A review of They Might Be Giants' "Glean"

Since their debut album, released in 1986, They Might Be Giants, led by John Flansburgh and John Linnell, have had a penchant for pairing up-beat, cheery melodies with crushingly depressing, bleak-as-hell lyrics.* They continue this long-standing tradition with their seventeenth studio album, Glean, which could be considered their darkest album to date. Themes addressed include drudgery, murder, depression, alienation...and that's just side one. Side two covers the rest of the Gray Rainbow of Human Failings; inertia, incomprehension, agoraphobia, self-deception and self-medication.

Are you starting to get why these guys dislike being written off as "quirky"?

Almost every track here is masquerading as something else; the poppy, driving opener, "Erase", touches on repetition and strangulation, the seemingly sweet love song, "Answer" is a laundry list of compromises and disappointments, and "Underwater Woman", with its throbbing sonic intricacies, resounds with heartrending isolation and insanity.** There's only one instance on Glean where the mask slips and both the music and lyrics are in alignment, namely, "End of the Rope", where the desperation is laid bare for the listener to experience without an accordion to quirk it up. 
Not everything here is a corpse wearing a clown suit though; "Aaa" is a delightfully frantic interlude which centers around asking questions, questions, and more questions, some screamed at the top of one's voice, perhaps while covered in sweat, "Madame, I Challenge You to a Duel" is a breezy, summery tune (just one of a handful of really fantastic Flansburgh gems here) inspired by an altercation between Shelley Winters and Oliver Reed on the Tonight Show, "Unpronounceable" sounds familiar on its first listen and only gets better from there, and "Music Jail, Pt. 1 & 2" is just jouncing, schizophrenic fun.

TMBG's last album, 2013's Nanobots, was an absolute triumph, nothing as worn out and disingenuous as a "return to form", more a thrilling evolution of their sound, and there was a lot riding on Glean as its follow up. Glean's only clear failing (aside from having ten fewer tracks than its predecessor***) is the overwhelming sense of dichotomy; there are great Flansburgh songs and there are great Linnell songs, but, aside from tiny moments on "Unpronounceable" and "I Can Help the Next in Line", the two never really share any of Glean's fifteen tracks. This is supposed to be a They Might Be Giants album.

So, what did I glean from this album?**** That They Might Be Giants are three decades into their career and still making multifaceted, relevant, intriguing, well constructed music, and that their Dial-A-Song experiment, at least thus far, has been a booming success.

* It is, by no means, all they do, but, it seems, it's become what they're best known for, even though it's not some sort of gimmick or excercise in pointlessly wacky juxtaposition; the music and lyrics both hold equal importance.

** In fact, if one wants to take this sentiment of disguise and misconception further, one could look at the artwork accompanying the album: a serene treescape, marred by a detailed anatomical illustration of the human salivary gland; something vulnerable and glistening and ugly at the center of things...yeah, these guys are just too quirky. 

And I love that song from that "Malcolm" show.

*** And yet, Glean manages to clock in only five minutes shorter than Nanobots. 

**** See, while Glean is the title of the album, it can also mean "to learn or discover", making the above sentence a pun. Which is clever.

End of the Month Music Bitchfest - March 2015

They Might Be Giants

Dial-A-Song Round Up! pt. 3

"I Can Help The Next In Line" is a short and relatively sparse (slightly porn-y) disco biscuit from Linnell. The video is fantastic and bolsters what's lacking in the song, not that that really improves the song. This is the first thing from DAS that actually sounds like DAS, if you dig, and that's not entirely a good thing; it's feels sort of like it's missing something, like it's just a demo*. Maybe an extra verse or instrument. Not bad, and it really does a great job of growing on you, but it doesn't stack up to what's come thus far.

"Good To Be Alive" feels a bit like "Answer" in that it's more "grown up" than a lot of the other tracks offered here. The lyrics are pretty straightforward and seemed to be about someone recovering from some accident or misfortune even before I saw the video, which takes the general theme of the lyrics and makes that ambiguous misfortune into a Yeti attack.

"Unpronounceable" sounds a bit like a theme to an early 90's TGIF show. As far as its staccato arrangement, it absolutely meets the original DAS specs. There's some great production around the edges for headphone folks and some awesome soaring guitars. Something a bit similar about the popcorn in "Good To Be Alive" and the general beat of this, so I'm hoping those two aren't back-to-back on Glean. This was an instant favorite for me.

Just as "Underwater Woman" became one of my favorite DAS tracks almost immediately. Incredibly sad with perfect emotive bass and subtle horns. There's also a startlingly literal video** to accompany it that has some TMBG fans up in arms. No one likes literal interpretations of They Might Be Giants songs.

And, finally, released just yesterday, a dub-flavored, summery Flans jam called "I'm A Coward". Enjoying it more every time I listen to it and I dig that math.

Now, the kvetching...another downside that floated up from the toxic part of my mind is how normal these tracks are. Fully produced, polished and accompanied by an actual music video...they feel too clean. I want more weird. When I first heard about Dial-A-Song returning, I was expecting a lot more stuff like "Lesson 16", "Turtles of North America" and "(She Was A) Hotel Detective In The Future" (and it's accompanying commentary), and, while I'm genuinely enjoying most everything that's comes out, I was hoping for a bit more oddities.

Although, according to Flans, the last few weeks of December are going to be rife with panic and weirdness, so I'm not giving up yet. 

Anyway, another incredibly strong bunch of songs, the majority of which will appear on They Might Be Giants' 17th studio album, Glean, coming April 21st. Glean review should show up here in a few weeks.

And, Alessandro Cortini released his third (and final?) Forse album. Good for him. If you like ambient stuff and/or his first two releases, check it totally out.

Review is HERE!!!!!

* As fully produced and mixed and fleshed out as it is.

** Created by Mark Marek, who's worked with TMBG in the past on their "(She Was A) Hotel Detective" EP cover art and the "Istanbul (Not Constantinople)" music video. 

A review of Alessandro Cortini's "Forse 3"

Don't let the purple vinyl fool you, this album does not contain Alessandro Cortini (Nine Inch Nails, How to destroy angels, SONOIO) covering Prince on a Buchla music easel*.

I was worried this might just be cast offs, leftovers fromForse 1 and Forse 2, but Cortini still has places to take us; tumultuous starfields, deep caverns, and to witness the coronation of unfathomable cosmic entities. 

 

Side A

Conta (Counts)**

Soft, 8-bit future, which builds and blurs and blots itself out.

 

Rimasta (Remained)

Jagged, hissing throb at its start, then a surprisingly rapid pace emerges. The first time a BPM is really noticeable, maybe in the entire trilogy. Deep, soothing waves emerge from within, providing comfort in this place. Dissolves into pixelsteam.

 

Side B

Scappa (Get Away)

Low, cavernous thrum to start, then something almost like strings develops, great juxtaposition, a pure white light shining up from the darkness below. The darkness persists, trying to swallow the light while it still can, the dark gets more menacing, the light more hopeful; it's a beautiful, sorrowful, slow motion battle/ballet. Light prevails, than is muted by the surrounding darkness, they both swell, matching each other until they come together as some royal, elegant hybrid, rising over everything, an absolutely goddamn gorgeous tale, if you've the eyes and ears for it. A dissonant conclusion...

This track makes me yearn for more instruments or some soaring vocals but does a tremendous job of doing what it does, expressing what it does, without the use of them.

 

Scotta (Sheet)

Blippy future stuff, with a grinding pulse beneath. After a moment, things get chaotic, then smooth out, then distort again, then smooth out again.

Noises of various pitches come and go, but nothing really happens here, grating. It just gets exhausting eventually.

 

Side C

Senza Aria (Without Air)

Something light and whimsical about this, delicate. Yet another example of Cortini's warmth and humanity shining through his machines. A human, beating heart powering metal lungs/jaws. I love the way this blossoms, the light descends and brings the lower sections into the celebration, it's almost a counterpoint to "Scappa".

Some golden tones ring out towards the end, unifying high and low, almost a coda. Everything shimmers out over the horizon. Light doesn't fully fade for quite some time...actually starts to get kind of annoying, to be frank.*** Following up a sumptuous meal with an ant-covered candy bar.

Wishing for digital version right about now...

Straight up piercing shriek at the end (at least I hope it's the end). Feels like a "fuck you" from Cortini.

This could have been three minutes shorter and fantastic.

Good name, because, by the end, I felt like I was being strangled.

 

Retta (Straight Line)

After a few uninteresting moments, the melody (very old and heroic) makes itself heard. "Senza Aria" is still lingering and has made me impatient, not a great place to be with any of Cortini's Forse albums. This isn't jogging music.

The playful melody continues to strengthen like sunlight through stained glass. Ends feeling palatial and spacious.

 

Side D

Macchia (Stain)

Wow, like stepping through a doorway and walking right into some sort of cosmic cataclysm. Unlike anything else in the Forse trilogy. The title might refer to something huge and ageless leaking through and tainting multiple realities, very troubling. And very, very big. The word "leviathan" comes to mind. The listener is bearing witness to the passing of something incomprehensible, hence the omnipresent chaotic susurrus in the background. 

 

Ritorna (Returns)

Something cold and militaristic about this; an army, clad in black, searching some ruined dystopian landscape.

There's no real melody here, just pulses of sick, distorted noise. In that sense, it's a bit like "Scotta". The ending gets bigger, bolder, but not much more interesting.

 

Bestia (Beast)

Thick, infected, techno pus. Filthy to hear a machine make such a noise; unique to Forse. Would be at home on something by Aural Rage. As it stands, a far less monumental conclusion to the Forse trilogy than it deserves. Fantastic texture though. The sound of techno-organic poison.

 

Of the twenty nine tracks that make up the Forse trilogy, I'd say there's about twelve really fantastic, stand out pieces among them, the rest, while still well crafted and nuanced (for the most part) end up blurring together. But, for most musicians, it's difficult to do anything more than clumsily wield a Buchla music easel, Cortini utilizes it as a true sonic artist.

 

A quick note regarding formats: I'd recommend not picking up the vinyl unless you're a collector/completionist; the worlds Cortini takes you to shouldn't hiss and pop unless he deems it appropriate. If you must have the limited edition clear, purple vinyl, head over to Important Records and get yours while they're still around. There's also the less ostentatious (and less awesome) black vinyl for five dollars cheaper. If you prefer something a bit more portable than a record, the digital release is set for March 24th on iTunes.

 

* Although I'd pay upwards of a hundred dollars to hear the results.

 

** Not the same "Conta" from Forse 2. I suppose Cortini ran out of two syllable Italian words...?

 

*** Sometimes, I review as I listen to things for the first time, hence the rather drastic change in my tone. Just a heads up.

End of the Month Music Bitchfest - February 2015

They Might Be Giants
Dial-A-Song Round Up! pt. 2

"Hate The Villanelle" (another TMBG song that will makes TMBG fans feel smarter than those of other bands) was premiered rather brokenly back in June of 2014 at an NPR thing in Brooklyn. The album version feels very Phil Collinsey, mainly in the instrumentation. It's a villanelle about how annoying it is to write a villanelle.
*drops bibliography*

You ever get upset that TMBG hasn't made enough music to which one can jitterbug? Meet "Let Me Tell You About My Operation", a brassy Flans number that, like, "Erase" (lyrically) is reminiscent of Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind. Seeing this live at their 2/22 show (with Dan Miller playing the trumpet parts masterfully on his guitar) was one of its highlights, and, while I'd love to see it with real horns, if this is the only live version they roll out, I'm sated.

"Answer" is a very grown-up feeling Linnell number. Reminds me of elements of both his interpretation of Jonathan Lethem's "The Second Longest Night"* and "House of Mayors". If you've never heard those, then you probably now understand how into They Might Be Giants I am. This was debuted at their 2/22 show and went off almost without a hitch, well done, Linnell.

...and then...the bummer...
In April 2013, Flans sent out an email to all IFC members with a "proto demo" of a cover of Jonathan Richman's "I Was Dancing In A Lesbian Bar". He said it was part of a project (called Tres Might Be Giants, featuring bass clarinet, guitar and drums) that was going to happen but never did. It was fun, a slightly more clubby/high-hatted version of the original, but, you know, nothing spectacular; no "New York City" or "Istanbul", yet another cover to add to TMBG's list of covers. I listened a few times and then kind of forgot it. So, how distraught do you think I was to find this to be the 8th song from the deluge of "brand new" They Might be Giants music?
Lots. I was lots distraught.
Yes, this version is slightly different, but it's clear that not a lot changed between this "proto demo" and the final iteration.
But, hey, here's the thing: everything else has been so stellar that I'm willing to accept this as some sort of hiccup and forget it happened. I am, however, very, very anxious about the first DAS release in March.

Next, TMBG just posted a link to their latest fan hug: Flood Live In Australia, which opens with a minute and a half of applause after their "Theme From Flood", a pretty clear indicator that TMBG needs to get there more often.
Strewth.**
Download it for free (as well as their First Album Live) and listen to them back-to-back with the original albums. It's weird and a bit misty-eyed.
And, speaking of live shows, a review (with photos!!!!!!!!!!!!) of their second Brooklyn Stand shows will be up soon.

And, finally, I've managed to find a downside to this overabundance of new They Might Be Giants music (aside from the Week 8 offering and its horrifying implications): Flansburgh announced at their recent Brooklyn show that their new album (entitled Glean and set for release on April 21st) is going to be assembled from the first months of these Dial-A-Song songs. There will be no mystery, no surprise. In other words; there won't be anything new on any of the They Might Be Giants albums coming out this year. Unless they completely blow our fucking minds and release brand new albums alongside their 52 new tracks...which, based on a few statements from Flans, will not be the case.
There.
I knew I'd find something stupid to complain about.
Yay.
I'm an asshole.

P.S. Here's a review of their 2/22 show.

Eels
Eels posted a little taste of the Albert Hall concert film. You can see it here.
And, E has a track on Ben Lee's new mixtape. You can hear that, as well as the rest of the project, here.

Beck
So. Kanye West.

/startrant

Here are some notes I took as this was happening.

Tomorrow's headline: Addled Millionaire Man-Child Embarrasses Jay-Z, Beyonce, Self at 75th Annual Grammy Awards

For one second, imagine that hadn't been Kanye West, just some guy. Shot or just arrested and tasered?

What is it about money and fame that allows rude idiots with no grasp on reality to get away with things like this? Insane vs eccentric.

Then there's the fact that Morning Phase is better than Beyoncé.

Are my concerns because he was rude? No, because the media has given this jackass a mouthpiece and they praise him for this: "He's not unstable...he's wacky! And, seriously, thank Christ for this delightful jester and his outrageous rambling japes! If it weren't for him, we'd have to focus the music and not the people making the music! Which would not be lol!!!!!

If you're so sick and tired of being disrespected in the industry, then leave the fucking industry. The impetus for his pee riot is the same impetus that makes people go on the subway and scream about God when they personally feel people don't go to church enough, only they get ignored, because they're not this rich and celebrated cock. Also, quick survey: how many times, after being forcibly exposed to some God Shouter, have you thought "you know, that screaming zealot is right! I'm going to make a fresh start right now!"? If you answered anything other than never, then you're probably too dumb to even have understood the question, or even read this.

Can we get Kanye to wire his jaw shut again? But, I don't know...tighter this time?

/endrant

And, finally got around to listening to the new Aphex Twin EP, Computer Conducted Acoustic Instruments Pt.2. In two words: Yes. More.
It's dark and sinister and organic*** and funky and jazzy and scary as hell. You can feel James' demon's grin behind every discordant plink and clonk. But there is some beauty, specifically the soft, gorgeous piano piece, "Piano Un10 It Happened"****. There's also the genteel robot playing piano on "Piano Un1 Arpej" and again on "Disk Aud1_12", although, on that second one, the robot is clearly short circuiting. "Diskhat1" feels like the soundtrack for a gangly, razor-wielding psychopath's night out on the town, painting it red. "Diskprept4" is the introduction to a new, insane clockwork villain for the next season of Doctor Who and also feels like Reznor and Ross' Dragon Tattoo. "Disk Prep Calrec2 Barn Dance [Slo]" could be…perhaps…the circus' funeral procession for a dead clown who may have killed a kid.

Hey, remember, ten seconds ago when I said "Yes. More."?...Richard D. James just released a hundred and fucking ten unreleased and/or new Aphex Twin tracks.
If you need to know why, just look at his smile and all questioned will be answered...
Here are all 110, ready for free download.





* Jonathan Lethem developed the "Promiscuous Materials Project". You should check it out.

** Just kidding, they performed the album backwards...like, the song order, not, like, facing away from the crowd... But, still, they really should get to Australia more often.

*** But organic like a cyborg's skin that's been grown in a lab from human peptides could be considered organic. You can really imagine Richard D. James in a huge white room filled with acoustic instruments all being played by metal arms and legs that he's programmed.

**** Yeah, the track titles on this are pretty fucking awesome.

End of the Month Music Bitchfest - January 2015

They Might Be Giants
Welcome to the first of, oh, let's say, twelve installations of...

The Dial-A-Song Round-Up!*

Dial-A-Song returned this month with four brand new They Might Be Giants recordings, the first of which is a straight up guitar-centric rocker helmed by Mr. John Linnell. It's called "Erase" and is a fabulous start to this Year of Dial-A-Song. It fits with the age old TMBG trope of pairing bouncy, frenetic music with dark-as-hell lyrics ("when darlings must be murdered/when your heartbreak overwhelms your heart", "think of this as solving problem that should never have occured/please don't call it strangulation, that is such an ugly word", "the skeletons that won't stay down/the mercy kill that can't be drowned"). Such a return to form...it's almost too perfect.

Next, is a mellow, piano-driven track led by Flans called "Madam, I Challenge You To A Duel". At their show on January 25th, where this (and every other DAS song, for that matter) was debuted live, Flansburgh revealed that the genesis of the song came from this YouTube clip of Oliver Reed and Shelley Winters on the Tonight Show back in 1975. I'd like to imagine the number of songs with that origin can be counted on one, giant, foam finger. 

After that, already breaking from form, is a circusy/balladey type thing featuring Corn Mo as the sole vocalist. It's called "No Cops" and tells the story of a group of people who seem to have taken the band and the audience hostage ("we’ve locked all the doors and please understand/we’ve nailed down the latch so meet our demands/in the time that we permit, or else the band will get it"). They then go on to say that "(they) are here to steal your dreams" and then urge us to "listen and comply". This will serve as the new introduction music for TMBG's upcoming world tour.
Obviously. 

And, finally, the crown in this first month's collection, "Music Jail, Part 1 & 2"**.
Part 2 is my favorite and should be yours as well. I'm not even going to explain this, just listen for yourself. Also: how fucking insane is that video?

A wholly excellent offering for TMBG fans for this first month of Dial-A-Song.
It can only get worse from here.

As for that January 25th concert I mentioned earlier...that is to be the first of twelve shows at the Williamsburg Hall of Music that TMBG are having the last Sunday of each month for the entire year. Aside from two or three tracks I could've done without (you can probably guess which ones by now), it was a total blast and I'm looking forward to the rest of my spoiled-rotten-by-They-Might-Be-Giants year. Review of the show can be found here.

Eels
While working on the follow up to The Cautionary Tales Of Mark Oliver Everett, Eels will be releasing a new live album (and concert film), specifically of their performance from June 2014 at the Royal Albert Concert Hall. A little surprised and bummed they didn't put one out for their fantastic 2013 tour, but, knowing E, that's not an impossibility.
Fingers crossed.
Info and pre-orders and stuff here.



In other news, I sifted through some of the "best of" lists from the end of 2014, namely, Rolling Stone's, NPR's, and that of my friend, Will. Most of what I listened to has become a blur except for the following:

• Haley Bonar's The Last War is utterly fucking fantastic (thank you, Will).
• Sia, FKA Twigs and Banks should all tour together and end the evening with a massive, suicide fuck pit.
• Rolling Stone no longer knows anything about music.

The new Manson album, The Pale Emperor, was released earlier this month and I reviewed it. It's the best thing he's done in over a decade, but it's still not very good. One thing I do have to compliment him on is the packaging***; it's minimalist in a way I've never seen from Manson and it's very effective. The requisite photos of Mason are very well shot and tell a story that the album's songs do not. The disc is as close to pure black as one can achieve in this day and age of record label branding, logos and those god damned cocksucking anti-piracy marks****, plus, the front and back of the packaging have a distinct sandpaper texture that I've never encountered before on an album. And, yes, I know that, when one is giving the most praise from an album to its artwork that there's a real fucking problem.
Like I said: it's still not very good.
You can read the full review here.

Finally, it's been over four years since Cake released any new music and, you know what? I'm done with them. So, replacing Cake for the foreseeable future on the End of the Month Music Bitchfest is....

St. Vincent
Annie Clark (who got so many goddamn rightly deserved Best Of The Year awards for her mind-blowing self titled album) will be releasing a deluxe edition of her St. Vincent featuring five bonus tracks; three of them awesome ("Del Rio", "Pieta" (a recent live staple), Sparrow"), two of them not as awesome ("Bad Believer", the Darkside remix of "Digital Witness").
She's expanded her tour again***** and will also be contributing to David Byrne's new project "Contemporary Colors", which, despite both their involvement, is centered around color guard and, therefore, I have no interest in.

And there you are; 2015 is here. I expect those two new TMBG albums, maybe some more Beck, hopefully a fucking peep from Reznor and the announcement of that new Eels by Q3. Otherwise, I'm turning this whole thing around and we're going to try again...until we get it right.





* Shit my dick, am I as bad as ever with titles...

** According to Linnell, it would have been called "Music Jail Parts 1 & 2", except somebody typed the name in wrong.

*** Although I should probably be complimenting the designer who came up with it.

**** LIKE THOSE EVER STOPPED ANYONE FROM PIRATING ANYTHING! AND ANOTHER THING! WHY DO YOU ONLY HAVE THOSE FUCKING ANTI-PIRACY REMINDERS ON THE BLU-RAYS I PURCHASE?! I ALREADY PURCHASED IT! I DIDN'T PIRATE IT, YOU STUPID, USELESS FUCKS!

***** If you missed it the first time, don't make the same asshole idiot mistake again.

A review of They Might Be Giants at the Williamsburg Hall of Music - 1.25.15

Let's begin with the admission that I am completely spoiled. One of my very favorite bands lives within a fifteen mile radius of where I live and, therefore, end up playing a whole lot of shows near me, so I get to see them a whole lot.
That being said: this year, on the last Sunday of every month, They Might Be Giants will have a concert at the Williamsburg Hall of Music...a ten minute cab from my home.
I plan on going to all twelve.
The first of these shows was on January 25th, my birthday.
Another bonus: for the majority of these, there is no opener; doors are at 7, TMBG takes the stage at 8 and plays until just about 10. I showed up less than a half hour before doors and ended up dead center, seven feet from Mr. John Linnell's keyboard.

Now, onto the show: I hadn't seen They Might Be Giants since December of 2013, and I usually find that these shows, the "first in a long time" shows, tend to be something special. TMBG had wrapped up their Nanobots tour at the end of 2013, and, aside from three or four special shows in 2014, had sequestered themselves in the studio, creating two new albums set for release later this year as well as (I assume) the bulk of their 2015 Dial-A-Song offerings.
On the whole, this was a fabulously well-rounded show, featuring a handful of live staples ("Birdhouse In Your Soul", "Istanbul (Not Constantinople)" (featuring the Screaming Space Rock interlude)), some old favorites returning for the first time in a long time ("Spiraling Shape", "Cyclops Rock"), brand new, never-performed-live songs, most from TMBG's recently resurrected Dial-A-Song service ("Erase", "Music Jail, Part 1 & 2"), some newer live staples ("When Will You Die?", "Hey, Mr. DJ, I Thought You Said We Had A Deal"), and, a few tracks I'd prefer to never hear again ("Damn Good Times" (with which they opened), "The Mesopotamians")*.

Standouts included "Cyclops Rock", "Man, It's So Loud In Here" (which I hadn't heard in its pre-Mink Car arrangement since 1999 or so), "We're The Replacements", "Spiraling Shape" and "Call You Mom". Also the banter...always the banter.

Next month is their "First Album Show".





* But, at least the Avatars of They appear to have been retired. They were funny the first five times but then...yeesh...

The Radio Mercury Awards

For the past ten or so years, I've been working as a professional voice actor in New York City (90-95% VO, 5-10% on screen actor).
The majority of VO auditions I go out on are boring, banal and completely lacking the cool/important/effective sound or vibe that the writers/clients want and need so desperately. Every once in a while, a job will come along that is rewarding, challenging, and fun (Speakaboos, Target) but those are exceptions.
Some of the more overused and tired directions these scripts come with are "not-announcery", "conversational", "friendly" and so on. Although these are well known tropes, often it seems like no one is doing anything to change the status quo. How can we make people think of something more interesting? To challenge themselves to write better copy and push their limits?
Offer them money, of course.
So, then there was the Radio Mercury Awards, who give $50,000 dollars to the agency/production company who comes up with the most creative/innovative/entertaining etc. radio ad.*
Anyway, about a month or so ago, my friend and VP of Just Voices, Roger, got in touch with an audition that was pretty much right up my alley: I had to do about a dozen different voices, each one mocking the shitty copy I've been reading for a decade.
I played like a child in the ocean.
I auditioned, felt great about it, and, a day later, booked it.
I got to record in one of my favorite studios in the city (Sound Lounge) and work with some giants of the industry, who I proceeded to impress and delight with my vocals skills and then, on top of all this...I was given money for it.
Long story short: here's the first part of what we shot, enjoy.

Things We Don't Want to Hear in a Radio Ad (Part 1) from Radio Mercury Awards on Vimeo.

* And a bunch of random sums to Best New Agency, Runners Up and so on.

A review of Marilyn Manson's "The Pale Emperor"

My hopes were, admittedly, low as I waded into Marilyn Manson’s 9th studio album, The Pale Emperor. Would it be a sad, wet fart? A leaking bag of liquescent, worm-ridden feces? Something worse? Or…something listenable…maybe even…enjoyable?

The biggest problem with this album is Manson, specifically his voice and his lyrics (except for a tiny handful of tracks). Also, the down-n-dirty thump drums are way, way, way overused, but, aside from those two (arguably, pretty crucial) issues…sweet Christ I cannot believe I’m saying this after so long…this album is not a reeking pit of garbage.
This is a compliment.

Things get off to a genuinely solid start with “Killing Strangers”. Seriously. No bells and whistles, no pointless, droning intros, just some utterly filthy bass and guitar, as well as some percussion that could either be a mud caked maraca or a gun being cocked. Although there is some of that silly, lazy, not-really word play (“this world doesn’t need no opera / we’re here for the operation”), it’s not overly grating. Throw in a really nice eerily moody, sorrowfully melodic outro and, holy shit, you’ve gotten my hopes up, Marilyn…wait, why are you handing me a box of tissues…? And smiling?

Things…depreciate…from this point on until almost the end of the album. For as garbled as his vocals are, one can’t deny that “Cupid Carries A Gun” is a pretty well made song. After that, the closer, “Odds Of Even”, which has some excellent atmospheric layers, ameliorates some of what’s come before it. Like the majority of the tracks on Pale Emperor, it’s too good for Manson’s vocals. There’s some chilling, old school croaking from Manson towards the end, a pleasant throwback for fans.

Along with those three tracks, a few others stand out, mainly (pretty much solely), for their music and not their vocals or lyrics, specifically “Mephistopheles of Los Angeles”, “Warship My Wreck”* and “Slave Only Dreams To Be King”. If you’re keeping count, that six solid tracks of the ten that make up The Pale Emperor. A stunning ratio.

I also need to take a moment and give sincere praise to the one and only clever turn of phrase on the album: in the single, “Deep Six”, a song mentioning Zeus and Narcissus, as well as referring to Icarus, Manson has the lyric (repeated maybe a few times too many) “Eros is sore”…well done, Marilyn. Whether this came from hours of quiet reflection or you seeing the word “sore” quietly reflected in a pool of semen (he’d probably have random pools of semen strewn about his home, yes? He is still the God of Fuck, right?): I am impressed.

But. This one shining example is embedded in a viscous ocean of mung. Some examples: “I don’t want your God and your higher power / I want power to get higher” (“The Devil Beneath My Feet”), “You are what you beat” (“Slave Only Dreams To Be King”), and “You want to know what Zeus said to Narcissus? / ‘You’d better watch yourself’” (“Deep Six”). Ugh. I try not to think too hard about the “meaning” of his lyrics these days, because doing so is like sifting through shit looking for undigested peanuts.
And just as rewarding.

To get off my snark horse for a moment, I did have another real issue; when I listen to this album, I get no sense of who this “pale emperor” is supposed to be. Is it Death? Because nothing on offer really cements that or any other idea. There’s war imagery, talk of guns, God, the Devil, demons, angels; there’s a “King” mentioned in “Slave Only Dreams To Be King” and a line in “Cupid Carries A Gun” referring to Death (“Folks say that I look like Death”), but none of that is the same as constructing a storyline or creating a character. Unlike Antichrist Superstar and, to a lesser extent, Mechanical Animals and Holy Wood, where there was a clear narrative with characters, and a beginning, middle and end, this is just a collection of songs plagued with Thumpy Drums. I’ll fully admit to being drawn in immediately by the title; it’s very evocative, and this lack of depth is the biggest letdown for me, even when stacked next to Manson’s near-useless voice and overwrought lyrics.

There are three things I would say to Manson if he weren’t preoccupied with…I don’t know…filling ravens with cocaine and then slamming them up his ass?…that sounds outlandish and silly enough to be something he’d do, right?

1. Fix your voice. I’m not talking about auto tune or anything along those lines, I’m talking about maybe drinking some water or not singing first thing in the morning or removing all the socks from your mouth before hitting “record”. Vocally, the songs here fall into two categories, for the most part: irascible ranting or groggy mumbling. Sometimes the ranting is groggy, sometimes the mumbling is irascible, but, either way, it’s mostly garbage. Quite frankly, I just can’t understand a lot of what the fuck he’s saying without a lyric sheet in front of me. It’s distracting.
2. Repeating something several times in one three and a half minute song doesn’t make it clever or expose a deeper meaning. In fact, if it’s just barely tolerable the first time, it only gets worse with each repetition. It’s called “diminishing returns”, Marilyn…and I am 100% certain you’ve heard that term a few times in the last decade.
3. Stick with Tyler Bates (guitarist, keyboardist and co-producer on Pale Emperor). While it might not be groundbreaking, the music here is miles better than anything you’ve done (with or without Twiggy) in the past ten years.

Aside from The Golden Age Of Grotesque, released in 2003, this is, shockingly, one of Manson’s best albums, alas, he’s still missing the clarity, focus and fury of his best works. He just doesn’t really have anything to say anymore, nothing we want or need to hear anyway. I’m done expending my energy hoping Marilyn Manson is going to have some sort of renaissance. I think Pale Emperor is the best we can expect from him now, in the same way that thyroid cancer is the best kind of cancer someone can get.

A note on the bonus tracks: all three are acoustic-esque renditions of tracks from the album, namely “Third Day Of A Seven Day Binge” (“Day 3”), “The Mephistopheles of Los Angeles” (“Fated, Faithful, Fatal”), and “Odds Of Even” (“Fall Of The House Of Death”), so, if you’re favorite aspect of those three songs is Manson’s vocals, then the deluxe version of the album is for you.  

* Stupid pun or sloppy spellchecking? You decide!

A review of Marilyn Manson's "Deep Six"

Is that a toilet seat cover on his face?

The first twenty-one seconds of "Deep Six", the newest single from Manson's upcoming emission, The Pale Emperor, are good.
Then, the vocals, drums, guitar and bass come in and that changes pretty deistically.

The first "verse" and the fourth "verse" are the same, as are the second and third "verse".
Yes, there is grumpy, mush-mouthed mumbling.
Yes, there is bad word play, repeated ad infinitum (you wanna know what Zeus said to Narcissus? / you better watch yourself"). Get it? Huh? Get it?

There's something somewhat appealing about the mantra towards the end and Manson pushing his voice to new heights of agony at times, but whether that's good or not, I'm not going to hazard an opinion.

This is, hands down, the most interesting thing we've heard from TPE thus far, including the first official single "Third Day Of A Seven Day Binge", "Cupid Carries A Gun" (which was used for the opening credits of Salem), and "Killing Strangers" (which was featured in the recent Keanu Reeves' blood orgy, John Wick).
That isn't saying very much.

The Pale Emperor begins his reign of mediocrity January 19th.
Hear "Deep Six", pre-order the standard or deluxe album (featuring three bonus tracks) or the hilarious, limited edition "definitive box" here, and mitigate your expectations.

The Year In Bitch - 2014

How the fuck is the year almost over?
*sigh*
We're all gonna fuckin' die.

Biggest Surprises
Since it's important to be positive, let's just get that out of the way first.

Aphex Twin - Syro
The biggest surprise for me this year was, within the span of just about a month, the announcement, reemergence and release of the "new" Aphex Twin album, Syro. He could have just done an interview or posted to his Facebook page, but fuck that, this is Richard D. James, Electro-Jizz God King. The marketing campaign for Syro utilized a blimp, the AT logo spraypainted all over New York City, and a press release that looked as if it were run three times through Google Translate.
That is how you announce something.
That is how you surprise people.

Thom Yorke - Tomorrow's Modern Boxes
Another fantastic surprise was the out-of-nowhere release of Thom Yorke's stellar Tomorrow's Modern Boxes, a direct follow up to his 2006 solo effort, The Eraser. Yorke said the whole point of the release was to see if people could "get their heads around" using BitTorrent's "pay-gate" system for music delivery. Whether or not it worked, the resulting album feels a lot less like an experiment than I was expecting; it's rich, varied, and stands up after multiple listens.

Maxi Bacon - Maci Baxon
The discovery of the existence of Maxi Bacon.
But more on that later.

Tori Amos - Unrepentant Geraldines
Finally, the most pleasant surprise, which wasn't, technically speaking, a surprise, was how much I enjoyed the new Tori Amos album, Unrepentant Geraldines. I've been a fan of her and her fire for years, but, during the mid-2000's until the beginning of this decade, when she started recording with a full orchestra and released the epic, complex tapestry that is Night of Hunters, I've felt indifferent towards her work. Her decision to start working with an orchestra reinvigorated her music and gave it new dimension, so, when she announced that her newest album would be a return to tradition recording, I became very worried. As it turned out, I had no reason to be; Geraldines might be her best album in fifteen years.

Nothing else surprised me this year.

2014 LIVE
I saw so many fucking shows this year (for me)...this has taught me one thing: I'm getting too old/bored/fed up with showing up hours early and listening to assholes to do GA anymore. Might be time to start looking into paying people to stand in line for me. Because, I, too, am an asshole. And a whiny one at that.

I had the good fortune to see three of my five favorite bands live this year: Beck, Eels and Nine Inch Nails, as well as St. Vincent, Mother Feather, TV on the Radio, Damon Albarn and Tori Amos.

I only usually see bands with whose music I am intimately familiar. Mainly because, if I haven't heard the song before, hearing it for the first time live is silly, as no PA I have ever encountered is good enough for a neophyte to make out the lyrics, also, I'm too persnickety to just "enjoy the music", so I end up standing there the whole time wishing I knew what the fuck the people on the stage were trying to tell me. This factor was the downfall of both TV on the Radio and Damon Albarn. Both shows were tremendous, but, more often than not I was just waiting for the part of the song that I knew and/or hoping I'd be better acquainted with whatever was coming next.

Tori was...a force of nature. This had been the first time I'd seen her in about fifteen years and, aside from not being savvy to the majority of the set, I loved it; it was like going to a place of worship and finding that your deity of choice just happened to be playing piano that night. Her fans though...I'm a firm believer that the only problem with the place I live, and, indeed, where everyone lives are the people living there. I fucking hate people and go out of my way to not be counted among them, hence why I always travel with huge headphones clamping the sides of my face. Tori may love her fans, but the twats to the left, texting and tweeting how awesome it was to see Tori Amos live! OMG! LOLLERSKATES! ROFLPUKE! and the massive king cunt to my right who was singing in broken English, louder than Tori's amplified voice along with every song he knew and discussing...Christ knows what, I don't speak Catalan...during those that he did not....those "people" deserved maiming, at the very least.
I told you I was too old for things.

I've seen Eels almost ten times and every time has been different, with its own highs and lows. While this was a great show, rife with songs I'd never heard performed live...I couldn't help but feel like something was missing and, at this moment, I'm having trouble really recalling it to memory. This probably has more to do with this year's The Cautionary Tales of Mark Oliver Everett than anything else. More on that later. I do recall that the opening, E coming out and singing "When You Wish Upon A Star", almost immediately brought me to tears. So at least that's still happening.

Out of these, the best live experience comes down to a tie between St. Vincent (who I had never seen live* but will always see live from this point on) and Beck, who I have seen a handful of times. St. Vincent's Digital Witness tour was so perfectly rehearsed and choreographed, and Annie Clark's presence so vastly different throughout its ninety minute span that I can't imagine anyone seeing this show and not adding it to the top of their list. It was actually awe inspiring.

But Beck...come on...he's the second funkiest white man alive! Plus, all of the Morning Phase material sounded fantastic and he played both "Sexx Laws" and "Debra"! Shit, this is tough... You know what? Fuck it, my favorite live experience this year goes to Mother Feather, whom I saw on my birthday with my best friend, at the Bowery Ballroom. The blistering pop cock rock that exploding on my face that night has yet to be recreated by either Annie Clark or Beck Hansen.
Way to go, ladies.

Biggest Disappointments

Most of my disappointments this year have to do with Trent Reznor.
Now, before I start venting my spleen, there's something you should know: Trent Reznor might be my favorite artist, so, when I bitch the hardest about him, it's because I know he's capable of so much more. Like a father...I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed.

Although I was genuinely fucking livid after my Nine Inch Nails touring experience this year. I had spent upwards of four hundred dollars (merch, tickets, transportation etc.) to see NIN twice in a row, as Reznor has always tried to keep live shows varied from night to night, because, for as humble as he appears to be, he is aware of how slavishly dedicated a lot of his fans are. Through some strange twist of fuck, both shows were identical. This, on its own, would have been a cockslap, but, some time soon after that second identical show ground to a close, a picture of that evening's original set list appeared...with several different songs. What happened? No one knows. All we have is the anger.

Then, there's the Gone Girl score that Reznor and Atticus Ross released earlier this year. As I've spewed piss about this for months already, I'll cut to the chase: I believe that Reznor should have either done that final leg of his tour or worked on this score. I think, by committing himself to both, that both were of a lower quality than they could have and should have been. Hey, people do it all the time, and, no matter how many Nine Inch Nails posters I have on my walls, Trent Reznor is still a person.

And, our last stop on the Trent Reznor 2014 Monorail of Sadness: the deluxe reissue of The Fragile...or, rather, the motherfucking, ballshitting continued lack thereof. This year was the fifteenth anniversary of Nine Inch Nails' The Fragile, the unequalled, two disc opus which featured some of their most disparate and fascinating music to date...and the reissue, which Reznor has been teasing for almost ten fucking years, was nowhere to be seen. In my mind, now addled with desire and time, this reissue (replete with a 5.1 mix, unreleased music, and a Blowjob Machine**) will not only reinvigorate my love for this album and this band...but it will also cure cancer.
Who's overreacting?
Fuck you.

Onto Eels. While I wouldn't call The Cautionary Tales of Mark Oliver Everett a disappointment exactly, the fact that it paled in comparison (for me, always for me) to last year's Wonderful, Glorious combined with the fact that Damon Albarn dropped his cold and lonely gem, Everyday Robots around the same time...well, it just got overshadowed. There's some genuinely great stuff on there, and, of course, I'm going to revisit it, but, just as with Hombre Lobo, nothing was going to live up to the pure, tear streaked brilliance of Blinking Lights and Other Revelations. No worries though, we'll see you soon, E.

The Bests! Yeah, The Bests!
Okay, in retrospect, maybe crafting a 2000+ word summation of my personal musical experiences in 2014 was a bit presumptuous. You don't know who I am and, therefore, why would you give even the slightest fuck about my opinion of stuff? Why am I even writing this?! Do you know how many tweets 2000 words is? Fuck!
So, I'm just going to get right to it. 

I was going to nominate*** Beck's Morning Phase as my favorite album of the year, but it's going to have to be St. Vincent's self titled release. While Morning Phase is an absolutely amazing second movement to the symphony he started over a decade ago with Sea Change, it's nothing new, just an evolution (a brilliant and glimmering evolution that emcompasses everything right about music), whereas Clark's St. Vincent just defies description. If you haven't heard it, you're missing out on what makes music exciting and vital.

Along with those two, I'm going to toss out Damon Albarn's solo debut, Everyday Robots, Yorke's Tomorrow's Modern Boxes, TV on the Radio's Seeds (although I've only had that for a month or so) and...Maxi Bacon's Maci Baxon.

I've been a fan of Albarn, St. Vincent, Beck and TV on the Radio long enough to know what to expect, in a general sense. All of those artists are capable of surprising me, but in a predictable way, if you dig. Beck is going to have some super funk, or, depending on the type of hat he's wearing at the moment, some soulful, bluesey folk, perhaps accompanied by gorgeous strings, conducted by his father. Albarn is going to have something doleful or faux doleful, most likely underscored by some African beats. St. Vincent is going to play her blizzed out styrofoam guitar and sing with barely restrained chaos and panic in her voice. But Maxi Bacon...these guys...surprised me. I did not know this sort of thing even existed. Do I sound like a thirteen year old boy who has just discovered masturbation? Maybe. But it doesn't change how awesome orgasms are.  

Hopes & Fears for 2015
What do you fucking think? I want the goddamn Fragile reissue.
You fuck.

And there you have it.
Sorry to have bothered you.
Have a nice day.

Paul Guyet is an actor and writer living in New York City. He's violently opinionated and has a penchant for hyperbole, which makes him perfect for music journalism. He also has an affinity for talking about himself in the third person. He has a podcast, a website and a twitter, but he doesn't think he's better than you.

* I saw her with David Byrne when they toured for Love This Giant, but that doesn't count.

** Blowjob Machine not yet confirmed.

*** Oooh, nominate! Look at me, I'm Baron Von Fancyman, nominating folks for things!