Watch Dogs 2 + Resident Evil 7 = Resident Dogs 9

SPOILERS FOR WATCH DOGS 2 AND RESIDENT EVIL 7!!!

I didn't play a lot of video games over the past year and half. After Arkham Knight came out, that was kind of it for me. I was looking forward to stuff and I bought stuff, but for some reason, I looked at these games (Fallout 4, Uncharted 4, Rise of the Tomb Raider, The Witcher 3, etc.) and said, these are going to take way too long so I'll play them some other time. After I beat the shit out of AK (cough 240% completion cough), I had "nothing". So, I picked up some of these procedural indie games I'd kept hearing about; games like Spelunky, Rogue Legacy, Enter the Gungeon, and, lastly, The Binding of Isaac.

With those first three, I played a lot, but got to a point in each where I just wasn't good enough to proceed, but, with Isaac, I dug my heels in. Over the course of six or so months, I put...so much fucking time...into that game. I just recently stopped playing it (but will pick it back up as soon as Afterbirth plus comes out for PS4) and picked up Watch Dogs 2, which I finished in a few weeks.

Overall, it's kind of like all the reviews said: it was more fun than its predecessor, mainly because the protagonist wasn't talking like Nolan's Batman the whole time, and because of the Jumper and drone as hack tools. I got pretty sick of trying to hop from camera to camera in the first game, only to find out I'd fucked up somewhere along the way and had to restart. Anyway, I found myself not really giving a shit at some point and just rushed through to wrap everything up. The ending was a let down, but then again, I can't think of one open world game that doesn't have a non-climax.* I tried to play the game as stealthy as possible (I only purchased three weapons the whole time; the silenced pistol, silenced assault rifle, and the sniper rifle, but as all the enemies were telepathic, that seldom worked. Honestly, I don't have anything really negative or positive to say about it (maybe because I don't live in San Francisco?). There were some fun moments and some boring, grindy moments. One thing that stood out was the clothing. This is kind of weird, but since the game made such a concerted effort to give Marcus literally thousands of outfit combinations, I found it bizarre that, literally, not one other main character wore more than one outfit the whole game. Pretty odd choice...

All that said, I'd play a third one if were set in New York with the same amount of (apparent) detail that went into San Fran. I'm a sucker for that, hence why I purchased and played through True Crime: New York.
While I was wrapping up WD2, Resident Evil 7: Biohazard came out. Now, this was something I was actively looking forward to, even though I was pensive about the switch to first person.** I'd played all versions of the demo and even gotten the "good" ending.*** As much as people hated RE6, I enjoyed a lot of it and thought they did an incredibly brave thing by having a game with three intermingling campaigns, even if two of them were less "survival horror" and more "machine gun murder factory". But, anyway.
I sat down with RE7 and played through it over the course of three or four sessions, clocking in at about 20 hours on my first playthrough. I noted that there were trophies and rewards***** for beating it in under four hours, a feat which I thought was reserved for only the most Japanese of speedrunners******...until I watched a dude (a Canadian!!!!) beat the game in about 90 minutes. With the Canuck as my guide, I managed to sneak out in just over three and a half hours. I'm sure I've mentioned this before but: even though I've been a gamer since I was 6, I am not very good at video games.
I've really enjoyed this game. The smaller scale and return to a focus on dread and resource management feels like a fantastic return to the good old days of the fist three RE games. And all the little nods are just delightful...that fucking Crank...
Plus! So many questions...why the fuck is Chris Redfield working for Umbrella now? Who made Eveline and why? Who was Ethan on the phone with at the beginning of the game? Where the fuck did that little shit Lucas go? When did that little moment with Jack, Zoe, and Ethan fit into the story and why did Ethan not remember it until just then and how come it seemed to have no impact on Ethan, the Bakers, or the game itself?
As of the end of last week, I have platinumed the game, beating it on Madhouse, beating it in under four hours, beating without healing more than three times, and without opening the goddamn item box more than the three times the game forces one to. Four playthroughs and I have owned this game utterly. I don't do that often...
I'm curious about the next iteration of Resident Evil. I'm not sure I want to wait four and a half years for the next one, seeing as this one was a much smaller affair and can beat beaten in 90 minutes. And, when it does come out, are they going to stick with the sludgy dread of RE7 or are they going to try and make an FPS with zombies...which they already did...with lackluster results...?
Anyway, now that I've finished RE7 (and moved on to the second DLC) and I don't think I'll be able to convince my wife to play it, thinking of getting into either the new Tomb Raider or maybe Final Fantasy XV, which will be my very first FF game. Aside from chocobos, anything else I need to know?   

* Except for Red Dead Redemption, I believe that might be my favorite ending of any video game I've ever played.

** Not a big first person guy. And first person in a horror game feels a bit cheaty, like movies that pelt you with jump scares. Jump scares aren't clever, they're overused.

*** DIRTY COIN, MOTHERFUCKAAAAAAA!!!!****

**** TOTAL LETDOWN, MOTHERFUCKAAAAAAA!!!!

***** Oh Christ do I love those post-game unlocks...

****** KNIFE ONLY NO DEATH TOFU RUN, MOTHER FUCKAAAAAAA!!!!!!

Some thoughts on "The Evil Within" (on PS4)

SPOILERS AHEAD!

Some thoughts on The Evil Within, which I played and completed in about 25 hours on the normal setting on PS4.

Wonder what it would have been if it we're just next gen. Feel like I'm going to be saying and thinking that a lot over the next few...half a decade.

This looked like a really nice PS3 game, but I've seen better on a PS3, so, you guys need to up your lazy ass game.

Overall, this was a nice blend of Resident Evil (resource management, mood, settings...in fact, sometimes the settings were so Resident Evil (specifically RE 4) that I had to wonder what new stuff Shinji Mikami has up his sleeve) and Silent Hill (the lack of explanation, the uncertainty, the vaguely mystic storyline). Anything original? Erm...

I like some of the Lovecraft feel. The catacombs were absolutely fantastic. Bosses varied. 

The first appearance of Laura was utterly horrifying and I really wish they hadn't had it in the fucking trailer, because that would have been an excellent pants-shitting moment for me. Her one-hit-kill thing got old quick though. 

As for the Keeper...ugh... We need to just accept that nothing will ever be as awesome as Pyramid Head and move on from putting different geometric shapes on top of bad guys' shoulders in order to make them look intimidating.

I'll stop there.

Established early that nothing is real. Kind of like that, although it seems like they built on an easy out if they need one.

The protagonist is milk. Gritty milk, but, still, milk. 

Good atmosphere, very good at times, and kudos for not relying on jump scares.

Glad they didn't have the old run-around-shooting-at-the-huge-bad-guy fight at end. Enjoyed the last fight.

The explanations for what the enemies were were good and bad, the descriptions (that you'll only see if you go through every entry in the Model Viewer) were at times a bit of a stretch. I have a feeling the sketches came first, then the back story.

Glad there were no helpless, busty women to save/oogle. Even after finishing the game, no ridiculous costumes to be found. Way to make a stand, Shinji. 

Could have done with a bit more exposition at the end.

Looking forward to the DLC, the Kidman stuff, anyway. Really hope we get a clearer picture of who Mobius are and what the fuck was going on.

Had a lot of fun with Evil Within and glad to have another horror franchise to look forward to along with whatever Resident Evil and SIlent Hill have coming next.

A review of "Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes" on the PS4

First things first: yes, it's incredibly short, but I'm one to take my time, so I'm all right with that.

There's nothing bad about it, it's a perfect evolution of the series and if The Phantom Pain is going to function like a next gen Peace Walker (with a huge amount of small, modular missions), then I'm more than happy, as long as there aren't any of those goddamn filler missions, like taking down the chopper, okay, now take down the GREEN chopper, okay, now, take down the GREEN chopper with brown spots).
I don't think I've spent more time on anything more frustrating in recent memory.

However, I loved hunting for the different POWs and building and expanding Mother Base.

I still think Snake Eater is probably the best game in the series and Peace Walker goes right up there with it, it's basically Snake Eater 2. So, another continuation is fine with me...if this is the last. Things are getting a bit crowded. I mean, I know that Big Boss is supposed to be a legendary mercenary and that we need to establish this legend...but they're running out of years in which to do it.

Back to GZ; the issue for me isn't the length of Ground Zeroes, but, rather, the length of time between it and Phantom Pain. Kojima has promised the game will be out "before the end of 2015".
Yes, there were tears.

As of right now, I've played the main mission four times, once taking my time and clocking in at around 100 minutes, the second, going for all the XOF patches and cassette tapes, the third, a speedthrough, clocking in at just under half an hour (and scoring an "S" rank!) and the fourth time just to rescue the escaped POW in order to get Chico's 4th tape.
I also did the two bonus missions "Deja Vu" and "Jamais Vu" a few times because they were so goddamn fun. Anyone complaining about there not being enough stuff here hasn't been trying hard enough. The Foxdie freak out in the prison cell? The MGS quiz? The weird, little logo erasing challenge? It's a compact and delicious slice of pure MGS.

The other four missions start to feel a bit redundant, try as they might to mix things up. I mean, they're not awful, I love that Kojima's put himself in the game again, but, yeah, it does feel stretched thin.
By the time I out it down, I had "S" ranked all the normal missions and completed all the hard ones. I am only missing one trophy, which I'm not going to bother with. After finishing GZ, I picked up Peace Walker again. When I put that down, I had cleared all the missions with B's and A's not to mention a handful of S's, so I have the stealth camo and bandana...which means I am now God.
Let's see how long that fucking Chrysalis lasts against Invisible Snake with infinite rockets.
You fuck.

A review of "Watch Dogs" for the PS4

Finished Watch Dogs for the PS4.

Here's some thoughts.

The game designers must have been overjoyed when the whole NSA thing happened while they were making this game.

As a voice actor, I allowed to say this: dude doing Aiden Pierce is fucking horrible. I want him to just clear his throat and take a little sip of water EVERY TIME HE OPENS HIS DULL, FUCKING MOUTH. 

I am impressed with how he managed to sound both nasally and gravely at the same time. Must have been harder than Tuvan throat singing.

Facial animation and hair looks like top-of-the-line PS2 graphics.

Then there's Lisbeth Salander. Who is in the game. Because Ubisoft thought no one would notice?

Also, B-Real (from Cypress Hill) is in the game. With dreadlocks.

Driving: what is worse, drinving on a road made of ice in a car made o glassor vice versa? Whichever is worse is what it's like to drive in this game. In an open world game where you need to drive, make the driving good.

Regarding the soundtrack: why haven't we seen a GTA or Saints Row or Watchdogs where the player can use music from their hard drive as a custom radio station?

It's 2014.

I remember some games on fucking PSOne where you could take the game disc out and have your own CD playing instead of the game's soundtrack. How has this technology devolved?

The moment when "C.R.E.A.M." by Wu Tang starts playing though...I don't think I ever realized how much old school Wu mitigates things.

After getting past how it looks and diving head first into the side stuff, I had fun.

This game could have originally been the future Assassins' Creed we're never going to get. 

Like so much. 

The ctOS towers are the viewpoints, the maps are both just as choked with stuff, the pointless and interchangeable clothes, the different types of weapons, the number of times I tried to take someone down silently and ended up standing on the box I was hiding behind because THE FUCKING BUTTON FOR TAKING SOMEONE DOWN SILENTLY AND CLIMBING UP ON A BOX IS THE SAME FUCKING BUTTON.

I really liked the Gang Hideouts.  Since I'm bad at games, I enjoy being able to pure stealth. The camera puzzles are also a great touch

Jordi is fun. Should have been more Jordi.

Lucky Quinn's teeth are their own character.

The digital trips. You can feel the time and love put into them. If Ubisoft were more bastardy than they already are, I could see them releasing these as some separate thing.

While I don't know/love/enjoy at all a lot of the music, I love the way you obtain it, love it.

At one point, hours in, there was still a lot of stuff to do. Was it all fun or worth it? Meh. 

There's more I could say, but the overall feeling is as follows: some of the interactions and mechanics, the stealth and camera systems were great, a lot of fun, but most everything else was not.

And, while the credits did an admirable* job of planting at least a dozen seeds for the inevitable flood of yearly sequels, I want nothing to do with any of them.

I can't think of a more forgettable game.

Wu Tang can only ameliorate so much.

* Read "desperate".

Just finished "Infamous: Second Son"...

...both Evil and Good paths (in that order).

Here's some hot, sweaty reactions.


Three games in, and they have yet to make one with any replayability.

One thing I absolutely love is the accessibility: aside from the Space Needle, you can climb anything in a matter of seconds. No fucking around with Assassins'-Creed-style yearning looks upward*; unless you get stuck under an awning, then you're as helpless as a fly in a jar.

I understand why they didn't put more effort into the Paper Trail DLC, which is, for the most part really fascinating and fun (thanks to 42 Entertainment handling the web integration stuff), and does a great job of expanding the universe and the story: I imagine the number of people that will finish the game, let alone engage in something that goes beyond the game is dishearteningly small. I, on the other hand, have only ever left one game unfinished. Hopefully we'll see some compromise with this type of line-blurring in the future.

I wish my first reaction hadn't have been "can't wait for the sequel". 

But seriously, I can't wait for the sequel; wire, glass and paper conduits?

Dag.

Although, as I typed the above sentence, I realized that, if someone knocked at my door and said, here you go, here's the next Infamous game, I probably wouldn't both for a while as, I'm pretty burnt out after playing it twice.

Once was a bit of a stretch, quite frankly.

I found this true of Infamous 1 and 2 and, more recently, of the entire Assassins' Creed franchise. I finally ground my way through AC3, only to hear that AC4 is the good one, but I'm probably not even going to look at that until the 2015 AC game(s) are out, if then.

A bit let down by the concrete power and the timing of it, but, then again, how do you do that? You need it for the last boss, but then the game is over.

Another tear shed for replayability.

I also liked that each blast shard was necessary**, no pointless collectibles this time around.

Didn't really see that many morality choices, five in all, I believe. And they were less evil andmore selfish.

As for the protagonist being a Native American and the tiny handfuls of Indian stuff in the story, I would have given more of a shit if there had been more of it, but, if there had been more of it, I would have probably ended up complaining about how I don't care about the indian stuff.

Make sense?

Going back to the discrepancy between investment and reward with Paper Trail, I get it, but, as for Cole's Legacy, the DLC that's supposed to connect the first two games and the world in which all three take place, they should have absolutely done more.

And Zeke is still worthless and annoying.

On the whole, the game felt short. Although the first two games felt too long at times. That's always the rub, isn't it? I need to remember that, just because this is the next-generation not everything is going to be bigger and longer and more detailed...but it kind of should be, shouldn't it?

It should be longer and bigger and more nuanced than last generation's iteration.

As far as the graphical style, video was my favorite power; if it had the traversal ability of neon, it would be my preferred overall. 

I found all the boos fights annoying, although the set up and look at your battle with the angels was pretty stellar.

Thinking back, I don't think I've ever enjoyed an Infamous boss fight.

Story beats were all pretty predictable too. Although Delsin destroying his tribe at the end of the Evil playthrough was a nice, personal, dark touch.

That was kind of the only time I really felt he was evil. The worst you did before that was strangling a guy who had totally double-crossed him and who had gotten his brother killed.

I also like that the powerless segments are only a minute or two at their longest and that you're never in a place without a power source, although going again back to how shitty concrete is…

This was my first "made only for the PS4" game, and, while some parts of it look utterly stunning, overall, it felt less like a new generation, and more like a room I've been in since 2006 with a fresh coat of paint on the walls.

Still waiting for that jaw dropping moment when I'm reminded, again, that I'm living in the future.

And now, after a few more moments of expectation mitigation, I'm going to pop in Watch_Dogs***.

And, no, I will not be enabling Random Asshole Invasion mode. 

Sorry.

* God damn does that make it hard to believe you're part of a millennia-old brotherhood of crazy assassins...

** Compared to their use in the first two games anyway.

*** If I don't use the underscore, I could be arrested.

Video Game Mouthful

I've finally had some time to play some goddamn video games over the past few months and I know you'd just fucking die if I didn't write about them so you could read my thoughts and feelings regarding them.
So, you're welcome.
Parasite.

Deadpool
When rumors of a Deadpool game sprouted up a few years ago, my reaction was the same as it is every time I hear about something I love going into a new medium: don't fuck it up.
Jump ahead.
After the first trailer for the Deadpool game came out and people started ripping it apart, I was let down, but, I decided to reserve judgement until it was out and the people who were huge into Deadpool (like myself) had gotten their hands on it.
Long story short: they nailed the character, 100%. The writing and the voice (Nolan North, a man I aspire to be) were just spot on. I enjoyed the cameos and, while I bit abrupt, they decided to go with a Deadpool ending to a Deadpool game, and I respect that.
At times, the game got in the way of itself and I was a bit disappointed at how easy it was to kill Deadpool (his healing factor is more aggressive than Wolverine's y'all, **insert tooth suck noise**, but they did a really solid job and I would happily go in for a sequel. I'm hoping the game also served to show how much people really want a Deadpool movie and, based on the whispers of the upcoming X-Force film, I think it may have worked.
Ron Perlman as Cable
Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool
Uma Thurman as Domino
We all set?
Good.

GTA V
But first I finally played those two DLC packs from GTA IV, "We Like Sons of Anarchy" and "Yeah, I Guess We Could Make Something Else Up...What About Something Where The Lead Character is Latino And There Is A Gay Guy?".
Here's what happens every time a new GTA comes out (since GTA 3, anyway): I shrug and pay peripheral attention (we all know I'm going to get it), then, as it gets closer and those cinematic trailers start coming out, showing off how beautiful the devs have made it, I get a little more tingly, then, it's released, gets called the best game ever and I buy it.
I play it, am blown away by the graphical improvements, take note of how they are trying, consciously, not to do the same stuff they did in the previous games and then, after finishing the campaign and getting let down by how the payoff is never worth time I invested in it, finish a few more things here and there and then I'm over it.
History does, indeed, repeat itself.
I liked the game a lot, and those graphics and details really are astonishing. The ability to switch between three characters really helped keep things fresh too. Michael's and Trevor's plots were the most interesting although did anyone else notice that there wasn't any resolution between Trevor and Michael? They just sort of decided not to kill each other.
Overall, everything about it was great (although isn't it time for a custom radio station? In this age of Sirius XM and Spotify and all that, wouldn't it make sense in the world of GTA?), but, again, like GTA 3, Vice City (which had the best radio, hands down), San Andreas and GTA IV, once I'd finished what I was going to finish (maybe...87.6% completion when I put it down?), it fell off my radar completely.
I suppose that's natural and, depending on what else is coming out that you're looking forward to, the speed with which one forgets a game can differ, but, still, I yearn...
I'm pretty certain that, by the time any single player DLC comes out (in March or so), I'll have completely lost interest, although I might pick up said DLC and check it out before the next GTA iteration arrives.
I will say I am totally stoked about a next-gen GTA.

Spelunky
Okay. First of all, fuck this game.
How can explain this to you non-gamers who aren't reading this....so, there's this game, Demon's Souls, where you play until you die, you only have one life and there are enemies that can kill you in one hit. From point A to point B, you kill things and gather souls as currency. When you die, all the souls you've collected remain where you last died. If you can reach that point again, you get all those souls back, but, if you die before you reach the place where you last died, you lose those souls and all progress.
Short version: you could play the game for three hours, make two mistakes, and it will have been as if you haven't played the game at all.
Sort of like blacking out from drinking, but, with drinking, at least you may have hooked up with someone.
This game is fiercely defended by certain gamers (one could call them sado-masochists) and, in some circles, is considered a game-changing work.
I borrowed it from a friend, Jim, one of those sado-masochists), played for three hours and then made two mistakes, thus making it seem as if I had not played at all. I set down the controller, removed the disc from my PS3, put it back in its case and set it aside.
It was either that or, literally, throw the PS3, controller and TV out the window.
One or the other.
To put it in Jim's words: you need to learn the rules of the game. Every mistake is yours. If you don't pay attention and follow those rules, you will die.
Spelunky is like that, but worse.
One can win this game in less than ten minutes. If you are quick, yet cautious and pay attention to your surroundings.
There are twelve levels in the normal game, four in the mines, four in the jungle, four in the ice caves and four in the temple. Twelve. You need to get from the top of the screen to the bottom, where there is an exit. You have four hit points but can do stuff to get more, but it takes a little effort.
The longest game I've play has been about fourteen minutes. The shortest, less than three seconds.
I have never won this game.
Fuck this game.
I will pick it up again someday.
I can't explain this to you.


The Last Five Call of Duty games (before Ghosts)
So, the next generation has arrived.
I guess.
I don't plan on giving a shit until Metal Gear Solid: Ground Zeroes comes out in the spring.
But, as the next generation was starting, people were making lists.
Lists of the best games of this generation, and one of the best games of the generation, according to Kotaku, was Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare.
All I knew of this game was all I really knew of all COD games: first person military shooter, multiplayer lousy with immature, racist, pothead bros.
In other words: not for me.
It takes a lot to get me into an FPS. A really great story (the Bioshock series) or something that isn't running around and shooting dudes (Condemned), but, ten million Elvis fans can't be wrong, right?
So, I went out to my local Gamestop and plunked down three dollars for a used copy of COD4:MW.
I played an SAS recruit named "Soap" MacTavish.
As he never spoke a word, a common and lazy choice when creating an FPS and yet another reason I find them boring as fuck, I did not give a shit whether he lived or died.
I also played an Army Ranger named...something patriotic and generic...Steve Jackson. At one point, a terrorist detonated a nuclear device in Afghanistan, and your Ranger character dies.
Like, for real.
That was a first and was somewhat interesting, but, again, he never said a word and just followed folks around mostly, so I really didn't care.
Long story short (the game was very short, about five or six hours), bad Russian dude who was behind the nuke attack launches some nuclear missiles which get blown up before they hit and "Soap" MacTavish saves the day.
On the whole, nothing really blew me away, it was short as fuck but cheap as dirt and kind of fun, and, as I do like me a game franchise with a universe, I decided to pick up Modern Warfare 2.
This was more interesting; the stakes were raised and things got a lot more global. There is a mission where you're running through a burning, powerless Washington D.C. and I got that same rush as I did when I saw the ruins of D.C. in Fallout 3 for the first time: something about seeing a monument or location you know and that has always been there in complete and utter disarray...it's effective.
This time, you play as "Roach", who, like "Soap" never says a fucking word, although, now that you aren't controlling "Soap" he's talkative as fuck, Scottish, if you can believe it.
Maybe he was just shy as a rookie?
Anyway, Modern Warfare 2 ends with a cliffhanger and, since the third game was pretty much just as cheap, I went ahead and pulled the trigger.
The opening of the third game is great: we're involved in a full blown world war with the Russians and you start off as a (completely silent) member of Delta Force, taking back the New York Stock Exchange from the Russians, then getting involved in a fucking helicopter battle above the city. They seem to have reached the perfect height of spectacle in this one.
Eventually, "Soap" dies and you avenge his death as super badass SAS bloke, Captain Price.
Much like Batman, I feel bad as Price because I'm not good at these games.
Aside from the three Modern Warfare games, I also checked out the two Black Ops games.
In the first BO games, you have a character with a face and a voice! It's so goddamn refreshing that I was almost able to forgive how fucking awful this guy's American accent was. Did they absolutely NEED to cast an Australian actor for this? Jesus. It's all over the place. If this was going to happen with the silent protagonists, maybe it's better they stay silent...
I don't blame the actor (Sam Worthington) though, I blame the fucking director.
I'm a voice actor and when shit sounds awful, it's his job to stop you and say, gently yet firmly, "Sam, you know, we got a lot of Aussie on that last one, could we do another?"
Actors should obey their directors.
As for the story: it was gummy, convoluted and 90% flashback.
Oh, and they imply that you were brainwashed and killed Kennedy.
The sequel to this takes place in 2025 with you as the son of Sam Worthington with Merle from Walking Dead as your BFF and Tony Todd as your commanding officer, in perhaps one of the most overacted roles of his life. The only explanation I can think of is that, because they couldn't see him he thought he would have to act extra hard with his voice?
Again: it's the director's job to explain why that doesn't make any fucking sense.
The weapons are cool because it's the future but, after five of these games, I really found myself losing interest.
In the end, even though the characters were all complete zeroes, I liked the alternate history craziness of Modern Warfare over the pseudo-Fight Club shit of Black Ops.
Might be done with military shooters for the rest of my life.

Batman: Arkham Origins
I loved Arkham Asylum. The story and the game play and everything about it.
It has become the definitive Batman game.
The sequel, Arkham City, took things to the next level, made things open world. There was much more to do, more villains, more stories, more everything.
Some folks thought it was trying to do too much and defer to the original as being the better game.
The third game, Arkham Origins, which is a prequel, taking place after Batman has been Batmanning for two years in Gotham, focuses on his first encounter with the Joker, as well as eight assassins who have been hired by Black Mask on Christmas Eve to kill Batman.
The general consensus was that this is more of the same of what we got from Arkham City, sometimes using some of the exact same environments, but not as good since the studio that did the first two didn't handle this one.
That is pretty accurate.
But, like I said, I loved the first two games and the Batman universe, so I liked this one as well.
While the character designs are great (the designers always try to do something different with the look of the characters, not relying too heavily on the cartoons or the comics or the movies) and the voice acting was really solid (they did not get Kevin Conroy for Batman, but chose to go with a younger sounding guy, nor did they go with Mark Hamill as Joker, but rather an 70% soundalike), I did have a few problems; such as the fact that no one else seemed to be meeting Batman for the first time except for the Joker. I also thought there would something about Batman's origins, but, nope. the game starts with Batman finding out about the assassins and then going to town.
I can see some thin spots here, for instance, how close the fight with Copperhead was to the fight with Ra's al Ghul in Arkham City, how they keep finding ways to poison Batman so they can do something "interesting" with the gameplay and how I spend hours in every one of these fucking games finding every fucking Riddler trophy / datapack / Anarky tag / Cyrus Pinkney plaque because I have a touch of OCD.
Honestly, I felt bad playing this game because I'm a terrible Batman, something that is only sometimes my fault.
Here are some things that defeated Batman in this game: water, steam (there wasn't any ice in this game, but I'm sure that would have been just as victorious over the Dark Knight as in its other forms), wind (instead of just having invisible walls, whenever he gets too close to a boundary, they have a strong gust of wind push him back. A strong gust of wind. This fucking guy beat Superman on numerous occasions), and the one foot gap between the top of a billboard and a roof.
I also loved how, when a guy with a gun spots Batman, rather than rushing in and fucking breaking his face while he's standing there, shocked at the mere presence of the Batman, Batman decides, rather, that it would be a better idea to do the Skanking Pickle and punch the air like a fussy toddler.
Game designers: when you are five feet from a guy with a gun and he turns around and sees you, when you press the attack button, Batman should attack the guy with the gun, not have a dance party.
You fucks.
Then there's Batman's inability to grapnel when you fucking need him too.
HE'S BATMAN GOD DAMN IT. HE CAN GRAPNEL WHERE AND WHEN HE WANTS.
But, that's the rub when it comes to making a Batman video game...it's still a video game. There are invisible walls and inaccessible places and all that. I just wish they would hide it better instead of taking it out of fucking Batman.
Plus, all the cliffhangers were toothless.
There's a point where Alfred dies...until, ten seconds later Batman saves him...because Alfred can't die in the prequel if he's in the later games.
Then there's Bane finding out who you are...until he takes a chemical that is like super Venom...but it causes memory loss.
Really?
Memory loss?
Or maybe this was allll a dream.
And there has GOT to be a way to make collecting all those fucking datapacks (there were two hundred...and I collected them ALL) worth it. An empty fucking room and a little collectible thing worth 100000 XP?
I ALREADY HAVE ALL THE FUCKING XP FOR COLLECTING EVERYTHING THAT ALLOWED ME TO GET TO THIS FUCKING THING!
Christ.
Anyway, aside from all that...good times.
Can't wait for that Suicide Squad game.

Batman: Arkham City
Origins made me hungry for Arkham City, so I played through that again. Hands down, a better and more interesting game than Origins. I don't know if it's because Origins is a prequel, a thing that will, inherently, never be a good thing or because of Kevin Conroy and the best Joker performance Mark Hamill has ever given or the story and the ending or what but, yeah. Arkham City wins.
I played the New Game Plus, where you start with all your stuff from the previous playthrough and, let me tell you, being able to play a Batman game without having to give a shit about getting any of those fucking Riddler trophies is endless bliss, on the other hand, all those fights without the counter indicator made things a lot more frustrating, especially the fucking ninjas...AM I RIGHT?!?!?!!?
Some highlights I had forgotten: the Clayface fight, the Mr. Freeze fight, every time the Joker speaks, the random thug chatter you pick up drifting around the city, the implications Azrael brings and Nolan North's Penguin.
Very keen to see what Rocksteady has coming up next.

And, what now, you scream, silently?
Well, I have a stockpile of games to keep me sweaty until the PS4 gets streaming capabilities, and a handful of games I want to check out that are now cheaper.

Here they are (along with the reasons I'm probably going to just play Arkham Asylum or City again instead):

Far Cry 3 (it's an FPS, an intriguing one, but an FPS nonetheless. I'm off them for a while. And, yes, I've heard of and played the demo for Blood Dragon. Again, fun stuff, but FPS no no no!!!!)

Beyond: Two Souls (I've heard it's more like a long, interactive movie and riddled with cheap gameplay. But, as it's short, I might check this out next)

The Last Of Us (heard amazing things, but also that it is pitch black, both in tone and in luminescence)

Ashura's Wrath (heard a lot of good stuff; fun, not too much of a time commitment and that it's basically a series of ridiculous QTEs)

Assassins Creed III (story is slow, protagonist is bland as pap and I'm honestly fucking done with this series)

Deadly Premonition (basically Twin Peaks the video game. I've heard the controls (and, from some sources, that the game itself) are horrible.)

Shadows of the Damned (off the wall weird and adult action, gets old fast)

Hitman: Absolution (with all Hitman games, I tend to nail the first few missions, silent assassin like a mofo, but then, shit gets too hard and I give up, just killing everything I can before turning to a FAQ. Plus, the fucking storyline of this franchise seems totally borked. Let's get some continuity here folks! There's also some of that Batman thing where I feel bad at being so awful, this guy, Agent 47 is a SUPER ASSASSIN, but I'll probably try and stab a guy using a dog or something. Also, I get annoyed with the whole, oh, you quietly killed a guy on the fourth floor? Well, now fucking everyone in the building knows about it.  These dicks aren't part of the hive mind, you lazy goddamn programmers!)

Deus Ex: Human Revolution Need to sit down and finish this. This was another one that was supposed to be amazing so I bought it on the cheap. Didn't know it was an FPS which totally bummed me out. A lot more interesting that any of the COD stuff, but, again, fucking FPS. I might just slog my way through it as, the last time I played it (months ago), the Illuminati were named as the antagonists in it. Which is awesome. Hail Discordia!!!

Ugh.
Look at all that.
This is valuable time I could have spent playing video games.
You dicks.