End of the Month Music Bitchfest - July 2017

Nine Inch Nails
Hoo doggy...

First and foremost, the new EP, Add Violence, is just stunning, with or without knowing its place in the Year Zero universe. There's a rock solid single in "Less Than", and then a bunch of weird, experimental, beautiful, horrible shit afterwards*. No idea how they're going to top this for the third and final entry into the trilogy. It's going to be a long, dark six month wait...
Full review here.

Also, I saw NIN two nights in a row: first at the final day of Panorama and then, the next night, at their secret show at Webster Hall. Yes, I am very, very cool and should be envied.

Panorama

When you can silence tens of thousands of sweaty, drunken people with your music at age 52, you know you’re still relevant. When you do it four times in 90 minutes, you know you’re Trent fucking Reznor. Nine Inch Nails' set, which closed out the three day music and technology festival, began with intensifying, ominous noise while the “NIN" logo slowly formed on two massive screens flanking the stage, then, just as the panic-inducing cacophony was about to overwhelm the crowd, it cut out and a voice spoke: “yes, everyone seems to be asleep”. Suddenly, Reznor was storming his way to the microphone, dressed in aviators and a leather jacket, set to burn the world down.

The band, with new addition, Atticus Ross on bass and synths, perfectly captured the fury and chaos of "Burning Bright”, lyrical clarity be damned; you didn’t need to understand the words, you just needed to know that whatever Reznor was screaming through that megaphone was absolutely fucking venomous. "Less Than”, the lead single from their most recent EP Add Violence, came off very strong, but not as towering and powerful as the album version. “Reptile" was as loud and destructive as always, transporting the entire audience of thousands back to 1994 for about seven minutes. It was also great to see "Gave Up" back on the roster, the live performances of that have always been some of the most bladed moments of the NIN live experience. And anyone not weeping openly when Bowie's vocals joined Reznor's on “I Can’t Give Everything Away" was either not human or...no, just that, not human. Sadly, Reznor still relies on his “The Show Is Almost Over” trio of “The Hand That Feeds” into “Head Like A Hole” into “Hurt”, three songs that mean nothing to me anymore and can’t possibly mean anything to him at this point.

This was the third of a small handful of dates Nine Inch Nails are playing this year before embarking on a world tour in early 2018 and, if this was any indication, whatever they come up with in the new year is going to be more than worth the wait.

Webster Hall

In town for the Panorama music festival, Nine Inch Nails decided to drop by Webster Hall with Tobacco, fill it with fog, and slowly asphyxiate everyone inside with heat and punishingly loud music. While the size of the venue made it the definition of intimate (about a 1200-person capacity), it was more than that; Reznor forewent the subtle costuming from the festival shows and, right before introducing the band, stated “you know who they are”. And that was true. The show was announced on the Nine Inch Nails Facebook page eight and a half hours before doors, with tickets only available to fans who had a password or to those “loyal nin.com store patrons” via an email from the band. 

The show featured the live debut of “She’s Gone Away”** and a few welcome surprises in the form of the tour debut of “Sanctified”, “1,000,000” and “Somewhat Damaged”, that last as the opener. Then there was the odd inclusion of about thirty seconds of How To Destroy Angels’ “The loop closes”. Since all of HTDA was there and on stage except for Mariqueen Maandig, the crowd was expecting a rare treat, but before everyone could really grasp what was happening, they stopped playing it and moved onto the next track. “Gave Up”, “Reptile” and “Burning Bright" were devastating  in the confined space and the addition of “Survivalism” had people screaming along and pumping their fists like protestors. The moment when all the lights went out during “Burn" was truly terrifying; I thought Robin Finck was going to leap off the stage and stab me to death with a shard of shattered guitar, which, admittedly, would have been a pretty awesome way to die. Proximity, energy, and setlist aside, my absolute favorite moment of this evening was that, for the first time since I started seeing Nine Inch Nails almost twenty years ago…they did not. Fucking. Play “The Hand That Feeds”. The simple lack of that overused, cookie-cutter, threadbare-kitchen-rug of a song made this show stand out more than anything in recent memory.

I am truly grateful. 

And spoiled.

Small gallery of Webster Hall here.

Beck
Some website has a title and release date for Beck's new one, specifically October 13th and Colors. I could buy that. Although I won't believe until I hear it and am disappointed at its length and the ratio of wait to reward.

New Tori Amos song, "Cloud Rider"...while the lyrics are just rife with story and a hidden depth, the music is...a bit...powdery....is the word that keeps popping into my head. I don't know if that's an outright bad thing, it's just...I don't know...powdery. See and hear for yourself here.

Also, a new Garbage song, "No Horses". In a nutshell, it does what all of Depeche Mode's Spirit was trying to do, but better and in about five and a half minutes. It's dark and intense and fucked up but I really wish Manson didn't say "no horses" so many times. It gets irritating. But I suppose when it's for a cause (all proceeds go to the Kickstarter to have the Angry Marmalade Pancake Man assassinated...or the International Committee for the Red Cross...one of those)...that doesn't matter? Because, like, if you complain about a song that's made for a cause...it's a bit like you're not supporting the cause for which the song has been created?

Anyway.

They made a video too. 
It's prophetic and disturbing as fuck.

Oh, and while I had my (fucking goddamn fucking 4th row center) ticket to see Garbage play at the Beacon last week, I booked a fucking on camera commercial. Which shot in fucking Baltimore. And required me to shave my fucking arms and legs. And I missed the show. Furious because the set was something I'd been dreaming of for years. 
Fuck you, career.

Finally, Gorillaz just put out a fun, disco-riffic video for "Strobelite", a song which, as far as I can tell, does not feature the Gorillaz at all. Whatever the case, seeing Murdoc leer at the camera and 2D and Noodle dance together is all I need. Ever. 
Watch here with your eyes.

* Except for the end of "The Background World".

** From that episode of Twin Peaks.

A review of Nine Inch Nails' "Add Violence"

Note: I’m not going to even mention the ARG here. Okay? Good.

Add Violence is the second in a trilogy of related EPs from Nine Inch Nails…and it’s real good, you guys. 

"Less Than”, the EP’s “radio single" is misleading in the best way possible. It’s like an ideal version of “The Hand That Feeds”, which was tired about two minutes into its first play; here’s hoping the weirdly retro synth and drum programming along with the jump kick to one’s front teeth this song provides will forever replace it in all future Nine Inch Nails live shows.

“The Lovers" is as dark and eerie as a song called “The Lovers" by Nine Inch Nails should be, featuring lyrics such as "hot swollen skin / want me take me / perfect embrace / black and bloody / rotten and perfect” and instrumentation that harkens back to “The Believers”, a track from the first How To Destroy Angels EP.

“This Isn’t The Place” has an almost jazzy feel to it and a gorgeous, syrupy slow build, culminating in some of the most vulnerable vocalizations Trent Reznor’s ever created. 

"Not Anymore” is driven by an utterly filthy bass line, reminiscent of 2005’s “The Line Begins To Blur” but…just fucking filthier. Atticus Ross, you wash your bass, young man. It’s also creeping and schizophrenic and just unsettling as hell, one of the band’s most unique tracks to date.

Add Violence ends with “The Background World”, which clocks in at nearly 12 minutes. The first four and change are a solid Nine Inch Nails song, nothing more, nothing less, but the last seven and change are the digital equivalent of a locked groove, but instead of repeating the same few seconds over and over until the needle is lifted, the nine second phrase slowly degrades until it’s just a sludgy buzz. It’s…memorable.

This is some of the most challenging and experimental music from Nine Inch Nails since the stranger moments of Ghosts I-IV. Though I will say that, after one listen, I never have to hear those last seven plus minutes of “The Background World” ever again, just like I never need to hear Coil’s “Tunnel of Goats” ever again.

For those keeping track*, there are references to 2007’s Year Zero, 2013’s Welcome oblivion**, 1999’s The Fragile, 2011's score for The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, last year’s Not The Actual Events, and even Bleedthrough, the unreleased concept album that later became 2005’s With Teeth….and that's not even taking into account the nods, Easter eggs, and allusions scattered around the cover art and accompanying music videos. Folks…there’s a lot to unpack here. But, for those who saw that episode of Twin Peaks and downloaded “She’s Gone Away” then heard “The" Nine Inch Nails had a new thing coming out and decided to check out Add Violence…well, sorry. After “Less Than”, you might just be let down and/or confused and/or terrified…and/or a Nine Inch Nails fan for the rest of your life.

* Like the thousands of people over at the Echoing The Sound forums

** Debut LP from Reznor’s side project How To Destroy Angels, which consists of Reznor, Atticus Ross, and Reznor's wife, Mariqueen Maandig.

End of the Month Music Bitchfest - June 2017

Well, "spring 2017" is officially over. And here's what didn't happen...

Beck

Not . A. Peep. No pre-order, no album date/tracklist/title announcement, no new* single. And, here's where my shitbrain went, you ready?

Well, obviously, Beck is letting his label handle this whole thing, otherwise, he'd have just released it like he did with those 12" singles a few years back. They didn't release it last summer because there was so much other summer music and they didn't want this new summer flow album to go unnoticed**, so they waited. But then it was fall and winter and, pssh, NO ONE buys music that isn't season-specific in a season for which it's not specified***!!!!! Soooo fuck it, let's push it to 2017.

*2017 rolls around*

Okay, the album is done and has been for, like, four years, spring is coming up, let's release....naaaah, Beck is off in some sort of space womb right now and has totally forgotten about this new album because he's working on several more new albums we can't wait to not release, so let's say...2018-ish?

*handshakes and blowjobs all around*

The Aristocrats.

In all seriousness though, based on the gap in his tour schedule, the album should be out in August.

And, speaking of "spring 2017" letdowns...

Nine Inch Nails

This is actually bittersweet. Or I suppose, since it's me, bittersweetbittersweetbitter.

All those fucking records folks ordered back in December of 2016 (definitive editions of Broken, The Fragile, The Downward Spiral, the new EP, and that crazy alternate version of The Fragile) were delayed because of Reznor and the people he chose to work with, bitter. But, with the resolution of the nin.com store fuck up came an e-mail from Trent Himself apologizing and telling fans that NTAE was the first of three related EPs, the second of which is coming out before 7/23, sweet. But, it's still just an EP (which can't be more than 25 minutes of music if these are all getting one-sided 12" releases), bitter. BUT there will be a third EP coming out, sweet. But not until the end of the year, bitter.

In other news, everything else in my life is great, hence why I can always find this sort of shit about which to bitch.

There is also the massive score for Ken Burns' The Vietnam War, which should be...Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross scoring a Ken Burns film about the Vietnam War. Clips sound a bit like Dragon Tattoo.

And finally, "the" Nine Inch Nails (guest starring Mariqueen and Joey from QOTSA) made their karaoke appearance on Twin Peaks.

St. Vincent

Shit's happnin'! Fun little tour announcement was posted on her redesigned site and a brand new track called 'New York' has been released! Eeeeexxxxccciiittteeemmmeeennntttt!!!!!!

They Might Be Giants

As work continues on their new album, slated for late 2017, TMBG have announced a massive 65 city tour of the U.S. for early 2018. Here's hoping we don't hear 'Drink!' once.

The tour begins with two back to back shows at their old haunt, the Music Hall of Williamsburg on 12/30 and 12/31. And I shall be at both. 

Gorillaz released a song that should have been on Humanz called 'Sleeping Powder'. It's...well, what most of Humanz should have been. The tracklist for the super deluxe vinyl version of Humanz was also revealed and there are about 14 brand new tracks coming with it. Tasty. Albarn said there are "about 40 tracks that didn't make the album", and that that's going to "keep him busy for the next 18 months or so".

W00t.

And, saving the last for last, it looks like Marilyn Manson's 2/14 release of SAY10 is coming in September. I'm sure it will live up to all the hype, make up for the delay, and redefine music as humans understand it just as Manson says it will.

Next month...Nine Inch Nails live at Panorama and a new Nine Inch Nails EP. Might have a little something to say about those.

* You know, "Up All Night"? That new Beck single from that watch commercial/soccer video game that came out in September 2016? That new Beck single.

** Because we now live in a world where fucking Beck can release a new album and it can go unnoticed.

*** No one buys music...at all...

End of the Month Music Bitchfest - May 2017

Nine Inch Nails
Hurricane of shit between Firebrand (the shitty people who ruined Nine Inch Nails' online store for thousands of people) and the man himself, who posted a snarky little shot at them on the official site. Apparently, in "early June"* the store is coming back and the NIN fan community is rife with speculation. When it comes to Nine Inch Nails, I have embraced the mantra: hopey for the besty, expecty the worsty.
It's how I live.
And that is sad.

There's also a tiny taste of new Reznor/Ross stuff from September's Vietnam War dco from Ken Burns.

Beck
Not only am I beginning to doubt there is a new Beck album, I am starting to doubt there is a Beck. He was just some mass hallucination, some fever dream cooked up by swamp gas, moonlight, and a picture of David Bowie.

They Might Be Giants
TMBG are still beavering away at their next one and doing a few free shows in the next few months. Probably nothing new.

Marilyn Manson still hasn't released his new album, but he does appear to have something on his face. Again.

Was blessed enough to see Mother Feather at Tokyo x Brooklyn. Review and pictures here.

Inspired by Drew McDowall's latest, Unnatural Channel and disappointed by the latest Gorillaz, I got dark and listened to a shitton of noise and ambient and electronic and scum. Basically, Coil, Hyde, NON, Psychic TV and their ilk. Made life weirder.

Done.
Go.

* Though nowhere does it say June 2017

Good Bye, Best Buy

To preface everything: this was all my fault.
Also, none of it matters.
This is one of the most egregious examples of a first world problem I've experienced in recent memory and I accept that...because I live in a first world country.
Please, remember all that.

Now, as I was saying...this was all my fault; I had my item in my Amazon cart, it was in stock (a pre-order item, two weeks before release), and would have been delivered on the day of its release. I did my research, decided this was exactly the product I wanted...and then, for whatever reason*...I forgot...to click..."pre-order".
Flash forward to a day before the release of said item: I found it odd that I hadn't received the usual six emails from Amazon, letting me know my product was taken off the shelf, letting me know my product was being prepared to be placed into a box, letting me know the people placing said product into said box were very nice and thought I smelled good. So I popped over to Amazon to find, to my horror, my soul-wrenching, gut-churning horror...that I had forgotten to order my item...and it was now "currently unavailable".
That phrase, "currently unavailable", to someone in a first world country must be the equivalent of "pogram" or "no water" to those in third world countries.
"What do you mean the Unicorn Frappuccino is 'currently unavailable'?! I'll die!" "What do you mean Netflix in 'currently unavailable'?! I'll dehydrate!"
"What do you mean my copy of Injustice 2: Ultimate Edition for the Playstation 4 with Darkseid as a pre-order bonus is 'currently unavailable'?! Hundreds of thousands of refugees and their families will be slaughtered!"
Yes. This is about a video game.
You may leave now, if you'd like.
Still here?
All right, first world warriors...come with me...
After I ceased shrieking, caught my breath, and my mind stopped reeling from seeing those two words arranged next to one another**, I said out loud, "Fuck it. This is New York." I figured it would be harder to not purchase a copy of this game here. I redirected my internetting to Best Buy dot com. I saw the game listed and checked for in-store pick up locations since I live in New York and there are five I can get to within twenty minutes. I was informed that "there are no stores within 250 miles of my zip code that have this game in store". Perhaps I should have just killed myself then...but no...I persisted.
Oh, it's the day before release, that makes sense.
I felt relief come rushing in.
Jump forward again to the next morning. Injustice 2 had been released! It was a thing that people could purchase and own and have and bring home to their mothers and fathers and kiss and cherish!!!**** I realized after spending two weeks playing the first game and reading all the supplemental material, that I was officially hyped.
So! Back to Best Buy dot com, when the game was now available for purchase and in store pick up at the most convenient location for me, 23rd and 6th, literally, yards from the M train. Door to door? 30 minutes. I make my purchase and everything is ducky.
Another jump forward!
I show up at the store, ready to pick up my game. At the store pick up location, I wait for about five minutes while the woman behind the counter helps a blind man find an "introduction to Keith Sweat" CD*****, then...I meet Oliver. Oliver is short, has close cropped blond hair, and thin-rimmed, black glasses. I show him my order number and he disappears for ten minutes. When he returns he informs me that the store does not have my game. Before I can say anything he says that the Union Square location (about ten to fifteen minutes away between one stop on the M and a few avenues) has "300 copies". I did not make this number up, but, as it turns out, Oliver did.
"And if I go there now and show them my order number, they'll just hand me a copy?" I ask.
"Absolutely, They have 300 copies."
Why does he keep telling me they have 300 copies? Is this man all right?
"You're sure?" I ask.
"Yes. They have 300 copies."
"All right, I'll head there now." I put my phone and wallet away.
"I'm very sorry about that," he adds.
"Not your fault," I say, and I mean that; I've worked retail, I know he didn't steal my copy of the game, Best Buy fucked up, as they have been known to in the past, "thanks."
About fifteen minutes later, I enter the Union Square Best Buy.
Here are some highlights of my exchange with their store pick up department:
"We don't have this."
"I was told you had '300 copies'."
"'300 copies'?"
"Yes."
"We had less than 20, now they're all gone."
"So you don't have 300 copies?"
"We never had 300 copies. Who told you that?"
"The guy at the 23rd street store. Was he just making that number up?"
"Yes."
At this point, I have become irate, but just as the 23rd street store not having my copy of the game wasn't Oliver's fault, this woman not having the invented number of copies of the game was definitely not her fault. My being at this location with an invented number of copies of the game, however, was Oliver's fault.
"Can you call the store pick up at the 23rd street store?"
"You want me to call them?"
"Yes, I'd like to ask why they lied to me."
She paused...because...really...what do you say to a sweating, 6'8 man whose brows are clouding like a summer sky before a thunderstorm?
I describe the person I spoke to because I did not, as yet, have his name, and, after some time, she hands me the phone.
"...hello?"
"Hi. I'm the very tall man who was in there fifteen minutes ago and you didn't have my copy of Injustice 2: Ultimate Edition."
"...yes?"
"Why did you tell me there were 300 copies of the game at the Union Square store? They had less than 20 and now they're all gone."
"Sir...I...I hope you don't think I gave you the wrong information and sent you there intentionally."
"I'd just like to know why you told me they had 300 copies when they have none."
"Sir...I...look, we're getting another shipment of the game at 6:00 today. I can call you the moment they're in and then I'll give you a 20% discount."
I did not believe him.
"Okay, fine, I'll see you at 6:00."
I handed the phone back to the lady, who hung it up.
"Why did he tell you we had 300 copies?"
"I still don't know."
"No one has 300 copies."
I left and went about my day.
Just before 3:00, my phone rings. The caller ID...Best Buy.
For a moment...I had hope. Why do I hope?

"Hello?"
"Your order is going to be cancelled because it didn't arrive at our store."
This was not Oliver. This was an Angry Man.
"What do you mean?"
"*irritated sigh* Because your order didn't show up in our store, it's going to be cancelled. Or you can pick it up at the store on 44th and 5th three days from now."
Apparently, it was my fault my order didn't show up.
"I was told that you're getting a new shipment at 6:00 and that I can pick it up-"
"That's not current information! You can pick it up in three days or it's going to be cancelled!"
I was done with this cocksucker yelling at me because his organization had fucked up.
"Cancel it."
He hung up.
Guess who has two thumbs and didn't get a phone call at 6:00 pm.
The next morning, Wednesday, I was heading to an audition about a block away from the 23rd street Best Buy, so I decided to stop in and have a chat with the person who had lied to me twice. I approach the store pick up window and ask the woman if there's a shortish, white guy with close cropped blond hair and thin-rimmed, black glasses working there. After ascertaining that I was not talking about an Apple rep(?), she asks me if he's "chubby".
"Sure." I respond.
She then gets a smile on her face and asks, "Oliver?"
Ah. Yes. This person was definitely an "Oliver".
"That sounds about right. When is Oliver in today?"
"At 3:00."
"Thank you."
I leave.
After my audition, I meet a friend, Ryan, for lunch and, afterwards, I ask if he would like to come with me to intimidate someone. He knows me well enough to know that, aside from my height and Resting Asshole Face, I'm kind of a teddy bear. He laughs and says yes. As we approach the 23rd street Best Buy, I tell him to not say a word, "just put on your sunglasses and stare, blankly, in his direction." We stalk up and there he is...Oliver.
Here is where I start to feel bad. I don't know why I never realized that, under the right circumstances, I can, perhaps, come off as...a threatening presence. It was clear by the look on Oliver's little face that that was happening...right now. I was being a threatening presence. And, while I did realize just how threatening of a presence I was being and how this might affect little Oliver...I was also kind of done getting fucked around. Plus, I'm an actor and had already committed myself to the role of Threatening Presence.
"Oliver".
"...yes..."
"Can you guess why I'm here?"
"I...the game..."
I counted on my horrible, spidery fingers.
One...
"You sent to me to the Union Square store."
Two...
"You lied and told me they had 300 copies."
Three...
"You said you'd call me yesterday and have the game for me."
I paused.
"What's going on, Oliver?"
"It...it didn't come in. The shipment. I don't...right now...we have the shipment coming in Friday morning, early. 8:00 am. I'll put one aside and give you the discount."
"You're sure."
"Yes."
"100%."
"Yes!"
I did not believe him.
"I received a call yesterday-"
"From corporate? Ignore them."
"-about cancelling my order-"
"Ignore them."
"Okay, I'll ignore corporate."
"Okay."
At this point, I could tell I had ruined Oliver's day, maybe week, and that I was making him uncomfortable. So I decided to make things better.
"Best Buy fucked up, but you're making it right."
I held out my hand.
"Thank you, Oliver."
He shook my hand, and I left.

You're probably about done with this whole thing, so here's the rest...
No, I didn't get a call on Friday morning. I called the Best Buy on 23rd and after eight minutes listening to their goddamn insipid holdbot, a woman in a "call center" picked up. I told her everything, she called the store and spoke to Oliver who told her fucking guess what. It was then, right then, I asked myself: why is there still a Best Buy? Amazon has drones, they do same day delivery, their customer service is astonishing while 95% of all Best Buy employees I've interacted with have been either uninformed, misinformed, unpleasant, unhelpful, and/or staggeringly (almost surely intentionally) doltish...how is this still something that exists? For whom is this blue and yellow hell of shitty retail intended?
And then I remembered that first day trying to pick up the product that I had purchased...I remembered the blind man...looking for Keith Sweat CDs.
Well, that answers my question.
I've been a customer of Best Buy since I was in high school, for almost 25 years, a quarter of a fucking century...but after this, I'm good. I'll forgo that specific and false feeling of accomplishment which comes from going into a place and walking out with something you did not have before in exchange for never having to experience anything like this, ever again. Vote with your wallets, right? I know I'm just one person and that I don't even frequent Best Buy enough to actually have a real impact on their empire, but at least I can spare myself that particular retail gulag for the rest of my natural life.
This is for me.

* Let's blame the president.

** Probably should have mentioned this earlier, but every time you read the words "currently unavailable" from this point on, here and out in the world, picture them being spoken by Vincent Price with a fair amount of reverb***

*** To better achieve that specific sense of dread and horror-from-beyond-the-grave

**** Yet another aside: in the time leading up to the release of I2, I was on the fence about buying it. Not only do I have a huge stack of video games that I really need to get though, you guys, but, while I did enjoy the first game, it wasn't the greatest game ever made and, since I don't use the multiplayer features on most games I purchase, I was only going to get most of the enjoyment intended out of this game. But, fickle me! I decided to replay the first game, just to remind me of the story. I enjoyed it very much, perhaps more than I remember. Then, as I am wont to do...I took things up a notch. Okay, bear with me...in a nutshell, Injustice creates an alternate reality in the DC Comic universe. The catalyzing event is that Joker, who's grown tired of messing with Batman, decides to mess with Superman. He does so by kidnapping Lois Lane (who is newly pregnant with Superman's child), attaching a trigger to her heart that, if it stops, will detonate a nuclear bomb in Metropolis, then gassing Superman with Scarecrow's fear toxin laced with kryptonite, casing him to perceive Lois as Doomsday and kill her. It's actually a pretty cool story. So, Superman sees what he's done; his wife and child dead by his hand, and the millions of casualties from the bomb, and absolutely freaks out. He finds the Joker, who teases him and asks if he thinks he'll ever love again, then Superman kills Joker. Puts his hand right through his chest.
What results over the next five years is Superman becoming a dictator and "protecting" the world, while Batman and other heroes try to stop him. Eventually, the good guys pull heroes from a different reality over to this fucked up reality and that's where the game starts. While the story in the game in about three to four hours long, a comic was created to expand upon the events of those five years which led up to the events of the game. This comic came out in real time over five years, over a hundred and fifty issues.
And I read every issue.
I like a fleshed out universe, what can I say?
All that to say: I had put some "effort" into this endeavor.

***** In the end, he bought two.

End of the Month Music Bitchfest - April 2017

Nine Inch Nails
The wait is becoming a palpable thing...

Beck
The wait is becoming an even fatter man, sitting on my chest and eating a paste made of Velveeta cheese powder, mayonnaise, and olive oil. His name for it is Yummy Glue, and sometimes, Tasti-Paste.

They Might Be Giants
In the midst of recording their latest, can't say much except there seems to be some funky Linnell shit in the mix.

Guess who's disappointed by the new Gorillaz? Yeah, while I reviewed it for Soundblab and gave it a 9 out of 10, that's because, while I don't like it all that much, I do recognize it is a good album...one that does not really appeal to me.
what wrong me.
Review here.

I also reviewed the new (and pretty awesome, Dan Bejar-less) album from the New Pornographers, Whiteout Conditions. HERE! THE REVIEW IS HERE!

Mother Feather are in the studio* recording the follow up to their 2015 self-titled debut. Spoilers: it might be my favorite album of 2017.

I'll be reviewing the new Drew McDowall album, Unnatural Channel, due out 5/27.

Finally, exactly eleven years ago today, the music video Ray Zablocki and I did for Nine Inch Nails' "Every Day Is Exactly The Same" went up on YouTube. Since then, it's garnered over 2.6 million views and thousands of comments referring to either porpoises**, faggots***, and the fact that the audio and video quality is that of a mud-smeared ass.
Well.
Ray went back and gave the whole thing a slap**** and now it looks fantastic. You can watch it here. If we get 2.6 million views by 2029, you'll get the original Nine Inch Nails version which we were sent as an example of what not to do.

* THE SAME STUDIO IN WHICH GORILLAZ RECORDED THEIR GREAT NEW ALBUM WHICH I DON'T REALLY LIKE!!!

** Try to open your mouth a little wider when you speak, Trent.

*** Hi, I'm the Internet, I'm constructed of awful, awful people.

**** Or "complete top-to-bottom re-edit", whatever you tech nerds call it.

End of the Month Music Bitchfest - March 2017

Nine Inch Nails

So...the physical components have arrived...
*deep breath*

That hasn't been one major release from Nine Inch Nails since 1989 that hasn't had distinct and exceptional artwork and/or packaging; Gary Talpas, Russell Mills, David Carson, Phillip Graybill, Rob Sheridan...but the physical component for the December 2016 EP Not The Actual Events, created by John Crawford, Corey Holms, and Jeff Anderson, might take the taco as far as style and uniqueness.

First, you get a black, plastic wrapped envelope in the mail. On it is a warning label:

Inside are six sheets of cardstock preceded by a transparent photograph of Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross with their eyes scratched out. The first five sheets each correspond to a song on the EP, the sixth is a credits page. Unlike every Nine Inch Nails album to date, each of which has had a coherent and unifying theme and motif throughout, here each song's lyrics sheet has a completely different art style, look, and feel, allowing for deeper understanding of each individual song and reflecting the song itself: 'Branches/Bones' is concise and brutal, clocking in at just over a minute and a half; its lyrics are set in the center of the page in a tightly packed rectangle, every word cordoned off by a neat slash*, 'Dear World,' with its sluggish, affected verses and clear, clean chorus has a separate font and layout for each, the former garbled and layered over itself, the latter spaced neatly on lines like notes on a musical staff, 'She's Gone Away' is the sequel to 1994's 'Reptile', a point pounded home not only by snippets of 'Reptile' lyrics lurking in the lyrics tab of the mp3 version of the track, but by the fact that the font on the sheet is the same from The Downward Spiral and are actually superimposed over the lyrics sheet for 'Reptile', the vocals on 'The Idea Of You' are obscured by a jagged, looping guitar, Dave Grohl's barbaric drums, and the fact that Trent Reznor CAN'T STOP WHISPERING, the lyrics sheet, while typed clearly in black ink on white (or whitish) cardstock are distorted; missing letters, sliced in half, printed backwards, making it nearly indecipherable, and the closer, 'Burning Bright (Field On Fire)', which find Reznor screaming at the empty, howling center of the universe as he explodes is portrayed as a solid, vertical line of text, a battering ram, a blazing pillar of defiance.
Oh and everything is coated in a fine patina of black dust that gets all over your hands.
Singular.
And weird.
And filthy.
More pictures than you would EVER NEED TO SEE here.

And, in the world of wild, unfounded rumors related to NIN, Rob Sheridan, former art director and member of Nine Inch Nails side project, How To Destroy Angels, has been posting tiny snippets of video footage from the 'Hurt' live visuals processed with the distinct VHS/glitch filter that defined the motif of HTDA's first LP, Welcome oblivion.

Does it mean anything?

Of course it does: new HTDA this year, culminating with a double headlining tour of HTDA opening for NIN with Reznor, his wife, and their 18 children as backing band a la the Brady Bunch.

Obviously.

Or, Rob is bored.

STAY TUNED!!!

Beck
"Beck"** has set a release date for his STILL-AS-YET-UNTITLED follow up to Morning Phase. You ready?
"Spring 2017".
You fucking space alien...
Oh, and it's ten tracks.
Three of which are out.
One of which has been out for two years this June.
Beck...I feel as if you are doing this wrong.
Anyway, clock's ticking now, motherfucker, because you've set an IRONCLAD DATE...uh...SPAN OF THREE MONTHS in which to release this album! I mean it's not like he can change the release window, right?
Beck's new album, Not Really A Thing, which consists of ten tracks totaling about 40 minutes will be out late 2015, no, wait, November 2016...ah, spring 2017. For real. Totally. Pre-order soon.

Checked out the new Depeche Mode, Spirit. First third sounds so naive and wide eyed, it's hard to believe it's coming from a bunch of guys in their fifties. Have they even heard of Bono? He's been doing the political thing for decades and there is still evil and poverty and famine. But....maybe...if Depeche Mode and U2 team up...!!!!!!
It's like they heard Radiohead's 'Burn The Witch' and were like, "Yeah! But we can do it worse! And for longer!!!"
After these groundbreaking anthems of truth and rebellion (available on sale now at your local Best Buy) comes 'You Move', a track 30-something liberals can fuck to and feel edgy while doing so.
Musically, it's sounds like Depeche Mode. Fans of Depeche Mode will enjoy that while people who are not fans of Depeche Mode will enjoy that less.
As usual, Gore's solo effort ('Eternal', not 'Fail'), is the most compelling and interesting track here, but 'Cover Me' does have some nice dark synths and cool progressions that allow you to ignore its banal lyrics. Otherwise, meh.
To be completely frank with you, my own spirit is weak*** from all these useless petitions and cries for impeachment...via Twitter. The only way Bono or Gahan or whoever the fuck are going to really change things is if they obtain an assault rifle (from a gun show) and, literally, kill every one of the evil motherfuckers in power. Quite honestly, I think there are enough musicians out there to make a difference if each one simply targets one monster.
If Bono shot Trump point blank in the face, I would probably not delete the next U2 album that forces its way onto my devices.
Probably.
Maybe.
What's the single sound like?
Is there watery guitar?
Oh.
Hm.

Gorillaz! Everything Gorillaz! So excited!
And, on the next breath, I have some concerns. When Gorillaz came out in 2001, it was all about them, this weird collection of cartoons making an album****. There were a few guest stars, but this was the Gorillaz. As time went on, they did less and less tracks on their own. Demon Dayz had eight without guests, Plastic Beach had five, The Fall doesn't count, which leads us to Humanz, which features one track without a guest artist. Five of the fourteen songs have been released and, for the most part, there's a lot less Gorillaz than I would like for a band that puts out one album every decade and a half. Who do they think they are, Cake? If Damon Albarn wants to host some sort of festival of cool, underground artists, why doesn't he just...oh...nevermind, he did. Well, okay, if he already fucking did, then why not just make, you know, a Gorillaz album...of Gorillaz songs...performed by Gorillaz?
Anyway, I'll just focus on what I've experienced rather than what I have yet to experience, yes?
Humanz was announced with a brand new amazing video (because, obviously it's amazing, all their visuals are amazing) which is a combination of Scooby Doo, H.P. Lovecraft, and Murdoc floating, naked, through space. Everything one needs.
The four songs that were released are...not amazing. They all have their moments (mostly thanks to 2D, also Vince Staples verses on 'Ascension' are dark as fuck even though his voice is piercing and petulant in all the wrong ways) but nothing is grabbing me. Granted, I just got these and need to spend lots more time with them, but I've found, as far as Gorillaz go, I really do either like tracks from the first listen or not, there's never really been any period of "growing on me", na mean? First thoughts: 'We Got The Power' (the album closer) is happy and bouncy and a rallying cry with as much depth and dynamism as a bread sandwich, Popcaan's whining, autotuned vocals on 'Saturnz Barz' are nigh unbearable. 'Andromeda' is the stand out as it's better than the other four (even if it does sound a bit like a more soulful rendition of 'Doncamatic').
Humanz is out on April 28th in a myriad of formats, including a 2-CD deluxe edition with six extra tracks (all featuring guest artists...grrrr), and a $350, 14-disc, super deluxe vinyl edition which comes with each track on its own record with an alternate version as the b-side, a 54-page art book, and a handjob. From Murdoc.
I'll be reviewing the full album on Soundblab (and here probably) once review copies have shipped.

I'll also be reviewing the new New Pornographers album, Whiteout Conditions, coming 4/7. Some predictions: Neko Case will be the gem she always is while I'll only be able to barely tolerate the three or so Dan Bejar tracks. Three or four of the tracks will be added to my NP playlist, one of which will be truly amazing and make me cry. 

After last month's brush with Transparent, I decided to wander over into the world of Psychic TV. I was not ready. I found that listening to too much made me want to dance and/or join a cult and/or straight up kill someone. If you want a pretty good picture of their mission statement, check out their cover of 'Good Vibrations', which features a spoken word moment that makes things a lot more Manson-y.*****

And, lastly, after attending the Come Together event last weekend at PS1 MoMA to obtain a copy of the Alessandro Cortini/Merzbow collaboration******, I was introduced to the music of Mitski. Might give that a try this month.

* But its variant, which features a bizarre mockery of that same nice, neat shape, reflects the savagery of the track.

** Read: "Capitol Records"

*** smrt. clevr. gud.

**** Yes. I know they're not real. I just dig the aesthetic and the fact that Damon Albarn is a fantastically multitalented dude who had been held back as the lead singer of Blur for so long and that this was a chance for him to do whatever the fuck he wanted.

***** Charles, not Marilyn.

****** By reading that clause, you are now a hipster.

A review of Zos Kia/Coil's "Transparent"

"We've been witnessing your many and varied forms of control today. They're very effective...very pretty." These are the first (and most intelligible) words one hears at the start of Transparent, one of the very first recordings of what would later evolve into Coil. This is not a good album, or, at times, a listenable album, but it is perfect for what it is. Recorded in various live situations (and one studio) over the course of 1983, what was originally a cassette has been restored* and released. This is raw and pure and explosive, the soul and seed of Coil.

Zos Kia was comprised of John Gosling (Psychic TV, Mekon), Mia Kent (the real person on which Helena Bonham Carter is based), John Balance, and Peter "Sleazy" Christopherson, and it was artfuck without compromise or pretension or artifice. Track one, 'Sicktone' features John Balance murdering a violin, 'Truth' is a bit of a precursor to PTV's 'Neurology', 'Silence and Secrecy' is, in Balance's own words, "a tape of cicadas amplified really loud with wolf noises". The female vocalist, Min Kent, adds something perhaps lacking in a lot of later Coil; a sick softness, like the skin of rotten fruit. She sounds like a drowning victim who's resigned to her fate and her ear-splitting shrieks on “Poisons"** will chill your blood.

Will you ever play this at a high school prom, probably not, although it would be remembered. Is this something you’ll throw on to unwind on the drive home, no. It's not even for fans of Psychic TV, Coil, or Throbbing Gristle; it's for true worshippers, devotees, cultists of what these people created. It’s also perfect in its destructive capability and raw, world-ending scum. To say it’s just noise would be 100% accurate and yet a complete dismissal of what’s on offer. If I could, I’d give it a 1 and a 10. But I can’t, so I’m giving it a 10, perhaps the most solipsistic 10 ever, but, still, I stand by it.

* As much as one can restore a shitty cassette from the early 80's

** Although said shrieks are actually part of the previous track, 'Violations', a live and renamed version of Zos Kia's 'Rape' which also features Coil's 'Here to Here (Double Headed Secret)' as a sound bed, all featured on the original version of this album. You got all that?

End of the Month Music Bitchfest - February 2017

Nine Inch Nails
While Reznor's army of slouched and defeated fans wait for Firebrand Media/Gnarlywood LLC/SATAN HIMSELF to fulfil their fucking promise of a "first week of January" delivery for the "physical component" of the Not The Actual Events EP*, I forgot to mention last month that I'm seeing these mooks in July at the Panorama Festival. Let's try and avoid "The Hand That Feeds", shall we Trent? As appropriate as it may be, there are a bunch of other songs that would work just as well or better, namely "Letting You", "Survivalism", "Capital G", "Beginning of the End"...actually, most of Yero Zero has become frighteningly relevant.
Moving on.

Beck
NEW ALBUM COMING SOON! NO TITLE, TRACKLIST OR RELEASE DATE!
BUT! SOME SHIT HE DID IN 2011 FOR I AM NUMBER FOUR APPEARED OUT OF NOWHERE!
LISTEN HERE!!!

Eels
Bobby Jr. died.

They Might Be Giants
Total silence.
Creeping numbness.

St. Vincent
St. Vincent** put out a Mixtape Delivery Service for Prince and I checked that out. While it's always nice to hear people talking about the Purple Banana, I could have done with a few deeper cuts, or, you know, something from the last twenty years.

As a result of playing Watch Dogs 2 and the horrors occurring in the world, I've been listening to a lot of electronica. Squarepusher and Plaid mostly. It's been a lovely (and distracting) blend of blippy sharp cold circuitry, warm mellifluous watery washes, and combinations of each to varying degrees, and it's been very helpful. I've curated a three and a half hour playlist spanning their combined discographies and I recommend you do the same.

Next, I'll be seeing Garbage (YAY!) and Blondie (meh) at the Beacon Theater (yuck) in August (yarg)***. I'll be sure to tell you about that...in six months. Get ready.

Also, Marilyn Manson forgot to put out his new album****. Probably better that way...

Finally, I'll be reviewing the primordial ooze from which Coil sprang AKA the 2017 reissue of Transparent. Look for a review of Soundblab in the coming days. Oh boy is this not for casual listeners...or maybe even people with functioning ears...


* IT'S JUST A FUCKING ENVELOPE FULL OF SOOT AND FUCKING LYRICS SHEETS YOU FUCKING IDIOTS. HOW DO YOU FUCK THAT UP?

** Whose new album, due out in a few months, might just be called "CVRTAIN".

*** Ball sweat. Ignore me.

**** I'm going to try and get away without ever saying the name of the album because it might be the silliest thing he's ever uttered...I think, I 'd have to go back through those last three steaming piles before The Pale Emperor to be sure, but I won't! And you cannot make me.

Watch Dogs 2 + Resident Evil 7 = Resident Dogs 9

SPOILERS FOR WATCH DOGS 2 AND RESIDENT EVIL 7!!!

I didn't play a lot of video games over the past year and half. After Arkham Knight came out, that was kind of it for me. I was looking forward to stuff and I bought stuff, but for some reason, I looked at these games (Fallout 4, Uncharted 4, Rise of the Tomb Raider, The Witcher 3, etc.) and said, these are going to take way too long so I'll play them some other time. After I beat the shit out of AK (cough 240% completion cough), I had "nothing". So, I picked up some of these procedural indie games I'd kept hearing about; games like Spelunky, Rogue Legacy, Enter the Gungeon, and, lastly, The Binding of Isaac.

With those first three, I played a lot, but got to a point in each where I just wasn't good enough to proceed, but, with Isaac, I dug my heels in. Over the course of six or so months, I put...so much fucking time...into that game. I just recently stopped playing it (but will pick it back up as soon as Afterbirth plus comes out for PS4) and picked up Watch Dogs 2, which I finished in a few weeks.

Overall, it's kind of like all the reviews said: it was more fun than its predecessor, mainly because the protagonist wasn't talking like Nolan's Batman the whole time, and because of the Jumper and drone as hack tools. I got pretty sick of trying to hop from camera to camera in the first game, only to find out I'd fucked up somewhere along the way and had to restart. Anyway, I found myself not really giving a shit at some point and just rushed through to wrap everything up. The ending was a let down, but then again, I can't think of one open world game that doesn't have a non-climax.* I tried to play the game as stealthy as possible (I only purchased three weapons the whole time; the silenced pistol, silenced assault rifle, and the sniper rifle, but as all the enemies were telepathic, that seldom worked. Honestly, I don't have anything really negative or positive to say about it (maybe because I don't live in San Francisco?). There were some fun moments and some boring, grindy moments. One thing that stood out was the clothing. This is kind of weird, but since the game made such a concerted effort to give Marcus literally thousands of outfit combinations, I found it bizarre that, literally, not one other main character wore more than one outfit the whole game. Pretty odd choice...

All that said, I'd play a third one if were set in New York with the same amount of (apparent) detail that went into San Fran. I'm a sucker for that, hence why I purchased and played through True Crime: New York.
While I was wrapping up WD2, Resident Evil 7: Biohazard came out. Now, this was something I was actively looking forward to, even though I was pensive about the switch to first person.** I'd played all versions of the demo and even gotten the "good" ending.*** As much as people hated RE6, I enjoyed a lot of it and thought they did an incredibly brave thing by having a game with three intermingling campaigns, even if two of them were less "survival horror" and more "machine gun murder factory". But, anyway.
I sat down with RE7 and played through it over the course of three or four sessions, clocking in at about 20 hours on my first playthrough. I noted that there were trophies and rewards***** for beating it in under four hours, a feat which I thought was reserved for only the most Japanese of speedrunners******...until I watched a dude (a Canadian!!!!) beat the game in about 90 minutes. With the Canuck as my guide, I managed to sneak out in just over three and a half hours. I'm sure I've mentioned this before but: even though I've been a gamer since I was 6, I am not very good at video games.
I've really enjoyed this game. The smaller scale and return to a focus on dread and resource management feels like a fantastic return to the good old days of the fist three RE games. And all the little nods are just delightful...that fucking Crank...
Plus! So many questions...why the fuck is Chris Redfield working for Umbrella now? Who made Eveline and why? Who was Ethan on the phone with at the beginning of the game? Where the fuck did that little shit Lucas go? When did that little moment with Jack, Zoe, and Ethan fit into the story and why did Ethan not remember it until just then and how come it seemed to have no impact on Ethan, the Bakers, or the game itself?
As of the end of last week, I have platinumed the game, beating it on Madhouse, beating it in under four hours, beating without healing more than three times, and without opening the goddamn item box more than the three times the game forces one to. Four playthroughs and I have owned this game utterly. I don't do that often...
I'm curious about the next iteration of Resident Evil. I'm not sure I want to wait four and a half years for the next one, seeing as this one was a much smaller affair and can beat beaten in 90 minutes. And, when it does come out, are they going to stick with the sludgy dread of RE7 or are they going to try and make an FPS with zombies...which they already did...with lackluster results...?
Anyway, now that I've finished RE7 (and moved on to the second DLC) and I don't think I'll be able to convince my wife to play it, thinking of getting into either the new Tomb Raider or maybe Final Fantasy XV, which will be my very first FF game. Aside from chocobos, anything else I need to know?   

* Except for Red Dead Redemption, I believe that might be my favorite ending of any video game I've ever played.

** Not a big first person guy. And first person in a horror game feels a bit cheaty, like movies that pelt you with jump scares. Jump scares aren't clever, they're overused.

*** DIRTY COIN, MOTHERFUCKAAAAAAA!!!!****

**** TOTAL LETDOWN, MOTHERFUCKAAAAAAA!!!!

***** Oh Christ do I love those post-game unlocks...

****** KNIFE ONLY NO DEATH TOFU RUN, MOTHER FUCKAAAAAAA!!!!!!

End of the Month Bitchfest - January 2017

It's funny how pointless all this seems right now. Like discussing one's favorite book of short stories while the library is on fire, trying to raise my voice to be heard over the ceiling collapsing so that I can validate my thesis about the writer's intentions behind capitalizing all the pronouns or their lack of adjectives. My thinking is that this country has endured over two hundred years and that four bad years can't do that much irreparable damage, can it? But this seems like real evil. I'm shocked and infuriated and numb while at the same time feeling completely impotent. All these petitions and witty remarks and marches and cries to release this document or investigate this claim seem kind of useless until something actually happens.

Ugh.

Fuck.

Anyway. 

The new Gorillaz ('Hallelujah Money') is dark and creepy and scary and Trump and everything is horrible. Why did I think they were going to be a fun little escape from everything to come? Idiot... One thing is for sure: Benjamin Clementine looks like a combination of Tony Todd and Mads Mikkelsen. 

The full Patriots Day score was (almost apologetically) released on the 13th. I was shocked to find it's only about an hour. The whole thing is a bit of a music sandwich with the soft and beautiful bread, and tense, fearful meat.  The deep, pulsing alarm of 'Escape' will make you want to stop listening it's so huge and threatening. The epic, dread-soaked sprawl of 'The Night Drive' is twelve minutes of nerves. And 'The Place You Are Right Now' (and its mirror, 'Long Shadows on the Street'), which travels from delicate and warm to a jagged electronic chase and back again might be the best work Reznor and Ross have done for a film since they started eight years ago on The Social Network.
 This is the most traditional score the two have ever composed, as far as that term can be applied to them.

A review of Nine Inch Nails' "The Fragile: Deviations 1"

\\

When The Fragile was released in 1999, it was 25 songs, clocking in at almost two hours. Even back then, Trent Reznor said that there was more material, in various states, which made up about one more full disc of music. Around the tenth anniversary of the album, he started hinting at a deluxe reissue, complete with unreleased tracks and a 5.1 mix, created by himself and long time studio partner, Alan Moulder. Since then, he'd mention it occasionally; how he'd "just stumbled over some old bits and pieces or demos", how they were "working on it", etc, but nothing ever came to fruition.

At the very end of December 2016, along with the "definitive editions" of Broken, The Downward Spiral, and The Fragile*, as well as a brand new, 5-track EP entitled Not The Actual Events, Reznor released The Fragile: Deviations 1, a 37-track, all instrumental version of the 1999 release, featuring forty minutes of unreleased music**. These unreleased tracks range from completely finished pieces simply missing their vocals to demos and outlines of songs that, for whatever reason, were never completed. The entire two and a half hour journey of Deviations 1 is the definition of epic, and might be the most Nine-Inch-Nails-fan-centric release Reznor has ever unleashed. That said, it is not perfect. It is not the deluxe, cancer-curing, ultimate reissue fans have been teased with since 2009. It is something huge and strange and complicated.

For the most part, the original tracks from the album haven't undergone much transformation, with the exception of "Somewhat Damaged", "Ripe (With Decay)", "The Mark Has Been Made" and a few others, which feature some added elements here and there, and, as for the new material, it's a mixed bag. Tracks like "Missing Places" and "Feeders" don't really stand on their own and found spots on the original album as transitions, while "Taken" and "Last Heard From" seem to be little more than demos. Then there's "The March" and what was originally called "Hello, Everything Is Not OK", the former which ended up as "Skin of a Drum" from Saul Williams' The Inevitable Rise and Liberation of Niggy Tardust!, and the latter which became "10 Miles High". The three most intriguing tracks are "Not What It Seems Like"***, which builds on a simple drum loop and, through subtle layers of sound, becomes something triumphant, "White Mask" which sounds like an homage to Coil****, and "Was It Worth It?", which has an almost startlingly bright feel thanks to some straight up 80's synths in its chorus. That last one appears to only be missing lyrics.

I wanted everything. I wanted a seven-disc release with the original album in 5.1 and all previously released material (remixes, b-sides, etc.) also remastered and in 5.1. I wanted all the video content: those tiny little trailers, both of those MTV Fragility tour specials, all the music videos*****, And All That Could Have Been and its accompanying acoustic special and everything else in blazing high definition with a picture so sharp I cut my fucking eyeballs. I did not get that. I got forty minutes of new instrumentals, twelve minutes of which I really dig, and a vague promise in the form of that little number "1" appearing after the word "deviations". Is there going to be one more? Eight more? Is it going to come out this year? This decade? My logic tells me that Reznor wants to be done with this fucking thing as much as me, to just wrap things up and never have to talk about it again, but my logic also tells me that Reznor is a busy, busy man with four children, two new Nine Inch Nails albums set for release this year, and an unquenchable desire to score everything forever.

Anyway. If you're a foaming-at-the-mouth Nine Inch Nials fan or just love the everloving shit out of The Fragile, hop on over to the revamped nin.com store and pay $80 for The Fragile: Deviations 1, for which you will receive an instat wav download of the entire thing along with a fantastic digital booklet which contains some unused artwork from David Carson's original concept for the album as well as a four-LP vinyl of the record, coming this spring. 

* All meticulously restored and remastered versions of the original, vinyl releases of the albums

** If you ignore the Apple Music release of The Fragile (Instrumentals) from June of last year, which featured three of those aforementioned unreleased tracks

*** Which could be a reference/counterpoint to "Just Like You Imagined" from the original record

**** And since Jhonn Balance and Sleazy Christopherson were lurking around nothing studios recording Backwards at the time, who knows?

***** "Starfuckers, Inc." and the original "The Day the World Went Away" video included

Year in Bitch - 2016

Oh, 2016. You fucking, cocksucking, whoremouthed piece of cum-drenched shit. While everyone else has this feeling that now that the calendar has slipped from 2016 to 2017 everything will be okay, I'm going to sprinkle a little piss on that particular idea right now.
First off, January 1st, 2017 is just another day. Time doesn't care how we delineate it. Time's just a concept anyway, so that's pointless. Secondly, and more importantly, we're going to keep losing the people we love and respect and worship. Not because life is unfair or your idea of god hates you, but because people who are awesome and established and have spent decades creating amazing things that change and define and improve our lives are getting older, getting cancer, and getting dead. We were told when Bowie died* and when Prince died, but, here's the thing, there's no way to know when the next Prince or Bowie will be born. And, more salt in the wound: Justin Bieber isn't going to die any time soon. Kim Kardashian isn't going to either. The good ones, the legends, are going to keep dying while we're left here to mourn them and to drown in the remaining sea of mediocrity.
Bob Dylan and Paul McCartney are going to die some time soon.
As are Mel Brooks, Steve Martin and Bill Murray.
While Kevin James, Katy Perry, Kevin Hart, Larry the Cable Guy, Iggy Azalea, and Tyler fucking Perry aren't going to die for a very, very long time.
Because life is unfair and god hates us.

That said, let's dig in!

Musically, most of my year was spent in a state of shock. Bowie and Prince, two of my favorite artists, who, in my eyes, were actually immortal, as in literally defying the effects of time itself, gone. And there's already been shitty "Best Ofs" released. Aside from those two, massive blows to the very idea of music, Beck released a song, They Might Be Giants released a song. Nothing from Eels. Nothing from Cake. Nothing from St. Vincent. Then, right at the end, we get a literal deluge: two scores and a new EP from Reznor PLUS (part of) that long rumored Fragile deluxe edition we've been promised for SIX THOUSAND YEARS. And it wasn't enough.

Anyway, primarily I listed to Blackstar, the debut from Mother Feather, the new Radiohead, and all that Q4 Reznor/Ross goodness**. More of the year was spent reading and listening to and seeing comedians I love. Michael Ian Black, Amy Schumer, Louie C.K., Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, David Cross, Patton Oswalt, Jim Gaffigan, and Dylan Moran to name a few. I also rewatched the bulk of Reno 911!; not a fantastic show, but populated, for the most part, with fantastic comedic actors. I also spent a large portion of the year creating music, which might never be heard by anyone.

All that to say: I have a very small list.

Best Song of 2016

'Blackstar' by David Bowie

This was my most played track and most viewed music video. It is, in my mind, the best track David Bowie had released since 2003's "Bring Me The DIsco King". While I'm still let down we didn't get a deeper look into this world, Bowie was never one to spoon feed things to people, and I can appreciate that.

Album of the Year 2016

Mother Feather by Mother Feather

You've heard everything I have to say about Mother Feather. You either get it, or you remain in the dark. No judgement.

Most Anticipated Release of 2017

The new Gorillaz album

I was thinking about the new Beck, but, from what's been heard, it seems like some sort of retro-backlash against the lack of mass appeal and radio singles from Morning Phase***. The third single ("Up All Night") is in both the new FIFA game and a watch commercial, and sounds like a combination of "Can't Feel My Face" and every other piece of Mindless Shit Pop from the past five years. Beck can't need money that badly, can he? But the album's never coming out, so we'll never know for sure.
That's why I'm giving it to whatever the fuck Albarn and Hewlett come up with. We're going to need some musical innovation and cartoon shenanigans in the new year, and these two are the ones to deliver it. I could also handle a double album. If you're reading this Damon.

Most Anticipated Release of 2018****

The new, full length album from Nine Inch Nails

First thought FIRST FUCKING THOUGHT when I hit the new nin.com and saw the anouncement of a brand new, 5-track EP was: "well, fuck, we're not getting a full length album for another fucking year."
I could teach Sartre a few things about pessimism.

Hopes For 2017 Which Have Yet To Be Fucked, Crushed And/Or Killed

• I'm still holding out hope for Dial-A-Song 2017, although the Johns have made no announcements yet and 2017 starts...now, so...shit
• Maybe some new Eels? 
• For the new Beck to be less fluffy than these three singles have indicated 
• For the new St. Vincent to be a quarter as impressive and elegant as her last one
• Prince/Bowie reveal it was all a hoax and that their triple-album collabo is available for download now.
• I don't know...either for less awfulness or to just go completely numb, fast.

* Here's a summation of David Bowie's life and career from my particular and narrow viewpoint.

** Before The Flood OST, Patriots Day OST, Not The Actual Events EP, and The Fragile: Deviations 1.

*** Yes, I know that this new one was written before Morning Phase, but time isn't a thing for Beck, obviously.

**** Yes, I also know that Trent Reznor announced on Beats1 that Nine Inch Nails will have not one, but "two new, major works" under the Nine Inch Nails umbrella, but, well, Trent Reznor announces a lot of things.

A review of Nine Inch Nails' "Not The Actual Events"

Trent Reznor seems to have decided that 2017 will be one of his active years. Along with definitive reissues of all of Nine Inch Nails' core releases on vinyl and high resolution audio, he has promised "two new, major works" from Nine Inch Nails. Then there's his and Atticus Ross' score for Peter Berg's Patriots Day (official release in a few weeks), the upcoming Ken Burns doc about the Vietnam War (due in Q3), and who the hell knows what else. But, before all this, Reznor started things off by fulfilling his promise from last year by releasing new Nine Inch Nails music in 2016, namely, Not The Actual Events, a 21-minute, 5-track EP.

Reznor says the story and concept for NTAE originated from a few years' worth of musical experiments and the idea of directly referencing back to a track of his from the mid-90's. He says it's impenetrable and unfriendly. He says it should be played loud. Some of the lyrics here feel like automatic writing, stream of consciousness. Reznor's voice is affected on some tracks, nearly unintelligible on others, and, on the opener "Branches/Bones", half of the song's lyrics aren't sung. Maybe we're supposed to...feel them...? Also, the fourth track, "The Idea of You", sounds a bit like electronic Metallica.

It's dense and it's brutal, but I can't tell if the fucking thing is good. I haven't stopped listening to it since it came out, but that means nothing; I'm a Nine Inch Nails fan and that's my function. I can say that I actively enjoy "Branches/Bones" and that, when the chorus of "Burning Bright" kicks in, I feel something explode inside of myself. But that's me. Not The Actual Events is on all streaming services as well as vinyl and some other mysterious format Reznor is teasing people with, so give it a listen and decide for yourself.

A side note: One of the most intriguing aspects of the EP (for me) is its artwork, which is identical to that of NIN's 2002 release, Still.

Still was a 9-track collection of acoustic interpretations of earlier works and leftover tracks from the Fragile sessions and it sounds absolutely fuckall like this new EP. Which begs the question: is NTAE to whatever's to come from Nine Inch Nails next year as Still was to The Fragile? Are we getting a new double album? Are the tracks on NTAE alternate versions? Also: who killed John F. Kennedy? Why is Hitler? Are 23 and 42 related?
In 2017, we shall find our answers.