End of the Month Music Bitchfest - November 2012

Nine Inch Nails

• The release (finally) of some new How to destroy angels_ music with their "An omen EP_". Despite the pretentious and superfluous* punctuation choices, this is a really solid release and makes me even more stoked for the full length album, coming in "Spring 2013"...apparently. Between this, their first EP and that cover of "Is Your Love Strong Enough?", one could cobble together about an hour's worth of HTDA music...if one were so desperate for How to destroy angels_ music inclined. I reviewed it and you didn't/don't want to read it. Also, the band released their music video for "Ice age", directed by John Hillcoat (director of The Road). Not bad; there are some pretty cool visual effects towards the end that seem slightly reminiscent of the video for NIN's "The Hand That Feeds" but cooler. And, is it me, or are Mariqueen's eyebrows COMING OUT OF THE SCREEN TO KILL YOU!!!!!! Take a look.

• The release of the "Theme for Call of Duty: Black Ops II", both the "original" version and the "orchestral" version. What can I say? It sounds like Nine Inch Nails doing a huge and cinematic video game theme song. Check it out.

• Trent Reznor's very first AMA ("Ask Me Anything", not "Against Medical Advice") session over at Reddit. In a nutshell: mostly bad or no news, some cockteasing and cryptic bullshitery and a few breadcrumbs that NIN fans will have to make into twelve course meals for the next decade or so. No surprises there. Put on your Internet Asshole Boots and slog on through, if you really want to.

• But, the most exciting bit of Nine Inch Nails news this month (ACTUAL Nine Inch Nails news, not Trent Reznor, not HTDA) is the procurement of four unreleased remixes that Danny Hyde (a remix artist and occasional member of Coil) created for Nine Inch Nails back in the 90's: one for the remix EP Fixed and three for the remix album Further Down The Spiral (which, I just got learned from the interthing, is one of the highest selling remix albums in music history). It's these remixes (the first two, for "Gave Up" and "Closer" are great, the second two, for "The Downward Spiral" and "Eraser" are less than great) that spurred this "Coil Review Project" that I have foolhardily undertaken. The things Coil does to these songs...in some cases they strip them down to their barest elements and in others, they completely obfuscate and dement everything familiar about them. Theirs are the most interesting (and, at times, unlistenable) Nine Inch Nails remixes to date and nothing since has been as noteworthy. I'll put it another way: you've seen Se7en? You know those amazing opening credits? That's Coil's remix of "Closer". Also in this bundle of music acquired by the Nine Inch Nails discussion board community, Echoing The Sound, are a handful of edits of the remix of "Gave Up" which appear in the new(?) film, Young Americans. If you have any interest, you can find these on The Pirate Bay and...potentially nowhere else.

Eels

E...come on, seriously, this is too much! Mere days after reappearing and announcing a new album, a pre-order page pops up on the official Eels site offering a version of the album with a second disc containing another thirteen tracks! Five are all new b-sides and the rest are live tracks from their wang-rocking 2010 and 2011 tours. Plus, they've put up a brand new track. It's called "Peach Blossom" and it is just delightful. Spoiler alert: the celeste is BACK. Over the next two months, we'll probably see a music video or two and get another one or two songs as well. How do I know? BECAUSE E IS GOD DAMN DEPENDABLE, THAT'S WHY.
Along with this promise of twice what fans were expecting, Eels also posted some initial dates for their 2013 world tour.
Yes, they are coming to New York City (Friday, March 1st, Webster Hall) and, yes, I will be in attendance.



Beck

Beck's "Song Reader" is available now, apparently, although I'm not going to purchase it; it would be like Stephen King releasing a book only in Braille; only a small portion of his fans could enjoy it, and I am not among them. The preface, which sort of serves as his mission statement, has been posted and, while it is very well written and intriguing, I still cannot get behind this project. This really bums me out, but, there you go. I'll see which artists end up officially recording these twenty songs, but don't expect me to do backflips until Beck changes his mind and records the damn thing himself. To witness/take part in the shit show that is this amazing, never-before-seen musical experiment, head over to www.songreader.net and weep a bitter tear...or discover a hot new talent, I don't fucking know, however, if you do go there and you do listen to a bunch of the submissions, I beg of you, don't come back at me with, "You know, these actually aren't that bad..." just keep it to yourself and peddle your burnt and reeking spandex elsewhere.


They Might Be Giants

Still no movement with that fucking pizza...BUT, despite that, work on TMBG's 16th album is going very well according to Flansburgh (the final tracking session was on the 27th). There have also been a few more IFC goodies that I can't tell you about but of which you should be really jealous.
The band has also posted a heck of a lot of song titles from their upcoming album and its inevitable companion album of weird/inaccessible b-sides. Flans stated that the album is tentatively set for a late February or early March release.



Aside from my misguided quest to listen to all of Coil...there's really nothing else to speak of. I suppose, when I'm though with that little project, I'll talk to my contact at Rolling Stone and have it published....or just let them all sit quietly on the internet and die, slowly, from disinterest.
Either way.

*sigh*











* For the moment...maybe this is just the initial phases of some profound and amazing oh never mind.

A review of Coil's "The Remote Viewer"

This week, I decided to jump from Coil's first album sixteen years into the future (2002) and listen to something I've been curious about for years. It's called The Remote Viewer and is made up of five tracks (Remote Viewing 1-5), totaling just over an hour with the longest track (RV3) clocking in at a hair over twenty minutes and the shortest track (RV2), just a hair under eight minutes. There are no lyrics, only sounds. I was expecting some of that unlistenable clangor I keep mentioning, but I was surprised to find little, if any, on the album.

Remote Viewing 1 - Melodic, beautiful and sad. The insectile harmony in the background seems to fade away once the more musical elements are introduced. The bagpipes are abrasive, no doubt, but not intentionally so.* After the halfway point, things separate a bit and open up as the track starts to feel huge and expansive, a vast darkness, like a mine. The fact that this doesn't feel like twenty minutes is a credit to how solidly it's constructed.

Remote Viewing 2 - Okay, so, in the future presented here in The Remote Viewer, the sewer system of whatever megalopolises exist are run by computers. RV2 is the program error that bursts all the pipes and lets the sewage out and the rats in. The electric rats. Then, once we've dripped down and underneath these torn pipes and sparking rats, we find a tribal ceremony...and also a guy making a flobbery lip noise into some machines.** This is a lot more restrained and subdued than the proceeding track, more ambient.

Remote Viewing 3 - This is a dystopian future remix of the first track. The pervasive flutter and flicker of noise sounds like Coil produced and engineered an audio error by extracting badly damaged, almost unreadable data from a hard drive then converted it to sound. Then, the melody comes in and it begins to feel like the neo-Middle East.*** Things change noticeably when a scrambled vocal sample and a new melody are introduced and even more so when the bass comes in. This is a really spectacular moment. After spending some time bouncing around inside this weird place it's created, RV3 blips itself to death.

Remote Viewing 4 - A malfunctioning, robot minister preaches to its glitchy, broken congregation, which responds by raising its voice in unison until the beat comes in and the service begins: heavy, industrial and, like RV 3, slightly Middle Eastern. At one point, everything cools down and fades away in a tide of not-quite-static before those omnipresent bagpipes kick in, and that awesome, driving beat picks back up. Eventually, things finally dissolve into a cloud of dark strings. This is the most immediately engaging track here; while there is some unpleasant noise, it's far less unpleasant that anything else on the album...which is a horrible way to get someone to listen to something, but, there you go.

Remote Viewing 5 - This starts out darkly mischievous, like a prank that will inevitably result in mutilation. Then the fake guitar/keyboard piano comes in and, at first, kind of ruins the mood; it sounds so dated, like a bad Bond movie score or 80's Depeche Mode...but, upon further listens, it works very well with the rest of what's going on, it just seems a bit incongruous with everything that's come before it. The beat is really great. RV5 sounds cold, anachronistic and Siberian.

As a whole, The Remote Viewer was more than just listenable, it was really great; fully realized, well assembled and featuring some very melodic arrangements. RV5 was a slightly disappointing conclusion to what ended up being a surprisingly good and deep album.
If I had to throw out some themes for this album, they would include: insects and robots in church, the Middle East, technology gone wrong, bag pipes...hm, these aren't really themes so much as the sounds that make up RV. Okay, let's try this: the theme is hidden beauty; that, sometimes, you have to sift through the noise and chaos to find the soft, melodic center of things, you have to earn it.
Yeah, I like that better.
The Remote Viewer, when stacked up against everything else I've heard thus far is so shockingly different...it's internal and reflective...miles away from the likes of "Panic", "Circles Of Mania" and "The Anal Staircase".
To put it another way: Normal people might actually enjoy some of this.
Of which I am not one, so, maybe I'm completely wrong.
Ah well.
Thanks for being here.










* I think. My tolerance for Coil might just be getting higher

** I never said this narrative made sense, this is a Coil album.

*** Whatever that is.

A review of Coil's "Scatology"

Yup, "the study of excrement".

And, yup, the album cover is an upside-down cross with a naked ass in it.

Here we go.

This is Coil's very first album (originally released in 1984) and I have NO clue for whom it was intended.

The more I learn about the band and their practices as far as releasing albums and their live shows...well, I seem to actually be learning less about who their intended audience was. So I'm just going to assume that they were making this for themselves, which is a perfectly valid reason for someone to make music. The fact that it somehow got out to the general public is a little harder to understand, but, hey, taste, am I right?

No.

The album starts with "Ubu Noir", a song that would be the perfect background music to a demonic church social/bake sale/sock hop...or maybe a masquerade where, underneath the guests' masks, there are only holes that pass into other dimensions... The looping, somehow swaggering, lunatic horns combined with the tolling of huge, sepulchral bells and the sound of what could be a man undergoing some sort of torture is...well, it's Coil. Pure Coil. This song tends to make the people I have played it for uncomfortable. Something is definitely wrong here.

The next track, "Panic" makes me uncomfortable...because it is so cringingly 80's and badly executed. The drum machine on this very well could be the same one that They Might Be Giants used on their debut album...also originally released in 1986. The handclaps certainly sound familiar... John Balance spends most of this song just yelling stuff and it's awful. It isn't scary or creepy, just really abrasive and obnoxious. And dated. It has a very Mighty Boosh vibe to it.
"Panic" is followed by another straight-up amazing Coil instrumental: the simple yet profound sadness and terror of "At The Heart Of It All". There is something lurking here... I can't think of many better uses of simple reverb and I know there does not exist a more effective and unsettling arrangement of clarinet, keyboard and piano. This is uneasy closure...a funeral for a beloved villain...a sexually abusive father who may or may not have been killed by the focus of his abuse.
"Tenderness of Wolves" combines a repetitive crashing sound, the sound of children in distress*, a badly strummed guitar and those horrible synthesized tooting whistles from the score to IT, which, while still pretty creepy, isn't nearly as epic and profound as ATHOIA. After a minute or so of this disturbing soundscape, we get Balance reciting what might be a nursery rhyme for very, very bad children in an insectile voice that just crawls right behind your eyeballs and starts kicking. It is quite annoying...much like the next track "The Spoiler".
This sound like a rambunctious sea shanty/waltz and, once again, reminds me of something from Mighty Boosh; I can actually see the Hitcher performing this. After about thirty seconds, one gets tired of Balance yelling "Spoilah! Spoooilah! The spooooooilaaaaaah!!", and yet, the song goes on...annoying and grating, the song goes on. I imagine that Rob Zombie really loves this and wants to make a retro-50's horror film based on it.
"Clap" is a little over a minute and I firmly believe that, somewhere, there is a forty-eight minute EP comprised solely of the individual tracks that make up this song. It opens with some of that bendy, shrieking guitar that is also featured in Prince's "Computer Blue", which, believe me, was very confusing. Then, a thumping, monotonous video gamey beat comes in and that's sort of it. This could have become something interesting...or that aforementioned forty-eight minute EP I mentioned, so, I'll just say I'm fine with this being the length it is and move on.
"Restless Day", like "Tenderness of Wolves" also has a nursery rhyme quality to it. It gets better with progressive listens, but not much. It almost sounds a bit like Primus at time... This one really doesn't stand out all that much. The vocals are less insectile and more nasal; I'm not actually sure if this is John Balance or Peter Christopherson on vocals.
Then, another perfect piece of murder music: "Aqua Regis". This is another track where, as soon as it comes on, everything around you becomes more dangerous and broken. If I didn't know better, I'd say that Trent Reznor sampled the massive clanking in this for his track "Reptile"**. This is so completely Silent Hill that one must question Akira Yamaoka's awareness of Coil; it's too easy to picture Pyramid Head slowly making his way into some flooded, subterranean lair while this drones on in the background.
Next, an act of invocation with "Solar Lodge". I really like the simplicity here. The thudding background and squalling guitars seem to matter less as soon as Balance start chanting the lyrics, again and again: they are basic, easy to remember, like a prayer... "See the black sun rise / from the solar lodge"
Dripping sewage and a huge, moaning guitar or horn of some sort coalesce with an occasional skittering hi-hat to form "The Sewage Worker's Birthday Party". Such an evocative title... The huge sound, whether it's a guitar or a horn, remind me of the Nine Inch Nails track "At the Heart Of It All"***. At one point, you can hear someone opening a present...maybe it's soap.
The first thirty seconds or so of "Godhead=Deathead" consists of the sounds of Balance (or someone) opening a package and then...well, that someone making love to bubble wrap. You don't believe me? Listen for yourself. Then, it becomes some bizarre polka, interrupted by Balance's anti-Christina grunting and squeaking, then back to the dance floor at Hell's most popular pub.
The penultimate track, "Cathedral In Flames" (a bit on the nose, eh, gentlemen?) has a huge and pompous (and faux) Grecian feel to it which just makes this already ridiculous song even more so. Although the lyrics, like that of "The Golden Section", have a Biblical feel to them:

Circle within Circle / And when that hour came / From words they passed to deeds / Spires, Spirals, and Stones rise / And in the distance, a cathedral in flames / Given a chance to recover his breath / And exposed to the process once more / The youth squirmed / In a shower of gold / That etched on his skin the words: 'Paradise stands in the shadow of Swords'

Pretty chilling stuff.

And then...the final track of Scatology...a cover of Gloria Jones' "Tainted Love".

Oh man is this the least accessible cover of anything ever. So, when Soft Cell covered this, it focused on the vulnerability of the lyrics, when Manson did his cover, he focused on the anger one might feel in this situation, but Coil's cover? Pure, black, soul-obliterating self-loathing. This isn't a guy with a broken heart pining for his lost love, this is a guy with a broken heart which has been stuffed with dead insects floating in formaldehyde. Add to these themes "death by AIDS (the subject matter of the music video)" and you've got quite the chart topper on your hands. Whew.

Scatology is so binary...you have tracks like "Ubu Noir", "At The Heart Of It All" and "Aqua Regis"; huge, soundscapes which spawn a variety of neverending vists one must never look upon...and then things like "Panic", "The Spoiler" and "Godhead=Deathead" which are just so...my-older-brother's-basement-4-track. After their very first release, the hilariously spare and unlistenable sixteen plus minute How To Destroy Angels EP (which consists of that "song" and then a track called "Absolute Elsewhere", which is a blank vinyl side), some of this fits right in and some of this is so...unexpected and...poppy. 

And I'm still wondering who was buying these albums and going, "Yeah...yeah, okay, I get it..."

While I don't think I'm going to really gain any deeper understanding as I continue my aural adventure, I'm certain that I will start to shit myself more often.

And that should be interesting.

Until next week.

* Something Marilyn Manson borrowed heavily from for hi s"he Hands Of Small Children"

** But I do know better; that the sample in "Reptile" is from The Poisedon Adventure.

*** Totally unrelated to the track of the same name from earlier on this album, although it's been speculated that it might be a reference.

A review of Coil's "Horse Rotorvator"

First things first: Horse Rotorvator. The album is called Horse Rotorvator.

And we all have to deal with that fact.

So, continuing with my self-inflicted masochistic quest to force my ears all the way through Coil's illusive discography, this week I have been chewing on their second full length album...Horse Rotorvator, which was released in 1987.

The first track from this work is something I have been familiar with for years; it's called "The Anal Staircase" and it is fucking ridiculous.

"And the angels kiss/Our souls in bliss/Measure the extent of a dizzying descent/Down the Anal staircase/Put just one foot on the staircase/And the next step you're down here on this face/Down the Anal staircase"

Is it a warning? An invitation? What are the stairs made of? So many questions that I do not want answered. The music is hilariously over-the-top, with swooping strings (taken from Stravinsky's "Rites of Spring"), a thudding drum that could be an actual timpani and (of course) the sound of children laughing.
There's also a lot of industrial stuff that sounds a whole lot like something from Nine Inch Nails' debut album which came out two years later. Hearing this, it's hard to believe that, about ten years later, Coil will make the nightmare that is A Thousand Lights In A Darkened Room, but, hey, evolution, man, right?
Next up is a somewhat annoyingly twangy and bouncy track called "Slur" which sounds like something from one of the less accessible shorts on Liquid Television. There's some interesting stuff floating around on this one.
Things begin to get a bit more intense and less silly with "Ostia (The Death of Pasolini)", which has some surprisingly beautiful violin in it, as well as that ancient, ritualistic feel that can be quite unsettling when listened to in the right circumstances; not terrifying, just evocative. The lyrics refer to Samson and his battle with the lion and also driving one's car off the cliffs of Dover. That name "Ostia" speaks of a city made of bone, and I love the images it conjures.
After a strange little thing called "Herald", there is some straight up industrial shit with "Penetralia"*. This one also has a lot of Nine Inch Nails in it, but with some really nice Middle Eastern horns as well. Everything is going great until the song kind of disappears and gets real creepy before it rebuilds itself with even more industrial shit. YEAH!!!! Good stuff.
After this, with "Ravenous", we're taken to an Arab speakeasy...where they kill and eat people...and where there is a tear in reality...through which one can see lights...
Then, the screaming, open-mic fuckrant that is "Circles of Mania". This features John Balance screaming, laughing, discussing "long, hot, wet tongues licking and sucking and licking and sucking and sucking and (muddled licking/sucking/lip smacking noises)" as well as "fucking the holes in the ground" and then the sound of John Balance either pretending to fuck holes in the ground or the sound of John Balance actually fucking holes in the ground...and then laughing about it. This might be a difficult and obscure pull, but on this track, Balance has the quality of the performance artist's (Vulva, played expertly by David Walliams) sidekick from the episode of Spaced entitled "Art". Much like Staircase, this is way too ridiculous to be creepy and I find myself laughing right along with Balance, although whether it's because I find it amusing or because I have lost my fucking mind, I'm not 100% on; someone show me a hole in the ground and maybe we'll find out together... Whatever the case, the cheesy horns on this are awesome and remind me of the cheesy horns on the first Manson album, specifically in "My Monkey".
The next track, "Blood From The Air", could be a demo from The Downward Spiral. It's Nine Inch Nails without the accessibility. You know how listening to The Beatles makes a lot of pop less impressive and original? Well, this is sort of the same thing with Coil and NIN. It's like NIN took some/a lot of what Coil did and added melody, song structure, hooks, etc., then subtracted the insanity, the ranting and the abundance of songs lasting more than ten minutes and then got lauded as innovators in the field because of it. Hm.
Next up, a Leonard Cohen cover.

Then, "The Golden Section", which features what sounds like an entry from some holy and unwritten encyclopedia on Azrael, the Angel of Death, and his various manifestations to the dying; in the background, an angelic anthem, echoing around some great pantheon.

Finally, "The First Five Minutes After Death"; the album that began with a dramatic and swooping romp about an anal staircase ends with a ritual. Aside from sounding reminiscent of something from Nine Inch Nails' Ghosts I-IV, this also sounds a lot more like the Coil to which I'm afraid to listen in the dark, a very strong and solemn ending.

Something very interesting occurred to me while listening to Rotorvator: of all the bands that Reznor usually cites along with Coil as his influences (Front 242, Ministry, Skinny Puppy and the like), Coil is really the only one I've enjoyed. I find all the others a bit flat and lacking in that special sonic something that Nine Inch Nails brought to the genre of industrial. I think it's the unique and sometimes frightening sound that Coil has, that sense of menace and impending doom inherent in their music that Reznor was able to harness and transpose and combine with the ragged, buzzsaw guitars and cold, chittering drum machines of these other industrial acts that caused Nine Inch Nails to stand out so far from the rest of the genre.

Anyway, while not all great or memorable, Horse Rotorvator has been quite a journey, and I look forward to taking another step, not on the Anal Staircase, but rather, towards my goal, next week.

Thanks for stopping by.

Please, please, wipe your feet.

* Much like "Ostia", a very evocative name for a place I'd prefer never to visit.

Digression: check! Obscenity: check!

Last night, I masticated Dan Delgado for my upcoming podcast, digressive_obscenity, and it went EVERYWHERE.
And, not only that, but it went EVERYWHERE FOREVER.
By the end, my ProTools was hemorrhaging HW buffer clocks and RF data blips like...something that does that.
We clocked in at about two and half hours.
HOT.

Here are three topics we discussed:

1. Hand-crafting boxes in which people can grow lettuce
2. The movie A Serbian Film (considered as bad or worse that the Human Centipede films)
3. Collecting teapots

Also, I know I've only had four people on thus far, but Dan's Zombie Apocalypse Escape/Survival Plan was SO detailed...

I think I've decided how I'm going to release these, as sitting down at a set time every week with someone and then editing and releasing them on a set schedule doesn't really work for me; I'm going to try doing this in waves.
Once I have ten edited episodes ready to go, I'll release that wave, one episode at a time every week until I'm out.
Then, more people, more episodes, more waves, etc.
So far, this has been a lot of fun, and now that I have my free time back, I can focus on this thing for a while.
Such good.

This week has been a bear with a gun, and I'm ready for its end.

A review of Coil's "A Thousand Lights In A Darkened Room"

Since the promise and eventual acquisition of a handful of "lost" Nine Inch Nails remixes created by Danny Hyde over on the Echoing The Sound discussion boards*, I've decided to go back and actually listen to some of Coil's twisted, terrifying and, at times, incomprehensible and unlistenable discography. Luckily, there was a time (probably about six minutes or so after I heard Trent Reznor talk about how amazing they were and how much they inspired and impacted his own sound) when I downloaded their entire catalogue, and it was still right where I left it, gathering whatever the equivalent of dust is for mp3s.

I had no idea where to start, so I went with something titled "Black Light District". After doing some digging**, I learned that "Black Light District" is one of the dozen or so aliases the band had used over its twenty year career, and that the album by BLD is actually called A Thousand Lights In A Darkened Room.
Anyway, I've decided to listen to one Coil album a week, in no particular order, and report back on how it is.

First things first, this album could also have been alternately titled Music By Which Serial Killers Murder Scarecrows In A Dead City To. A lot of this isn't, technically, music, more...horrors. If more horror movie composers tried for this kind of sound, "horror movies" would become "screaming nightmare kill movies". I listened to this while going through my daily commute and my usual jaunts around the city...and it made everything hyper-terrifying...in broad daylight. One should never listen to this at night. I had it playing during the snowstorm on Wednesday, and it turned the winter wonderland that is New York City under a fresh coat of snow into a broken graveyard under which every puffy groundcloud of white lurked a rotting, sentient, starving corpse. COIL DID THIS.
While I originally thought that it would have been awesome to see these guys collaborate with a more melodic, song-based artist, I have since changed my mind; these things that they have created exist on their own and they are perfect in that way (plus, their extensive remix catalogue is a pretty fair example of what that original wish would have sounded like...hint: it sounds like an awesome nightmare). Everything sounds ritualistic, the songs, their titles, the sounds in their songs...
The first time I actually felt afraid while listening to ATLDR was during the third track, "Die Wölfe Kemmen Zurück", which consists chiefly of a droning noise punctuated by some repeated metallic clanking...for ten and a half minutes. FUCK YOU! YOU HAVE TO HEAR IT BEFORE YOU JUDGE ME INSANE! Look, I'll put it this way: have you ever had a scary dream? A scary dream that was so intense and terrible that it actually scared you awake? Now, have you ever tried relating said scary dream to someone, only to find them shaking their head and saying, "I don't get it"? That is what's taking place here. So, I say again, FUCK YOU! YOU HAVE TO HEAR IT BEFORE YOU JUDGE ME INSANE!
It isn't until the fourth track, "Refusal Of Leave To Land", when we finally hear John Balance's voice, and it is just as unpleasant as the sounds surrounding it; creaking and sharp with reverb, almost reptilian, it is a perfect compliment to the "instrumentation" in which it's swaddled. This is also the first track to have any real melody to speak of; some isolated, haunting notes, played backwards on a keyboard, sinking in a mire of noise.
"Stoned Circular II" also has something like melody, although it's more like...repeated sounds that form a phrase that falls somewhere on the musical scale...? Fuck it, whatever, there's a bass guitar in it, okay?
"Green Water" was recorded in a swamp. In R'lyeh***. And it goes clammy, glabrous tentacle in clammy, glabrous tentacle with "Cold Dream Of An Earth Star". I literally shudder to think of what is having such dreams as these...
Then, out of nowhere, a solid, straightforward (if slightly creepy) electronic track called "Blue Rats"...which is, naturally, followed by a minute of jarring, oscillating noise called "Scratches and Dust", before the final track, "Chalice", begins.
"Chalice" is beautiful like a flower arrangement at a child's funeral.
P.S. The child killed itself.
P.P.S. Because it listened to this album.

And that, reader, is Coil's A Thousand Lights In A Darkened Room.
I don't know where you can find it or if it actually exists outside of my mind, but, hey, if it doesn't, then I'm certainly in for quite the time.
I'll be back next week, unless I've eaten my own face to death.









* I'll get into this and my first exposure to Coil during this month's Bitchfest.

** Read: "typing 'coil black light district wiki' into Google"

*** YOU FUCKING PROVE ME WRONG, ASSHOLE.

My Thoughts On The Soundtrack For "The Man With The Iron Fists"

As a personal favor to William Pomerantz and as I have lost the funding for my feature-length documentary on Shock G/Humpty Dumpty, I have taken a listen to the soundtrack for The Man With The Iron Fists, and here are my musings:

First off, I've been listening to the Wu-Tang Clan since 1993 and I've followed them closely ever since...then, once ODB died, I sort of lost interest as the Wu-Tang Clan, in my eyes, did not exist anymore.
I've paid attention to some of their solo efforts, mostly Method Man's and RZA's and, to a lesser extent, the GZA's, Raekwon's and Ghostface Killah's. While most of them have had some pretty solid rap albums with a lot of the Wu-Tang guesting on their stuff, no one's career has been as interesting to watch unfold as much as Robert Diggs AKA the RZA aka Bobby Digital AKA about four hundred other aliases he's shed like snake skins over the years. Rather than just continue making albums and occasionally producing something, he's matured into something I've never seen before in the hip hop and rap industry; he brings something new and exciting to every release he works on, from Ghost Dog to Kill Bill and, most recently, to The Man With The Iron Fists, a film for which he not only did the soundtrack, but which he also directed, co-wrote and stars in.
Holy.
Fucking.
Shit.

On to the music...

The stand out tracks for me include the opener (of course) which sets the Black Keys opposite some wonderful hyperbolic rapping from the RZA. It has an excellent beat, as most every RZA song does, but it's marred horribly by the RZA's last line. After a litany of how badass he is ("I look the Grim Reaper in the eye", "I spit in a crocodile's eye", "I tell a great white shark to brush its teeth" etc.), he finishes with "I date rape Beauty right in front of the Beast". Wow. Really? Call me soft or whatever you want, but rape really isn't funny and this line not only goes against the playful vibe of the song, it really ruins the whole thing for me. Seriously, after twenty years in the rap game and you're making light of date rape?
Sadly, there are quite a few instances of really disgusting treatment of women on this album, like "White Dress" and "Get Your Way". I don't know...maybe I've grown up since my days of enjoying rap or maybe rappers have gotten even more horrible with regards to objectifying women in their music, but, man, some of this is just awful.
Anyway, despite that poor lyrical choice up front, there are a few other great tracks on here, such as "Rivers of Blood", an amazing Wu-Tang showcase, "Built For This", "Just Blowin' In The Wind", and "Six Directions Of Boxing", which has one of the best GZA verses I've heard in a while. The thing that always set the Wu-Tang Clan and its members apart from a lot of other rappers for me was how distinct each of their voices were, specifically Ol' Dirty Bastard's and GZA's. No one could ever mistake them for anyone else.
The rest of the album is made up of some pretty functional rap tracks ("Tick, Tock", "The Archer", "I Go Hard"), some R&B (which I have never been a fan of), a 70's funk beat with some Chinese singing done over it and some other stuff I couldn't really get into.

Quite frankly, I'd have loved to see RZA branch out more with his collaborations, because, while there is some great rap on here, it's just rap. I'm not talking about Trent Reznor and RZA*, but maybe more stuff like the track with the Black Keys...minus the rape, of course.
Anyway, whether RZA takes my advice or not, I'm sure of two things: first, that the Wu-Tang Clan, however diminished it might be in the year 2012, still ain't nuthin' ta f' wit and, second, whatever RZA does do next is going to be great and sound timeless and innovative, all at the same time.
I am fully planning to see The Man With The Iron Fists  as soon as I get the chance.










* You thought it, I'll say it: Trent RZAnor

First Impressions of How to destroy angels_, "An omen EP_"

This may be all I say on the subject as I'm boring myself with all this hype...which would totally make you cry a lot, right?

Keep it together
Pretty much forgotten once I realized there are five more tracks behind it. I suppose it's a nice, not-really-groundbreaking start to lull one into a false sense of disappointment? Hm. That's a bit harsh. There are some very cool sounds here, but it's just not as dynamic as I would have liked. Me. So, come on guys, did you not get my fax of "The Ways I Would Like Your EP To Be Dynamic"? Sheesh. Moving on...

Ice age
Wow. "Ice age" actually shocked me, it's so wildly different from what I was expecting. It's so bright and warm and almost Bluegrass! Musically, at least; the lyrics are quite a bit darker. I like where this starts and I like where it ends. This might be the best track on the EP.

On the wing
Something about this kept reminding me of a Depeche Mode song. I very much like the vocal interplay and Reznor's gentleness. Another very solid track that does pretty much everything right. I also dig the piano.

The sleep of reason produces monsters
This starts off with a crisp and clear sound not usually associated with (the seven other songs by) HTDA. Then it loses itself amid an ocean of electronics. The droning voices aren't great, but they seem to work. For me, this is the weakest track on the EP.

The loop closes
This utilizes the same sort of programming (plinking, staccato, almost random arrangement of sounds made into a pattern) as "Ice age" but isn't nearly as fresh or well implemented this time around; although it's different enough to still work well. The vocals, while sung with conviction, are kind of awful ("the beginning is the end and keeps coming around again!" Yow.). Some really great layers here though.

Speaking in tongues
And then we reach the final track...which uses the same programming as "Ice age" and the song that just ended. The feel of this one is much better though, and the lyrics are prophetic and apocalyptic and perfectly match the mood. However, they employ the same distorted noise from their first EP and this is a bit of a problem for me. If they had used a guitar effect or synth voice or whatever, that might be different, but this noise is so distinct that it's actually a bit distracting and takes something away from the evolution of their sound; as in "they've had all this time and they're still using the same, exact sound?" etc. Despite this, this is a great closer to a really solid release.

So, here's what I'm taking away from my first listen: Yes, they have definitely evolved and grown, just as Reznor said, which is always exciting, but, by using the same programming device in three tracks on a six track EP, they've sown some doubts in me with regards to their upcoming LP...coming in early 2015.
I mean 2013.
Totally early though.
Like...February.
Or maybe March.
Or MAYBE April.
Maybe.

Seriously though, the whole thing does sound really great and, as not all of these tracks will actually appear on that full length album  (everything except "The sleep of reason produces monsters" and "The loop closes", I believe), my concerns might be unfounded.
Once again, this was only my first listen and, guess what, I plan on listening to this...I don't know...maybe a few more times?
Like...four.
Or five.
...
THOUSAND.

You can hear "An omen EP_" streaming in its entirety here.

"I MADE HIM SNEEZE."

I'm not an unfriendly person, but, as far as my auditioning, I'm not overly gregarious.
In fact, I kind of hate that schmoozy bullshit that, people keep insisting, is all a necessary part of the business.
What this means is that, if someone talks to me in an audition, I'll talk to them; I won't schmooze or shill or anything like that, I'll talk to them. If some random guy who I'm in direct competition with starts talking to, seemingly, no one and listing how great he's doing and all the stuff he's booking and blah blah blah, trying, poorly, to psyche the other auditioners, I'll quietly roll my eyes and trash him here or write a script and trash him there.
All this to say that I don't talk a whole lot at auditions.
So.
Today, I had an audition at a place I'm more than familiar with and where I have booked a handful of pretty nice jobs. I've also gotten to know the guy that runs the place (Roger) and we have a genuine rapport (as opposed to that typical bullshit everyone always says at every audition...or at least I think I do, he might just be really good at making folks think so*). At the end of the audition, which went all right, I guess, Roger sneezed as I opened the door to the waiting room. There was a little silence, and, as I was heading to my seat to collect my headphones and coat, I suddenly yelled at the room full of guys waiting to audition: "I MADE HIM SNEEZE. I DID. AND IF ANY OF YOU WANT THIS JOB YOU'D FUCKING BETTER MAKE HIM SNEEZE TOO. WHAT?"
Then I left.
It felt pretty great.

Have a good night.











* I have always been...and shall remain, a boiling cauldron of equal parts explosive self-confidence and soul-parching insecurity...behold...an actor!

I Am An Idiot

After too little sleep last nighty and a full day today (booking from 10 to 1, then an audition from 1:30 to 2, then awful, awful work), I have made a very poor life choice.
As I left my booking this morning, I found that Hannah from TransPerfect had sent me a script that needed to be recorded by tomorrow at 6 pm. It's about 6000 words on about 30 pages and is estimated at about three hours of work (word count plus something equals about how long it should take me). The rate would be exactly one tenth of what I had made earlier that morning for the exact same amount of time.
So, I called Hannah, who is totally awesome and sweet and said that, for this amount of job, there's no way I could take what they were offering. She said she totally understood and was able to free up more money for me.
Because I really do love TransPerfect and the folks that work there, as well as the fact that these aren't auditions, these are people asking for me and then paying me, I agreed to do it.
Later on, I read the script.

I am a stupid, stupid idiot.
The script is an eLearning module about Dell's Cloud.
Everything. About. Dell's. Cloud.
The words...they're all words I know, but I've never used half of them and certainly not in the same sentence as each other.
When the fuck am I ever going to say the words "infrastructure" or "virtualization" or "Rationalization/Modernization and Application Migration" (although that last one has a horrid musicality to it)?
Well, I will tonight.
From about midnight until whenever this load of industry jargon fuckwash is finished.
Good thing the ground isn't covered by slush and the pipes aren't knocking in my apartment, causing the kind of background noise that will knock me out of my groove which is going to be incrdibly hard to find with a script this fucky.
Oh, fuck, I'm an idiot.

When (if?) I finish this load of blibber, I might post some, just so you can hear how fucking awesome and professional I am.
Because, no mater HOW much this will kill me (and, friends, it will kill me), in the end, you will think, not only, that I know what in the fuck I'm talking about, but that I'm totally engrossed and entertained by it.

In conclusion.
Fuck.
I'm fucked.

Target Aquired...Me. Target Acquired Me To Do Some Radio Commercials.

WHAT AREN'T YOU GETTING?
GAWD!
But, yes, I am excited to say I'm not just making this up and even more excited to inform you that one of the scripts I'll be recording is about bacon.
Bacon: The Food of Joy.
And it is delightfully, sexily over the top, a state in which I reside, at all times, hence my oft overused hyperbole.
Is there a regular, non-hyper bole?
I'm going to check...

Hm.
According to dictionary.com it's the stem or trunk of a tree.
Hm.

Well, that makes absolutely no fucking sense...
Assholes.

Anyway, yeah, one's about bacon, and one is about popcorn chicken and the third is about tomatoes...but I haven't read that one yet.
I'll do that now!!!

Okay, the tomato one is pretty funny too.
And ALL THIS came from my superhot home studio set up.
WOO!
That's on Wednesday, and, tomorrow, I have an audition for audible.com which sounds kind of bland, but, perhaps I can bring some sizzle.
Because that...is what I do...bring sizzle.
Would you like some sizzle?
:::call me:::

In other news, Hurricane Sandy did nothing to affect me.
Nothing.
It's getting to the point where I am starting to feel guilty about telling people this because so many have been totally fucked by this thing.
But, yeah, nothing.
We had some rain.
And my pizza place wasn't delivering.

Skipping the rest of that; the Halloween party was a success, even though about a quarter to a third of the people there were either friends of friends or friends of friends of friends.
All good people all having good fun.

Special shout out to Fitzy for opening and then pretty much closing the festivities despite knowing a total of two people at the whole thing.
And also for letting me call her "Fitzy".
Say it alud, it's awesome!*
FITZYYY!!!!
Love it.

Jen and I are still carving our way through the zombie (and J'Avo) hoards in Resident Evil 6. We're two final chapters (Leon/Helena's and Jake/Sherry's) away from the "end"**. All in all, I think hearing all that negative shit about the game before I played it helped me to get over it, that, and the fact that a lot of it was just whining about nothing. I will say that split screen is balls for someone with eye problems and the plethora of insta-kill moments get real old, real quick, but, other than those shitty patches, the game has been great, and the complaint that they "tried to put too much into this game" is fucking stupid.
VIDEOS GAMES SHOULD BE A LONG TERM INVESTMENT AS FAR AS ENTERTAINMENT GOES.
That's like complaining about having TOO MANY ORGASMS during intercourse.
Idiots.
So, hopefully, in the near future, Jen and I will wrap this up and find out what in the blue fuck is going on.

But not next Sunday...because I'm seeing the new Bond movie.
And, the day before THAT, I'll be five feet from my apartment, seeing Eugene Mirman and some comics who aren't Eugene Mirman at P.S. 1.

Feeling rambly.
Would like to go home now.

I should have Resident Evil: Damnation waiting for me.
If it is anything like Resident Evil: Regeneration...well, it's going to be unworthy of comment.
Then, once that is out of my house, I shall start getting Community, as everyone in the world has seen it and loves it and shut up I'm going to fucking watch it.

Chris and I recently watched Young Adult, which was...all right, I suppose. Both Charles Thorn and Patton Oswalt did a great job with what they were given, but they weren't given a whole bunch.
The plot focuses around a chick who had a thing with a dude in high school, but as soon as she sees that he's had a kid and is happy with his wife she goes back and tries to "free" him from the relationship.
Has this actually happened to people?
Who would do that?
Then again, who would do space docking?
Enough people that it has a name, so, moving on.

The ignorant wangbanger that has STILL remained here at the Hospital like a tiny clot of feces stuck in one's ass hair is always talking about martial arts.
All the time.
Like he is a master of the arts or something.
He's a fubsy, 50-something, bald Latino guy.
I'd like to hire a ninja to come and kick his ass so I can hear him talk about how exquisite his style was when he inevitably calls his moron, subhuman friend to talk about it.
Ugh.
These guys are so ratty. The way they talk and relate to the world and their voices and the stuff they talk about...just...ugh.
Dog farts.
Those guys are dog farts.
And the one dude's voice sounds like a Yoda made of scabs.
Like, imagine if Yoda was slightly retarded and had a thicker, rougher voice.
This assbag sounds like that.
And every thirty seconds he snorts snot back up his nose rather than blowing it like a human.
Ugh.
The fact that I haven't burned these bastards to death speaks volumes about just how tolerant and loving I am.
But that fact that I think and talk about doing so so often probably does not.

Oh! That's something the fucking hurricane did! I was going to hang with Phil and get him on my fucking podcast b ut shit got so fucked up that it never happened.
Fuckballs.
What a bitch.
Sandy, not Phil.
Phil is eyes deep in editing hell and it's all his fault. Three books in three months...what kind of psycho enters into that Devil's Pact?!
LUDICROUS!!!
MAD LUDICROUSNESS!!!

All right.
It's 10:45.
Fuck off.









*But you MUST say it like a jocular uncle opening his arms to hug a well-loved nephew he hasn't seen for years.

**The fourth and final campaign...Ada Wong's.

End of the Month Music Bitchfest - October 2012

Eels

POSTED ON THE OFFICIAL EELS WEB SITE:

10/19/12: Hi.

HE'S NOT DEAD!!!!!
WOOOOOOO!!!!!

And, if that wasn't exciting enough (which it TOTALLY was), on October 22nd, a BRAND NEW EELS ALBUM WAS ANNOUNCED!!!!
It's called Wonderful, Glorious* and is slated for release on February 5th, 2013.
Here is a link to the full album write-up from the official web site.

Below is the cover art and track list.

01  bombs away
02  kinda fuzzy
03  accident prone
04  peach blossom
05  on the ropes
06  the turnaround
07  new alphabet
08  stick together
09  true original
10  open my present
11  you're my friend
12  i am building a shrine
13  wonderful, glorious

I am...SO unutterably happy a.) that E is not dead and b.) that, after his first contact with the outside world in OVER A YEAR, three days later, he drops a track list, cover art and a release date. Boom. THAT, my friends, is how it's fucking done. None of this cryptic, blurry image, "I'm very excited to be working on something I can't tell you about ever and you won't hear for a decade and which might not even be real but would be really cool if it was but anyway it's due out in 2022 for sure maybe unless I have two fucking kids" bullshit.
Fucking boom.
I'll see you in February, E.
I look forward to two singles and a music video before then.
PRAISE JESUS! E IS NOT DEAD!!!!

Aaaaand, speaking of the aforementioned cryptic, blurry, etc. etc. bullshit...


Nine Inch Nails

Something. Is actually. Finally. Happening.
And I'm going to mercilessly criticize it and tear it down because it isn't exactly what I want, when I want it.
Let's do this.

First off, some Trenty Reznory business.

On October 16th, Trent posted the following on his Facebook page:

Some of you may have read that I have begun working with Beats By Dre. For the past year I have indeed been involved with Dre, Jimmy Iovine, Luke Wood, and the rest of the team on a number of very interesting projects that will start to emerge next year. I have been wanting to experiment and focus my energy and creativity in some different directions, and Beats has afforded me that very opportunity. The process has been challenging and fascinating and as much as I'd like to tell you about the things we've dreamed up... I just can't. 

Not yet...

(I can tell you it's probably not what you're expecting!)

Great.
Another nebulous, potentially non-existent thing to look forward to and then ask about in twelve years only to have Reznor smile knowingly and say "soon" to. WHY are you teasing things THIS FAR OUT?! If you have no details to share, fucking keep your god damn mouth shut!! Remember that Year Zero HBO mini-series he was working on? Since 2007? No? THAT'S BECAUSE IT DOESN'T EXIST ANYMORE.

We'll all be long dead before any Nine Inch Nails/Dre collabo drops.
Truth.


And now, here's a little fuckrant I've entitled: How to destroy expectations_ "A fuckrant_"

On October 8th, Zane Lowe's ridiculous show over on BBC 1 debuted a brand new How to destroy angels_** track from their upcoming EP, "An omen EP_"***, entitled, "Keep it together".
While I enjoy the textures and the juxtaposition between the thudding, sludgy bass swamp and Mariqueen's glassy, almost birdlike voice, it reminds me of both "BBB" and "The Believers", and I wish it had kept evolving rather than just repeating the middle of itself.
And that's all I'm saying about the song.****
You can watch what might be the most exciting music video ever for "Keep it together" here.*****
Reznor also had a little phone chat with Lowe, during which Zane practically begging Reznor to reveal anything, which he did not.
But...what could he possibly reveal that we can't intuit from his signing with Columbia?
Now that he is back on a major label, a whole lot of mystery has been removed from HTDA.
When you are independent, you can release a song, video or entire album with, literally, no notice whatsoever.
You update your site with a link, then post on Twitter that "fans should probably head over to whatever.com for a surprise", and I fucking LOVE that freedom. I LOVE being surprised by stuff like that and Reznor LOVES doing it.
But, now he's back on a label...
The biggest downsides I can see that come with signing to a major label, from a fan's perspective, are the time between "this album is done" and "here is the album" and also the rigidity of the release schedule. The release schedule for the new HTDA album, coming in "early 2013", was probably written down and signed  and approved by dozens of people not even tangentially associated with the creation of the band or the music, months ago.
The release cycle officially began a few weeks ago with the announcement of the EP and the official website update.
From this point on, everything is on rails and has a date next to it.

Image #4 (wires and soundboard w/microphone):
to be posted no later than 00:00:00 EST 10/11/12

           Dave Sitek remix of "Keep it together":
    to be posted no later than 15:19:00 EST 10/18/12

    In-studio video clip #2 feat. sound loop B    (w/Mariqueen's fingernails):
    to be posted no later than 00:00:00 EST 11/02/12

Etc.
And, you remember back in July when Reznor said "we are doing a different type of distribution this time so it's taking a bit longer to coordinate stuff"?
Well.
Get ready to have your brains exploded from the backs of your heads.
The day after its debut on BBC 1 and their official website and Pitchfork and YouTube and everything else...one could purchase this song in a format called "mp3" from an Internet store front called Amazon.com...
I'll give you a second to recover, catch your breath and all that.
That's right, Trent Reznor/Nine Inch Nails/How to destroy angels_/ultra-innovative, bleeding edge music distribution technology fans! The future is...when was Amazon.com founded? 1997? 1995?
The future is 1995!!!!
*sigh*
As I said before: you aren't going to reinvent the wheel of music distribution here, so just get the music to the people that want to hear it.
As much as I enjoy HTDA and NIN and Reznor and all that, I do grasp that this is NOT for everybody. Honestly, who saw one of those clips with the big fuzzy guitar noise or the menacing buzzy thing or the disinterested looking dude playing bass and was like, "this, THIS is what I've been waiting for!!!"?
And, even if they did, they saw it, did some searching on the Internet and then discovered that this cool sound loop is indicative of something not coming out for over a year!
I don't know...Reznor just seems to be fighting himself when it comes to all this release date calenderization.
It's a shitty place for an artist: either you're indie and get all the freedom in the world, including the freedom to have no one hear your music EVER or you lock in with a huge, dying, cash-hemorrhaging record label staffed with people that see you as ink on a spreadsheet but who will get you interviews with the hottest new MTV VJ there is...and you STILL might end up not having anyone listen to your shit!
This is why I only make/release really bad stuff, because, that way, I'll never have to worry about any of this bullshit.

Anyway.
The new How to destroy angels_ EP, "An omen EP_"****** is set for release no later than 00:00:00 11/13/12.
Make sure to check it out, or they won't shift any units and the grandad robots will powder their eggs into chicken baskets what?


Beck

Beck did a remix (although this is so much more than a remix) of Philip Glass' "NYC: 73-78" which "includes snippets from more than 20 Glass songs, which (he) cut together and re-imagined". It's over 20 minutes long and it's one of the reasons I still haven't written this space case motherfucker off. You can check it out here. It's pretty amazing.

And, he announced recently that artists "known and unknown" would be recording the twenty songs off his new "album", Song Reader.
Not him though.
Never him.


They Might Be Giants

Nothing on the music front (unless you count the fact that I got the two superspecialexclusive IFC vinyls converted to .wavs...and I do. With their next vinyl mailing thrown in alongside the 2011 and other 2012 musical offerings, there's actually going to be about an albums worth of completely original TMBG music for those in the IFC. Worth. The money.), but there has been some movement on the Pizza Front.
Which is a thing.
I just made up.
So, do any of you recall that I shot, directed and starred in a They Might Be Giants video for their song "Can't Keep Johnny Down"?
Of course you don't. Neither did fucking John Hodgman.
Hang on.
*breath*
Okay, so They Might Be Giants put up a contest to make your own video for their new single. The grand prize winner would receive a thousand dollars and a pizza from John Hodgman, as he was to be the sole judge of said contest. Long story short, I was chosen by Hodgman as one of the runners up ("Best Use of Polaroids") and I was to receive a free t-shirt from TMBG and a free pizza from John Hodgman. The contest ended in July of 2011. I have yet to receive my pizza. I've tweeted Hodgman and he told me to e-mail him. I emailed him and he never responded. I e-mailed him again, and he continued to not respond. Jump forward to about a week ago.
I figure, since they thought up the contest and, as a member of the IFC, I have direct access to them, that I should take the matter upstairs, as it were.
So, I explained the situation to Flans and asked if he could do anything.
Guys, I didn't expect anything.
Flans asks me the address of the pizza place and what day I want the pizza.
I told him around 8 pm on Saturday night..
And it did not happen.
I blame both Hodgman and Hurricane Sandy.
But the hurricane is over, Hodgman, and I want my fucking pizza.



In more Trent Reznor related news*******, he, Atticus Ross and Alessandro Cortini remixed a track by Ladytron wannabes, Telepathe, as a favor to Dave Sitek (of TV On The Radio) who is starting his own label, Federal Prism.
I feel bad for Telepathe because everyone is going to check out the TR/AR/AC remix of "Destroyer", then check out their album (coming early next year) and then ignore the album and go back to the remix, wishing all the while that Reznor had produced it.
SO bittersweet...
The Sitek remix (which might serve as the album version, I'm not sure) is pretty good, but Reznor and friends' mix is outstanding, starting off kind of annoying with metallic blips backing up the bland vocals, and then evolving into something that Telepathe will never be on their own.
Anyone who has heard and enjoyed the Girl With The Dragon Tattoo score will dig this version a lot.
I'll keep an ear out for their upcoming stuff but don't be surprised if I never refer to these girls again.
Sorry.
Also, you misspelled "telepath".
Or "telepathy".

Marilyn Manson has a new video out for "Hey, Cruel World" that is sort of an ad for his tour I suppose?
It's a lot of live footage and close ups of him sticking his fingers in his mouth which, hopefully, he washed before this shoot because I honestly can't think of anything dirtier than Marilyn Manson's hands. Nothing really interesting going on, but there are some cool masks.

Next, the brand new tweaker album, Call The Time Eternity, came out on the 23rd.
You can read the review of this disappointing release here.

And, finally, thanks to Christina, I have been listening to Maximum Balloon, an collaboration between TV On The Radio's Dave Sitek and a bunch of folks, including Little Dragon and the rest of TVOTR. There is a lot of really great stuff on there, like "Tiger", which has the energy and boogie of a Prince song, "The Lesson" which is melodic, dark and hot, and "Apartment Wrestling", which must have been recorded during/right before the Love This Giant sessions, because it's SO David Byrne from Love This Giant that...aw man it's awesome. It came out in 2010 and somehow we missed it until just now, but we're happy to have it in our ears.

And, totally finally for real, I picked up the Philip Glass remix album (Rework) where that cool Beck thing is from, just today, October 31st, so I may or may not have something to say about that next month.
I don't really know much about Glass except for the fact that he likes notes to go up and down fast and frequently, so this could be an enlightening and confusing experience for me.
And.
That's it.





* Which has to be good because naming it as such opens it up for a lot of mockery if it isn't.

** Again, that's "How to destroy angels_", not "How To Destroy Angels". Because capitalizing all the letters at the beginning of each of the words in your band name and not have underscores is decidedly UN-indie. Make a note, assholes.

*** Ugh, fucking get over yourselves.


**** I can feel both your surprise and relief. You're welcome.

***** Slightly more exciting music video here.

****** Already done with this weird spelling/typeface bullshit...

******* One song and one remix?! This is a motherfucking avalanche of Trent Reznor!!!!

Me and S. Pellegrino: We Cool/The World Premiere of Unker & Physia

So.
Some weeks ago, I was told I had an audition. The day before the audition, I received an e-mail stating the client had cancelled the audition. The morning of the audition, I was told it was back on and was asked if I could get there within the hour. Since I was already in the neighborhood and since I really like the production place and the people at the production place where it was being held (Hobo audio), I went. I thought it went well, the folks at Hobo thought it went well, I left feeling pretty okay and then thought nothing of it.

A few days later, I was put on hold for the recording, which was to take place two days later. Two days later, I was put on hold for the following two days. And two days after that, I was put on hold for two days the next week. And then, at the start of that next week, I was informed that the project was not going to happen.

Three weeks later, I was informed that I had booked said gig for yesterday, Wednesday, and then, minutes later, that the booking had been moved from Wednesday to today, from 10 am to 2 pm.

During all this, I had not asked what the rate was, mainly because if I didn't book it and it was a lot of money, I'd be bummed.
Or course, on the other side of that, there was a chance I would book it, and it would be paltry.
After my manager confirms and reconfirms with me that we are, in fact, 1000%, recording today, I ask what the rate is.
Paltry.
For me.
After bitching at Chris about not being given enough money to talk*, she suggests I call my manager and see if I can get more money.
Hm.
That is what managers do in the movies...
So I call him and say, look, they have me booked from 10 am to 2 pm and, when you break down the fee to an hourly rate, it's almost insulting AND they've been jerking us off for about three weeks, changing the hold, cancelling the project, rescheduling the hold etc.
He says that he agrees with me and that he'll see what he can do.
This morning, I wake at 9:20 and get ready to head out to Hobo. I check my e-mail and find that my manager has gotten the clients to almost double my fee.
Hot.

I arrive at Hobo and jump in the booth. The engineer does some magic, and suddenly I can hear three or four random voices speaking Italian in my headphones like a river full of sunlight.
Italian is such a beautiful language...
They tell me this version of the script, the English version, is all about trying to describe what it's like to be an Italian (the good parts). They play the Italian spot and it's fabulous, this guy sounds amazing, so passionate, so sexy, yow.
I tell them that English will never be able to express what that guy had just said as beautifully as him, but that I would do my best.
Eventually, we record; I turn on the hot buttered sex voice that they NEED to get their Vespas going and, after six takes, we're done.
One of them said, "motto bene" and I nearly squeaked.
They said, "Grazie!", I said "Grazie!"
They said, "Ciao!", I said, "Ciao!"
It was...motto bene.

Then, as I was scheduled to come back to Hobo at 1:40 for an audition, I asked if I could do it now, if it wasn't a problem (it was not yet 11 am).
It wasn't a problem and I was led into a different studio where the head of Hobo and all-around awesome guy, Howard, gave me the breakdown and ran the session.
Afterwards we talked a bit, specifically about if he knew the hobo-centric works of John "Pizza Miser" Hodgman. He said yes and that he had, in fact, contacted Hodgman about maybe doing a promo or something for Hobo audio, and that Hodgman never got back to him. I told him about my pizza dilemma and he suggested I make a YouTube video a la "United Breaks Guitars" and get that goddamned pizza.
And I just may.

Anyway, all this to say that today, while long, was pretty great and that San Pellegrino and I are cool once again.
It's alllll bene.

Tomorrow is yet another early and long day, during which I will be shooting the final episode of the first "season" of Unker & Physia. Thank Jebus we're shooting just down the street from my house...I might have time to shower before work...
This has been quite a roller coaster ride, but, last night's screening went very well, a full house full of people happy to be there and happy to see Jess and I being wonderful.
Afterwards, we went to a nearby drinking place where I had a subpar burger and some amazing conversation with Dave Ratura, Rachel Goulet, Gia (and her uncircumcised friend, Alex) and Fitzy. Dave and I need to create something...something...horrible...
He promised me that he'll watch Human Centipede 2 and then call me.
Big, huge, mad props to Chris who had to sit between Dave and I as we talked about the more gruesome details of Human Centipede 1. I can only be thankful that had yet to see the second film.

It was a really fantastic night and I'm so happy people were able to make it out and share in this thing we've been creating over the past months.
There is a lot more to come, so keep your eyes and ears open.









* I know, I know, "Go fuck yourself."

A review of tweaker's "Call The Time Eternity"

Angry.
And sad.
Angry and sad.
Not how the latest (but not last, according to a recent post from tweaker's Twitter account) tweaker album sounds, but rather how I feel with regards to the latest tweaker album, Call The Time Eternity.
Angry, because it's been eight years since the dark, beautiful and almost perfect 2 a.m. Wakeup Call was released, which utterly blew away tweaker's strong yet unfocused debut album, The Attraction To All Things Uncertain.
Eight years that saw Chris Vrenna chained to the stinking, sinking poop ship that was Marilyn Manson.
Eight years waiting for this album.
And sad because I really, really, really wanted this to be an amazing piece of art; the continued evolution of tweaker, the next step, sonically, thematically, musically, lyrically...but it is absolutely nothing of the sort.

Ponygrinder
The fact that "Ponygrinder" is a strong opener makes the rapid decline and collapse of the rest of the album even more bitter. Although, it isn't even that strong. It sounds like the background for an awesome Nine Inch Nails remix...from the late 90's. I do really love the "there are no more destinations" sample and there are some really cool sounds in this, but they get reused again and again without anything significant added to the mix so that by the time it's done, I was almost relieved. Not a great feeling to have at the start of an album...

Nothing At All
But, the end of the first track inevitably brings about the beginning of the second track. I'm not going to take the snarky, easy joke about how there was "nothing at all" I liked in this track, because that would be a lie. I love the sound of it and the sounds in it, I love the call back to "Happy Child" from the first album, I love thinking that maybe this woman is the object of obsession that Will Oldham was singing about in that song, but all this is completely undone by Jessicka Addams horrible talksinging. Talksinging, in general, is awful, but her overly affected "little tough girl" voice is so insanely annoying that I was, honest to God, having trouble finishing the song. The only problem with this song is its vocals (and the "isn't it cool how I made these drums sound superloud" effect). If this had been an instrumental, true, the call back would have been less direct and effective, but it would certainly be less obnoxious. And, just to be clear, I'm not saying I don't like the way Jessicka Addams sings, I listen to a lot of bands with annoying lead vocalists; I'm just saying I wish she weren't singing on this.

A Bit Longer Than Usual
Aside from the bridge and a few of the ingredients tossed into this sonic scrapple, this sounds like something you'd assemble with the basic loop pack that comes with Acid. It sounds like a demo song: something soulless and uninteresting used to advertise music editing software. And this crushes me.

Areas Of The Brain
"Brains" starts off great (there I go, getting my hopes up again) but takes a shockingly sad and disappointing turn as soon as the vocals kick in. WHY ARE THE VOCALS ON THIS ALBUM SO SHODDY?! THE FIRST TWO WERE PERFECT FITS!!! Sorry. Anyway. The laughing is not scary. It's not creepy. It's not unnerving. It sounds forced and ridiculous. Once again: TALKSINGING IS NOT GOOD. EVER. NO. Even when you're trying to sound like Maynard James Keenan.

Hoarding Granules
"Hoarding Granules" is really and truly an interesting track. It's made up of what sounds like aural found footage and has a great mood. At times the samples or vocals or whatever you want to cal them  feel a bit overwrought, they still kind of work. Great sound on this.

Getting Through Many A Bad Night
This has a good beat, very engaging. It reminds me why Chris Vrenna got his start programming and drumming and remixing for Nine Inch Nails. Though I do not love the samples. This is almost a good track, but it feels like it's missing something...something intangible...is it vocals or more instrumentation or...but, before I can think of what, it ends. Hm. Fine. Never mind.

Grounded
Finally...FINALLY: A track on which the vocals WORK. More than that, they're perfect; they reflect so exactly just how damaged the track feels and how the album should feel but does not. kaRIN sounds a bit like Claudia Sarne from 12 Rounds but less abrasive. Great ending with that glitchy guitar and beat.

This Is Ridiculous
This one, which reminds me of something by Cut Chemist, might be my favorite track on here. Well done, Mr. Vrenna. Bouncy, high energy and then things get weird and it sounds like Aphex Twin covering "Microsized Boy" from Attraction. Then the fun comes back with some great stuff floating in the background. Ends too abruptly, I could have enjoyed it more...

I Don't Care Anymore
Look, I know this is a cover so I don't know if I should blame Phil Collins for making it or Chris Vrenna for remaking it...wait, yes I do. I blame Vrenna as this is his album. I think my biggest problem is Jesse Hall's voice. Same problem with "Movement of Fear", the worst track from their previous album. This was a weird choice that didn't really work for me.

Wasted Time
Great bass on this. Upright and...not...upright. Nice beat. The deep rumbles offer a nice juxtaposition to the bleeps. The typewriter is a nice addition for long time tweaker fans and, I'll be honest, made me smile. Very nice. This makes me wonder if maybe Vrenna should have had more organic instruments on CTTE... Maybe on some of those remixes he keeps talking about...? The talking here is a little better although I'm not sure how I like the album's vaguely ethereal, vaguely sinister title just being thrown out there, sans context. I'd have liked it to have been part of a longer passage. This, too, ends sooner than it should.

Fine
Nice creepy siren here and great bass once again, but then...guess what comes along and ruins it? If you guessed talksinging, well, you get a donut...no, you get my copy of Call The Time Eternity. Aside from the rambling, shouting, blathering voices, this track also feels threadbare. Almost like Vrenna forgot to unmute a track or two before rendering it... Solid drums though*.  Oh, and just tossing in the sound from the end of the first album does not a reference make, what it does make is a huge fan who's waited almost a decade and who was really looking forward to an amazing follow up to your last album angry and sad.

Which brings this sad, angry train to its sad, angry halt. I'm so bummed. So, so bummed. The album isn't awful. There is some new and interesting ground being broken here and some truly great, stand out tracks, two or three anyway ("Grounded" and "This Is Ridiculous" are really all that jump to mind)...but nothing comes close to 2 a.m. Wakeup Call. This is an unworthy follow up to that opus; a themeless, unfocused collection of songs which, for the most part, have awful vocalists and seem to be missing key elements. Plus, "Nothing At All" is a direct reference to the first album, which creates a nice sense of continuity and cohesiveness, but, aside from that one track and that lazy "reference" at the end of "Fine", there's nothing else. It just feels...unfinished, I suppose. Unfinished and muddled, and not in an intentional way.
This feels like a step back to the themelessness of the first album, but without the novel and inventive sounds to alliviate that lack of focus.
What else can I say?
Angry and sad.

Note: Today, October 23rd, is the release date of the new tweaker album, and yet, Amazon.com isn't going to ship the album until November 6th-12th. Because of a "database error", according to Metropolis Records. So, that makes things better. Also, Vrenna stated earlier today that the album's theme is "manicness". Ah, of course, "manicness". So that's why it sounds so unfocused. Nice try, Chris.







* Although I really shouldn't have to keep pointing that out...side projects created by drummers SHOULD, at its lowest points, have solid drums, and, at its highest points, blistering, astonishing, facemelting drums.**

** Or no drums. Just to freak people out and get away from the "drummer" branding.