First and foremost, just last week, the right Reverend Philip Tucker came to town for some job thing and I ended up tagging along to help him inform college students at Adelphi about studying abroad in Spanish speaking countries.
After watching him do it a few times, I was a natural and only mentioned starting a Machete Fight Club twice.
It helped that Philip knew virtually nothing about what he was talking about either. We were, hands down, the most attractive men in the room.
Did NOT manage to get any hot, college pussow though.
Maybe next time.
During his time here, I finally sat that swarthy fuck down and interviewed him for my podcast (quite a romp) and showed him the glory that is Telltale's Walking Dead game while eating 25 samosas.
Chris and I will be heading to Massachusetts in a week or so to hang out on HIS turf with his lovely wife and demonic fox dog, Simon.
And, perhaps, to play another game of Werewolf: The Apocalypse...
As I near the end of my first month of being a full time actor, things are still going pretty strong, booking VO stuff continuously and scoring my second on screen gig in a month thanks to my casting director friend, Tom, the same guy who cast me as Newton, the Death Metal Golfer for an MTV/Rock Band 2 spot several years ago. This time around, I played a "really tall guy".
You will not believe the nuance I bring.
I am happy to report that I am STILL not a jaded dick actor when it comes to being on set, as I still massively appreciate the free food and whatnot, although I am sad to report that not even MTV's best hair and make up people were able to improve upon the shimmering, shattering perfection that is me.
Some other acting victories include sitting in a posh studio, eating some of the best food I've ever had while listening to They Might be Giants' Nanobots on said studio's 7.1 because the client was taking a stupidly long time to give final approval on a spot we had just tweaked.
But I did not complain.
No.
Then there was the CSX session just this morning which was supposed to take three and a half hours, but which I wrapped up in bout twenty five minutes.
Because I am very, very good.
Along with the jobs people are paying me for are a few that I'm doing on my own, including a web series I'm developing with some friends and a music video I'll be directing for Adam Rivera.
More on those soon.
NOW, enough personal bullshit.
Let's talk media consumption.
I was worried that not having a set time to be at work every day would result in some kind of media freak out: shutting down and watching movies and TV while chewing through that stack of game I'd been amassing for the past several months. I am happy to say that has not happened exactly.
Sort of.
Thanks, once again, to Graham Skipper, I took in Guillermo del Toro's first film, a quirky horror movie called Cronos. It's features one of the most interesting vampire rule sets I've ever seen, sort of combining the vampire with the zombie. Ron Perlman is in it and has begun to look more like Hellboy than Ron Perlman to me.
I love Tito.
And, if you ever see this movie, you will too.
In the same vein* as the above, Chris and I checked out The Skin I Live In, which Chris said had blown her mind to the point where, when she saw it in the theater, she actually turned to the person she was with and said, out loud, "What the fuck?!"
I was less astonished.
At its heart, this is a revenge flick. Perhaps a revenge flick that goes further and gets darker than any revenge flick I've ever seen, but a revenge flick nonetheless.
Also (MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD), was anyone NOT surprised when Vera killed Robert the first chance she got?
Come on.
As Chris and I have decided to finally have a Twin Peaks themed Halloween party, we have been carving our way through the series. We just found out who killed Laura Palmer and now have only the 15 or so shitty, meandering episodes to look forward to.
It's not all bad though, we get to see David Duchovny in one of my favorite roles of his, as well as....uh....
Once the viewer discovers the secret of Laura's demise, they can watch Fire Walk With Me, a Lynch film that came out a year or so after the series that details the days leading up to Laura's death.
It also stars David Bowie and might or might not have him turn into a talking monkey.
I...am not kidding...
"I don't wanna talk...about Judy..."
While this seems to "explain" more about the Black Lodge**, it also seems to muddy the waters even more.
God damn it,
I love the concept of the Black Lodge, but everything is just so unclear...argh.
It's annoying to not have things spelled out for oneself from time to time, especially when I want them spelled out.
I also forgot that Kiefer Sutherland is in FWWM.
Good times.
Before launching into Twin Peaks, however, I'd had a hankering to rewatch Lost Highway and did so. That is still a great Lynch film, my favorite, in fact.
I used to think I had a handle on what was going on, and I did...until the last fifteen minutes or so.
See, I had thought that, if you just accept some basic truths about Pullman and Getty's characters and the nature of time that everything makes total sense.
I was wrong.
You win this one as well, David...
Henry Rollins nails it once again.
Did I mention that I finished Alphas?
Yeah.
You know, I knew, going in, that the series ended on a cliffhanger, but, come on guys, shit.
On September 12th, I watched all of Derek, the new Ricky Gervais show.
While I'm happy he's not rehashing The Office or Extras or Life's Too Short, I feel like the show was a bit too intentional. Yes, it was emotional and heartfelt and all that, but it felt too well planned.
Here's where the viewer will get weepy and here's where we make the tears fall. Now, a joke fro the gross, comic relief guy, now BANG more tears!
Can an argument be made that all shows go for the same effect? Sure, but, knowing Gervais' history and how smart he is, I felt his hand too heavily on Derek.
Major props to Karl Pilkington for utterly nailing this though. I'm glad Gervais stopped torturing the poor guy, although, I can't help feel that Gervais turned to him at one point and said something like, "You are my Derek."
AND SPEAKING OF NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES, Chris and I took in Hemlock Grove.
If Twilight is vampires and werewolves for idiot tweens and True Blood is vampires and werewolves for horny twenty somethings, Hemlock Grove is vampires and werewolves for faggy, art house junkies.
Who like funny accents.
I'm interested in seeing where this goes, although I feel that, while trying to walk that thin line between giving too much away and not explaining enough by the end of their first season that they sort of ended up on the latter side.
Whoooole lot of questions up in this bee hatch.
And a lot of dead folks.
BREAKING BAD.
I'd seen the whole show up to that hellish break in the final season and held off watching anything until yesterday, during which I watched the first five or so episodes of the final, final season.
God...the evolution...
One thing...even though they're doing some really great stuff, I'm hoping the cat and mouse game between those two people who are having a cat and mouse game ends soon.
The last episode I saw ended with an all out firefight between some folks*** and if everyone walks away from that unscathed I'll...well, I'll probably not care and scream until I've seen the whole show.
Man did shit gets fucked up or what...
What is television going to do after this show ends?
And, finally, I just finished watched the first episode of Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Pretty happy with it so far. A solid start.
My only problem is with Chloe Bennet, who plays Elisha Dushku-spore, "Skye".
In fact, I actually thought she was Dushku until, oh, four days ago?
It's my opinion that Dushku ruined Dollhouse (along with the fucks at Fox), and that Bennet is going to ruin this.
But.
Apparently, a lot of people are loving her, so, knowing Whedon, she's either going to die or be made legitimately cool.
As for Coulson and what he really is, I heard something somewhere that he would make a great Vision in the next Avengers movie and I think that is more than feasible.
What I want from this show is to further expand the universe of the films and this is a perfect opportunity to introduce and explain things without having to take up all that valuable big screen time doing so.
And also some Ultron teases.
So far, they're on track; bringing Extremis back, but revealing that someone has taken it and altered it. Nice.
As long as they stick with basing stuff on the comics/film universe and not going too crazy with totally original content that no one really cares about, I'm happy.
I would also like to see some of the characters from the movies, although, yes, money, I know.
But, is it too naive of me to hope that their commitment to their characters and their love and respect and gratitude to the fans who spent over a billion dollars on their movies deserve oh of course not.
The money.
Well, even without the biggies, I suppose there's more than enough to keep us geeks happy...although a S.H.I.E.L.D. show without Hawkeye, Black Widow and Fury is kind of dumb.
Anyway.
Yes.
Be sure to subscribe to my podcast**** and visit my web site***** and come to me with anything creative stuff you're interested in.
I'm still turgid with creativity and up for most anything.
* HA HA HA HA.
** As much as any David Lynch movie "explains" anything about anything
*** Some folks with astonishingly bad aim...like Empire clones without eyes bad.
**** See *
***** See ****
Showing posts with label Media. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Media. Show all posts
9.25.2013
8.27.2013
I Made A Sandwich Out Of Media. A Media Sandwich.
The bread.
Was media.
The filling.
Was media.
The trimmings.
Was media.
After having it in my home for OVER EIGHT MONTHS, I finally watched David Lynch's fucking The Elephant Man. While I think Lynch did an amazing job of making the movie feel like it was from the 50's, I feel like his signature...uh...Lynchiness kind of got in the way of a really solid story; luckily, he kept his filmic fugues to a minimum and they didn't really affect anything. Hopkins did an awesome job as did, of course, John Hurt. I guess my only problem is when that crowd bursts into Merrick's room, it gets too cartoony and some of the seriousness and trauma of the experience was lost.
Then there's the fact that that whole thing could have easily been avoided if there had been, you know, curtains on the window or...oh, I don't know, a fucking door that could be locked.
He could have also told Hopkins that the Cockney fuckbag was harassing him.
Either way, my eyes were wet the whole time.
Fuck those British fucks for messing with that poor guy.
While in L.A., I had the pleasure of sitting down with friend, actor and armature taxidermist, Graham Skipper and interviewing him for my podcast. He gave me a pile of cool shit to check out (which I will soon consume and report on the moment I have time) and also reminded me of a separate pile of cool sit that I had never seen or had forgotten I had seen. One such shitlet was the original, 1974 version of The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. Much like the first Friday the 13th movie, I feel like TCSM spawned a lot of those trite horror tropes we suffer through today; namely, the seemingly endless running and screaming.
Jesus fucking Christ.
I was rooting for Leatherface.
Partly because those goddamn hippies deserved what they got and partly just to stop the screaming.
Then there was the "going crazy" dinner scene. I can just hear the director: "You three, laugh more! You, cry! Cameraman, zoom in and out on her eyes! More! MORE!!!"
Ugh.
Also: I have never felt less sympathetic for a handicapped character before. He was fat and obnoxious and complaining the whole time and the moment he was vivisected by Mr. Face was one of the most rewarding moments of the film. I guess it's true what they say: even those brave souls living with physical challenges can still be annoying assholes.
Rest in pieces, Franklin, I hope they use your skin for a bath mat.
I will say that it was interesting not to have everything wrapped up and explained for a change. It felt more real and chaotic.
Two alternate titles:
Hitchhikers: No, Dude. Never.
And
In Thirty Years, Rob Zombie Is Going To Write This Movie A Love Letter
Another one of Graham's recommends was Attack The Block, something I completely missed because I had confused it was some shitty American action movie involving police.
While I dug this, I had a lot of trouble seeing those kids as protagonists and rooting for them because of their attack on that woman at the start. I understand that was kind of the point, but what they ended up doing never really redeemed them for me. Maybe I'm too much of a feminist, but, yeah, I think those little shits deserved a bit more suffering.
I also thought Al Swearegen was the bad guy before they introduced Cy Tolliver.
Nick Frost was, obviously, gold, as were those two little kids. While this wasn't exactly Shaun of the Dead with aliens, it was almost Shaun of the Dead with aliens. And that should count for something.
I would like to thank The Streets and Jamie T. for the dialect lessons that allowed me to fully enjoy this film.
So...you know how we all have those friends who haven't seen ______ and it just makes us sick or furious or whatever?
Yeah, I had never seen Blade Runner until a few nights ago.*
And...you know how there are those movies that sort of need to be seen at a certain point in one's life in order to have the proper impact and effect? Movies like The Goonies, Heathers, Labyrinth etc? I think this might count as one such movie. Which is not to say I didn't like it or dig what was going on, I just felt that, after all the talk and hype and homages and with how deep it's sunk into sci-fi culture and everything that there would be more to it. I also haven't read Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep?, but, if it's related to Blade Runner in the same fashion We Can Remember It For You Wholesale is related to Total Recall, well, it probably won't be of much help.
I think the problem I had was that they set up this awesome future world but you only get a little glimpse of it before Harrison Ford and Rutger Hauer (in one of the most terrifying roles I have ever fucking seen him in) start chasing each other around and playing Touchcock.
Also, two questions for you: was M. Emmet Walsh ever young?
And can we sue someone over D.C. Comics totally stealing the idea for Harley Quinn from Daryl Hannah in this movie?
In addition, I would like to go on record as stating that Daryl Hannah is superhot and that I'd give her a VK test any day.
Right before she kicks me through a fucking wall.
Rowr.
On a recommend from Jen Rock and the ever-ebullient Autumn Conkle, I have started watching Alphas despite the fact that it only got two seasons and that the second season ends on an unresolved cliffhanger. It walks a thin line between X-Men and Heroes but has been enjoyable enough to keep my attention.
It might also be one of my favorite roles for Summer Glau AKA one of the only roles I have seen her in without autism or being a robot or being a lab rat or being a robot with autism powered by a lab rat.
I still think she needs a good, home-cooked meal though.
She's wasting away.
I enjoyed the whole thing with Anna and Gary, but not a whole lot else is popping out for me. I like the episodes that feed into the larger story as opposed to the wacky villain one-offs or the random "character's past" episodes, especially since I know there is only a finite number of episodes left.
I also like playing the game where I name the D.C. or Marvel counterpart to whatever character they introduce in Alphas.
Chris and I have just finished the most recent season of Mad Men which, at the risk of sounding ignorant and plebeian, I feel is just doing shit to do it for no real discernable reason.
Let's make Don a dick in this episode but then do something nice in this episode.
Let's make Peter continue to want things. To have.**
Roger makes a sad, funny, sharp joke!!!
Shoot that dude in the face with a fucking shotgun...hang on...did that actually happen?
While I am very much looking forward to what happens next...I can't really really prepare my mind for it.
Is it masterfully crafted subtly or prolonged, exaggerated cockstroking, punctuated by a fast and messy spurt of sticky consequences?
Also: Christina Hendricks remains hotter than forty suns on fire.
And, finally, I just got back into Californication after completely forgetting about it for two whole seasons.
And, yes, while the show does really only revolve around how naughty David Duchovny is while either being with or trying to be with his ex-wife, I enjoy it for what it is: an adult, serialized televising show based on Porky's.
I also love Pam Aldon, Stephen Tobolowsky, the passive aggression (and aggressive aggression) between Jason Baghe and Duchovny, and the bromance between Even Handler and Duchovny.
Plus, the fifth season has RZA in it, and I firmly believe there is not one show or movie out today that could not be improved by his presence.
I will admit that the easy pace and laid back attitude towards everything makes me not want to move to California, but, a.) I am a pretty high strung dude, and, b.) this is a television show shot in the Czech Republic, so I probably shouldn't put too much stock in it.
Whew.
So there's that.
Coming soon, thanks to Mr. Skipper's kind recommendation: Possession, Bellflower and XTRO.
* OR I did see it and it left no impression on me. For whatever reason.
** HOW COULD ANYONE CHEAT ON HIS WIFE SHE IS SO UNCONTROLLABLY HOT YOU DUMB ASSFACE?!?!?!? ***
*** LOTS of cognitive dissonance related to Allison Brie when I happen to watch both Mad Men and Community. "I have the weirdest boner..."
Was media.
The filling.
Was media.
The trimmings.
Was media.
After having it in my home for OVER EIGHT MONTHS, I finally watched David Lynch's fucking The Elephant Man. While I think Lynch did an amazing job of making the movie feel like it was from the 50's, I feel like his signature...uh...Lynchiness kind of got in the way of a really solid story; luckily, he kept his filmic fugues to a minimum and they didn't really affect anything. Hopkins did an awesome job as did, of course, John Hurt. I guess my only problem is when that crowd bursts into Merrick's room, it gets too cartoony and some of the seriousness and trauma of the experience was lost.
Then there's the fact that that whole thing could have easily been avoided if there had been, you know, curtains on the window or...oh, I don't know, a fucking door that could be locked.
He could have also told Hopkins that the Cockney fuckbag was harassing him.
Either way, my eyes were wet the whole time.
Fuck those British fucks for messing with that poor guy.
While in L.A., I had the pleasure of sitting down with friend, actor and armature taxidermist, Graham Skipper and interviewing him for my podcast. He gave me a pile of cool shit to check out (which I will soon consume and report on the moment I have time) and also reminded me of a separate pile of cool sit that I had never seen or had forgotten I had seen. One such shitlet was the original, 1974 version of The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. Much like the first Friday the 13th movie, I feel like TCSM spawned a lot of those trite horror tropes we suffer through today; namely, the seemingly endless running and screaming.
Jesus fucking Christ.
I was rooting for Leatherface.
Partly because those goddamn hippies deserved what they got and partly just to stop the screaming.
Then there was the "going crazy" dinner scene. I can just hear the director: "You three, laugh more! You, cry! Cameraman, zoom in and out on her eyes! More! MORE!!!"
Ugh.
Also: I have never felt less sympathetic for a handicapped character before. He was fat and obnoxious and complaining the whole time and the moment he was vivisected by Mr. Face was one of the most rewarding moments of the film. I guess it's true what they say: even those brave souls living with physical challenges can still be annoying assholes.
Rest in pieces, Franklin, I hope they use your skin for a bath mat.
I will say that it was interesting not to have everything wrapped up and explained for a change. It felt more real and chaotic.
Two alternate titles:
Hitchhikers: No, Dude. Never.
And
In Thirty Years, Rob Zombie Is Going To Write This Movie A Love Letter
Another one of Graham's recommends was Attack The Block, something I completely missed because I had confused it was some shitty American action movie involving police.
While I dug this, I had a lot of trouble seeing those kids as protagonists and rooting for them because of their attack on that woman at the start. I understand that was kind of the point, but what they ended up doing never really redeemed them for me. Maybe I'm too much of a feminist, but, yeah, I think those little shits deserved a bit more suffering.
I also thought Al Swearegen was the bad guy before they introduced Cy Tolliver.
Nick Frost was, obviously, gold, as were those two little kids. While this wasn't exactly Shaun of the Dead with aliens, it was almost Shaun of the Dead with aliens. And that should count for something.
I would like to thank The Streets and Jamie T. for the dialect lessons that allowed me to fully enjoy this film.
So...you know how we all have those friends who haven't seen ______ and it just makes us sick or furious or whatever?
Yeah, I had never seen Blade Runner until a few nights ago.*
And...you know how there are those movies that sort of need to be seen at a certain point in one's life in order to have the proper impact and effect? Movies like The Goonies, Heathers, Labyrinth etc? I think this might count as one such movie. Which is not to say I didn't like it or dig what was going on, I just felt that, after all the talk and hype and homages and with how deep it's sunk into sci-fi culture and everything that there would be more to it. I also haven't read Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep?, but, if it's related to Blade Runner in the same fashion We Can Remember It For You Wholesale is related to Total Recall, well, it probably won't be of much help.
I think the problem I had was that they set up this awesome future world but you only get a little glimpse of it before Harrison Ford and Rutger Hauer (in one of the most terrifying roles I have ever fucking seen him in) start chasing each other around and playing Touchcock.
Also, two questions for you: was M. Emmet Walsh ever young?
And can we sue someone over D.C. Comics totally stealing the idea for Harley Quinn from Daryl Hannah in this movie?
In addition, I would like to go on record as stating that Daryl Hannah is superhot and that I'd give her a VK test any day.
Right before she kicks me through a fucking wall.
Rowr.
On a recommend from Jen Rock and the ever-ebullient Autumn Conkle, I have started watching Alphas despite the fact that it only got two seasons and that the second season ends on an unresolved cliffhanger. It walks a thin line between X-Men and Heroes but has been enjoyable enough to keep my attention.
It might also be one of my favorite roles for Summer Glau AKA one of the only roles I have seen her in without autism or being a robot or being a lab rat or being a robot with autism powered by a lab rat.
I still think she needs a good, home-cooked meal though.
She's wasting away.
I enjoyed the whole thing with Anna and Gary, but not a whole lot else is popping out for me. I like the episodes that feed into the larger story as opposed to the wacky villain one-offs or the random "character's past" episodes, especially since I know there is only a finite number of episodes left.
I also like playing the game where I name the D.C. or Marvel counterpart to whatever character they introduce in Alphas.
Chris and I have just finished the most recent season of Mad Men which, at the risk of sounding ignorant and plebeian, I feel is just doing shit to do it for no real discernable reason.
Let's make Don a dick in this episode but then do something nice in this episode.
Let's make Peter continue to want things. To have.**
Roger makes a sad, funny, sharp joke!!!
Shoot that dude in the face with a fucking shotgun...hang on...did that actually happen?
While I am very much looking forward to what happens next...I can't really really prepare my mind for it.
Is it masterfully crafted subtly or prolonged, exaggerated cockstroking, punctuated by a fast and messy spurt of sticky consequences?
Also: Christina Hendricks remains hotter than forty suns on fire.
And, finally, I just got back into Californication after completely forgetting about it for two whole seasons.
And, yes, while the show does really only revolve around how naughty David Duchovny is while either being with or trying to be with his ex-wife, I enjoy it for what it is: an adult, serialized televising show based on Porky's.
I also love Pam Aldon, Stephen Tobolowsky, the passive aggression (and aggressive aggression) between Jason Baghe and Duchovny, and the bromance between Even Handler and Duchovny.
Plus, the fifth season has RZA in it, and I firmly believe there is not one show or movie out today that could not be improved by his presence.
I will admit that the easy pace and laid back attitude towards everything makes me not want to move to California, but, a.) I am a pretty high strung dude, and, b.) this is a television show shot in the Czech Republic, so I probably shouldn't put too much stock in it.
Whew.
So there's that.
Coming soon, thanks to Mr. Skipper's kind recommendation: Possession, Bellflower and XTRO.
* OR I did see it and it left no impression on me. For whatever reason.
** HOW COULD ANYONE CHEAT ON HIS WIFE SHE IS SO UNCONTROLLABLY HOT YOU DUMB ASSFACE?!?!?!? ***
*** LOTS of cognitive dissonance related to Allison Brie when I happen to watch both Mad Men and Community. "I have the weirdest boner..."
7.03.2013
Media Ga Ga
Chris and I have finally finished the long-awaited fourth season of Arrested Development!!!!!
And I'm ready to complain now.
Everything was just too disconnected.
While I did enjoy at the stuff occurring simultaneously, the parts were just too detached from the whole.
When the very first episode was "Michael's Arrested Development", I thought, okay, cool, good idea, let's give each of the family members an episode to catch us up and then, after all nine of them have been reintroduced, boom, make me smile. But, when every single episode focused only on one character, sometimes not even featuring the other actors...man, was that shitty.
And then there's the lack of anyone getting any resolution...
I know that there were only two days when all nine actors were together and I think that is fucking ridiculous. Every interview these guys have done from the last decade has included a question about the Arrested Development movie or a reunion special or whatever and each one of them said something along the lines of, "Yeah, I would love to."
Well, shit, guys, if you really wanted to do it so badly, was there honestly no way to shift something to make a brand new season of one of the best television shows in recent memory work better?
Two days?!
Now that everyone has accepted this new season into their hearts we can get everybody in the same room for a whole week next time.
An ensemble piece without an ensemble is pointless.
Set some time aside and make this as amazing as we all know it can be.
Two more seasons and then you can all disband for another ten years.
And, having finished Batman: The Brave and The Bold (which was a singular pleasure; actually got a little choked up during that last episode), I have jumped right into Young Justice.
And I am loving the hell out of it.
The writers don't rely on the Justice League to solve all their problems nor do they ignore the fact that Batman and Superman exist in this world.
And the voice actors?
Peter MacNicol as Professor Ivo, Danny Trejo as Bane, Alan Tudyk as Green Arrow, Nolan North as everybody and Rob Lowe doing a perfect Captain Marvel, capturing that adult child so well.
Tight.
The storylines have all been pretty solid thus far as well (didn't dig the one with the smart animals and the Brain. I just can't fear this guy. Probably the outrageous accent...), although I'm only about three quarters through the first season. They're doing an excellent job of forming a greater narrative with the Light and I can't wait to see what crazy shit is about to happen.
Plus, aside from the usual superhero punching thing, I haven't ever seen an abandoned son storyline like this, and with Superman? Way to take him off a pedestal.
And then, after its second season, Cartoon Network cancelled it.
Yes, it was in favor of the new, dark Batman, but, based on what I've seen of Beware The Batman, it appears as if they've gone the direction of "Batman is an alien in a Playstation One game".
Slow.
Clap.
Who has ever been impressed by those shitty, late 90's POV graphics?
OTHER than someone from the late 90's?
Just ignore me.
I'm ornery.
After Young Justice, I plan to launch right into Arrow, although I don't really know anything about it except that it was pretty well received.
And, speaking of superhero things, I got my ass to see Man of Steel this afternoon.
WHO WANTS TO HEAR WHAT I THOUGHT ABOUT IT????
Here's the short version.
Loved dude as Superman and Clark Kent, plus, I would kill one child a day for the rest of my life if it meant I'd be that ripped.
And not just ugly children, like, really cute children begging for me not to kill them.
I didn't love Amy Adams as Lois Lane. She just doesn't seem ballsy enough, you know?
Crazy or not, Margot Kidder had balls 'til Tuesday.
And pink underwear.
Loved Zod. Shannon did exactly what I thought he was going to do, namely, be awesome.
As an addendum, I would like to state that I would be happy happy happy if I never saw another Kryptonian in another Superman movie ever again.
Except for Kara Zor El.
As long as we don't have to sit through her fucking origin as well.
"Needs more flashbacks."
That was me being facetious.
And witty.
And handsome.
Now, I had heard a lot of negative stuff about the superstrong guy punch up that takes place at the end of the movie, but, you know? I was okay with it.
It wasn't original or interesting, but, plotwise, it made sense. There are two crazy superstrong guys brawling with one another and they happen to be in a city.
What?
If they do this ever again though...then you have a perfectly valid reason to get upset.
I'm done with origin stories.
I am very happy with where the Marvel movies are because we no longer have to spend the first half of the movie learning about the character's fucking parents.
I love the hints of things to come, such as introducing S.T.A.R. Labs, Dr. Hamilton and Carol Ferris, as well as those well placed Wayne Enterprises and Lexcorp logos. Plus, if they decide to count the shitty Green Lantern movie in this universe, then we've got Amanda Waller as well...which means we've got potential for Cadmus.
But.
I will never see an Aquaman movie*, nor will I ever be afraid of someone called Ocean Master.
All in all, yes, it was a disappointment, but you can't have The Dark Knight without Batman Begins.
If they fuck this next one up though...then...Lenny...you....will have saved the lives of millions of registered voters.
* Unless he's played by Alexander Skarsgard...and then he and Superman have an ab contest.**
** Everybody wins.
And I'm ready to complain now.
Everything was just too disconnected.
While I did enjoy at the stuff occurring simultaneously, the parts were just too detached from the whole.
When the very first episode was "Michael's Arrested Development", I thought, okay, cool, good idea, let's give each of the family members an episode to catch us up and then, after all nine of them have been reintroduced, boom, make me smile. But, when every single episode focused only on one character, sometimes not even featuring the other actors...man, was that shitty.
And then there's the lack of anyone getting any resolution...
I know that there were only two days when all nine actors were together and I think that is fucking ridiculous. Every interview these guys have done from the last decade has included a question about the Arrested Development movie or a reunion special or whatever and each one of them said something along the lines of, "Yeah, I would love to."
Well, shit, guys, if you really wanted to do it so badly, was there honestly no way to shift something to make a brand new season of one of the best television shows in recent memory work better?
Two days?!
Now that everyone has accepted this new season into their hearts we can get everybody in the same room for a whole week next time.
An ensemble piece without an ensemble is pointless.
Set some time aside and make this as amazing as we all know it can be.
Two more seasons and then you can all disband for another ten years.
And, having finished Batman: The Brave and The Bold (which was a singular pleasure; actually got a little choked up during that last episode), I have jumped right into Young Justice.
And I am loving the hell out of it.
The writers don't rely on the Justice League to solve all their problems nor do they ignore the fact that Batman and Superman exist in this world.
And the voice actors?
Peter MacNicol as Professor Ivo, Danny Trejo as Bane, Alan Tudyk as Green Arrow, Nolan North as everybody and Rob Lowe doing a perfect Captain Marvel, capturing that adult child so well.
Tight.
The storylines have all been pretty solid thus far as well (didn't dig the one with the smart animals and the Brain. I just can't fear this guy. Probably the outrageous accent...), although I'm only about three quarters through the first season. They're doing an excellent job of forming a greater narrative with the Light and I can't wait to see what crazy shit is about to happen.
Plus, aside from the usual superhero punching thing, I haven't ever seen an abandoned son storyline like this, and with Superman? Way to take him off a pedestal.
And then, after its second season, Cartoon Network cancelled it.
Yes, it was in favor of the new, dark Batman, but, based on what I've seen of Beware The Batman, it appears as if they've gone the direction of "Batman is an alien in a Playstation One game".
Slow.
Clap.
Who has ever been impressed by those shitty, late 90's POV graphics?
OTHER than someone from the late 90's?
Just ignore me.
I'm ornery.
After Young Justice, I plan to launch right into Arrow, although I don't really know anything about it except that it was pretty well received.
And, speaking of superhero things, I got my ass to see Man of Steel this afternoon.
WHO WANTS TO HEAR WHAT I THOUGHT ABOUT IT????
Here's the short version.
Loved dude as Superman and Clark Kent, plus, I would kill one child a day for the rest of my life if it meant I'd be that ripped.
And not just ugly children, like, really cute children begging for me not to kill them.
I didn't love Amy Adams as Lois Lane. She just doesn't seem ballsy enough, you know?
Crazy or not, Margot Kidder had balls 'til Tuesday.
And pink underwear.
Loved Zod. Shannon did exactly what I thought he was going to do, namely, be awesome.
As an addendum, I would like to state that I would be happy happy happy if I never saw another Kryptonian in another Superman movie ever again.
Except for Kara Zor El.
As long as we don't have to sit through her fucking origin as well.
"Needs more flashbacks."
That was me being facetious.
And witty.
And handsome.
Now, I had heard a lot of negative stuff about the superstrong guy punch up that takes place at the end of the movie, but, you know? I was okay with it.
It wasn't original or interesting, but, plotwise, it made sense. There are two crazy superstrong guys brawling with one another and they happen to be in a city.
What?
If they do this ever again though...then you have a perfectly valid reason to get upset.
I'm done with origin stories.
I am very happy with where the Marvel movies are because we no longer have to spend the first half of the movie learning about the character's fucking parents.
I love the hints of things to come, such as introducing S.T.A.R. Labs, Dr. Hamilton and Carol Ferris, as well as those well placed Wayne Enterprises and Lexcorp logos. Plus, if they decide to count the shitty Green Lantern movie in this universe, then we've got Amanda Waller as well...which means we've got potential for Cadmus.
But.
I will never see an Aquaman movie*, nor will I ever be afraid of someone called Ocean Master.
All in all, yes, it was a disappointment, but you can't have The Dark Knight without Batman Begins.
If they fuck this next one up though...then...Lenny...you....will have saved the lives of millions of registered voters.
* Unless he's played by Alexander Skarsgard...and then he and Superman have an ab contest.**
** Everybody wins.
6.24.2013
Today's News
Earlier today, I had an audition that, based on the script, was for a company that manufactures and sells meaningful hugs.
The text was simple, short and just the way to start the week.
I then boogied over to Nutmeg here I recorded some really niche shit for folks who know about shipping things via trains. The company is called CSX and I said the words "intermodal rail transportation" more times than I would like to remember.
I'm talkin' to MAGNATES, PEOPLE!!!
So, that happened.
Then there is the new podcast I'm involved with, The Electromagnetic Theater. It launches on July 1st and will release one episode per week for...five weeks? Of the five episodes, I believe I'm in all of them in some capacity or other.
Think...radio plays...
As for MY podcast, digressive_obscenity, two episodes of the second wave have been recorded, one of which has been edited and, at the moment, four more are scheduled, with one or two more still in the works. Very exciting stuff...maybe.
Then, there is media!!!!!
I have since finished Remember Me and, while the game was way too short, in my opinion, I did enjoy myself. I'd like to see what they'll do with a sequel set in the same world, this time with a lot more remixing of memories, perhaps with a bit more subtlety.
Alongside that, Chris and I are now four episode out from the end of the new season of Arrested Development. While things have gotten much, much better (thank you Maria Bamford, Ben Stiller and Tommy Tune(!)), there is now almost too much going on, although I'm sure they'll find some strange way to wrap things up. Seeing as everybody seems to want a fifth season, I'm hoping that'll happen...within this decade. Honestly, I think it was just the shock of watching season three and going right into season four, when all these people are suddenly ten years older. It's like that scene from Flight of the Navigator when the kid meets his family and they are all hella old.
By which I mean to say, creepy.
Very creepy.
The things freaking me out the most are how thick David Cross' neck has gotten and how less hot Portia De Rossi is.
Also, the best episodes are those that focus on Gob.
This is not an opinion, this is truth.
Other than that, there are mung beans.
The text was simple, short and just the way to start the week.
I then boogied over to Nutmeg here I recorded some really niche shit for folks who know about shipping things via trains. The company is called CSX and I said the words "intermodal rail transportation" more times than I would like to remember.
I'm talkin' to MAGNATES, PEOPLE!!!
So, that happened.
Then there is the new podcast I'm involved with, The Electromagnetic Theater. It launches on July 1st and will release one episode per week for...five weeks? Of the five episodes, I believe I'm in all of them in some capacity or other.
Think...radio plays...
As for MY podcast, digressive_obscenity, two episodes of the second wave have been recorded, one of which has been edited and, at the moment, four more are scheduled, with one or two more still in the works. Very exciting stuff...maybe.
Then, there is media!!!!!
I have since finished Remember Me and, while the game was way too short, in my opinion, I did enjoy myself. I'd like to see what they'll do with a sequel set in the same world, this time with a lot more remixing of memories, perhaps with a bit more subtlety.
Alongside that, Chris and I are now four episode out from the end of the new season of Arrested Development. While things have gotten much, much better (thank you Maria Bamford, Ben Stiller and Tommy Tune(!)), there is now almost too much going on, although I'm sure they'll find some strange way to wrap things up. Seeing as everybody seems to want a fifth season, I'm hoping that'll happen...within this decade. Honestly, I think it was just the shock of watching season three and going right into season four, when all these people are suddenly ten years older. It's like that scene from Flight of the Navigator when the kid meets his family and they are all hella old.
By which I mean to say, creepy.
Very creepy.
The things freaking me out the most are how thick David Cross' neck has gotten and how less hot Portia De Rossi is.
Also, the best episodes are those that focus on Gob.
This is not an opinion, this is truth.
Other than that, there are mung beans.
6.18.2013
The Time Has Come To Speak Of Media
And the consumption thereof.
In the recently:
I have finished Bioshock Infinite.
And I have some questions.
THERE ARE SPOILERS AHEAD FOR BIOSHOCK INFINITE.
I'm well versed in the whole "infinite, parallel universes" device. The fact, FACT that there exists at least two different universes in which the movie Clue stars Rowan Atkinson and John Cleese (respectively) as Wadsworth is something I look to for solace more often than you'd imagine.
So...first and foremost, how does killing Booker before he becomes Comstock in ONE universe cause everything to be all right? I mean, Elizabeth said there are a million million worlds that have Comstock in them and we only killed ONE Booker, thus eliminating ONE Comstock from being created.
Although people had a lot of issues with it, King's solution to this problem in the Dark Tower series to have a "key world" where things happened for good would have been helpful here.
Then there are the handful of times when Elizabeth opened tears into other worlds when something was totally insurmountably in the world they were in; when the gunsmith was dead or when the gunsmithing equipment was locked up. The idea that these worlds were different yet similar enough to continue with everything pretty much the way they were going...I don't know...didn't really work for me. Too much of a con incidence.
And then there's the lucky coincidence that, every time she opened a tear, it was into a world that had a Columbia and, more specifically, a Columbia right under their feet. I would have enjoyed once or twice her opening a tear into some patch of sky, tens of thousands of feet above the earth and then, maybe throwing an enemy through it or something.
All in all though: I really loved the game, I loved the world, I loved the detail and the time and space stuff, even if there were little strings for me to pick at. That final chapter, The Sea of Doors? Wow. Wow. Wow. Very cool stuff.
I'm hoping against hope that the DLC for Infinite is going to straight up be different worlds, each one starting from that sea of doors as a different set of Bookers and Elizabeths. It writes itself and would let them just have a fun time, like what Blood Dragon was to Far Cry 3.
Very excited for what comes next.
THUS ENDS THE SPOILERS FOR BIOSHOCK INFINITE.
After finishing Bioshock, rather than dive back into my growing pile of games I've had for months, I picked up Remember Me. I'm one or two episodes out from the end and, so far, I've been enjoying myself immensely.
The world is so rich and detailed and the story has kept my attention up to this point.
The combat is much like that from the recent Batman: Arkham games, but rougher and less good. Then again, you're Nilin, not Batman*. Like most people who have played this, the parts that stick out the most are the sections where you must "remix" a person's memories. It's a lot of fun and I've never really experienced anything like it in a game before. Some reviewer called the language "pretentious", but, you know what? I find it refreshing. I have yet to roll my eyes once during any dialog.
Oh, except for the insults the guards throw at the female protagonist.
*sigh*
While they aren't as creepy and horrible as when I was Catwoman in Arkham City, they're still pretty badly written and limited.
My only real problem with Remember Me is that, when you aren't slowly and methodically going through each level, looking in every darkened alley and obscured nook for collectibles that either expend the world or enhance your abilities, the game feels rather short.
Also, that boss fight with Madame.
Fuck that shit right off the bus.
Other than that; good stuff and I'm curious as to how they'll wrap this up...although I kind of have an idea.
Once I've completed Remember Me, I'm probably going to dive, face first, into The Last Of Us, despite that aforementioned ever-growing pile of games.
Because I want to.
Aside from interactive media, I have been taking in the kind one does NOT interact with.
Specifically: Batman: The Brave and The Bold.
The very first time I tried to watch this, it could not hold my interest. It was too silly. I think I may have been craving some Batman because Arkham City was about to come out...or Dark Knight Rises or something and I just was not in the mood for "stop you cad! And feel the righteous wrath of my justice fist!" or whatever. But, now that I have nothing to look forward to until October or November when Arkham Origins comes out, I have been able to enjoy the show fully for what it is.
Campy fun.
I also love the random, RANDOM ass C and D-list heroes and villains that pop up from time to time.
Hopefully this will keep me until Beware The Batman comes out, and, hopefully, Beware The Batman won't suck Penguin balls.
Then, there's the new season of Arrested Development. Chris and I had been plowing our way (slowly plowing our way) through the first three season in order to fully appreciate any callbacks or references or whatever and so we jumped right into season four after the final episode of season three.
Hm.
"Disconnected" is the word that comes to mind.
I understand that not everyone was there to shoot everything together, but, still, it feels very disconnected. We're still in the midst of the "catch up" episodes and, while you really do need those (it has been a decade), that amazing ensemble energy is sorely lacking. And there are still at least six more catch up episodes to go before the actually show can start, leaving us with only six or seven full on episodes that don't need to play catch up or spend time explaining things.
Quite a letdown so far.
And, finally, I saw Now You See Me a few days ago. Had some strong moments at the beginning, and then it stopped having strong moments. Overall, it felt like Ocean's Eleven with some magic and twists and the government.
I was also distracted by the fact that Lucius Fox, Alfred Pennyworth and the Hulk were all in this movie.
With Mark Zuckerberg and Mickey Knox.
I watch too much stuff.
Oh! Also! Reading! I have finally stopped reading comics, moving on to Phil's copy of TalesFrom The Dying Earth.
I've just started "Cugel's Saga" after finishing "Eyes of the Overworld".
It's good to get back into Vance after all these years. The guy really knew how to spin a yarn.
Also, how to write a book.
About a shitty little prick named Cugel.
I've also been doing quite a bit of business with the whole voice acty talk money thing.
But more on that later.
For I fear the something is something and now I must something.
* Of course, the game developers can't actually SAY that...
In the recently:
I have finished Bioshock Infinite.
And I have some questions.
THERE ARE SPOILERS AHEAD FOR BIOSHOCK INFINITE.
I'm well versed in the whole "infinite, parallel universes" device. The fact, FACT that there exists at least two different universes in which the movie Clue stars Rowan Atkinson and John Cleese (respectively) as Wadsworth is something I look to for solace more often than you'd imagine.
So...first and foremost, how does killing Booker before he becomes Comstock in ONE universe cause everything to be all right? I mean, Elizabeth said there are a million million worlds that have Comstock in them and we only killed ONE Booker, thus eliminating ONE Comstock from being created.
Although people had a lot of issues with it, King's solution to this problem in the Dark Tower series to have a "key world" where things happened for good would have been helpful here.
Then there are the handful of times when Elizabeth opened tears into other worlds when something was totally insurmountably in the world they were in; when the gunsmith was dead or when the gunsmithing equipment was locked up. The idea that these worlds were different yet similar enough to continue with everything pretty much the way they were going...I don't know...didn't really work for me. Too much of a con incidence.
And then there's the lucky coincidence that, every time she opened a tear, it was into a world that had a Columbia and, more specifically, a Columbia right under their feet. I would have enjoyed once or twice her opening a tear into some patch of sky, tens of thousands of feet above the earth and then, maybe throwing an enemy through it or something.
All in all though: I really loved the game, I loved the world, I loved the detail and the time and space stuff, even if there were little strings for me to pick at. That final chapter, The Sea of Doors? Wow. Wow. Wow. Very cool stuff.
I'm hoping against hope that the DLC for Infinite is going to straight up be different worlds, each one starting from that sea of doors as a different set of Bookers and Elizabeths. It writes itself and would let them just have a fun time, like what Blood Dragon was to Far Cry 3.
Very excited for what comes next.
THUS ENDS THE SPOILERS FOR BIOSHOCK INFINITE.
After finishing Bioshock, rather than dive back into my growing pile of games I've had for months, I picked up Remember Me. I'm one or two episodes out from the end and, so far, I've been enjoying myself immensely.
The world is so rich and detailed and the story has kept my attention up to this point.
The combat is much like that from the recent Batman: Arkham games, but rougher and less good. Then again, you're Nilin, not Batman*. Like most people who have played this, the parts that stick out the most are the sections where you must "remix" a person's memories. It's a lot of fun and I've never really experienced anything like it in a game before. Some reviewer called the language "pretentious", but, you know what? I find it refreshing. I have yet to roll my eyes once during any dialog.
Oh, except for the insults the guards throw at the female protagonist.
*sigh*
While they aren't as creepy and horrible as when I was Catwoman in Arkham City, they're still pretty badly written and limited.
My only real problem with Remember Me is that, when you aren't slowly and methodically going through each level, looking in every darkened alley and obscured nook for collectibles that either expend the world or enhance your abilities, the game feels rather short.
Also, that boss fight with Madame.
Fuck that shit right off the bus.
Other than that; good stuff and I'm curious as to how they'll wrap this up...although I kind of have an idea.
Once I've completed Remember Me, I'm probably going to dive, face first, into The Last Of Us, despite that aforementioned ever-growing pile of games.
Because I want to.
Aside from interactive media, I have been taking in the kind one does NOT interact with.
Specifically: Batman: The Brave and The Bold.
The very first time I tried to watch this, it could not hold my interest. It was too silly. I think I may have been craving some Batman because Arkham City was about to come out...or Dark Knight Rises or something and I just was not in the mood for "stop you cad! And feel the righteous wrath of my justice fist!" or whatever. But, now that I have nothing to look forward to until October or November when Arkham Origins comes out, I have been able to enjoy the show fully for what it is.
Campy fun.
I also love the random, RANDOM ass C and D-list heroes and villains that pop up from time to time.
Hopefully this will keep me until Beware The Batman comes out, and, hopefully, Beware The Batman won't suck Penguin balls.
Then, there's the new season of Arrested Development. Chris and I had been plowing our way (slowly plowing our way) through the first three season in order to fully appreciate any callbacks or references or whatever and so we jumped right into season four after the final episode of season three.
Hm.
"Disconnected" is the word that comes to mind.
I understand that not everyone was there to shoot everything together, but, still, it feels very disconnected. We're still in the midst of the "catch up" episodes and, while you really do need those (it has been a decade), that amazing ensemble energy is sorely lacking. And there are still at least six more catch up episodes to go before the actually show can start, leaving us with only six or seven full on episodes that don't need to play catch up or spend time explaining things.
Quite a letdown so far.
And, finally, I saw Now You See Me a few days ago. Had some strong moments at the beginning, and then it stopped having strong moments. Overall, it felt like Ocean's Eleven with some magic and twists and the government.
I was also distracted by the fact that Lucius Fox, Alfred Pennyworth and the Hulk were all in this movie.
With Mark Zuckerberg and Mickey Knox.
I watch too much stuff.
Oh! Also! Reading! I have finally stopped reading comics, moving on to Phil's copy of TalesFrom The Dying Earth.
I've just started "Cugel's Saga" after finishing "Eyes of the Overworld".
It's good to get back into Vance after all these years. The guy really knew how to spin a yarn.
Also, how to write a book.
About a shitty little prick named Cugel.
I've also been doing quite a bit of business with the whole voice acty talk money thing.
But more on that later.
For I fear the something is something and now I must something.
* Of course, the game developers can't actually SAY that...
5.15.2013
Here's A Little Movie 'Bout Dongs...And Hearts
I'm trying very hard to remember just why I wanted to check out Magic Mike...
But I cannot.
So let's just get this thing going: I watched Magic Mike last night. Originally, I was planning to watch it on my own (in case there were any embarrassing and confusing boners), but Chris ended up watching it with me.
See, she didn't get the appeal of male strippers (neither did I), but, by the end of this two hour movie...she kind of did.
I still do not.
A few things regarding Magic Mike: Tampa was the best setting for this; it was always washed out and seedy and desperate...just like Tampa.
When Mike casually mentions that, over the past six years he has only socked away $13,000, the movie lost a lot for me.
Let's break this down: Mike HAS to be making AT least $400 a night at the strip club (and that is a conservative estimate), the cost of living in Florida is dirt fucking cheap, he's running three other businesses and yet he only manages to put away a little over two thousand a year? Break that down even further and that's about $183 a month, about $42 a week and about $6 a day! That's, like, two less beers when you go out at night!
Then, there's the fact that all Mike wants it to stop stripping and make his silly furniture...even though you only see three pieces in the entire film and you NEVER see him building ANYTHING!
Wait.
Ami I missing the point of this movie?
It's that male strippers have it a LOT easier than female strippers, right?
Yes?
Okay, good.
Anyway, I've never seen him in anything else, but Tates is just the charmingest stripper I have ever seen.
Along with Magic Dong, I also finished the sixth and seventh season of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, the last two episodes of which reveal A LOT.
The Waitress' name*, Mac's name and that Dennis, after all the hinting and dancing around it, really DOES appear to be about two bad sexual encounters away from being an actual serial killer.
Other highlights from these seasons include the entirety of "Chardee MacDennis" (they need to do one of these per season), Charlie's simple question to Santa Claus, the manifestations of some of the...things from Charlie's "Dram Bok", the Jersey Shore episode (mainly beause they shot most of it in Ocean City, NJ, the site of BEECHOUZATRONICON XMAX ), plus the addition of both Mary Lynn Rajskub as Gail the Snail (SUCH A FUN PERFORMANCE) and Jason Sudeikis as Smitty.
Looking forward to seeing where they go with the serial killer thing...
Along with all this television and film that I've been watching like a PRO, I'm happy to announce that The Electromagnetic Theater will be launching soon and available on iTunes in a month or so.
This is the podcast/radio show thing I worked on a few months ago in which I play a whole bunch of different characters.
You can head over to http://electromagnetictheater.com/ for more info, although the site isn't up yet.
Don't worry, I'll let you know.
DON'T WORRY.
DON'T.
Shhhhh....
* It's inferred and I wouldn't be surprised if turns out to be a red herring.
But I cannot.
So let's just get this thing going: I watched Magic Mike last night. Originally, I was planning to watch it on my own (in case there were any embarrassing and confusing boners), but Chris ended up watching it with me.
See, she didn't get the appeal of male strippers (neither did I), but, by the end of this two hour movie...she kind of did.
I still do not.
A few things regarding Magic Mike: Tampa was the best setting for this; it was always washed out and seedy and desperate...just like Tampa.
When Mike casually mentions that, over the past six years he has only socked away $13,000, the movie lost a lot for me.
Let's break this down: Mike HAS to be making AT least $400 a night at the strip club (and that is a conservative estimate), the cost of living in Florida is dirt fucking cheap, he's running three other businesses and yet he only manages to put away a little over two thousand a year? Break that down even further and that's about $183 a month, about $42 a week and about $6 a day! That's, like, two less beers when you go out at night!
Then, there's the fact that all Mike wants it to stop stripping and make his silly furniture...even though you only see three pieces in the entire film and you NEVER see him building ANYTHING!
Wait.
Ami I missing the point of this movie?
It's that male strippers have it a LOT easier than female strippers, right?
Yes?
Okay, good.
Anyway, I've never seen him in anything else, but Tates is just the charmingest stripper I have ever seen.
Along with Magic Dong, I also finished the sixth and seventh season of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, the last two episodes of which reveal A LOT.
The Waitress' name*, Mac's name and that Dennis, after all the hinting and dancing around it, really DOES appear to be about two bad sexual encounters away from being an actual serial killer.
Other highlights from these seasons include the entirety of "Chardee MacDennis" (they need to do one of these per season), Charlie's simple question to Santa Claus, the manifestations of some of the...things from Charlie's "Dram Bok", the Jersey Shore episode (mainly beause they shot most of it in Ocean City, NJ, the site of BEECHOUZATRONICON XMAX ), plus the addition of both Mary Lynn Rajskub as Gail the Snail (SUCH A FUN PERFORMANCE) and Jason Sudeikis as Smitty.
Looking forward to seeing where they go with the serial killer thing...
Along with all this television and film that I've been watching like a PRO, I'm happy to announce that The Electromagnetic Theater will be launching soon and available on iTunes in a month or so.
This is the podcast/radio show thing I worked on a few months ago in which I play a whole bunch of different characters.
You can head over to http://electromagnetictheater.com/ for more info, although the site isn't up yet.
Don't worry, I'll let you know.
DON'T WORRY.
DON'T.
Shhhhh....
* It's inferred and I wouldn't be surprised if turns out to be a red herring.
5.06.2013
Media Salve
This weekend...aside from almost wrapping up my second audio book...I just soaked myself in media...
Chris and I finished the third season of Walking Dead...Spoilers!!!...the fact that they are stretching out the Governor plot line gives me a sinking feeling that they've kind of run dry for season four...despite the, literally, hundreds of issues of the graphic novel that are out.
I'm very happy that Andrea has finally shuffled off this mortal coil as she was just retarded this season.
"Muuuuh, mebbe I can haz help the Gubberber be nice and gud agen!!!! Fistanks full up HEDZ?! Naw...no warning signs there..."
Idiot.
Glen and Maggie getting married?
Meh.
Zombie fodder you have an emotional attachment to is still zombie fodder.
Carl losing every shred of his soul?
Now THAT is good* TV! And, when he called out his father for being a pussy and not doing what was best for the group?
Nice.
Seriously though, they could have killed the Governor, like, six times before THEY LOST HIM.
Ugh.
Never mind.
We also took in the remake of Total Recall.
Pretty solid.
Really cool design and future stuff. Didn't hate Jessica Biel. Lens flares used abundantly yet appropriately, J.J. I'm looking at you...
I liked the nods here and there to the first movie and was totally okay with the fact that Mars had NOTHING to do with anything.
Also, Bryan Cranston: elect him President than have him punch some guys.
On the whole, I liken this to the remake of Judge Dredd which I squirted over recently.
Mindless, yet well done action, cool future design etc.
If any of you saw TR and dug it, you'll probably dig Dredd.
Finished the fourth season of Archer in, what, two days?
More.
More, more, more.
And Jon Hamm was amazing.
Also watched the Comedians of Comedy Live thing on Netflix. Actually cried with laughter during Eugene Mirman's set.
I need to see him so I can feel emotions again.
Rewatched The Talented Mr. Ripley since the first time I saw it in theaters with Jeannie in Miami.
Very solid. Although Jesi Mullins and I discussed later on how neither of us get Paltrow as the most beautiful anything in the world. She's just too plain. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but, come on, the world is pretty freaking big.
Don't know if I've straight up come out and said this but: I enjoy Matt Damon.
I'm going on record.
I enjoy Matt Damon.
I also think Jude Law did a great job as a vain, overprivileged asshole.
And he has a great ass.
Unless that was a body double, in while case, shame on you, Jude.
Shame.
Tease.
Oh, and, Philip Seymour Hoffman!
I love to hate you!!!
Then, I finally got around to watching the RZA's movie, The Man With The Iron Fists.
Wow.
Wow wow wow.
This film is made of two things: kung fu and ridiculous.
He finally got to make his kung fu movie and holy fucking god shit does it deliver.
It is EXACTLY what you would expect from RZA, Tarentino and Eli Roth.
Seriously.
Think of what a kung fu movie made by these three would consist of and you have thought of this movie.
Oh, but first, add Russell Crowe as an oversexed, opium addicted government agent/assassin.
There you go.
Now you have thought of the movie.
Something interesting that I picked up on...there is hilariously graphic violence in this, violence to rival and overcome that which was seen in the Kill Bill films, but, although there is a whorehouse (run by a fucking bad ass Lucy Liu who comes equipped with a fucking blade fan), there is no nudity whatsoever.
There is a comment here...somewhere...I don't know where and I don't quite know what...but there is a comment there...
Maybe something about how violence is more commonplace and accepted than boobs.
Which is dumb.
I'd rather watch boobs than violence any day...then again, if Chris came home and saw me playing a video game that consisted of boobs rather than horrendous violence...actually, I have no idea how that would go down...
Let's move on.
Check out The Man Etc Fists.
It's just stupid great.
...and they're hoping to do a sequel!!!!!
Going back to horrendous violence for a moment, since I returned from the honeymoon, I have been digging into my pile of purchased yet unplayed video games.
I have finished Metal Gear Rising on both easy and normal and when I tried to play it on heard, I realized, once again, that I am not good at video games.
I think I might be finished with that game.
My time with it was short and mostly enjoyable, although it felt way too short to be a real Metal Gear game. I enjoyed the characters and story and all that, but, yeah, there needed to have been more Kojima-ness.
I might run through it once more, just to see if I missed anything (codec conversation whore...right here) and, although the first piece of DLC was panned, I might check that out as well.
I'm not really ready for the game to be over, I suppose...especially since the next real Metal Gear game isn't coming out for years.
One thing I will say: when you take out a fucking Metal Gear Ray with nothing but a SWORD and your massive balls in the fucking TUTORIAL?
Nice.
Aside from MGR, I jumped into Bioshock Infinite a few weeks ago and, while it is still just a god damn FPS, the story is SO intriguing...parallel universes have been introduced and I have been to three (that I know of) at this point. Have not finished it yet but I am wildly excited to do so.
By that time, Remember Me should be out and then The Last Of Us is right around the corner...even though I have a solid stack to make my way through along with those...sheesh.
BUT I have not just been soaking my balls in media since I got home!
I am one recording and editing session away from completing my second audio book, which will be released as a 13-part podcast before normal distribution as a complete work on the retail sites (Amazon, Audible, iTunes). Very, very excited for you to hear this.
It's hot.
Like...sexy hot.
So, if you've ever wanted to hear me read a sex scene...yeah...his one is for you...and decidedly not for members of my family.
So, do me a big up and don't mention this one to them.
Much thanks.
Also on this front, in eleven days, I shall pick up my brand new iMac from the Apple Store, at which point I shall install the new ProTools and begin the second wave of digressive_obscenity.
Why, you ask? Is it, perhaps, because of the thunderous response I received from my first wave of episodes?
Not at all! As far as I can tell, maybe 15 people have listened to said episodes! I'm doing this because I have a lot of fun and, as it turns out, its pretty easy to get in touch with the publicists for the bands/artists that you really like.
So, hopefully, the second wave should have a bit more...mass appeal, but, if it doesn't?
Fuck it.
I still have cool and interesting friend with whom I want to talk about things...and stuff...and boobs...
Aside from all this media-ball-soakage and DIY fame and fortune hunting, I'm also about to show up on a different podcast AS TOTALLY DIFFERENT PEOPLE!!! It's called Electromagnetic Theater and it should be up soon...I'll keep you posted.
Then there's the Speakaboos iTunes app, which should (hope hope hope) be launching at the end of May if everything goes well. I am ALL OVER Speakaboos.
Then, more Target radio spots starring me and my sexy voice mouth, plus a huge thing that might or might not happen!!!
HUGE!!!
MIGHT OR MIGHT NOT!!!!
And, as mentioned at some point before, we are finally commencing with shooting the pilot for Becca Kopec's web series, Just Super, in which I will wear a trenchcoat and might (OR MIGHT NOT!!!) be a pervert.
Whew.
Such busy!!!!!!
Such busy is me!!!!!!!
WOO WOO!!!!!!
* Read "horrifying and sad"
Chris and I finished the third season of Walking Dead...Spoilers!!!...the fact that they are stretching out the Governor plot line gives me a sinking feeling that they've kind of run dry for season four...despite the, literally, hundreds of issues of the graphic novel that are out.
I'm very happy that Andrea has finally shuffled off this mortal coil as she was just retarded this season.
"Muuuuh, mebbe I can haz help the Gubberber be nice and gud agen!!!! Fistanks full up HEDZ?! Naw...no warning signs there..."
Idiot.
Glen and Maggie getting married?
Meh.
Zombie fodder you have an emotional attachment to is still zombie fodder.
Carl losing every shred of his soul?
Now THAT is good* TV! And, when he called out his father for being a pussy and not doing what was best for the group?
Nice.
Seriously though, they could have killed the Governor, like, six times before THEY LOST HIM.
Ugh.
Never mind.
We also took in the remake of Total Recall.
Pretty solid.
Really cool design and future stuff. Didn't hate Jessica Biel. Lens flares used abundantly yet appropriately, J.J. I'm looking at you...
I liked the nods here and there to the first movie and was totally okay with the fact that Mars had NOTHING to do with anything.
Also, Bryan Cranston: elect him President than have him punch some guys.
On the whole, I liken this to the remake of Judge Dredd which I squirted over recently.
Mindless, yet well done action, cool future design etc.
If any of you saw TR and dug it, you'll probably dig Dredd.
Finished the fourth season of Archer in, what, two days?
More.
More, more, more.
And Jon Hamm was amazing.
Also watched the Comedians of Comedy Live thing on Netflix. Actually cried with laughter during Eugene Mirman's set.
I need to see him so I can feel emotions again.
Rewatched The Talented Mr. Ripley since the first time I saw it in theaters with Jeannie in Miami.
Very solid. Although Jesi Mullins and I discussed later on how neither of us get Paltrow as the most beautiful anything in the world. She's just too plain. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but, come on, the world is pretty freaking big.
Don't know if I've straight up come out and said this but: I enjoy Matt Damon.
I'm going on record.
I enjoy Matt Damon.
I also think Jude Law did a great job as a vain, overprivileged asshole.
And he has a great ass.
Unless that was a body double, in while case, shame on you, Jude.
Shame.
Tease.
Oh, and, Philip Seymour Hoffman!
I love to hate you!!!
Then, I finally got around to watching the RZA's movie, The Man With The Iron Fists.
Wow.
Wow wow wow.
This film is made of two things: kung fu and ridiculous.
He finally got to make his kung fu movie and holy fucking god shit does it deliver.
It is EXACTLY what you would expect from RZA, Tarentino and Eli Roth.
Seriously.
Think of what a kung fu movie made by these three would consist of and you have thought of this movie.
Oh, but first, add Russell Crowe as an oversexed, opium addicted government agent/assassin.
There you go.
Now you have thought of the movie.
Something interesting that I picked up on...there is hilariously graphic violence in this, violence to rival and overcome that which was seen in the Kill Bill films, but, although there is a whorehouse (run by a fucking bad ass Lucy Liu who comes equipped with a fucking blade fan), there is no nudity whatsoever.
There is a comment here...somewhere...I don't know where and I don't quite know what...but there is a comment there...
Maybe something about how violence is more commonplace and accepted than boobs.
Which is dumb.
I'd rather watch boobs than violence any day...then again, if Chris came home and saw me playing a video game that consisted of boobs rather than horrendous violence...actually, I have no idea how that would go down...
Let's move on.
Check out The Man Etc Fists.
It's just stupid great.
...and they're hoping to do a sequel!!!!!
Going back to horrendous violence for a moment, since I returned from the honeymoon, I have been digging into my pile of purchased yet unplayed video games.
I have finished Metal Gear Rising on both easy and normal and when I tried to play it on heard, I realized, once again, that I am not good at video games.
I think I might be finished with that game.
My time with it was short and mostly enjoyable, although it felt way too short to be a real Metal Gear game. I enjoyed the characters and story and all that, but, yeah, there needed to have been more Kojima-ness.
I might run through it once more, just to see if I missed anything (codec conversation whore...right here) and, although the first piece of DLC was panned, I might check that out as well.
I'm not really ready for the game to be over, I suppose...especially since the next real Metal Gear game isn't coming out for years.
One thing I will say: when you take out a fucking Metal Gear Ray with nothing but a SWORD and your massive balls in the fucking TUTORIAL?
Nice.
Aside from MGR, I jumped into Bioshock Infinite a few weeks ago and, while it is still just a god damn FPS, the story is SO intriguing...parallel universes have been introduced and I have been to three (that I know of) at this point. Have not finished it yet but I am wildly excited to do so.
By that time, Remember Me should be out and then The Last Of Us is right around the corner...even though I have a solid stack to make my way through along with those...sheesh.
BUT I have not just been soaking my balls in media since I got home!
I am one recording and editing session away from completing my second audio book, which will be released as a 13-part podcast before normal distribution as a complete work on the retail sites (Amazon, Audible, iTunes). Very, very excited for you to hear this.
It's hot.
Like...sexy hot.
So, if you've ever wanted to hear me read a sex scene...yeah...his one is for you...and decidedly not for members of my family.
So, do me a big up and don't mention this one to them.
Much thanks.
Also on this front, in eleven days, I shall pick up my brand new iMac from the Apple Store, at which point I shall install the new ProTools and begin the second wave of digressive_obscenity.
Why, you ask? Is it, perhaps, because of the thunderous response I received from my first wave of episodes?
Not at all! As far as I can tell, maybe 15 people have listened to said episodes! I'm doing this because I have a lot of fun and, as it turns out, its pretty easy to get in touch with the publicists for the bands/artists that you really like.
So, hopefully, the second wave should have a bit more...mass appeal, but, if it doesn't?
Fuck it.
I still have cool and interesting friend with whom I want to talk about things...and stuff...and boobs...
Aside from all this media-ball-soakage and DIY fame and fortune hunting, I'm also about to show up on a different podcast AS TOTALLY DIFFERENT PEOPLE!!! It's called Electromagnetic Theater and it should be up soon...I'll keep you posted.
Then there's the Speakaboos iTunes app, which should (hope hope hope) be launching at the end of May if everything goes well. I am ALL OVER Speakaboos.
Then, more Target radio spots starring me and my sexy voice mouth, plus a huge thing that might or might not happen!!!
HUGE!!!
MIGHT OR MIGHT NOT!!!!
And, as mentioned at some point before, we are finally commencing with shooting the pilot for Becca Kopec's web series, Just Super, in which I will wear a trenchcoat and might (OR MIGHT NOT!!!) be a pervert.
Whew.
Such busy!!!!!!
Such busy is me!!!!!!!
WOO WOO!!!!!!
* Read "horrifying and sad"
3.18.2013
Some Pun Involving The Word 'Target'
I had my third session with Target this morning recording the intro to their award submission and their case study for the Everyday Collection campaign.
Good times.
I also met Grace, the sexy whisperer in the TV and radio ads.
British.
Who knew?
Tomorrow, I have a tasty three hour chunk with Speakaboos and then three days of screaming, bloody panic as the wedding looms.
But enough about that.
MEDIA
I recently finished watching Full Metal Alchemist.
At times the lack of progress in that show was obnoxious, but, in the end, I suppose they wrapped things up nicely...I suppose. I love the Japaneseishness of it; the weird little freak outs and strange behavior. Armstrong, for instance, what the fuck was going on there? And why do all of the best Japanese heroes eat so much food? I'm thinking of Ed Elric, but also of Mugan and Jin in Samurai Champloo (which still might be my favorite anime, thank you Phil).
Such an odd culture...
I also just finished the second season of American Horror Story. Not as amazing as the first. Less obliteratingly sexy maids than I would have liked, although Satanic whore nuns that rape Voldemort's brother? An acceptable substitute. Acceptable.
It was very fun to see (most of) the cast from season one playing different characters. Can someone please give Jessica Lange an award?
Oh, and, if anyone had a problem with the insane amount of misogyny in season two, I'm sure that'll be addressed and toned down for season three...which takes place in Salem...most likely during the witch trials (is that capitalized?), but I wouldn't put it past the show to not bring up witches at all during the season and focus more on Yetis (is that capitalized?).
Other than that I have just finished the most recent Dresden Files book and I think I might just have to stop reading until all twenty six or whatever are out. While each book is its own thing, the ante just keeps getting upped...Butcher has talked about his "big, apocalypse trilogy" and I cannot wait for that to happen. One thing all this forced patience has taught me is to have pity on those poor bastards waiting for Dickface to finish the Fire and Ice books. Man, what a dong. I've said it before and I'll say it again, King was dragging his ass on those last three Dark Tower books until someone hit him with a fucking van.
So.
I'm not encouraging this behavior.
But.
You know.
Squeaky wheel, grease, etc.
I also had the surprising delight to watch Dredd recently.
Wow.
Okay, first off, I decided to watch this movie for one reason and one reason only: I had heard that Matt Berry's "Theme for Snuff Box" was used in it, not once, but twice. Now, if you've heard this song, then you know just how odd of a choice that sounds like and how intriguing the possibilities are.
So, yeah.
Guys...this is a really solid action movie. It's not even a dumb action movie, they did a great job.
First off, the plot completely justifies the use of 3D.
To be fair, I wasn't in on any of the meetings (AGAIN) and maybe this whole movie was build around 3D, BUT, even if that's the case...way to go Hollywood.
See, there's this drug called "slo-mo" that, when smoked, slows down time to 1% of its normal speed for the user.
Gratuitous slow motion and 3D justified in ONE SENTENCE.
I've only read a few Judge Dredd comics and pretty much everyone has been ridiculous and I'd seen the Stallone movie...which I'm going to stop thinking about*, so, my expectations were gub.
But, this wasn't a story about Judge Dredd; it was a Judge Dredd story.
More specifically a Judge Dredd story co-starring a smoking little redhead telepath who also knows kung fu.
The sets and tech and costumes are all amazing, perfect.
And, back to the 3D, when it's used, it's used sparingly and effectively...which I think might be a first in Hollywood movies.
The villain was pretty solid as well: she had pathos and ethos.
PATHOS AND ETHOS.
She didn't go over the top or have a monologue or anything like that, she was just cold and hard and scary...mainly because she bit this dude's dick off.
...pathos...
There was also one of the better uses of the "hacker" stock character as well. Yes, he was in a crazy looking server room with a huge bank of monitors set up in front of him, but his mannerisms and character depth were just great, nothing like our typical "computer nerd" or whatever.
Plus, he was listening to that Matt Berry song I mentioned.
Occasionally, there were some silly moments...like Urban's constant Stallone Snarl for no real reason, his accent bleeds through a bit at times...and a whole lot at other times (the first word spoken is "America" and it sounds nothing but British in his mouth), plus, the hot psychic actually says the line, "Wearing a helmet interferes with my psychic abilities"...which kind of sums up the whole movie right there.
I don't know, I could keep going, but it's been a while and all I remember is how solid the whole thing was...and then how sad I was when I found out that they are probably not going to do a sequel.
*sigh*
And, finally, last night I watched Argo, which was also pretty solid. Very glad to have avoided that "Argo fuck yourself" meme/quote/reference thing as it could have gotten old fast. Did anyone else notice that Ben Affleck didn't smile once in the film? Must have been the director's decision...
And Bryan Cranston? Cursing? Pure money gold.
Here's hoping we'll get some more cool CIA operations declassified so we can watch more cool movies.
All right.
I've done enough thinking.
Time to read some comic books.
* Except for the cameo by the amazing Ian Dury which is the only reason to ever watch that movie.
Good times.
I also met Grace, the sexy whisperer in the TV and radio ads.
British.
Who knew?
Tomorrow, I have a tasty three hour chunk with Speakaboos and then three days of screaming, bloody panic as the wedding looms.
But enough about that.
MEDIA
I recently finished watching Full Metal Alchemist.
At times the lack of progress in that show was obnoxious, but, in the end, I suppose they wrapped things up nicely...I suppose. I love the Japaneseishness of it; the weird little freak outs and strange behavior. Armstrong, for instance, what the fuck was going on there? And why do all of the best Japanese heroes eat so much food? I'm thinking of Ed Elric, but also of Mugan and Jin in Samurai Champloo (which still might be my favorite anime, thank you Phil).
Such an odd culture...
I also just finished the second season of American Horror Story. Not as amazing as the first. Less obliteratingly sexy maids than I would have liked, although Satanic whore nuns that rape Voldemort's brother? An acceptable substitute. Acceptable.
It was very fun to see (most of) the cast from season one playing different characters. Can someone please give Jessica Lange an award?
Oh, and, if anyone had a problem with the insane amount of misogyny in season two, I'm sure that'll be addressed and toned down for season three...which takes place in Salem...most likely during the witch trials (is that capitalized?), but I wouldn't put it past the show to not bring up witches at all during the season and focus more on Yetis (is that capitalized?).
Other than that I have just finished the most recent Dresden Files book and I think I might just have to stop reading until all twenty six or whatever are out. While each book is its own thing, the ante just keeps getting upped...Butcher has talked about his "big, apocalypse trilogy" and I cannot wait for that to happen. One thing all this forced patience has taught me is to have pity on those poor bastards waiting for Dickface to finish the Fire and Ice books. Man, what a dong. I've said it before and I'll say it again, King was dragging his ass on those last three Dark Tower books until someone hit him with a fucking van.
So.
I'm not encouraging this behavior.
But.
You know.
Squeaky wheel, grease, etc.
I also had the surprising delight to watch Dredd recently.
Wow.
Okay, first off, I decided to watch this movie for one reason and one reason only: I had heard that Matt Berry's "Theme for Snuff Box" was used in it, not once, but twice. Now, if you've heard this song, then you know just how odd of a choice that sounds like and how intriguing the possibilities are.
So, yeah.
Guys...this is a really solid action movie. It's not even a dumb action movie, they did a great job.
First off, the plot completely justifies the use of 3D.
To be fair, I wasn't in on any of the meetings (AGAIN) and maybe this whole movie was build around 3D, BUT, even if that's the case...way to go Hollywood.
See, there's this drug called "slo-mo" that, when smoked, slows down time to 1% of its normal speed for the user.
Gratuitous slow motion and 3D justified in ONE SENTENCE.
I've only read a few Judge Dredd comics and pretty much everyone has been ridiculous and I'd seen the Stallone movie...which I'm going to stop thinking about*, so, my expectations were gub.
But, this wasn't a story about Judge Dredd; it was a Judge Dredd story.
More specifically a Judge Dredd story co-starring a smoking little redhead telepath who also knows kung fu.
The sets and tech and costumes are all amazing, perfect.
And, back to the 3D, when it's used, it's used sparingly and effectively...which I think might be a first in Hollywood movies.
The villain was pretty solid as well: she had pathos and ethos.
PATHOS AND ETHOS.
She didn't go over the top or have a monologue or anything like that, she was just cold and hard and scary...mainly because she bit this dude's dick off.
...pathos...
There was also one of the better uses of the "hacker" stock character as well. Yes, he was in a crazy looking server room with a huge bank of monitors set up in front of him, but his mannerisms and character depth were just great, nothing like our typical "computer nerd" or whatever.
Plus, he was listening to that Matt Berry song I mentioned.
Occasionally, there were some silly moments...like Urban's constant Stallone Snarl for no real reason, his accent bleeds through a bit at times...and a whole lot at other times (the first word spoken is "America" and it sounds nothing but British in his mouth), plus, the hot psychic actually says the line, "Wearing a helmet interferes with my psychic abilities"...which kind of sums up the whole movie right there.
I don't know, I could keep going, but it's been a while and all I remember is how solid the whole thing was...and then how sad I was when I found out that they are probably not going to do a sequel.
*sigh*
And, finally, last night I watched Argo, which was also pretty solid. Very glad to have avoided that "Argo fuck yourself" meme/quote/reference thing as it could have gotten old fast. Did anyone else notice that Ben Affleck didn't smile once in the film? Must have been the director's decision...
And Bryan Cranston? Cursing? Pure money gold.
Here's hoping we'll get some more cool CIA operations declassified so we can watch more cool movies.
All right.
I've done enough thinking.
Time to read some comic books.
* Except for the cameo by the amazing Ian Dury which is the only reason to ever watch that movie.
3.12.2013
Beer. At Nine In The Morning
Just received word from my panicked agent that I booked a Bud Light voice over for tomorrow morning...at nine...in the morning...A.M.
It has something to do with March Madness, which, I think, is some sort of fungal rash, typically found around the genitals, specifically the anus region; like Athlete's Foot, but with more hives and burning and stink.
I'M JUST KIDDING!!!
I KNOW ALL ABOUT MARCH MADNESS!!!
It's when basketball fans act even more obnoxious and vicarious than usual.
And I am about to get paid ca$h money to rile them up even further...
This must be what Satan feels like.
Aside from beer, just yesterday I was called back in to do some more recording for Carrabba's, a chain of Italian restaurants that are better than Olive Garden.
10% of the time was spent actually recording while the other 90% was spent eating Goldfish and talking with the engineer, J.D. about how great this industry is and that someone in the industry can never complain to someone not in this industry about the industry or we'll sound like assholes.
Overpaid assholes.
Overpaid assholes who don't do nearly enough for what we are being paid.
On Thursday, both the 14th (Pi Day!!!) and the 21st, I have EVEN MORE SPEAKABOOS!!!!
The last time I was in, I did a villain, finally, although not an evil one, a repentant one...with a goo wand...
And, on Monday, I have another session with Target recording an introduction and breakdown video for their Everyday Collection campaign so they can submit the spots to awards and stuff...so...bacon.
All this and I'm about halfway through recording my second audio book. Thank the bleeding lord Jesus it's only a fraction of the size of Grind Show and that the longest recording session I've had has been just over an hour. I need to fucking soundproof my home...
Along with all this, Chris and I watched that Netflix series, House of Cards which wasn't as bad as one might expect for being an original series on Netflix and the second season of American Horror Story.
Four words: Ian McShane. Holy fuck.
Then there is the wedding.
May I just go on record as saying that Chris has done about 97% of the work?
Thank you.
We're stressed and dying and getting there and it's going to be awesome, but, before it's awesome, it's massive brain and butt fuckery; financially, emotionally and physically.
The podcast is going strong.
But it could go stronger.
You lazy, fucking assholes.
Go here and listen and subscribe and rate and review my shit*.
Then, go here and appreciate all the fucking work I put into the style of my fucking podcast.
Fuck.
I completed Dead Space 3 and didn't think it was as horrendous as everyone else did.
As soon as I have some time, I have, literally, eight games just waiting to be played.
I think I shall start with Metal Gear Rising.
I'm finished.
* Favorably, you fucking dicks.
It has something to do with March Madness, which, I think, is some sort of fungal rash, typically found around the genitals, specifically the anus region; like Athlete's Foot, but with more hives and burning and stink.
I'M JUST KIDDING!!!
I KNOW ALL ABOUT MARCH MADNESS!!!
It's when basketball fans act even more obnoxious and vicarious than usual.
And I am about to get paid ca$h money to rile them up even further...
This must be what Satan feels like.
Aside from beer, just yesterday I was called back in to do some more recording for Carrabba's, a chain of Italian restaurants that are better than Olive Garden.
10% of the time was spent actually recording while the other 90% was spent eating Goldfish and talking with the engineer, J.D. about how great this industry is and that someone in the industry can never complain to someone not in this industry about the industry or we'll sound like assholes.
Overpaid assholes.
Overpaid assholes who don't do nearly enough for what we are being paid.
On Thursday, both the 14th (Pi Day!!!) and the 21st, I have EVEN MORE SPEAKABOOS!!!!
The last time I was in, I did a villain, finally, although not an evil one, a repentant one...with a goo wand...
And, on Monday, I have another session with Target recording an introduction and breakdown video for their Everyday Collection campaign so they can submit the spots to awards and stuff...so...bacon.
All this and I'm about halfway through recording my second audio book. Thank the bleeding lord Jesus it's only a fraction of the size of Grind Show and that the longest recording session I've had has been just over an hour. I need to fucking soundproof my home...
Along with all this, Chris and I watched that Netflix series, House of Cards which wasn't as bad as one might expect for being an original series on Netflix and the second season of American Horror Story.
Four words: Ian McShane. Holy fuck.
Then there is the wedding.
May I just go on record as saying that Chris has done about 97% of the work?
Thank you.
We're stressed and dying and getting there and it's going to be awesome, but, before it's awesome, it's massive brain and butt fuckery; financially, emotionally and physically.
The podcast is going strong.
But it could go stronger.
You lazy, fucking assholes.
Go here and listen and subscribe and rate and review my shit*.
Then, go here and appreciate all the fucking work I put into the style of my fucking podcast.
Fuck.
I completed Dead Space 3 and didn't think it was as horrendous as everyone else did.
As soon as I have some time, I have, literally, eight games just waiting to be played.
I think I shall start with Metal Gear Rising.
I'm finished.
* Favorably, you fucking dicks.
1.08.2013
Q1 WANT.
2.5.13 Eels - Wonderful, Glorious
2.25.13 Atoms For Peace - Amok
3.5.13 They Might Be Giants - Nanobots
3.12.13 David Bowie - The Next Day
2.5.13 Dead Space 3
2.19.13 Metal Gear Rising: Revengence
3.26.13 Bioshock: Infinite
2.25.13 Atoms For Peace - Amok
3.5.13 They Might Be Giants - Nanobots
3.12.13 David Bowie - The Next Day
2.5.13 Dead Space 3
2.19.13 Metal Gear Rising: Revengence
3.26.13 Bioshock: Infinite
1.02.2013
NUTSHELLS
Over the break, I soaked my face in mucho media.
Then I did this.
God Bless America
Eight soliliquies (no, that's too poetic; let's just call a spade a spade and go with "rants") about how shitty pop culture and celebrities and everything else has gotten in this country interspersed with some graphic, gory violence. Bobcat spent a month watching the worst shit on TV and then just made a movie about how obviously bad it all is and then he killed it. Cheap and easy. Of course, we want to kill these people; reality TV stars, inconsiderate neighbors, screaming, idiot protestors, uber-Republican loud mouths, people being assholes at movie theaters...we've all written/acted in/seen this movie every day of our lives.
Anyway, there are some funny moments, but not enough.
Oh, and the moment when after the super-articulate and deep and wise-beyond-her-years teenager has a rant about what "real" and "good" music is and then get mad at the guy for calling her Juno...doesn't mean she isn't talking and acting like Juno, Bobcat.
Barbarella
Okay, you've seen the Flash Gordon movie from 1980? This makes that look like JFK.
I have NEVER had an erection this confused in my LIFE.
I want to track down the source material; the, no doubt, sexy French comic books, and just see what in the sopping wet FUCK is (supposed to be) going on here.
Also, SO MANY THINGS borrowed or just stole from this thing, I'd name a few, but I'm worried that thinking too hard about this will cause me to disintegrate and end up floating in that giant bong.
Jesus what a mindfuck.
Ghostbusters
Perfection, as always.
Halloween 2
I was astonished at how much better than the first film this was...really. There were still a heckuva lot of horror movie tropes, but there was ethos and pathos and other Greek words. Some weirdness as Michael sort of became a mountain man for a while*, but then he started killing again and having weird dreams about his dead mom and things go from there. Great sound design and, at one point, there is a huge backwods Halloween Jamboree (less redneck than I'm making it sound) where these three hot chicks dress up like Magenta, Columbia and Farnk N. Furter, and, guys, the chick dressed as Frank had me all in a tizzy.
I think I'm gay for Tim Curry.
Thanks, Rob.
Men In Black 3
Everyone said this made up for the second movie and it does. Really well done, although I would have liked a bit more time at MIB headquarters, I love the world they've made and I love spending time in it.
And Boris was so ulike himself I was giddy. Solid all the way round.
Although I'd love David Werner coming back as an evil Alpha like on the cartoon.
The Lion King
It was a gift for Christina.
It still works.
I'm 13 again and singing along with every song and bawling about a dead animated lion.
Resident Evil: Retribution
coming soon
Sons of Anarchy (season 5)
How can I watch a whole season (in two days) and STILL feel like NOTHING happened?
I mean, stuff DID happen, several folks died, allegences were shifted and there was some really great character stuff as well, but there is so much threatneing and then backing down (for good reasons or not)! I'd like to see the final season of this show, when Kurt Sutter has noting left to lose...that is when the stakes are going to rise for me.
Dexter (season 7)
Some might say that this show has been entirely pointless up until the last fifteen seconds of season 6. I...kind of agree. The problem with all these shows that are based solely on the kernal of "someone has a secret and no one can ever find out", shows like Weeds, The Riches, Breaking Bad and Big Love, is that they sometimes have a habit of exposing the secret...and then completely eradicating the person or people to whom the secret was exposed, thus making the entire season a sort of "it was alll a dream" thing. Which is sloppy as hell. But, SPOLIERS, when they FINALY expose Dexter's plot-centric secret to a character that CANNOT simply be eradicated...well, things do get kind of interesting. Although, much like SOA, I still feel like nothing has happened. Well, you know what they say, "eighth time's the charm".
Django Unchained
Wowie wow wow. I will watch Christoph Waltz in anything; you just can't tea your eyes away from him! And Jamie Foxx? Man, has he come a long way from In Living Color. While this is yet another revenge flick from Tarentino, I like his revenge flicks and, even though it's not Kill Bill, it was almost up there for me. One of the best performances by Samuel L. Jackson in a Tarentino film since Pulp Fiction.
Inglorious Basterds
After seeing Unchained, I wanted more Waltz.
Didn't love it the first time, didn't love it this time.
QT takes too long to tell a story that's too short. Not enough of the good stuff, too much of the bad stuff.
The jumps see a bit weird as well. We meet the Basterds ancd, next thing we know, they've killed dozens. There's a pervasive feeling that something is missing, and the ending is way too abrupt.
But, again, Waltz and Pitt are pure rocky gold.
Moonrise Kingdom
Oh, Wes Anderson! If there is ever a director and writer as Wes Andersony as you...well, I just don't know.
Troubled children acting like awkward little adults? Check.
Major Hollywood actors being cast against type? Check.
Some crazy cinematography? Check.
Bill Murray? Check.
This has everything a Wes Anderason movie needs and I enjoyed it thoroughly. Honestly, I can't think of anything else to say about it.
Oh, no, wait, I know! The kids he cast give me hope for this generation of child actors.
Other than that...? You keep makin' 'em, Wes, and I'll keep watching 'em.
* For all you wondering what Michael Myers looks like under the mask...he look likes John Balance...at least according to Rob Zombie.
Then I did this.
God Bless America
Eight soliliquies (no, that's too poetic; let's just call a spade a spade and go with "rants") about how shitty pop culture and celebrities and everything else has gotten in this country interspersed with some graphic, gory violence. Bobcat spent a month watching the worst shit on TV and then just made a movie about how obviously bad it all is and then he killed it. Cheap and easy. Of course, we want to kill these people; reality TV stars, inconsiderate neighbors, screaming, idiot protestors, uber-Republican loud mouths, people being assholes at movie theaters...we've all written/acted in/seen this movie every day of our lives.
Anyway, there are some funny moments, but not enough.
Oh, and the moment when after the super-articulate and deep and wise-beyond-her-years teenager has a rant about what "real" and "good" music is and then get mad at the guy for calling her Juno...doesn't mean she isn't talking and acting like Juno, Bobcat.
Barbarella
Okay, you've seen the Flash Gordon movie from 1980? This makes that look like JFK.
I have NEVER had an erection this confused in my LIFE.
I want to track down the source material; the, no doubt, sexy French comic books, and just see what in the sopping wet FUCK is (supposed to be) going on here.
Also, SO MANY THINGS borrowed or just stole from this thing, I'd name a few, but I'm worried that thinking too hard about this will cause me to disintegrate and end up floating in that giant bong.
Jesus what a mindfuck.
Ghostbusters
Perfection, as always.
Halloween 2
I was astonished at how much better than the first film this was...really. There were still a heckuva lot of horror movie tropes, but there was ethos and pathos and other Greek words. Some weirdness as Michael sort of became a mountain man for a while*, but then he started killing again and having weird dreams about his dead mom and things go from there. Great sound design and, at one point, there is a huge backwods Halloween Jamboree (less redneck than I'm making it sound) where these three hot chicks dress up like Magenta, Columbia and Farnk N. Furter, and, guys, the chick dressed as Frank had me all in a tizzy.
I think I'm gay for Tim Curry.
Thanks, Rob.
Men In Black 3
Everyone said this made up for the second movie and it does. Really well done, although I would have liked a bit more time at MIB headquarters, I love the world they've made and I love spending time in it.
And Boris was so ulike himself I was giddy. Solid all the way round.
Although I'd love David Werner coming back as an evil Alpha like on the cartoon.
The Lion King
It was a gift for Christina.
It still works.
I'm 13 again and singing along with every song and bawling about a dead animated lion.
Resident Evil: Retribution
coming soon
Sons of Anarchy (season 5)
How can I watch a whole season (in two days) and STILL feel like NOTHING happened?
I mean, stuff DID happen, several folks died, allegences were shifted and there was some really great character stuff as well, but there is so much threatneing and then backing down (for good reasons or not)! I'd like to see the final season of this show, when Kurt Sutter has noting left to lose...that is when the stakes are going to rise for me.
Dexter (season 7)
Some might say that this show has been entirely pointless up until the last fifteen seconds of season 6. I...kind of agree. The problem with all these shows that are based solely on the kernal of "someone has a secret and no one can ever find out", shows like Weeds, The Riches, Breaking Bad and Big Love, is that they sometimes have a habit of exposing the secret...and then completely eradicating the person or people to whom the secret was exposed, thus making the entire season a sort of "it was alll a dream" thing. Which is sloppy as hell. But, SPOLIERS, when they FINALY expose Dexter's plot-centric secret to a character that CANNOT simply be eradicated...well, things do get kind of interesting. Although, much like SOA, I still feel like nothing has happened. Well, you know what they say, "eighth time's the charm".
Django Unchained
Wowie wow wow. I will watch Christoph Waltz in anything; you just can't tea your eyes away from him! And Jamie Foxx? Man, has he come a long way from In Living Color. While this is yet another revenge flick from Tarentino, I like his revenge flicks and, even though it's not Kill Bill, it was almost up there for me. One of the best performances by Samuel L. Jackson in a Tarentino film since Pulp Fiction.
Inglorious Basterds
After seeing Unchained, I wanted more Waltz.
Didn't love it the first time, didn't love it this time.
QT takes too long to tell a story that's too short. Not enough of the good stuff, too much of the bad stuff.
The jumps see a bit weird as well. We meet the Basterds ancd, next thing we know, they've killed dozens. There's a pervasive feeling that something is missing, and the ending is way too abrupt.
But, again, Waltz and Pitt are pure rocky gold.
Moonrise Kingdom
Oh, Wes Anderson! If there is ever a director and writer as Wes Andersony as you...well, I just don't know.
Troubled children acting like awkward little adults? Check.
Major Hollywood actors being cast against type? Check.
Some crazy cinematography? Check.
Bill Murray? Check.
This has everything a Wes Anderason movie needs and I enjoyed it thoroughly. Honestly, I can't think of anything else to say about it.
Oh, no, wait, I know! The kids he cast give me hope for this generation of child actors.
Other than that...? You keep makin' 'em, Wes, and I'll keep watching 'em.
* For all you wondering what Michael Myers looks like under the mask...he look likes John Balance...at least according to Rob Zombie.
7.03.2012
Such Sickness...
Since Friday, I have been sick.
I have also been squatting in my own living room since the AC has gone in and Chris has gone away to the West.
I feel like the smartest, sickest homeless man ever.
I can hear virtually NOTHING out of my left ear due to weird sick pressure head issues and I can't seem to smell anything either.
I have a 2000 word recording session with TransPerfect Thursday morning at 10.
Fuck. Yes.
I also received an e-mail yesterday from my manager checking my availability for next week to go in for a rerecord for a session I did back in March.
Now, here's the deal, the folks from that session back in March, have yet to send my payment.
So.
Here's what I'm thinking...I won't set foot in that studio until A. we get that payment from fucking March and B. we get a written guarantee that we'll have the payment from this session within 2 weeks.
This company makes, literally, billions of dollars a year, they can fucking expedite this.
I don't think that's unreasonable at all and, if it is a little, I have never been a diva in my career and this is as good a place to start as any.
In other "news", since I've been delirious with sickness I have watched the 8th season of The Office (loving almost every second of it, and, although HE says he's never gotten it, I think Flans resembles Ed Helms XMAX), the 6th season of 30 Rock (I saw where my part would have been and, although it would have been awesome to put 30 Rock on my resume, I'm fine now that I did not get it; it was for the voice of Mayor MacBeth/Cheese from the credits of the episode where Liz finds her book from the year before and starts solving all her problems before they occur. I had to do a Patrick Stewart impression. And the addition of Kristen Schaal to the cast might have made one of the funniest things on television even funnier. She is perfect), Red Dragon (Ralph...Jesus...you're a nightmare. Also, I'd probably sleep with a serial killer if I later got to pet a tiger), Paul (the movie, not the me), that Rob Zombie animated film, the Haunted World of El Superbeasto (such a wonderful and pus-filled universe he has created, Sherri Moon Zombie-- which might be the coolest name ever-- does a great job as Suzi X...and Paul Giamatti is one of the most versatile voice actors I've ever heard) and the Doctor Who 8th Doctor TV movie (which was shitty trash ass and pure piss awful. Fear and burn this.).
I also played through Resident Evil 5 on Hard...which is less than Hard when you have a lot of super powerful weapons with infinite ammo, and I finally finished Max Payne 3, which was good looking and functional with a solid noir story, but nothing more.
I'm trading it in for something as soon as I have the time.
Not sure what though, as the new Silent Hill (SH: Downpour) got nothing but shit bags for reviews.
Aside from not really being able to hear out of my left side, I'm actually feeling better, so, tomorrow, Jen Rock and I are going to play through as much of Silent Hill 2 as we can without tumbling into the crimson maw of terror and darkness...so, like, forty minutes. I might put the mattress away...if I have the energy and wherewithal.
The lack of my One and Only plus the effects of my sickness have made me part bachelor (in five days, I have used one bowl, one spoon, one plate and nothing more) and part wounded baby elephant (I've been eating a lot of peanuts and trumpeting).
In short: ay-ee-thang-SALL-fuk-dup.
Finally, after my day of Resident Evil 5, I had an awesome and intense zombie apocalypse dream that was actually a sequel to an earlier zombie apocalypse dream. It involved a secluded lodge house in the woods near a small town with an underground...something...that was causing all the zombie stuff. Aside from regular zombies, there were also huge Lovecraftian mutations running around as well. Utterly horrifying and extremely exhilarating. One part I remember very clearly was sneaking around inside the lodge house and slowly closing the blinds and locking the doors and windows so no zombies saw the people inside. It was during the day and very intense. Then, while making sure everything was shuttered, I saw a massive creature swimming in the river behind the house, something very much like Cthulhu, but more squid-like. If could just plug my brain into my PS3, I'd be the best survival horror game designer in the world.
And my fingers have just stopped working.
I have also been squatting in my own living room since the AC has gone in and Chris has gone away to the West.
I feel like the smartest, sickest homeless man ever.
I can hear virtually NOTHING out of my left ear due to weird sick pressure head issues and I can't seem to smell anything either.
I have a 2000 word recording session with TransPerfect Thursday morning at 10.
Fuck. Yes.
I also received an e-mail yesterday from my manager checking my availability for next week to go in for a rerecord for a session I did back in March.
Now, here's the deal, the folks from that session back in March, have yet to send my payment.
So.
Here's what I'm thinking...I won't set foot in that studio until A. we get that payment from fucking March and B. we get a written guarantee that we'll have the payment from this session within 2 weeks.
This company makes, literally, billions of dollars a year, they can fucking expedite this.
I don't think that's unreasonable at all and, if it is a little, I have never been a diva in my career and this is as good a place to start as any.
In other "news", since I've been delirious with sickness I have watched the 8th season of The Office (loving almost every second of it, and, although HE says he's never gotten it, I think Flans resembles Ed Helms XMAX), the 6th season of 30 Rock (I saw where my part would have been and, although it would have been awesome to put 30 Rock on my resume, I'm fine now that I did not get it; it was for the voice of Mayor MacBeth/Cheese from the credits of the episode where Liz finds her book from the year before and starts solving all her problems before they occur. I had to do a Patrick Stewart impression. And the addition of Kristen Schaal to the cast might have made one of the funniest things on television even funnier. She is perfect), Red Dragon (Ralph...Jesus...you're a nightmare. Also, I'd probably sleep with a serial killer if I later got to pet a tiger), Paul (the movie, not the me), that Rob Zombie animated film, the Haunted World of El Superbeasto (such a wonderful and pus-filled universe he has created, Sherri Moon Zombie-- which might be the coolest name ever-- does a great job as Suzi X...and Paul Giamatti is one of the most versatile voice actors I've ever heard) and the Doctor Who 8th Doctor TV movie (which was shitty trash ass and pure piss awful. Fear and burn this.).
I also played through Resident Evil 5 on Hard...which is less than Hard when you have a lot of super powerful weapons with infinite ammo, and I finally finished Max Payne 3, which was good looking and functional with a solid noir story, but nothing more.
I'm trading it in for something as soon as I have the time.
Not sure what though, as the new Silent Hill (SH: Downpour) got nothing but shit bags for reviews.
Aside from not really being able to hear out of my left side, I'm actually feeling better, so, tomorrow, Jen Rock and I are going to play through as much of Silent Hill 2 as we can without tumbling into the crimson maw of terror and darkness...so, like, forty minutes. I might put the mattress away...if I have the energy and wherewithal.
The lack of my One and Only plus the effects of my sickness have made me part bachelor (in five days, I have used one bowl, one spoon, one plate and nothing more) and part wounded baby elephant (I've been eating a lot of peanuts and trumpeting).
In short: ay-ee-thang-SALL-fuk-dup.
Finally, after my day of Resident Evil 5, I had an awesome and intense zombie apocalypse dream that was actually a sequel to an earlier zombie apocalypse dream. It involved a secluded lodge house in the woods near a small town with an underground...something...that was causing all the zombie stuff. Aside from regular zombies, there were also huge Lovecraftian mutations running around as well. Utterly horrifying and extremely exhilarating. One part I remember very clearly was sneaking around inside the lodge house and slowly closing the blinds and locking the doors and windows so no zombies saw the people inside. It was during the day and very intense. Then, while making sure everything was shuttered, I saw a massive creature swimming in the river behind the house, something very much like Cthulhu, but more squid-like. If could just plug my brain into my PS3, I'd be the best survival horror game designer in the world.
And my fingers have just stopped working.
12.21.2009
Cock Block...of Wood
12.21.09
7:45pm
Three years from now, we're all gonna be laughing about the Apocalypse.
If I'm wrong?
I'll owe you a Coke.
Went to IFC and saw "Antichrist" last night with Christina.
Total date movie.
No.
Strike that.
Total first date movie.
It was amazing.
Brutal as fuckall, but amazing.
Turns out I am still shockable.
Thank goodness for that, I was beginning to think that that part of me was scabbed over, but no, I am still human.
After we arrived home and got done mutilating our genitals, I put on some 30 Rock, which I have been watching a hell of a lot of lately.
I saw the episode I auditioned for and I was way wrong for the part, but this means I am now in NBC's casting system.
Score.
This show is...SO brilliant...it makes me angry that NOTHING on American television now is as good as it is.
Comedy-wise anyway.
The Office is pretty funny.
Anyway.
Finished season 4 of Dexter.
Wow.
Also wrapping up the final season of Dollhouse.
See, it's the final season and not just the second because it just started hitting it's stride around the end of the first season and that's usually when Fox decides to end a show.
When it's just getting good.
So...thanks Fox.
That could have been a good show, but now I don't have to worry about it.
Thanks.
Oh, and Joss Whedon (I know you read this), next time you have an idea for a TV show, don't mention it to Fox.
Idiot.
My pizza has arrived.
And so have I.
5.14.2009
Go absolutely fuck yourself, you maladjusted and frigid bitch.
5.14.09
7:09 pm
My faith may have been misplaced in Seattle Cafe...at least in their paninis.
Had an audition for Sunny D this morning.
They're still making Sunny D.
Way to go, guys.
In other news, Chris and I are but one hour and thirty five minutes away from the end of Battlestar Galactica (save one final made-for-TV movie coming out in November) and we're terrified of what may transpire.
After BSG, we may pick up the fifth season of Lost. May hopes are now that They have decided on an ending for the show, the shit will start to become less....annoying IS the right word, yes. And personally, I am four episodes away from the end of the first (of many hopefully) season on Joss Whedon's Dollhouse. They seem to be getting better as they progress... After that, I still have the new season of Rescue Me to get immersed in, but only after I've finished the last episode of Volume 3 of Heroes and the end of the 18th and totality of the 19th seasons of The Simpsons.
Busy busy busy.
Busy.
Facetious.
Then, I have Cake, TMBG and two Nine Inch Nails shows in two weeks. I've been somewhat good about not spoiling the setlists for NIN but from what I'm trying not to see, they have some CRAZY shit on there. Songs they haven't played in over 14 years and some they've never played at all. Literally a different show every night...for at least a few nights of course. They learned over 70 songs for this tour, plus some covers that...well...who gives a shit but me anyway.
It's going to be good. Just take comfort in the fact that I'll be enjoying myself. Not that I need to be at a NIN concert to enjoy myself, I'm enjoying myself right now, but I will enjoy myself even more so at the aforementioned concerts.
Yes.
And finally, Scorched Earth is MELTING the hours here. I am a sick, sick, lazy genius.
2.27.2009
This Onion Makes You Cry HAPPY Tears!!!
2.27.09
So, if you can believe this, every Thursday I have a ritual:
I walk down to 85th and Lexington
I then read it when I get back to work.
I always have a blank e-mail open, addressed to myself in case something catches my interest.
This week, there is a new feature entitled "Gateways to Geekery" and while some of it didn't float my boat (The French New Wave) and some of it was trying to float a boat that was already floating (British Sitcoms), one entry just ran right up my gangplank.
Hard.
And that runner was Glam Rock.
Personally, I've never given too much of a shit about it, but the entry said that Ziggy Stardust was a good gateway.
I love Ziggy Stardust so it stands to reason that if any of the other stuff was like Ziggy Stardust there's a fair chance that I might enjoy that as well.
Plus, it's always good to get into new (for me anyway) music.
Mostly for myself, but also so I can spare my friends from having to hear me babble on and on about the same six bands (more so than I already do).
After Ziggy they recommended Roxy Music's self titled album, The Slider by T. Rex and Brian Eno's Here Come The Warm Jets (which is a wonderfully sinister title).
Now, I know Eno from his work with Bowie
Thus far I have only listened to the first half of Roxy Music, but I am digging the hell out of it.
Something about the overwrought sense of drama appeals to me...for some reason...
I listened to one track from T. Rex (Metal Guru) and that also seems good, but I haven't even scratched the membrane of the surface.
Along with these I picked up The Lonely Island's Incredibad, which is the guys who do "Dick In A Box","Jizz In My Pants", "Natalie's Rap" and all the other stuff that is keeping SNL afloat these days.
Some funny goddamn shit on there as well.
I recommend "Normal Guy (Interlude)".
Also, and this makes me feel like a bit of a scumbag (I'm certain Kaitlyn would support this feeling), I grabbed the War Child Present Heroes charity album.
Okay, the worst part, worse than me basically stealing a charity album supporting children displaced by war, is that it isn't very good.
The idea is big, famous bands choose a band they like/respect to do a cover of one of their songs.
So there's Peaches doing "Search & Destroy" by Iggy Pop, Scissor Sisters doing "Do The Strand" by Roxy Music, TV On The Radio doing "Heroes" by Bowie
And none of them are great!
Some are good, but NONE are great.
I feel bad for these kids.
Well...worse.
Just finished watching the first season of Flight of the Conchords.
I didn't really dig it at first, but the show grew on me.
And some of those Musical Moments are achingly funny.
I'M NOW GOING TO ILLEGALLY DOWNLOAD THE SECOND SEASON FROM OFF THE INTERNET.
Take that, HBO.
Needed to reshape my Netflix.
In the last delivery, I received, along with the second disc of FOTC and the remake of The Fly (really excellent, but something about Geena Davis...WAY too many teeth), The Seven Samurai.
That was in the first 20 or so movies I added to my queue three years ago.
So now:
Weeds
Big Love
Peep Show
and....some other series.
I'm finding cable less amazing than I would have hoped.
That's probably my fault though.
I'm writing a semi-serious Lovecraft short story at Phil's urgings.
I figured, if he's a good writer, maybe he can make me a good writer by telling me what to write.
Just kidding.
I'm a great writer.
And a devil in the sack.
Not very tall though.
Diminutive.
Miniscule.
Tiny.
Dot.
I'M KIDDING AGAIN!
I'M VERY TALL!!!!
Also,Tumblr.
Or Tumbler.
Or whatever it's called.
It's YET ANOTHER PLACE TO POST A BLOG.
And, even though I hate hate hate when this happens, I may have to join it.
Not that anyone reads these.
Or not for very long anyway.
"What's he...what?! What the fuck is his deal?!"
CLICK
*sigh*
No one can handle my Truth.
Buncha weak vessels is all.
Stoked about the gifts I've made for Danielle for her Birthday.
On a scale of "1" to "10", I'd say they're "fucking amazing".
Just being honest.
"Head's up kittens, everything is bad
It's gettin' dark now, and it's the best dark I ever had"
It's gettin' dark now, and it's the best dark I ever had"
That was on me today.
Not sure why.
10.21.2008
ATTENTION, PLEASE
10.21.08
10:17pm
Just wanted to take a moment to let you know that BRITNEY SPEARS' new music video "Womanizer" is HOT.
10:17pm
Just wanted to take a moment to let you know that BRITNEY SPEARS' new music video "Womanizer" is HOT.
BRITNEY SPEARS is a SEX SYMBOL.
And her career is on the UPSWING.
She now owes me $17.
Also, cookies: never too old to enjoy them.
Next, after about 8 months, I have finally finished my radio demo with Bill and it is pure diamond, absolutely flawless.
It's perfect and I have not been prouder in recent memory.
Now if only I can get the right person to hear it...
Consumption:
I just finished the first Dexter book and Christina was right, the show is better.
I am about to start The Anatomy Lesson by John David Morley which is, according to Jess, amazing.
I am trying NOT to watch any more downloaded episodes of "The Shield" until the whole final season is up but goldurn it that's proving tough.
Ray has pointed me in the direction of "Superjail!" which I have watched all of (thus far). It is pleasantly shocking and stars David Wain.
I saw "Blindness" this weekend and think that The Onion giving it a C+ or whatever was WAY unfair, the movie was excellent and fucking harsh.
I'm playing "Dead Space" on my own and loving it and playing "Silent Hill: Homecoming " with Danielle and also loving it.
Aside from the upcoming Halloween Movie Night thing, I'm planning a Bond Marathon (or mini marathon depending on who gets in on it) which will culminate with a showing of "Casino Royale" (2006 version) before heading out to see "Quantum of Solace".
This has been SO uninteresting.
Thank you.
1.05.2006
1.5.06
7:34 PM
Oh Lordy Lordy! Phat Burger has destroyed me. I thought, “I’m hungry, but not TOO hungry. I won’t get a burger.” I had been hankering for a nice bowl of chili allll day so I figure, “A nice bowl of chili and some cheese fries will quell this belly beast.” So I order at 6:55 and arrive back at work mere minutes before it shows up. At first, I am worried because there appears to be very little cheese on this bright orange waffle fries…wait…bright orange? I didn’t order sweet potato fries! What is this bullshit? I open the container to see my healthy potato friends have been drowned in a veritable OCEAN of melted sharp cheddar. I orgasm twice in quick succession, not being able to tell where one ends and the next begins. Then I open the chili container. BAM! Three more orgasms. My pants are a mess now, but I hardly notice the sliding warmth in my boxers. I dig in, dipping the cheese fries in my chili and smacking my lips audibly, stopping every few seconds to sip from my (glass) bottle of root beer. After about ten minutes or so, the fries are gone and my vision is getting hazy. There is a mote dancing behind my eyes and it is getting bigger and bigger, blocking my vision. Through its stringy, spinning mass I can see the empty fry container…and the three quarters full chili cup! “Good God…” I mutter, “Good God!” I scream. This makes no sense. I have eaten my fill but I still see delicious food in front of me! What has happened to me?! Am I bewitched? Am I shrinking? Has my sickness flipped some switch inside of me?
I was still grappling with this realization when I started typing. At this moment, I am still full and when I look at the chili cup still containing MORE THAN HALF of its original contents, I do not curse under my breath, I do not weep a silent, cheese-flavored tear…I merely smile and whisper the word…“oog”.
In other news I watched Boiler Room today. Not as bad as people made it out to be. Giovanni Rabisi was iight. Ben Affleck was tolerable. Vin Disel was great. I dug the soundtrack and how all the stockbrokers were whiggers xmax. Very funny stuff. The ending was pretty good too.
You know I think someone might have drugged this chili. I feel like I’m wrapped in a big, warm blanket. There is a buzzing in the back of my head. It agrees with and supports all my thoughts and ideas. It is my friend. I like it. Good. It’s as if I am underwater.
I am planning on seeing Sufjan Stevens in concert on Saturday the fourteenth. He is playing in the Allen Room at the Jazz at Lincoln Center space where Megan works. I might get to hang out with him. This isn’t like a Nine Inch Nails or They Might Be Giants thing; I am a fan of what this guy does but I don’t know him or his music (he has five albums (or eight if you count the three Xmas EP’s), I’ve heard one in totem) well enough to be obsessed. His music is deep and layered, beautiful and sad. And he has a song about zombies. Will put a track from his latest album on his Bite the Music submission and Christina Girlfriend fell fast in love with that track. The album (“Come On! Feel the Illinoise!”) is very thick. It is the second in a series of “state albums”. He has already released “Greetings from Michigan, the Great Lakes State!” and plans to write and release an album per state. Take that, John Linnell, you lazy robot! At this point, I am hungry for new music. Last year sort of spoiled me. Two new They Might Be Giants’ releases (both of which turned out to be rather lean indeed), a new Cake album (excellent), a new Beck album (nothing genre defining, but excellent nonetheless), a new eels album (monumental) that resulted in an amazing live show (which is coming to CD and DVD February 21st) and a new Nine Inch Nails album which has yet to leave my stereo (see, I bought the regular CD and the Dualdisc versions…). On top of that, Depeche Mode’s new release was a pleasant surprise as well. I saw a few concerts: Beck (very energetic), They Might Be Giants (fun as always, but nothing earthshaking), eels (amazing) and Nine Inch Nails (the definition of “100% perfection”). As far as 2006 looks, there is the eels live CD/DVD of the concert I saw (literally the concert I saw. They videotaped and recorded the Town Hall show that Phil and I were at), Cake with some others at the Unlimited Sunshine Tour (not going), talk of some new half-assed TMBG release and NIN is coming around for another leg of its tour. As far as that goes, I’m pensive because the last one was really perfect, I’m not exaggerating. Musically speaking, none of the aforementioned bands are planning any new material (except some tiny thing from TMBG which, based on their past two efforts, will not wow me). Trent Reznor has said he wants to have a new album out before 2007 but it has been NO LESS than FIVE YEARS between proper album releases for NIN, so I’m skeptical. You know, I’m just going to make a list of things to which I am looking forward…goddamn dangling participle.
Bullet Time…
• “eels With Strings” live CD/DVD (look for Phil and I standing for the last two songs)
• Something new by Beck (considering he has a lot of new stuff lying around)
• Not one, but TWO new Stephen King novels (Cell on 1.24.05 and Lesley’s Story on 10.24.06). Retired my ball sac.
• The Complete Tori Amos video collection (finally)
• Nine Inch Nails concert (hope it surpasses or at least lives up to the one before. This will be more like the first two of the With Teeth tour, but he has discussed doing a solo piano tour. That would be…indescribable.)
• Whatever stopgap release They Might Be Giants are planning (Something along the lines of the kids picture book Bed, Bed, Bed, Bed, Bed with a four song CD but “more Edwardian”. Any idea what that means?)
• Silent Hill the movie (although based on interviews and stuff, I feel like I am going to be disappointed and that totally blows. At least Uwe Boll isn’t involved…)
• The PS3 (drool)
• Acting in Ray’s film and John’s play. I like acting.
• The release of The Simpsons Season Eight, my favorite season, containing such excellent episodes as “The Springfield Files” guest starring David Duchovney and Gillian Anderson as Mulder and Scully, “Homer’s Nemesis” guest starring John Waters as John the gay guy, “You Only Move Twice” guest starring Albert Brooks as Hank Scorpio and, my all time favorite episode of The Simpsons, “The Mysterious Voyage of Our Homer” (although the original title is in Portuguese). This episode guest stars Johnny Cash as the Space Coyote, is chock full of excellent lines and has one of the best endings in Simpson history. In fact, almost all the episodes in the eighth season have excellent endings. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, seasons six through ten are pure gold.
Now, these are all things to which I am looking forward, most of them (you will be surprised to notice) are material possessions. These are not goals, they re products. What goals do I have? Nothing but getting into SAG and then, instead of making stupid good money on my acting shit, I’ll make Ariel Sharon post-stroke money on my acting shit. Yeah, paralytic mumblin’ dollaz y’all.
7:34 PM
Oh Lordy Lordy! Phat Burger has destroyed me. I thought, “I’m hungry, but not TOO hungry. I won’t get a burger.” I had been hankering for a nice bowl of chili allll day so I figure, “A nice bowl of chili and some cheese fries will quell this belly beast.” So I order at 6:55 and arrive back at work mere minutes before it shows up. At first, I am worried because there appears to be very little cheese on this bright orange waffle fries…wait…bright orange? I didn’t order sweet potato fries! What is this bullshit? I open the container to see my healthy potato friends have been drowned in a veritable OCEAN of melted sharp cheddar. I orgasm twice in quick succession, not being able to tell where one ends and the next begins. Then I open the chili container. BAM! Three more orgasms. My pants are a mess now, but I hardly notice the sliding warmth in my boxers. I dig in, dipping the cheese fries in my chili and smacking my lips audibly, stopping every few seconds to sip from my (glass) bottle of root beer. After about ten minutes or so, the fries are gone and my vision is getting hazy. There is a mote dancing behind my eyes and it is getting bigger and bigger, blocking my vision. Through its stringy, spinning mass I can see the empty fry container…and the three quarters full chili cup! “Good God…” I mutter, “Good God!” I scream. This makes no sense. I have eaten my fill but I still see delicious food in front of me! What has happened to me?! Am I bewitched? Am I shrinking? Has my sickness flipped some switch inside of me?
I was still grappling with this realization when I started typing. At this moment, I am still full and when I look at the chili cup still containing MORE THAN HALF of its original contents, I do not curse under my breath, I do not weep a silent, cheese-flavored tear…I merely smile and whisper the word…“oog”.
In other news I watched Boiler Room today. Not as bad as people made it out to be. Giovanni Rabisi was iight. Ben Affleck was tolerable. Vin Disel was great. I dug the soundtrack and how all the stockbrokers were whiggers xmax. Very funny stuff. The ending was pretty good too.
You know I think someone might have drugged this chili. I feel like I’m wrapped in a big, warm blanket. There is a buzzing in the back of my head. It agrees with and supports all my thoughts and ideas. It is my friend. I like it. Good. It’s as if I am underwater.
I am planning on seeing Sufjan Stevens in concert on Saturday the fourteenth. He is playing in the Allen Room at the Jazz at Lincoln Center space where Megan works. I might get to hang out with him. This isn’t like a Nine Inch Nails or They Might Be Giants thing; I am a fan of what this guy does but I don’t know him or his music (he has five albums (or eight if you count the three Xmas EP’s), I’ve heard one in totem) well enough to be obsessed. His music is deep and layered, beautiful and sad. And he has a song about zombies. Will put a track from his latest album on his Bite the Music submission and Christina Girlfriend fell fast in love with that track. The album (“Come On! Feel the Illinoise!”) is very thick. It is the second in a series of “state albums”. He has already released “Greetings from Michigan, the Great Lakes State!” and plans to write and release an album per state. Take that, John Linnell, you lazy robot! At this point, I am hungry for new music. Last year sort of spoiled me. Two new They Might Be Giants’ releases (both of which turned out to be rather lean indeed), a new Cake album (excellent), a new Beck album (nothing genre defining, but excellent nonetheless), a new eels album (monumental) that resulted in an amazing live show (which is coming to CD and DVD February 21st) and a new Nine Inch Nails album which has yet to leave my stereo (see, I bought the regular CD and the Dualdisc versions…). On top of that, Depeche Mode’s new release was a pleasant surprise as well. I saw a few concerts: Beck (very energetic), They Might Be Giants (fun as always, but nothing earthshaking), eels (amazing) and Nine Inch Nails (the definition of “100% perfection”). As far as 2006 looks, there is the eels live CD/DVD of the concert I saw (literally the concert I saw. They videotaped and recorded the Town Hall show that Phil and I were at), Cake with some others at the Unlimited Sunshine Tour (not going), talk of some new half-assed TMBG release and NIN is coming around for another leg of its tour. As far as that goes, I’m pensive because the last one was really perfect, I’m not exaggerating. Musically speaking, none of the aforementioned bands are planning any new material (except some tiny thing from TMBG which, based on their past two efforts, will not wow me). Trent Reznor has said he wants to have a new album out before 2007 but it has been NO LESS than FIVE YEARS between proper album releases for NIN, so I’m skeptical. You know, I’m just going to make a list of things to which I am looking forward…goddamn dangling participle.
Bullet Time…
• “eels With Strings” live CD/DVD (look for Phil and I standing for the last two songs)
• Something new by Beck (considering he has a lot of new stuff lying around)
• Not one, but TWO new Stephen King novels (Cell on 1.24.05 and Lesley’s Story on 10.24.06). Retired my ball sac.
• The Complete Tori Amos video collection (finally)
• Nine Inch Nails concert (hope it surpasses or at least lives up to the one before. This will be more like the first two of the With Teeth tour, but he has discussed doing a solo piano tour. That would be…indescribable.)
• Whatever stopgap release They Might Be Giants are planning (Something along the lines of the kids picture book Bed, Bed, Bed, Bed, Bed with a four song CD but “more Edwardian”. Any idea what that means?)
• Silent Hill the movie (although based on interviews and stuff, I feel like I am going to be disappointed and that totally blows. At least Uwe Boll isn’t involved…)
• The PS3 (drool)
• Acting in Ray’s film and John’s play. I like acting.
• The release of The Simpsons Season Eight, my favorite season, containing such excellent episodes as “The Springfield Files” guest starring David Duchovney and Gillian Anderson as Mulder and Scully, “Homer’s Nemesis” guest starring John Waters as John the gay guy, “You Only Move Twice” guest starring Albert Brooks as Hank Scorpio and, my all time favorite episode of The Simpsons, “The Mysterious Voyage of Our Homer” (although the original title is in Portuguese). This episode guest stars Johnny Cash as the Space Coyote, is chock full of excellent lines and has one of the best endings in Simpson history. In fact, almost all the episodes in the eighth season have excellent endings. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, seasons six through ten are pure gold.
Now, these are all things to which I am looking forward, most of them (you will be surprised to notice) are material possessions. These are not goals, they re products. What goals do I have? Nothing but getting into SAG and then, instead of making stupid good money on my acting shit, I’ll make Ariel Sharon post-stroke money on my acting shit. Yeah, paralytic mumblin’ dollaz y’all.
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