folks with astonishingly bad aim...like Empire clones without eyes bad.
**** See *
***** See ****
After watching him do it a few times, I was a natural and only mentioned starting a Machete Fight Club twice.
It helped that Philip knew virtually nothing about what he was talking about either. We were, hands down, the most attractive men in the room.
Did NOT manage to get any hot, college pussow though.
Maybe next time.
During his time here, I finally sat that swarthy fuck down and interviewed him for my podcast (quite a romp) and showed him the glory that is Telltale's Walking Dead game while eating 25 samosas.
Chris and I will be heading to Massachusetts in a week or so to hang out on HIS turf with his lovely wife and demonic fox dog, Simon.
And, perhaps, to play another game of Werewolf: The Apocalypse...
As I near the end of my first month of being a full time actor, things are still going pretty strong, booking VO stuff continuously and scoring my second on screen gig in a month thanks to my casting director friend, Tom, the same guy who cast me as Newton, the Death Metal Golfer for an MTV/Rock Band 2 spot several years ago. This time around, I played a "really tall guy".
You will not believe the nuance I bring.
I am happy to report that I am STILL not a jaded dick actor when it comes to being on set, as I still massively appreciate the free food and whatnot, although I am sad to report that not even MTV's best hair and make up people were able to improve upon the shimmering, shattering perfection that is me.
Some other acting victories include sitting in a posh studio, eating some of the best food I've ever had while listening to They Might be Giants' Nanobots on said studio's 7.1 because the client was taking a stupidly long time to give final approval on a spot we had just tweaked.
But I did not complain.
No.
Then there was the CSX session just this morning which was supposed to take three and a half hours, but which I wrapped up in bout twenty five minutes.
Because I am very, very good.
Along with the jobs people are paying me for are a few that I'm doing on my own, including a web series I'm developing with some friends and a music video I'll be directing for Adam Rivera.
More on those soon.
NOW, enough personal bullshit.
Let's talk media consumption.
I was worried that not having a set time to be at work every day would result in some kind of media freak out: shutting down and watching movies and TV while chewing through that stack of game I'd been amassing for the past several months. I am happy to say that has not happened exactly.
Sort of.
Thanks, once again, to Graham Skipper, I took in Guillermo del Toro's first film, a quirky horror movie called Cronos. It's features one of the most interesting vampire rule sets I've ever seen, sort of combining the vampire with the zombie. Ron Perlman is in it and has begun to look more like Hellboy than Ron Perlman to me.
I love Tito.
And, if you ever see this movie, you will too.
In the same vein* as the above, Chris and I checked out The Skin I Live In, which Chris said had blown her mind to the point where, when she saw it in the theater, she actually turned to the person she was with and said, out loud, "What the fuck?!"
I was less astonished.
At its heart, this is a revenge flick. Perhaps a revenge flick that goes further and gets darker than any revenge flick I've ever seen, but a revenge flick nonetheless.
Also (MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD), was anyone NOT surprised when Vera killed Robert the first chance she got?
Come on.
As Chris and I have decided to finally have a Twin Peaks themed Halloween party, we have been carving our way through the series. We just found out who killed Laura Palmer and now have only the 15 or so shitty, meandering episodes to look forward to.
It's not all bad though, we get to see David Duchovny in one of my favorite roles of his, as well as....uh....
Once the viewer discovers the secret of Laura's demise, they can watch Fire Walk With Me, a Lynch film that came out a year or so after the series that details the days leading up to Laura's death.
It also stars David Bowie and might or might not have him turn into a talking monkey.
I...am not kidding...
"I don't wanna talk...about Judy..."
While this seems to "explain" more about the Black Lodge**, it also seems to muddy the waters even more.
God damn it,
I love the concept of the Black Lodge, but everything is just so unclear...argh.
It's annoying to not have things spelled out for oneself from time to time, especially when I want them spelled out.
I also forgot that Kiefer Sutherland is in FWWM.
Good times.
Before launching into Twin Peaks, however, I'd had a hankering to rewatch Lost Highway and did so. That is still a great Lynch film, my favorite, in fact.
I used to think I had a handle on what was going on, and I did...until the last fifteen minutes or so.
See, I had thought that, if you just accept some basic truths about Pullman and Getty's characters and the nature of time that everything makes total sense.
I was wrong.
You win this one as well, David...
Henry Rollins nails it once again.
Did I mention that I finished Alphas?
Yeah.
You know, I knew, going in, that the series ended on a cliffhanger, but, come on guys, shit.
On September 12th, I watched all of Derek, the new Ricky Gervais show.
While I'm happy he's not rehashing The Office or Extras or Life's Too Short, I feel like the show was a bit too intentional. Yes, it was emotional and heartfelt and all that, but it felt too well planned.
Here's where the viewer will get weepy and here's where we make the tears fall. Now, a joke fro the gross, comic relief guy, now BANG more tears!
Can an argument be made that all shows go for the same effect? Sure, but, knowing Gervais' history and how smart he is, I felt his hand too heavily on Derek.
Major props to Karl Pilkington for utterly nailing this though. I'm glad Gervais stopped torturing the poor guy, although, I can't help feel that Gervais turned to him at one point and said something like, "You are my Derek."
AND SPEAKING OF NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES, Chris and I took in Hemlock Grove.
If Twilight is vampires and werewolves for idiot tweens and True Blood is vampires and werewolves for horny twenty somethings, Hemlock Grove is vampires and werewolves for faggy, art house junkies.
Who like funny accents.
I'm interested in seeing where this goes, although I feel that, while trying to walk that thin line between giving too much away and not explaining enough by the end of their first season that they sort of ended up on the latter side.
Whoooole lot of questions up in this bee hatch.
And a lot of dead folks.
BREAKING BAD.
I'd seen the whole show up to that hellish break in the final season and held off watching anything until yesterday, during which I watched the first five or so episodes of the final, final season.
God...the evolution...
One thing...even though they're doing some really great stuff, I'm hoping the cat and mouse game between those two people who are having a cat and mouse game ends soon.
The last episode I saw ended with an all out firefight between some folks*** and if everyone walks away from that unscathed I'll...well, I'll probably not care and scream until I've seen the whole show.
Man did shit gets fucked up or what...
What is television going to do after this show ends?
And, finally, I just finished watched the first episode of Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Pretty happy with it so far. A solid start.
My only problem is with Chloe Bennet, who plays Elisha Dushku-spore, "Skye".
In fact, I actually thought she was Dushku until, oh, four days ago?
It's my opinion that Dushku ruined Dollhouse (along with the fucks at Fox), and that Bennet is going to ruin this.
But.
Apparently, a lot of people are loving her, so, knowing Whedon, she's either going to die or be made legitimately cool.
As for Coulson and what he really is, I heard something somewhere that he would make a great Vision in the next Avengers movie and I think that is more than feasible.
What I want from this show is to further expand the universe of the films and this is a perfect opportunity to introduce and explain things without having to take up all that valuable big screen time doing so.
And also some Ultron teases.
So far, they're on track; bringing Extremis back, but revealing that someone has taken it and altered it. Nice.
As long as they stick with basing stuff on the comics/film universe and not going too crazy with totally original content that no one really cares about, I'm happy.
I would also like to see some of the characters from the movies, although, yes, money, I know.
But, is it too naive of me to hope that their commitment to their characters and their love and respect and gratitude to the fans who spent over a billion dollars on their movies deserve oh of course not.
The money.
Well, even without the biggies, I suppose there's more than enough to keep us geeks happy...although a S.H.I.E.L.D. show without Hawkeye, Black Widow and Fury is kind of dumb.
Anyway.
Yes.
Be sure to subscribe to my podcast**** and visit my web site***** and come to me with anything creative stuff you're interested in.
I'm still turgid with creativity and up for most anything.
* HA HA HA HA.
** As much as any David Lynch movie "explains" anything about anything
*** Some folks with astonishingly bad aim...like Empire clones without eyes bad.
**** See *
***** See ****
9.02.2013
End of the Month Music Bitchfest - August 2013
Nine Inch Nails
The Nine Inch Nails 2013 festival tour has ended (depending on whether I post this Sunday the 1st or Monday the 2nd) and the new album is out (for everyone who has a computer, fingers and the cold, black heart of a thief).
At the time of writing, it is only the 6th of August and I have seen and heard all three Nine Inch Nails shows to date (well, saw the live streams of Fuji and Lollapalooza, heard the pretty solid boot of Ansan, South Korea). If my assumptions are wrong, you will never read this sentence, because it will be erased in a flood of grateful tears....but, if I am right...then, aside from the switching out of a song or two...we've seen everything there is is see on this tour.
Have there been surprises? Yes, namely the reconstruction of "Sanctified" and the debut of three new songs from Hesitation Marks.
But, getting down to brass tacks, there has not been much else to take my breath away.*
The following still remain true about Nine Inch Nails live:
That. Is. Fine.
For the silly ass obsessed fans like myself, there have been enough changes to satisfy (barely) my fanboy fervor; new songs, a reinvention and reintroduction of a song they haven't played since 1996, and a few tweaks to old standards, but.
When that tour starts in September...I want to freak...out.
I want my fucking jaw to drop right off my god damn face.
Eight times.
If you're going to play "Terrible Lie", "March of the Pigs", "Closer", "The Hand That Feeds", "Head Like A Hole" and "Wish", you go for it, but you do something different.
Whether it's something completely insane, like in the case of "Sanctified", or something subtle, like the addition made to "Hurt", it does not matter.
Reznor says they've rehearsed about forty songs, so far (again, it's August 6th right now) we've heard twenty seven. If these last thirteen are meant for the festival tour, awesome, I will shut the shitting fuck up, but, if these last thirteen are included in the "real" NIN tour starting in September and ending in 2014?
Well, that's an issue.
Of those thirteen, I'd guess...what...six are new tracks? Not all of them working live?
That leaves seven.
Who wants to bet...I don't know..."Somewhat Damaged" or "Home" or "Echoplex"? Maybe "The Day The World Went Away" or "The Fragile"?
Let's say they only pick two.
That leaves five (or so) spaces for Nine Inch Nails to blow my mind.
I don't doubt that they can do it ("The Perfect Drug", "Mantra", "Zoo Station", "And All That Could Have Been", "Demon Seed"), I doubt that they will do it.
Or.
Maybe you'll never read this.
Maybe they'll whip out all thirteen for the remainder of this festival tour.
Or...maybe...maybe just once...I'll...get...what's coming to me.
Oh God!!!!
What's coming to meee!
Sorry.
Here is where I'd originally constructed two "ideal set lists", but, as I consider these the equivalent of sweaty, teenage fan fiction or wearing a Nine Inch Nails shirt to a Nine Inch Nails cover band show or Nine Inch Nails DVD screening party, I will not post them.
Now...onto Hesitation Marks...
Some early thoughts and impressions.
"Eater of Dreams" is an amazing track and should be four minutes longer. While there is nothing else on the album even vaguely related to the nightmares of H.P. Lovecraft, I still think the noises contained within this track would be at home coming from the inside of a Great Old One.
"Copy Of A" while it's grown on me, I still don't feel that there is a lot here. Also, I'm still bummed it isn't "Copy Of A (ay and not uh)" as I think that would have been more interesting subject matter (clones, the future etc.).
"Came Back Haunted" remains a strong single, but, if not handled correctly it could become a "Hand That Feeds". Moving on.
I dug "Find My Way" a lot the first time I heard it played on the Fuji live stream (and thought that it sounded a bit like something by Depeche Mode), and the studio version has so much more to offer. The background chants and drifting voices are chilling and add that touch of spiritual yearning addressed in the lyrics. I wish there were more stuff like this on the album.
"All Time Low" is the first song on the album that I don't like (as of right now, August 26th, it might grow on me). I don't hate it, and there are a lot of cool sounds in it, but there's just some stuff about it I don't dig. One thing that comes to mind are the lyrics that seem a bit remedial ("Hey! / Everything is not okay!" Really, Trent?). Something about it reminds me of "God Given" (another track I've never really liked). The second half, however, I love. I love the changes and the vocals and everything about it. Very divisive. I hope it grows on me.
"Disappointed" is really solid, but Reznor just sounds...I don't know...tired? I like all the instrumentation; the dancy beat, the plucked strings and the erhu melody but those last two minutes where nothing really happens are kind of confusing. Reznor mentioned during some interview about how he was worried that some of these songs might sound unfinished, like demos. While nothing else really feels this way, those barren beats at the end definitely seem to be missing something.
I like "Everything". I like it a lot. It's positive but rough, which is believable coming from Reznor at this point in his life. It isn't about how great "everything" is, it's about how, after "everything" he is, somehow still standing, shaking and shaken, but whole. I also like the nod to his earlier works and tour with the bright multi-part harmony of "wave goodbye". The song soars and makes me soar with it.
"Satellite" sounds like a track from Strobe Light and I kind of love that. It's a dark dance track that might feel at home as the "edgy" track on the new Justin Timberlake album. The subject matter is pretty on the nose as far as current events and the lyrics are, indeed, a bit silly, but your ass is shaking too hard to notice. The build at the end is nice too.
At the moment, "Various Methods of Escape" is one of my favorite tracks on Hesitation Marks. The quality and content of Reznor's vocals in the verses are something I've never heard before. The sonic textures stand out as well. I'm hoping this makes its way into their live set. I want to be swallowed by this song.
"Running" is another one I'm not crazy about. It feels...too sparse? And Reznor's voice doesn't go where I want it to...which is a ridiculous comment to make, I know, but, you asked, right? The little stabbing guitar line is abrasive, but not in an interesting way. It just sounds abrasive. Again, I'm not 100% sure I hate this; there are good moments. More time is required. The whole thing is just annoying me now.
THAT ^^^ was what I had originally thought, but, now, only a few days later, I'm digging it. It's all working.
"I Would For You" starts off with a beat sounding like something from Niggy Tardust, then rises from the cloggy synth mud to a cresting chorus, to one of the only times on the album where Reznor actually raises his voice to scream. Something about the chorus reminds me of "A Stranger In Moscow" by Michael Jackson...which is a weird god damn thing to say while reviewing a Nine Inch Nails album. This is another favorite for me.
My jury is still out on "In Two". There's so much happening here and I don't know if I like it or not. The sound is so hard it becomes unfocused at times, that along with the the robot (?!) vocals and then the high, chanting falsetto, then, just as I'm catching my breath and getting into it, everything drops out and things begin to build again from scratch...
Gah.
I need some more time with this.
I have a problem with judging books by their covers. Also with judging the quality and tone of Nine Inch Nails songs by their placement on an album. Case in point: "While I'm Still Here". I thought this was going to be the "In This Twilight", "Beside You In Time" or "The Downward Spiral" of Hesitation Marks.*** It is not. I do not like it. Reznor's vocals, both the flat, toneless, almost-shouting and the repetition of "ticking time is running out"**** just kill me. I'm trying to think of another Nine Inch Nails song I've disliked this much on early listens, but I'm coming up dry. Again, hoping this grows on me. What it is is beautiful, but not its execution.
And then, "Black Noise" swarms up and swallows everything. I'll admit, I wanted this to be cooler, longer, more apocalyptic and not just dark guitar noise...maybe an evolution of "Eater of Dreams"? Oh well. Maybe next time.
So.
Hesitation Marks doesn't sound anything like any Nine Inch Nails album I've ever heard (although some elements remind me of Depeche Mode, Michael Jackson, Justin Timberlake and Talking Heads, respectively).
It's difficult and I'm going to need a lot more time with it.
After hearing the first few singles from the album plus "Disappointed" and "Find My Way" from the live shows, I was a bit worried about just how sparse the album would be. I dig sparse, but, come on, if Reznor is back on his "one new album every five years" cycle, then I'm going to need something more... I was also ready to be let down about the incongruous nature of the visuals (the amazing, amazing visuals by Russell Mills) and the sounds I was hearing; everything I'd heard was too clean to be paired with these gritty, blood-smeared images. Did you see the art for "Everything"? I was worried that the art would just be something cool that reminded us of The Downward Spiral so Reznor could further impart that Hesitation Marks was related to it. After hearing the whole thing, however, my fears have been assuaged.
I think I really like this album, even though it lacks a certain softness I've come to enjoy and look forward to on Nine Inch Nails albums, but, then again, it's all about being surprised, isn't it?
They Might Be Giants
August 10th's Celebrate Brooklyn show might have been the best TMBG concert I have attended in quite a while. Yes, they do tend to blur together sometimes, but this one stands out.
The negatives first: usually, there are a handful of songs that I...I won't say suffer through, but, you know, I've heard them a lot and would rather have a different song or some banter twixt the John or, I don't know, completely silence in their place. One of those songs is "Damn Good Times". Even though it's not a bad song and they always rock it out and it's only, what, three minutes, even with the blistering solo from Dan? I feel as if I have been hearing it for a decade now and I am ready for it to go away.
Far away.
And never return until the 2030's when the band starts doing "Spine Shows".
Then we have "Mr. Me".
If you are seeing They Might Be Giants and they have the Tricerachops Horns with them, chances are you're going to hear "Mr. Me".
I would rather not.
Then there's "The Mesopotamians" and "Doctor Worm" BUT the former is always fun and, at least with the horns, the latter is rife with pogoing opportunities, so I'm not bitching too hard.
At least they didn't play "Drink!".
Other than those slightly less bright spots...the set was amazing. I hadn't heard "New York City" in a while and it sounded just as perfect as ever, and segueing from the last note of NYC into "Ana Ng"?
Well played, gentlemen.
All the new Nanobots tracks sounded great, especially the "fast" version of "Black Ops"***** and "Icky", plus, it was awesome to have just John and John for "Istanbul" as I sometimes feel too much time is dedicated to it when you have the Dan Miller intro and the two false endings, especially when the horns are on the prowl.
Other highlights included "The Guitar" (haven't heard this in a while either), "When Will You Die?" (even more biting with horns), "I'll Sink Manhattan" (ditto), "Call You Mom" and "Hey, Mr. DJ, I Thought You Said We Had A Deal" (HORNSHORNSHORNSHORNS)******.
The only other negative I could think of was that the show felt a bit short, but that's probably only because it was so awesome and I didn't want it to end.
All in all, a fantastic, fantastic show. They've STILL still got it after three decades of doing this.
And, yes, I have already purchased my tickets for their November 2nd Terminal 5 show, where they will be performing their first album in its entirety.
At the moment, I have an extra...anyone down?
Beck
Less than a week before TMBG, I saw Beck (wit his full band) for the first time since they toured with Guero back in...Jesus...2005?!
Whatever the case, Beck is still the second funkiest white man alive and while it was a great show, the lack of anything from Midnite Vultures kind of bummed me out a bit.
The two songs they performed from Song Reader just made me want them to fucking record Song Reader even more.
No mention of a new album, just Beck and Co. rocking the shit out of Brooklyn.
The highlights included "Where It's At" (with its ridiculously long and sexy break down which involved Beck, crawling on his hands and knees, asking that New York City let him in because he was "lonely tonight"), "E-Pro" and the quiet stuff from Sea Change.
On the whole, the show really just sort of salted my wounds regarding his lack of productivity lately...
And whose fault is that?
Nobody's Fault But Beck's Own.
Yeah.
Repurposing.
And, thanks to a recommend from fiery starlet, Graham Skipper, I checked out Apes & Androids one and only album, Blood Moon.
Here is the sentence I have constructed to describe it:
Prince, Beck (impersonating Gary Wilson), Har Mar Superstar, Oingo Boingo, Queen and Mindless Self Indulgence singing into a computer in a church that has been converted into a hot funked up club.
Also, there is sex.
Thank you , Mr. Skipper.
Finally, on September 27th, I'm going to see Atoms For Peace at Barclay's...if I can stop listening to Hesitation Marks long enough to brush up on The Eraser and AMOK.
Which will probably not happen.
* Sonically; visually, this tour was, if a little scattered at times, amazing.
** They broke this tradition recently, starting with Live With Teeth, but have, sadly, hence returned to it.
*** As in the powerful, penultimate climax followed by the slow and beautiful denouement of "Zero Sum" or "Right Where It Belongs" or "Hurt".
**** Okay. I will happily admit that a lot of Reznor's lyrics sound like bad, teenage angst poetry, but both his delivery (his passion, aggression, longing, whatever etc.) and the sonic framework in which they are set ameliorate their brooding, overdramatic nature. Usually.
***** Which will hopefully be included on the upcoming rarities and b-sides collection for Nanobots.
****** That's "horns", not "shorn".
The Nine Inch Nails 2013 festival tour has ended (depending on whether I post this Sunday the 1st or Monday the 2nd) and the new album is out (for everyone who has a computer, fingers and the cold, black heart of a thief).
At the time of writing, it is only the 6th of August and I have seen and heard all three Nine Inch Nails shows to date (well, saw the live streams of Fuji and Lollapalooza, heard the pretty solid boot of Ansan, South Korea). If my assumptions are wrong, you will never read this sentence, because it will be erased in a flood of grateful tears....but, if I am right...then, aside from the switching out of a song or two...we've seen everything there is is see on this tour.
Have there been surprises? Yes, namely the reconstruction of "Sanctified" and the debut of three new songs from Hesitation Marks.
But, getting down to brass tacks, there has not been much else to take my breath away.*
The following still remain true about Nine Inch Nails live:
- The first third of the show features "March of the Pigs"
- "The Frail / The Wretched" OR "Reptile"
- "Gave Up" segueing into the "quiet part"
- The "quiet part" ending with one of Nine Inch Nails' handful of "Songs That Start Quiet But Then End Loud"...
- ...being followed by "Wish"**
- Last three songs are some combination of "The Hand That Feeds", "Head Like A Hole" and "Hurt".
That. Is. Fine.
For the silly ass obsessed fans like myself, there have been enough changes to satisfy (barely) my fanboy fervor; new songs, a reinvention and reintroduction of a song they haven't played since 1996, and a few tweaks to old standards, but.
When that tour starts in September...I want to freak...out.
I want my fucking jaw to drop right off my god damn face.
Eight times.
If you're going to play "Terrible Lie", "March of the Pigs", "Closer", "The Hand That Feeds", "Head Like A Hole" and "Wish", you go for it, but you do something different.
Whether it's something completely insane, like in the case of "Sanctified", or something subtle, like the addition made to "Hurt", it does not matter.
Reznor says they've rehearsed about forty songs, so far (again, it's August 6th right now) we've heard twenty seven. If these last thirteen are meant for the festival tour, awesome, I will shut the shitting fuck up, but, if these last thirteen are included in the "real" NIN tour starting in September and ending in 2014?
Well, that's an issue.
Of those thirteen, I'd guess...what...six are new tracks? Not all of them working live?
That leaves seven.
Who wants to bet...I don't know..."Somewhat Damaged" or "Home" or "Echoplex"? Maybe "The Day The World Went Away" or "The Fragile"?
Let's say they only pick two.
That leaves five (or so) spaces for Nine Inch Nails to blow my mind.
I don't doubt that they can do it ("The Perfect Drug", "Mantra", "Zoo Station", "And All That Could Have Been", "Demon Seed"), I doubt that they will do it.
Or.
Maybe you'll never read this.
Maybe they'll whip out all thirteen for the remainder of this festival tour.
Or...maybe...maybe just once...I'll...get...what's coming to me.
Oh God!!!!
What's coming to meee!
Sorry.
Here is where I'd originally constructed two "ideal set lists", but, as I consider these the equivalent of sweaty, teenage fan fiction or wearing a Nine Inch Nails shirt to a Nine Inch Nails cover band show or Nine Inch Nails DVD screening party, I will not post them.
Now...onto Hesitation Marks...
Some early thoughts and impressions.
"Eater of Dreams" is an amazing track and should be four minutes longer. While there is nothing else on the album even vaguely related to the nightmares of H.P. Lovecraft, I still think the noises contained within this track would be at home coming from the inside of a Great Old One.
"Copy Of A" while it's grown on me, I still don't feel that there is a lot here. Also, I'm still bummed it isn't "Copy Of A (ay and not uh)" as I think that would have been more interesting subject matter (clones, the future etc.).
"Came Back Haunted" remains a strong single, but, if not handled correctly it could become a "Hand That Feeds". Moving on.
I dug "Find My Way" a lot the first time I heard it played on the Fuji live stream (and thought that it sounded a bit like something by Depeche Mode), and the studio version has so much more to offer. The background chants and drifting voices are chilling and add that touch of spiritual yearning addressed in the lyrics. I wish there were more stuff like this on the album.
"All Time Low" is the first song on the album that I don't like (as of right now, August 26th, it might grow on me). I don't hate it, and there are a lot of cool sounds in it, but there's just some stuff about it I don't dig. One thing that comes to mind are the lyrics that seem a bit remedial ("Hey! / Everything is not okay!" Really, Trent?). Something about it reminds me of "God Given" (another track I've never really liked). The second half, however, I love. I love the changes and the vocals and everything about it. Very divisive. I hope it grows on me.
"Disappointed" is really solid, but Reznor just sounds...I don't know...tired? I like all the instrumentation; the dancy beat, the plucked strings and the erhu melody but those last two minutes where nothing really happens are kind of confusing. Reznor mentioned during some interview about how he was worried that some of these songs might sound unfinished, like demos. While nothing else really feels this way, those barren beats at the end definitely seem to be missing something.
I like "Everything". I like it a lot. It's positive but rough, which is believable coming from Reznor at this point in his life. It isn't about how great "everything" is, it's about how, after "everything" he is, somehow still standing, shaking and shaken, but whole. I also like the nod to his earlier works and tour with the bright multi-part harmony of "wave goodbye". The song soars and makes me soar with it.
"Satellite" sounds like a track from Strobe Light and I kind of love that. It's a dark dance track that might feel at home as the "edgy" track on the new Justin Timberlake album. The subject matter is pretty on the nose as far as current events and the lyrics are, indeed, a bit silly, but your ass is shaking too hard to notice. The build at the end is nice too.
At the moment, "Various Methods of Escape" is one of my favorite tracks on Hesitation Marks. The quality and content of Reznor's vocals in the verses are something I've never heard before. The sonic textures stand out as well. I'm hoping this makes its way into their live set. I want to be swallowed by this song.
"Running" is another one I'm not crazy about. It feels...too sparse? And Reznor's voice doesn't go where I want it to...which is a ridiculous comment to make, I know, but, you asked, right? The little stabbing guitar line is abrasive, but not in an interesting way. It just sounds abrasive. Again, I'm not 100% sure I hate this; there are good moments. More time is required. The whole thing is just annoying me now.
THAT ^^^ was what I had originally thought, but, now, only a few days later, I'm digging it. It's all working.
"I Would For You" starts off with a beat sounding like something from Niggy Tardust, then rises from the cloggy synth mud to a cresting chorus, to one of the only times on the album where Reznor actually raises his voice to scream. Something about the chorus reminds me of "A Stranger In Moscow" by Michael Jackson...which is a weird god damn thing to say while reviewing a Nine Inch Nails album. This is another favorite for me.
My jury is still out on "In Two". There's so much happening here and I don't know if I like it or not. The sound is so hard it becomes unfocused at times, that along with the the robot (?!) vocals and then the high, chanting falsetto, then, just as I'm catching my breath and getting into it, everything drops out and things begin to build again from scratch...
Gah.
I need some more time with this.
I have a problem with judging books by their covers. Also with judging the quality and tone of Nine Inch Nails songs by their placement on an album. Case in point: "While I'm Still Here". I thought this was going to be the "In This Twilight", "Beside You In Time" or "The Downward Spiral" of Hesitation Marks.*** It is not. I do not like it. Reznor's vocals, both the flat, toneless, almost-shouting and the repetition of "ticking time is running out"**** just kill me. I'm trying to think of another Nine Inch Nails song I've disliked this much on early listens, but I'm coming up dry. Again, hoping this grows on me. What it is is beautiful, but not its execution.
And then, "Black Noise" swarms up and swallows everything. I'll admit, I wanted this to be cooler, longer, more apocalyptic and not just dark guitar noise...maybe an evolution of "Eater of Dreams"? Oh well. Maybe next time.
So.
Hesitation Marks doesn't sound anything like any Nine Inch Nails album I've ever heard (although some elements remind me of Depeche Mode, Michael Jackson, Justin Timberlake and Talking Heads, respectively).
It's difficult and I'm going to need a lot more time with it.
After hearing the first few singles from the album plus "Disappointed" and "Find My Way" from the live shows, I was a bit worried about just how sparse the album would be. I dig sparse, but, come on, if Reznor is back on his "one new album every five years" cycle, then I'm going to need something more... I was also ready to be let down about the incongruous nature of the visuals (the amazing, amazing visuals by Russell Mills) and the sounds I was hearing; everything I'd heard was too clean to be paired with these gritty, blood-smeared images. Did you see the art for "Everything"? I was worried that the art would just be something cool that reminded us of The Downward Spiral so Reznor could further impart that Hesitation Marks was related to it. After hearing the whole thing, however, my fears have been assuaged.
I think I really like this album, even though it lacks a certain softness I've come to enjoy and look forward to on Nine Inch Nails albums, but, then again, it's all about being surprised, isn't it?
They Might Be Giants
August 10th's Celebrate Brooklyn show might have been the best TMBG concert I have attended in quite a while. Yes, they do tend to blur together sometimes, but this one stands out.
The negatives first: usually, there are a handful of songs that I...I won't say suffer through, but, you know, I've heard them a lot and would rather have a different song or some banter twixt the John or, I don't know, completely silence in their place. One of those songs is "Damn Good Times". Even though it's not a bad song and they always rock it out and it's only, what, three minutes, even with the blistering solo from Dan? I feel as if I have been hearing it for a decade now and I am ready for it to go away.
Far away.
And never return until the 2030's when the band starts doing "Spine Shows".
Then we have "Mr. Me".
If you are seeing They Might Be Giants and they have the Tricerachops Horns with them, chances are you're going to hear "Mr. Me".
I would rather not.
Then there's "The Mesopotamians" and "Doctor Worm" BUT the former is always fun and, at least with the horns, the latter is rife with pogoing opportunities, so I'm not bitching too hard.
At least they didn't play "Drink!".
Other than those slightly less bright spots...the set was amazing. I hadn't heard "New York City" in a while and it sounded just as perfect as ever, and segueing from the last note of NYC into "Ana Ng"?
Well played, gentlemen.
All the new Nanobots tracks sounded great, especially the "fast" version of "Black Ops"***** and "Icky", plus, it was awesome to have just John and John for "Istanbul" as I sometimes feel too much time is dedicated to it when you have the Dan Miller intro and the two false endings, especially when the horns are on the prowl.
Other highlights included "The Guitar" (haven't heard this in a while either), "When Will You Die?" (even more biting with horns), "I'll Sink Manhattan" (ditto), "Call You Mom" and "Hey, Mr. DJ, I Thought You Said We Had A Deal" (HORNSHORNSHORNSHORNS)******.
The only other negative I could think of was that the show felt a bit short, but that's probably only because it was so awesome and I didn't want it to end.
All in all, a fantastic, fantastic show. They've STILL still got it after three decades of doing this.
And, yes, I have already purchased my tickets for their November 2nd Terminal 5 show, where they will be performing their first album in its entirety.
At the moment, I have an extra...anyone down?
Beck
Less than a week before TMBG, I saw Beck (wit his full band) for the first time since they toured with Guero back in...Jesus...2005?!
Whatever the case, Beck is still the second funkiest white man alive and while it was a great show, the lack of anything from Midnite Vultures kind of bummed me out a bit.
The two songs they performed from Song Reader just made me want them to fucking record Song Reader even more.
No mention of a new album, just Beck and Co. rocking the shit out of Brooklyn.
The highlights included "Where It's At" (with its ridiculously long and sexy break down which involved Beck, crawling on his hands and knees, asking that New York City let him in because he was "lonely tonight"), "E-Pro" and the quiet stuff from Sea Change.
On the whole, the show really just sort of salted my wounds regarding his lack of productivity lately...
And whose fault is that?
Nobody's Fault But Beck's Own.
Yeah.
Repurposing.
And, thanks to a recommend from fiery starlet, Graham Skipper, I checked out Apes & Androids one and only album, Blood Moon.
Here is the sentence I have constructed to describe it:
Prince, Beck (impersonating Gary Wilson), Har Mar Superstar, Oingo Boingo, Queen and Mindless Self Indulgence singing into a computer in a church that has been converted into a hot funked up club.
Also, there is sex.
Thank you , Mr. Skipper.
Finally, on September 27th, I'm going to see Atoms For Peace at Barclay's...if I can stop listening to Hesitation Marks long enough to brush up on The Eraser and AMOK.
Which will probably not happen.
* Sonically; visually, this tour was, if a little scattered at times, amazing.
** They broke this tradition recently, starting with Live With Teeth, but have, sadly, hence returned to it.
*** As in the powerful, penultimate climax followed by the slow and beautiful denouement of "Zero Sum" or "Right Where It Belongs" or "Hurt".
**** Okay. I will happily admit that a lot of Reznor's lyrics sound like bad, teenage angst poetry, but both his delivery (his passion, aggression, longing, whatever etc.) and the sonic framework in which they are set ameliorate their brooding, overdramatic nature. Usually.
***** Which will hopefully be included on the upcoming rarities and b-sides collection for Nanobots.
****** That's "horns", not "shorn".
8.27.2013
I Made A Sandwich Out Of Media. A Media Sandwich.
The bread.
Was media.
The filling.
Was media.
The trimmings.
Was media.
After having it in my home for OVER EIGHT MONTHS, I finally watched David Lynch's fucking The Elephant Man. While I think Lynch did an amazing job of making the movie feel like it was from the 50's, I feel like his signature...uh...Lynchiness kind of got in the way of a really solid story; luckily, he kept his filmic fugues to a minimum and they didn't really affect anything. Hopkins did an awesome job as did, of course, John Hurt. I guess my only problem is when that crowd bursts into Merrick's room, it gets too cartoony and some of the seriousness and trauma of the experience was lost.
Then there's the fact that that whole thing could have easily been avoided if there had been, you know, curtains on the window or...oh, I don't know, a fucking door that could be locked.
He could have also told Hopkins that the Cockney fuckbag was harassing him.
Either way, my eyes were wet the whole time.
Fuck those British fucks for messing with that poor guy.
While in L.A., I had the pleasure of sitting down with friend, actor and armature taxidermist, Graham Skipper and interviewing him for my podcast. He gave me a pile of cool shit to check out (which I will soon consume and report on the moment I have time) and also reminded me of a separate pile of cool sit that I had never seen or had forgotten I had seen. One such shitlet was the original, 1974 version of The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. Much like the first Friday the 13th movie, I feel like TCSM spawned a lot of those trite horror tropes we suffer through today; namely, the seemingly endless running and screaming.
Jesus fucking Christ.
I was rooting for Leatherface.
Partly because those goddamn hippies deserved what they got and partly just to stop the screaming.
Then there was the "going crazy" dinner scene. I can just hear the director: "You three, laugh more! You, cry! Cameraman, zoom in and out on her eyes! More! MORE!!!"
Ugh.
Also: I have never felt less sympathetic for a handicapped character before. He was fat and obnoxious and complaining the whole time and the moment he was vivisected by Mr. Face was one of the most rewarding moments of the film. I guess it's true what they say: even those brave souls living with physical challenges can still be annoying assholes.
Rest in pieces, Franklin, I hope they use your skin for a bath mat.
I will say that it was interesting not to have everything wrapped up and explained for a change. It felt more real and chaotic.
Two alternate titles:
Hitchhikers: No, Dude. Never.
And
In Thirty Years, Rob Zombie Is Going To Write This Movie A Love Letter
Another one of Graham's recommends was Attack The Block, something I completely missed because I had confused it was some shitty American action movie involving police.
While I dug this, I had a lot of trouble seeing those kids as protagonists and rooting for them because of their attack on that woman at the start. I understand that was kind of the point, but what they ended up doing never really redeemed them for me. Maybe I'm too much of a feminist, but, yeah, I think those little shits deserved a bit more suffering.
I also thought Al Swearegen was the bad guy before they introduced Cy Tolliver.
Nick Frost was, obviously, gold, as were those two little kids. While this wasn't exactly Shaun of the Dead with aliens, it was almost Shaun of the Dead with aliens. And that should count for something.
I would like to thank The Streets and Jamie T. for the dialect lessons that allowed me to fully enjoy this film.
So...you know how we all have those friends who haven't seen ______ and it just makes us sick or furious or whatever?
Yeah, I had never seen Blade Runner until a few nights ago.*
And...you know how there are those movies that sort of need to be seen at a certain point in one's life in order to have the proper impact and effect? Movies like The Goonies, Heathers, Labyrinth etc? I think this might count as one such movie. Which is not to say I didn't like it or dig what was going on, I just felt that, after all the talk and hype and homages and with how deep it's sunk into sci-fi culture and everything that there would be more to it. I also haven't read Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep?, but, if it's related to Blade Runner in the same fashion We Can Remember It For You Wholesale is related to Total Recall, well, it probably won't be of much help.
I think the problem I had was that they set up this awesome future world but you only get a little glimpse of it before Harrison Ford and Rutger Hauer (in one of the most terrifying roles I have ever fucking seen him in) start chasing each other around and playing Touchcock.
Also, two questions for you: was M. Emmet Walsh ever young?
And can we sue someone over D.C. Comics totally stealing the idea for Harley Quinn from Daryl Hannah in this movie?
In addition, I would like to go on record as stating that Daryl Hannah is superhot and that I'd give her a VK test any day.
Right before she kicks me through a fucking wall.
Rowr.
On a recommend from Jen Rock and the ever-ebullient Autumn Conkle, I have started watching Alphas despite the fact that it only got two seasons and that the second season ends on an unresolved cliffhanger. It walks a thin line between X-Men and Heroes but has been enjoyable enough to keep my attention.
It might also be one of my favorite roles for Summer Glau AKA one of the only roles I have seen her in without autism or being a robot or being a lab rat or being a robot with autism powered by a lab rat.
I still think she needs a good, home-cooked meal though.
She's wasting away.
I enjoyed the whole thing with Anna and Gary, but not a whole lot else is popping out for me. I like the episodes that feed into the larger story as opposed to the wacky villain one-offs or the random "character's past" episodes, especially since I know there is only a finite number of episodes left.
I also like playing the game where I name the D.C. or Marvel counterpart to whatever character they introduce in Alphas.
Chris and I have just finished the most recent season of Mad Men which, at the risk of sounding ignorant and plebeian, I feel is just doing shit to do it for no real discernable reason.
Let's make Don a dick in this episode but then do something nice in this episode.
Let's make Peter continue to want things. To have.**
Roger makes a sad, funny, sharp joke!!!
Shoot that dude in the face with a fucking shotgun...hang on...did that actually happen?
While I am very much looking forward to what happens next...I can't really really prepare my mind for it.
Is it masterfully crafted subtly or prolonged, exaggerated cockstroking, punctuated by a fast and messy spurt of sticky consequences?
Also: Christina Hendricks remains hotter than forty suns on fire.
And, finally, I just got back into Californication after completely forgetting about it for two whole seasons.
And, yes, while the show does really only revolve around how naughty David Duchovny is while either being with or trying to be with his ex-wife, I enjoy it for what it is: an adult, serialized televising show based on Porky's.
I also love Pam Aldon, Stephen Tobolowsky, the passive aggression (and aggressive aggression) between Jason Baghe and Duchovny, and the bromance between Even Handler and Duchovny.
Plus, the fifth season has RZA in it, and I firmly believe there is not one show or movie out today that could not be improved by his presence.
I will admit that the easy pace and laid back attitude towards everything makes me not want to move to California, but, a.) I am a pretty high strung dude, and, b.) this is a television show shot in the Czech Republic, so I probably shouldn't put too much stock in it.
Whew.
So there's that.
Coming soon, thanks to Mr. Skipper's kind recommendation: Possession, Bellflower and XTRO.
* OR I did see it and it left no impression on me. For whatever reason.
** HOW COULD ANYONE CHEAT ON HIS WIFE SHE IS SO UNCONTROLLABLY HOT YOU DUMB ASSFACE?!?!?!? ***
*** LOTS of cognitive dissonance related to Allison Brie when I happen to watch both Mad Men and Community. "I have the weirdest boner..."
Was media.
The filling.
Was media.
The trimmings.
Was media.
After having it in my home for OVER EIGHT MONTHS, I finally watched David Lynch's fucking The Elephant Man. While I think Lynch did an amazing job of making the movie feel like it was from the 50's, I feel like his signature...uh...Lynchiness kind of got in the way of a really solid story; luckily, he kept his filmic fugues to a minimum and they didn't really affect anything. Hopkins did an awesome job as did, of course, John Hurt. I guess my only problem is when that crowd bursts into Merrick's room, it gets too cartoony and some of the seriousness and trauma of the experience was lost.
Then there's the fact that that whole thing could have easily been avoided if there had been, you know, curtains on the window or...oh, I don't know, a fucking door that could be locked.
He could have also told Hopkins that the Cockney fuckbag was harassing him.
Either way, my eyes were wet the whole time.
Fuck those British fucks for messing with that poor guy.
While in L.A., I had the pleasure of sitting down with friend, actor and armature taxidermist, Graham Skipper and interviewing him for my podcast. He gave me a pile of cool shit to check out (which I will soon consume and report on the moment I have time) and also reminded me of a separate pile of cool sit that I had never seen or had forgotten I had seen. One such shitlet was the original, 1974 version of The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. Much like the first Friday the 13th movie, I feel like TCSM spawned a lot of those trite horror tropes we suffer through today; namely, the seemingly endless running and screaming.
Jesus fucking Christ.
I was rooting for Leatherface.
Partly because those goddamn hippies deserved what they got and partly just to stop the screaming.
Then there was the "going crazy" dinner scene. I can just hear the director: "You three, laugh more! You, cry! Cameraman, zoom in and out on her eyes! More! MORE!!!"
Ugh.
Also: I have never felt less sympathetic for a handicapped character before. He was fat and obnoxious and complaining the whole time and the moment he was vivisected by Mr. Face was one of the most rewarding moments of the film. I guess it's true what they say: even those brave souls living with physical challenges can still be annoying assholes.
Rest in pieces, Franklin, I hope they use your skin for a bath mat.
I will say that it was interesting not to have everything wrapped up and explained for a change. It felt more real and chaotic.
Two alternate titles:
Hitchhikers: No, Dude. Never.
And
In Thirty Years, Rob Zombie Is Going To Write This Movie A Love Letter
Another one of Graham's recommends was Attack The Block, something I completely missed because I had confused it was some shitty American action movie involving police.
While I dug this, I had a lot of trouble seeing those kids as protagonists and rooting for them because of their attack on that woman at the start. I understand that was kind of the point, but what they ended up doing never really redeemed them for me. Maybe I'm too much of a feminist, but, yeah, I think those little shits deserved a bit more suffering.
I also thought Al Swearegen was the bad guy before they introduced Cy Tolliver.
Nick Frost was, obviously, gold, as were those two little kids. While this wasn't exactly Shaun of the Dead with aliens, it was almost Shaun of the Dead with aliens. And that should count for something.
I would like to thank The Streets and Jamie T. for the dialect lessons that allowed me to fully enjoy this film.
So...you know how we all have those friends who haven't seen ______ and it just makes us sick or furious or whatever?
Yeah, I had never seen Blade Runner until a few nights ago.*
And...you know how there are those movies that sort of need to be seen at a certain point in one's life in order to have the proper impact and effect? Movies like The Goonies, Heathers, Labyrinth etc? I think this might count as one such movie. Which is not to say I didn't like it or dig what was going on, I just felt that, after all the talk and hype and homages and with how deep it's sunk into sci-fi culture and everything that there would be more to it. I also haven't read Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep?, but, if it's related to Blade Runner in the same fashion We Can Remember It For You Wholesale is related to Total Recall, well, it probably won't be of much help.
I think the problem I had was that they set up this awesome future world but you only get a little glimpse of it before Harrison Ford and Rutger Hauer (in one of the most terrifying roles I have ever fucking seen him in) start chasing each other around and playing Touchcock.
Also, two questions for you: was M. Emmet Walsh ever young?
And can we sue someone over D.C. Comics totally stealing the idea for Harley Quinn from Daryl Hannah in this movie?
In addition, I would like to go on record as stating that Daryl Hannah is superhot and that I'd give her a VK test any day.
Right before she kicks me through a fucking wall.
Rowr.
On a recommend from Jen Rock and the ever-ebullient Autumn Conkle, I have started watching Alphas despite the fact that it only got two seasons and that the second season ends on an unresolved cliffhanger. It walks a thin line between X-Men and Heroes but has been enjoyable enough to keep my attention.
It might also be one of my favorite roles for Summer Glau AKA one of the only roles I have seen her in without autism or being a robot or being a lab rat or being a robot with autism powered by a lab rat.
I still think she needs a good, home-cooked meal though.
She's wasting away.
I enjoyed the whole thing with Anna and Gary, but not a whole lot else is popping out for me. I like the episodes that feed into the larger story as opposed to the wacky villain one-offs or the random "character's past" episodes, especially since I know there is only a finite number of episodes left.
I also like playing the game where I name the D.C. or Marvel counterpart to whatever character they introduce in Alphas.
Chris and I have just finished the most recent season of Mad Men which, at the risk of sounding ignorant and plebeian, I feel is just doing shit to do it for no real discernable reason.
Let's make Don a dick in this episode but then do something nice in this episode.
Let's make Peter continue to want things. To have.**
Roger makes a sad, funny, sharp joke!!!
Shoot that dude in the face with a fucking shotgun...hang on...did that actually happen?
While I am very much looking forward to what happens next...I can't really really prepare my mind for it.
Is it masterfully crafted subtly or prolonged, exaggerated cockstroking, punctuated by a fast and messy spurt of sticky consequences?
Also: Christina Hendricks remains hotter than forty suns on fire.
And, finally, I just got back into Californication after completely forgetting about it for two whole seasons.
And, yes, while the show does really only revolve around how naughty David Duchovny is while either being with or trying to be with his ex-wife, I enjoy it for what it is: an adult, serialized televising show based on Porky's.
I also love Pam Aldon, Stephen Tobolowsky, the passive aggression (and aggressive aggression) between Jason Baghe and Duchovny, and the bromance between Even Handler and Duchovny.
Plus, the fifth season has RZA in it, and I firmly believe there is not one show or movie out today that could not be improved by his presence.
I will admit that the easy pace and laid back attitude towards everything makes me not want to move to California, but, a.) I am a pretty high strung dude, and, b.) this is a television show shot in the Czech Republic, so I probably shouldn't put too much stock in it.
Whew.
So there's that.
Coming soon, thanks to Mr. Skipper's kind recommendation: Possession, Bellflower and XTRO.
* OR I did see it and it left no impression on me. For whatever reason.
** HOW COULD ANYONE CHEAT ON HIS WIFE SHE IS SO UNCONTROLLABLY HOT YOU DUMB ASSFACE?!?!?!? ***
*** LOTS of cognitive dissonance related to Allison Brie when I happen to watch both Mad Men and Community. "I have the weirdest boner..."
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