A review of "Watch Dogs" for the PS4

Finished Watch Dogs for the PS4.

Here's some thoughts.

The game designers must have been overjoyed when the whole NSA thing happened while they were making this game.

As a voice actor, I allowed to say this: dude doing Aiden Pierce is fucking horrible. I want him to just clear his throat and take a little sip of water EVERY TIME HE OPENS HIS DULL, FUCKING MOUTH. 

I am impressed with how he managed to sound both nasally and gravely at the same time. Must have been harder than Tuvan throat singing.

Facial animation and hair looks like top-of-the-line PS2 graphics.

Then there's Lisbeth Salander. Who is in the game. Because Ubisoft thought no one would notice?

Also, B-Real (from Cypress Hill) is in the game. With dreadlocks.

Driving: what is worse, drinving on a road made of ice in a car made o glassor vice versa? Whichever is worse is what it's like to drive in this game. In an open world game where you need to drive, make the driving good.

Regarding the soundtrack: why haven't we seen a GTA or Saints Row or Watchdogs where the player can use music from their hard drive as a custom radio station?

It's 2014.

I remember some games on fucking PSOne where you could take the game disc out and have your own CD playing instead of the game's soundtrack. How has this technology devolved?

The moment when "C.R.E.A.M." by Wu Tang starts playing though...I don't think I ever realized how much old school Wu mitigates things.

After getting past how it looks and diving head first into the side stuff, I had fun.

This game could have originally been the future Assassins' Creed we're never going to get. 

Like so much. 

The ctOS towers are the viewpoints, the maps are both just as choked with stuff, the pointless and interchangeable clothes, the different types of weapons, the number of times I tried to take someone down silently and ended up standing on the box I was hiding behind because THE FUCKING BUTTON FOR TAKING SOMEONE DOWN SILENTLY AND CLIMBING UP ON A BOX IS THE SAME FUCKING BUTTON.

I really liked the Gang Hideouts.  Since I'm bad at games, I enjoy being able to pure stealth. The camera puzzles are also a great touch

Jordi is fun. Should have been more Jordi.

Lucky Quinn's teeth are their own character.

The digital trips. You can feel the time and love put into them. If Ubisoft were more bastardy than they already are, I could see them releasing these as some separate thing.

While I don't know/love/enjoy at all a lot of the music, I love the way you obtain it, love it.

At one point, hours in, there was still a lot of stuff to do. Was it all fun or worth it? Meh. 

There's more I could say, but the overall feeling is as follows: some of the interactions and mechanics, the stealth and camera systems were great, a lot of fun, but most everything else was not.

And, while the credits did an admirable* job of planting at least a dozen seeds for the inevitable flood of yearly sequels, I want nothing to do with any of them.

I can't think of a more forgettable game.

Wu Tang can only ameliorate so much.

* Read "desperate".

Soundboarding with myself regarding Watchdogs

Going to blurt for a second about Watchdogs.
So...I really do like the look and idea of this game. There appears to be a hell of a lot of depth and it looks stunning...but...I'm blasting my way through Infamous: Second Son at the moment, and, while it's not the same game, it is a city sandbox game. Then there's the fact that, of all these nuances and features and everything, how much am I actually going to use?
Street races?
Fuck street races. The last thing I ever want to do in a GTA-style game is have to drive somewhere while there's a fucking clock on my screen.
Multiplayer that allows those assholes I try to keep myself insulated from access to my game? In order to fuck with me? Who in the fuck would want something like that in their game?* Imagine trying to finish a report at work when some guy walked into your cubicle and kept farting.
Now pay money for that.
Boom, you've just experienced Watchdogs multiplayer.
Plus, everything we've seen that looks amazing thus far has been PC, something that does not apply to me, the dialogue in this sounds like the worst kind of tripe and these characters look as generic as humanly possible. In fact, more so, I feel like the big reveal is that a computer designed these generic-ass characters based on an amalgam of generic-ass characters.
Is this just Ubisoft dressing up a turd in HD?

In the end, it's only a $60 expenditure and I've reached a point in my life where $60 is not going to make or break me, but, just because I can spend the money, does that mean I should? There's also the PS4 drought at the moment.
I want to be in the next generation, but, so far, nothing has felt that next-gen. Second Son does look really gorgeous, specifically the streets and all the power effects, especially the third one that you get, I love the style, but it just looks like a really beautiful coat of paint on the walls of a room I've been in for almost ten years.
I'm sure I'm not the only person lamenting this and I know we're going to have to wait until 2015 to maybe see something that actually drops our collective nerd jaws, but...I don't know...Veruca Salt.

Hm.
You know how, when you're stuck between two things, sometimes you'll flip a coin? You know how, more advanced thinkers will choose which side they want and then just go with that as their choice because the fact that they chose that means it was what they preferred?
I feel like this little ramble has served as that.
Thanks, no one!





* Players of Demon's Souls, Dead Souls and Dead Souls 2, please put down your erections.