A review of Saul Williams' "MartyrLoserKing"

Saul Williams is a rapper like David Bowie was a singer.

MartyrLoserKing is the follow up to William's accessibly dark and dancey Volcanic Sunlight, and it's his heaviest and most intricate release since 2007's The Inevitable Rise and Liberation of Niggy Tardust.
There's still a lot of anger in Williams' words and music, specifically on tracks like 'Roach Eggs' and 'Down For Some Ignorance', but it's not thrown, blindly, at the listener; he won't be dismissed as hysterical, his arguments are pertinent and well stated.

Standouts include 'Ashes', one of Williams' darkest works to date, the juxtaposition within 'The Bear/Coltan As Cotton', the first half with its soaring openness, the second with its high speed, bladed slam poetry, the pulsing, hypnotic 'Horn of a Clock-Bike', the revolution of 'Burundi' (featuring Emily Kokal of Warpaint), and the oddly-Radiohead feel of "No Different", which feels like a sorrowful prayer.

If all rappers were brilliant, impassioned, and recondite, then Saul Williams wouldn't stand out. As it stands, he remains one of the most thoughtful and intelligent artists out there and continues to evolve the arts of rap, hip hop, and poetry, all at the same time.

The Year of Dial-A-Song Wraps Up

More than 52 brand new songs in one year. The scope of this is still messing with me. Some bands don't release that many songs in a career, but these lunatics did it in ONE YEAR.
Jesus.
And what's more impressive is that almost all of them are great, not just good or passable. It's ridiculous.
True, about a fifth of them are less than two minutes and not one was over three and a half minutes, but when it comes to the music of They Might Be Giants, it's never about the length of the songs, but the depth.

After a short tour in the UK (starting January 27th), the release of their 19th studio album, Phone Power, and, finally, a month touring the US (starting March 17th), the band plans to go dark until 2017, enjoying a well-earned rest...or recording material for their 2017 Dial-A-Song project...we'll find out which in a year.

It was truly an honor to be a part of this experiment, and it's never been more excellent to be a fan of They Might Be Giants.

And now...QUANTIFICATION!

Favorite Line
I was ready to give Favorite Line to 'ECNALUBMA' pretty much the first time I heard it..."help me out, I can't seem to get this window open / never mind, now it's open / I think my hand is broken" and, while stuff came close ('Trouble, Awful, Devil, Evil' with "the weight of my insensate body draws all the bedclothes down with it / unknowing, ecstatically lowering into a bottomless pit surrounded by / trouble awful devil evil"), nothing topped that for me. Then, three weeks before the end, 'I'll Be Haunting You' brings a damn strong contender with "my absence has been weaponized, the empty sockets where my eyes are swiveling to recognize and pin you down". 
Man. 

I think it still has to go to 'ECNALUBMA', maybe because I've been hearing it for most of the year and I stop to appreciate it every time; the awful little story it tells in less than the length of a tweet and about ten seconds. 

Top 10 Dial-A-Songs (in no particular order)*

'Unpronounceable' - for its uncanny familiar-at-first-listen sound, a literal instant classic

'Let Me Tell You About My Operation' - for its ability to make the listener instantly jitterbug

'ECNALUBMA' - for its deification of the (over?) importance of emergency medical vehicles, the title is just a cherry on the sundae

'Underwater Woman' - for its jagged edges telling a story as sad and desperate as its lyrics

'I’m A Coward' - for its delicious contradiction

'I’ll Be Haunting You' - for its characters and the lives they led

'Thinking Machine' - for its perfect manifestation of a They Might Be Giants song, and for Ansel Adams' mouth

'Music Jail, Pt 1 & 2' - for its avalanche of raucous energy, and for its brilliant turn

'Daylight' - for its sorrowful, hazy grace

'Trouble, Awful, Devil, Evil' - for its dark, unsettling beauty

HONORABLE MENTIONS

'Whole Lot Of Glean' - for its self reference and Beatles impersonation

'Definition of Good' - for being the most adorable thing ever

'Madame, I Challenge You To A Duel' - for its decorum and the tale it tells

'It Said Something' - for recapturing the glory of Apollo 18

'Summer Breeze' - for finally fulfilling its destiny 

* These are for the songs, and not their videos. There are links because this is the Internet, whether you like it or not.

The Year In Bitch - 2015

A note: 2015 was completely owned by They Might Be Giants. Go forth knowing this.
There was other stuff though.

Biggest Surprises

Oh Christ it's in my HEEEAAAD!
Meghan Trainor. Meghan goddamn Trainor. Yes, I know it's poppy, sickly sweet, bubble-gum-in-your-hair drivel, but, guys...it's catchy, and I enjoyed it. Granted, I listened to the album, Title, about a dozen times over the course of a week or so and then kind of forgot it existed, but that was a damn fun week.

Aphex Twin's Musical Bukakke
Biggest surprise of the year was Richard D. James, after recently returning to the world with Syro back in 2014, dropping over a hundred unreleased Aphex Twin tracks (over eight fucking hours of never before heard music), onto the Internet for free. You know what's weird? Even after this ejaculation of new Aphex, I'm a bit surprised there wasn't more. Because I'm a greedy whorehole of consumerism.

The new Blur and how much I enjoyed it when compared to all other Blur albums
Usually, when Damon Albarn releases a Blur album or some side project that isn't Gorillaz, I check it out and then take whichever tracks I feel could encompass a Gorillaz album and then add them to a playlist called "This Could Be A Gorillaz Album". I don't hate Blur or any of Albarn's side projects (his solo debut was one of my favorite records of 2014), but I like Gorillaz more. I've read that it kind of pisses off Albarn that this thing that started out as a joke ended up being the thing that everyone in the fucking world latched onto, but, hey, he's getting to do whatever he wants, creatively, with whomever he wants to do it, so he can't be that mad. But, I dug a lot of Magic Whip. Not as much as I dug Plastic Beach or Demon Days, but, whatever. I was surprised by how much I liked it and that's why it's here, Dad.

David Bowie releases the best song he's done in twenty years
Not since Outside had I been more excited for a new Bowie album. The promise held within that one, epic title track...the possibilities were limitless...

Telepathe defies the music industry by releasing their debut album
After chewing their way through miles of record label bullshit over a period of years, they finally release Destroyer, and it's as dark and smoky and sweaty and throbbing as a club in the 90's.

Marilyn Manson emerges, slightly, from up his own ass
Saying Manson's The Pale Emperor is "his best album in years" is a deceptive, little compliment. Another way to phrase that could be, "The Pale Emperor is his first album in years that wasn't hot, wet garbage." Manson's The Pale Emperor is his first album in years that is not hot, wet garbage. Let's see if Mr. Warner can keep inching his way out of his own asshole. We're rooting for you, you pasty monarch, you!

Prince releases his 38th and 39th studio albums and they're both really solid
You'd think this purple sparkplug would have run out of ideas by now. Nope. That second one, HitNRun Phase Two, is a rock solid 70's funk gem.

ESKA
Seriously, you've never heard anything like her. 

Biggest Disappointments

Beck releases a really excellent new song...with no plans to release the album from which that song was taken

Questionable grammar aside, this was bittersweet. "Dreams" was a perfect summer song and introduced a shift from the reflective, golden syrup of Morning Phase to something a bit more active. I was stoked, until the weeks turned into months and he kept schtum about any new album plans. At one point, on his official site, he posted a picture of a mixing board with the caption "back to work". He might as well have posted a picture of a sack of potatoes with the same caption. Beck, you know I dig your stylo, but stop fucking with me, it's bumming me out. 

Not even a wet fart from Trent Reznor

See above. 

Although, I should know by now that he's big on the "calm before the storm" approach to creation. There was not a goddamn thing until the last few weeks of the year, at which point Reznor finally announced "Cargo In The Blood", and that there will be "new NIN music in 2016. And other stuff." Recent photographic evidence has shown him messing about with a Folktek Euphonos Field. Toss that fact in with his previous implementation of their Luminist Garden on the Gone Girl score and I'm ready to go ahead and declare that the new Nine Inch Nails album is going to be good. Quote me, bitches.

David Bowie releases the best song he's done in twenty years...and the album it's on doesn't live up to my own, personal standards

★ is a good album, but it didn't expand upon the world created in "Blackstar". And nothing can be more disappointing than David Bowie releasing an album that doesn't live up to my own, personal standards, right?*

That goddamn awful Bond theme

The theme to a James Bond film is one of its most important elements. To me, more important than the car or gadgets. And, look, I get that Sam Smith has no testicles, that's fine, I was born with only three molars, but you don't invite a man with only three molars to compete in a "Who Has The Most Molars?" contest and invite a man with no testicles to sing a Bond theme. Then again, if I had judged Spectre by its theme, maybe I would have known from first listen that the film was not only going to suck, but that it would also ruin my faith in the Bond franchise.

Cake's continued yet somehow self-important silence

Does continuing to do nothing count as a disappointment? I mean, if they had said, "hey, new, triple album coming in 2015" and nothing happened, that would definitely count as a disappointment, but they continue to do nothing. I mean, can one really be disappointed when a near dead, shit-smelling dog keeps lying around and smelling like shit?

2015 LIVE

So much fucking They Might Be Giants...thirteen shows in one year...I'm not saying I never want to see TMBG live again, but I could take, say, a year or so off from seeing TMBG live again.

Saw John Grant for the first time, and, while it was a great show, it felt a little flat. The album was so multifaceted, I can't imagine recreating the sound with only a handful of players...and he didn't.

Garbage's "20 Years Queer" tour was palpable nostalgia. Shirley Manson is still a fire goddess.

The Bests! Yeah, The Bests!

John Grant's new one, Grey Tickles, Black Pressure was pretty fantastic. It made me reaccept Amanda Palmer as a person, although after a solid month or so of listening to it, I found I needed a break. It was making me a touch bloodthirsty...

But...it's They Might Be Giants. Hands down.
I cannot even begin to sum up how tremendous this year was for They Might Be Giants and for fans of They Might Be Giants. After thirty four years as a band, one could expect standards to be lowered, for the band to, perhaps, phone stuff in occasionally, but, in the face of these expectations, they, instead, released three albums worth of original material in one year, ranging from just plain good to truly excellent.
And, then there were the thirteen (more or less) unique shows at the Music Hall of Williamsburg on the last Sunday of each month. Fans were treated to performances of their first four albums in their entirety (more or less) as well as 2008's The Else, a live showcase of their 17th studio album, Glean, two mind-blowing horn spectaculars, a set of adorable and jittery kids' shows, and even a duo set, the first of its kind in 25 years. Call me spoiled, call me lucky, I'm going to stick with blessed.

And, other than that, nothing else noteworthy happen this year in music.

BITCHWISHLIST 2016
AKA The Future Sucks

For Prince to continue releasing HitNRun albums. Now that Bowie's gone, Beck and Prince have got a lot of work ahead of them...

To get that new Beck album before June? Yes? Gelfling? Friend?

I could deal with some new How to destroy angels. I still consider Welcome oblivion to be one of Reznor's more interesting sonic forays. Oh, and that reissue of...what's it called...The Fragile? Yeah, I could handle that too.

For They Might Be Giants to take the rest of the year off after their UK and US tours and the release of Phone Power. These guys have earned as much R&R as they want.

It's it about time St. Vincent and David Byrne teamed up for a sequel to Love This Giant?

GORILLAZ! FEATURING BECK! AND ST. VINCENT! AND ALL THE OTHER BANDS THAT I LIKE!

For the debut LP from Mother Feather to, literally, destroy the world.

* As Bowie didn't pass away until 2016, I don't feel right including that here, but you'd better fucking believe that that's the first item on my goddamn 2016 Year in Bitch.

Remembering Bowie

I went about David Bowie all wrong.
I was introduced to him, by accident, as a child, when I rented a VHS copy of Labyrinth from Couch Potato video. The cover was awesome, I knew and loved the Muppets, and I'd been to Jim Henson's house, so why wouldn't I rent this? He was the Goblin King. All right. Cool.
In my teens, I was reintroduced to him by Trent Reznor, specifically when I heard Reznor on the "I'm Afraid Of Americans"* remix. "David Bowie? ...oh, you mean the Goblin King, yeah, I know him..." The fact that he was friends with Trent Reznor (with whom I was at the height of my obsession at the time) made him cool in my eyes.
I repeat: the fact that David Bowie was friends with Trent Reznor made David Bowie cool in my eyes.
You see what I mean? All wrong.
Soon after, I saw Se7en, and did some homework when I heard Bowie again, moaning and hissing on "Heart's Filthy Lesson". I discovered Outside. 
Things finally started clicking for me in 1999, but neither fast nor hard enough.
My first year of college, a whole bunch of Bowie's earlier work was reissued, from Space Oddity to the first Tin Machine album. The combination of cable Internet, the birth of Napster, and my impecunious status as a college freshman resulted in a lot of stolen, low-quality Bowie music burned, haphazardly, onto CD-Rs. And, even though I had Bowie's full catalog at my fingertips, I still didn't get a lot of it.
Eventually, I did what I should have done years before and sat down with everything. I learned that I loved his earlier work and his later work but was lukewarm on most of the middle of his career, aside from Low. I learned that David Bowie was the Funkiest White Man Alive**. I learned what his wang looked like by watching The Man Who Fell To Earth.
After that, Bowie was just...there, like this musical spirit with a song or album for every mood or feeling. Then, in 2003, he puts out Reality, which closes with "Bring Me The Disco King". After hearing that for the first time, I declared Bowie's career over. If he never recorded another note, that would be fine, because "Disco King" was the perfect end to David Bowie's career. "You promised me the ending would be clear/you'd let me know when the time was now/don't let me know when you're opening the door/stab me in the dark, let me disappear". Fucking come on, man! He'd said everything he needed to and would now just be David Bowie, enjoying all the things that encompassed. But, I'll be damned if, a decade later, he drops The Next Day, which, I will confess, hasn't sunk in with me yet. I dug all the videos and a few tracks, and I get that it's good, but it just never did it for me.
Then, in November...surprise..."Blackstar". This song and video changed me. I'd never heard anything like it, I'd never seen anything like it. Bowie was about to create a new world for us, like Diamond Dogs or Outside, except this time, he was going to do so with almost seventy years of life and experiences under his belt. This was going to be...unparalleled.
I got my review copy and was disappointed. Not because it wasn't a good album, it was a very good album, but it wasn't the album I had wanted from David Bowie.
I repeat: I was disappointed because it wasn't the album I had wanted from David Bowie. 
Instead of starting things off with "Blackstar" and continuing to reveal this new world to us...we got some leftover tracks from a year ago, a song from this play Dexter was in, Bowie's love letter to a secret, British, gay language***, and some wistful and reflective tracks that were wistful and reflective. 
I was beginning to tire of the album, as I'd been listening to nothing else for a week or more, so, last week, I decided to spend more time with the second two installments in his Hansa Trilogy, "Heroes" and Lodger, both of which I had heard but never really listened to. The evening of Thursday the 7th, I attended a performance of Lazarus, the night after, on his 69th birthday, I watched Tony Visconti, Woody Woodmansey and friends perform all of The Man Who Sold The World, most of Ziggy Stardust, and a handful of other early Bowie hits, live, and, at one point, Visconti had us sing "Happy Birthday" to David into Visconti's phone, then, two days later, this.

This will sound idiotically naive, but I somehow thought Bowie would outlive all of us.
He was so many things to his fans: angel, alien, sex symbol, angelic alien sex symbol; I feel like we're more devastated than his family could possibly be, as they only knew and loved him as a man, a father, a husband.

In the wake of his passing, we're all going to be exposed to a whole hell of a lot of people remembering, recounting, and reliving their own Bowie Moments, but in light of the fact that he knew about his illness and that everything on his final album was meant to be a farewell to the world, nothing will ever be a more eloquent, poignant, and haunting eulogy than the one he wrote for himself in the album, its artwork, and the videos for "Blackstar" and, especially, "Lazarus". 
David Bowie spun death.

But Bowie means something different to everyone. To me, Bowie will be forever pursued through the streets of downtown New York City by a goateed Trent Reznor, will always be ruthlessly mocking Ricky Gervais in song, and will always, always, always be the Goblin King.
And the Goblin King can never die.

* At the time of its release, 1997 or '98, I had never heard "Heroes".

** An honor/burden that now falls upon Beck.

*** When I heard about that, the first words out of my mouth were, "Of course he's doing a song like this, he's David fucking Bowie."

A review of David Bowie's ★

I have two issues with ★. First, between the stage play, Lazarus, and the two re-recorded-yet-previous-released tracks ("Sue" and "'Tis a Pity She Was a Whore"), it feels less like a new David Bowie album and more like a "here's what David's been up to since 2013" compilation*, and, second, Bowie and company blew their load far to soon with the utterly astonishing opener, "Blackstar", and, aside from a few moments here and there, the listener spends the rest of their tragically short time with the album stepping on cold, semen-soaked tissues. But, it is David Bowie's semen, and, I feel, that makes it better than regular semen.

After the epic, ten-minute title track, which introduces a plotline, characters, haunting locales, and a rich and mysterious world just begging to be explored and discovered, it is crushing to find that world immediately discarded for the drum-fucked ribaldry of "Whore". This album could have been a follow up to Outside (the new, sleeker, more dangerous version of "Sue" would have fit nicely there)...

The rest of the record isn't bad (although people who aren't fans of experimental jazz might want to watch out), but, except for the title track, "Lazarus", and "Girl Loves Me" (the lyrics for which borrow heavily from Polari, something you'll know more about than you ever wanted to only because Bowie decided to record this song), the rest of ★ just sort of fades into the background. Both "Dollar Days" and "I Can't Give Everything Away", each wistful and hazy in their own beige fashion, feel like they could have been off of any one of Bowie's last four albums.  Insert the mention of this being Bowie's 28th studio album and the fact that it's to be released on his 69th birthday and how we should all be happy/lucky/grateful to even have new David Bowie music while children in Africa are starving for new David Bowie music...

It's my fault. I understand that. But it doesn't make the disappointment any less stinging. I based an entire album on its opening track and that was foolish; I'm an adult and have been listening to music most of my life, so, my bad. And, whatever the case, no matter how unfulfilled I was with ★, I'll always have the ebon perfection of "Blackstar" and its video to soothe me, provoke my imagination, and score my nightmares.

* An alternate title could be "David Bowie Is Back Into Jazz!!!"

End of the Month Music Bitchfest - December 2015

They Might Be Giants

Dial-A-Song Round Up! pt. 12

"I'll Be Haunting You"
Damn, this close to the end and we've got another contender for the Top 10 DAS tracks of the year.

"Long White Beard"
While it is, undoubtedly, a great song, one of the best from Why?, the album is out and they have two weeks left to close this thing, so I'm a bit let down. Even more so coming after "I Am Alone" and "Haunting".

"I Love You For Psychological Reasons"
What a disturbingly adorable song and video. Between this and the last few weeks (excluding LWB), I have a funny feeling they've been saving up the highlights for the twilight.

"Shape Shifter"
And then, it ends, with a fantastic song with an even more fantastic sing-along chorus and a nightmarish video reminiscent of the most feverish moments from Liquid Television.

Look for the Year of Dial-A-Song Wrap Up coming soon.

Also, the last three TMBG concerts of the year (or if you're being a dick, the last concert of this year and the first two of next year) are happening/have already happened. Reviews forthcoming.

And, finally, the upcoming 19th TMBG album has been titled: Phone Power, which is a dumb name that sounds like a bootleg collection of Dial-A-Song tracks which I love because that's pretty much exactly what it is and it's dumb. PP will be out in March.

 Nine Inch Nails

Oh Trent! You scamp! After, literally, a year of silence, this punk ass musical genius announced (finally) the release of "Cargo In The Blood", an art book by Russell Mills featuring all the work created for the most recent NIN album, Hesitation Marks. The big awesome about this isn't the 320-page book (which is pretty cool), but, rather, the fact that each of the 2000 pieces comes with a unique and original work by Mills himself. The idea of $300 for an original Mills is bonkers...which is why I purchased two. 

And, just a week or so ago, Reznor dropped this adorable little tweet into the world: "New NIN coming in 2016. Other stuff, too." You know...whatever. I'm stoked, but this might be the year I stop obsessing over every little plip and plop of NIN stuff that comes out; poring over a blurred image, getting sweaty over a thirty second clip of noise...maybe, who knows. Of course, Trent could avoid causing me all this heartache/headache/diarrhea by just releasing a full album on January 1st*. Technically, that counts as 2016. And he's done stranger stuff than that in the past. 
As for the "other stuff", speculation is running rampant, but I'm assuming it means the Fight Club musical that's been bandied around for about for almost two decades and, perhaps, some new How to destroy angels?
And also the "tension" Blu Ray.
And the deluxe Fragile.
Sigh.
2016 is going to drag like a dog with no legs, isn't it...

Bowie's Blackstar, sadly, did not meet my expectations. But, I'm kind of a dick, so that's on me. There might be a more formal review coming soon. Hold your breath.

Finally, Prince surprised everyone by transforming into a huge, purple clitoris and returning to his home dimension, SexyCum.
Just kidding.
He did, however, release a follow up to September's HITnRUN Phase One releasing...yes, HITnRUN Phase Two, at first, exclusively on Tidal, the streaming music service for the uninformed, idiot rich**. And I reviewed it here.

YEAR IN BITCH COMING SOON!!!!!!

*WHICH HE DID NOT

** IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOUR MUSIC IS FILTERED THROUGH DARK MATTER-COATED DIAMONDS IF YOU'RE USING SHITTY IPHONE EAR BUDS.

End of the Month Music Bitchfest - November 2015

They Might Be Giants


Dial-A-Song Round Up! pt. 11

"Elephants"
First, a cautionary tale about the dangers of elephants from Why?. Thank you, Danny Weinkauf, I will try not to let my children get trampled by elephants.

"College Town"
Next, we get a defeatist anthem. It gets even worse when Flans drops that last line on you. Jesus. But how about that incongruous yet awesome optical illusion video?

"Daylight"
Something different from Flans, sweet and sad with brilliant harmonies.  Really startling and evocative video. Could be a nice album closer for the follow up to Glean...

"Apophenia"
You know? For as solid as "Apophenia" is, it's almost too TMBG. That is an awful goddamn thing to say, but, there you go. Dig that bass though. And Miller's guitar feels a bit Phish-y. Neither good nor bad, just a note. Throw this in with "Contrecoup" and "Brain Problem Situation" and you've got yourself a themed EP.

"I Am Alone"
And, finally, TMBG try their hand at a Bond theme on "I Am Alone", with a fantastic video accompaniment.

Jeez...the next one of these will be the last one of these...I think I'm shaking...

In other esoteric, They Might Be Giants news, the band released their 18th studio album, Why?, a follow up to 2002's kids album, No!. And it was reviewed favorable...by me.

And, lastly, in the world of TMBG of which you want no part...this month: the Duo Show...review coming soon.

Nine Inch Nails

For Record Store Day, whoever owns the rights to the first four NIN releases (the "Down In It" single, Pretty Hate Machine, the "Head Like A Hole" single, and the "Sin" sIngle) decided to cash in on all true NIN fans' need to own all things even considered semi-official bearing the NIN logo. For that reason, the first four halos have been put out on vinyl in completely unaltered format from their original releases. Big whoop.
Yes, I fucking bought it.

Also, in more personal NIN-related news...I was watching Mr. Robot and snark-tweeted how Mac Quayle's score is so Reznor is hurts...and Reznor liked my tweet. How genuinely depressing is it that I consider this some sort of achievement?



This month, thanks to Terry, a "top bloke" from Cannonball PR over in the UK, I was introduced to the work of ESKA, specifically, her amazing self-titled debut. It's a blend of eerie spirituality, slightly detuned soul, Prince, CeeLo Green, and Tori Amos.
You aren't ready for this.

And, finally, David Bowie debuts "Blackstar", which blew my fucking mind*; I literally had it on loop for two days, just turning up the volume when there was a silent moment in my room, but, after the revelation of the rest of the tracklist, I'm kind of bummed. "Sue"** and "Tis A Pity She Was A Whore" are both kind of awful, the kind of shitty, experimental jazz that people pretend to like but that no one actually does. Those three tracks make up half of the seven track, forty-three minute album. Then there's "Lazarus", which was written for the stage play of the same name. There are three tracks left and I'm wondering if those are also going to be in that stage play. Nutshell: this is feeling less like some amazing new Bowie concept album to rival Diamond Dogs or Outside, and more like a "here's what Bowie's been up to since 2013" album. Here's hoping those last four tracks are a quarter as mind-blowing as the title track.

* Here's a Q&A that the director did at the Brooklyn screening of the video.

** By the way, this is the EDITED version, the album version will be a needless seven and a half minutes long.

A review of They Might Be Giants' "Why?"

Did you know that clouds are made of bone? What about the fact that the word for “word” is “word”? Or that you should never picnic with wolves? Oh, man, your education is just beginning...

In the early 2000’s, They Might Be Giants found themselves with a few extra bits of studio time here and there. They decided to take the advice they’d been receiving, unsolicited, since their career started: they recorded a children’s album. It was called No! and it’s unlike any children’s music you’ve ever heard. After this, they signed a deal with Disney and, between 2005 and 2009, created the Grammy-winning Here Comes trilogy (ABCs, 123s, and Science). Finally, over a decade later, the proper follow up to No! has arrived, and, of course, it is called Why?

The album opens with "Oh You Did" starring the ever-sassy, ever-brassy Robin "Goldie" Goldwasser trying her best to tame unruly children and failing because they've already done the thing they weren't supposed to do. One of the best lines on the album is right here in the opener, specifically "did you just eat a napkin/to find out what would hap-kin?". Throw in a glimpse from the kid's side of things towards the end and the Johns featured as the chastened scamps in question and you have one hell of a strong start.
For the most part, the album remains strong; the playful, mischievous bass and guitar on "I Am Invisible" matches the childish glee coming from Linnell as he tells us what he chooses to do with his newfound ability, Danny Weinkauf (TMBG bassist and creator of his own kids record, No School Today) takes a moment to explain the dangers of elephants on "Elephants", and "Or So I Have Read" introduces young fans to one of the longest running and most featured characters in They Might Be Giants' three-decades-deep mythology: the Unreliable Narrator..."everything you hear is a fact/and the opposite is also correct".

The strongest tracks on offer, however, are "Out of a Tree", which sprang from a Dunkin' Donuts jingle penned by the band and which comes to full, spectacular fruition here, "Definition of Good", the beautiful "Long White Beard" (another spotlight on Ms. Goldwasser, whose voice is that of your favorite first grade teacher; the perfect blend of instructional, warm, fun, and encouraging), the inspirational, anthemic closer "Then the Kids Took Over", and "Thinking Machine", a bizarre back and forth between the Johns, one of which might be having a stroke. An excerpt:

Flansburgh: uncle fourteen marching flame

Linnell: don’t know what you said

Flansburgh: sleep expensive cloud enjoy

Linnell: still not following

Flansburgh: gurb long trom flom dim fim lim

Linnell: pretty sure that’s gibberish

Flansburgh: dog dog dog dog dog dog dog

Linnell: now you’re just repeating the word “dog”

The only weak link on the whole album is "So Crazy for Books", which belabors the point a bit and doesn't really fit with They Might Be Giants' tilt on the genre.

On the whole, Why? feels less experimental than No!, perhaps because capturing that spontaneity and unique moment of creating something completely new has already happened, or maybe their years working within the confines of Disney straightened out their "kid song" thinking a bit too much. Whatever the case, this is still a fabulous record, and, guaranteed, the only kids album you'll ever hear that features the word "skeleton" utilized twice in a non-didactic fashion. They Might Be Giants are insuring that the future is going to be awesome, weird and awesome.

End of the Month Music Bitchfest - October 2015

They Might be Giants

Dial-A-Song Round Up! pt. 10

Fantastic opening to the final quarter. Fans have been waiting for this punk version of "Black Ops" since before 2013's Nanobots dropped. Yes, I like this one better. That crazy monster sax is just more candy on top of a mountain of candy.

"Prepare" chases its own tail until it disappears. Feels a bit like "I'm All You Can Think About" or as if it could be a response/coda to "Older".

"To A Forest" is somewhat unsettling on its own, but throw in that video and it becomes seriously eerie. The inclusion of "hobo signs" is really the cherry on this nightmare sundae. And, seriously, Flans, you need to learn how to write more verses...

Oh good, another rambling account of something odd that probably didn't happen from yet another unreliable narrator. Something about "It Said Something" is reminiscent of Apollo 18. Good stuff.

This month will see the release of They Might Be Giants' 18th studio album, Why?. There will be a review.

Also, TMBG closed out the month with Horntoberfest, which, despite sounding...a bit under-rehearsed...blew my socks off my dick.
Review is forthcoming.


Furious gentleman, John Grant released his third album, the follow up to 2013's Pale, Green Ghosts, entitled Grey Tickles, Black Pressure, and it's the best thing he's done thus far.  The sqwampy fleep of "Snug Slacks" will make you explode out of your pants in a supernova of dancing. Here, Grant is channeling Frank Zappa so hard you could get pregnant. "Guess How I Know" and "You & Him" are dark, electronic, and hilarious. Amanda Palmer's broken smoke of a voice goes perfectly with Grant's mahogany on the latter. He's still so scathing, but, clearly one has to have an open heart for it to be hurt so much, like on "Voodoo Doll": he just wants to help. "Black Blizzard" is ominous and terrifying and "Disappointing" is a great twist on "My Favorite Things". The anger here is a lot more perceptible in the music rather than just the lyrics. But the juxtaposition of soft music and scalding lyrics is still there.

Just...go listen to the fucking thing.

Christ.

Here's a review of his October 17th show at Le Poisson Rouge.

Garbage released the 20th anniversary edition of their first album*. Typically, Garbage albums have this amazing ability to be half hit/half shit (although not, like, shitty shit, just not nearly as good or catchy as the rest, but "half hit/half not nearly as good or catchy as the rest" does not rhyme). Half are timeless pop jewels and the other half...the exact opposite, dusty remnants of whatever year they were released. On this reissue, which tauted endlessly how they went back to the original tapes, the shitty songs sound clearer and deeper, and the awesome songs sound EVEN MORE AWESOME....probably because they went back to the original tapes... The second disc of b-sides (or "g-sides" as Gorillaz coined the term about 15 years ago) are nothing new to fans who've been paying attention to the band and its web presence over the years, so that was kind of a disappointment. Then there's the additional forty one fucking tracks if you purchased the Super Deluxe digital version. These are mostly painfully 90's remixes and a half dozen demos, great for a true darkling, but not for an average human or even your average Garbage fan. The best and most interesting artifact on this epic uber deluxe edition is the very last track, an early demo of "Supervixen" on which the verse is completely different, changing the entire feel of the song and, kind of, the album, as the song sets the tone.

Here's a review of their October 24th "20 Years Queer" show at Kings Theatre.

Also working on reviews for ESKA's debut album and CocoRosie's new one, Heartache City. Thus far both of these are pretty spectacular. 

MORE SOON.

* 1995 was twenty years ago.

End of the Month Music Btchfest - September 2015

They Might Be Giants

Dial-A-Song Round Up! pt. 9

Incredibly strong (and adorably sweet) start to the last moments of the third quarter of TMBG's year of Dial-A-Song with "Definition of Good". Damn it, Linnell...making me feel... Although a more cynical man than I might say that, musically, it sounds a heck of a lot like "Meet the Elements".
Also, the award for Laziest Dial-A-Song video goes to..."Definition of Good"! I know there have been simpler or more simply executed videos, but this could have been made in a half hour on iMovie. Congrats.

Wow. "Trouble Awful Devil Evil". Yet another contender for Best Song? And, while the video is simple, perhaps, to a fault, it works perfectly and feels intentional...unlike "Definition of Good". Seriously though, the video could have been a static shot of a used coffee cup and the song would have elevated it. Jesus, great work guys. Continued love of the juxtaposition.

While I don't dig comparing Flans songs to Linnell songs, there are times when one must. For instance, after getting four stellar Linnell tracks in a row and then a much-less-than-stella Flans track. "Say Nice Things About Detroit" just seems kind of plodding and artless after this barrage of goodness. Not awful, just awfully forgettable.

Rounding out the penultimate quarter we have a great little Flans ditty called "Moles, Hounds, Bears, Bees, and Hares".
It's about death.
Just kidding.
It's about murder.
Not really.
Or is it...?
The video will kill you with its cuteness though.
Fair warning.

And speaking of death...TMBG played (almost) all of Apollo 18 this month at the Music Hall of Williamsburg. Review coming soon to SoundBlab.

And, finally, Why?, the new kids album, has a release date: November 27th. Why? will have 18 tracks and will be delightful, you got me? You'll dance forever.
Pre-order (and get a shirt and a yo-yo!) here.

Nine Inch Nails

Happy 16th birthday to The Fragile! Celebrate your sadness with three new* Fragile-era shirts! You can wear them or use them as tissues to dry your eyes as yet another year goes by with no news on the deluxe re-issue! When Trent Reznor fucks you in the ass, he doesn't just fuck you in the ass, he makes sure to wipe his shitty cock on your drapes! That stain'll never come out!!!

Beck

At a recent charity event at Largo, Beck did a short set which included special guest Andy Dick. The confusion was palpable.


At a recent VO booking, during some downtime, the engineer put on the Frank Zappa doc, Baby Snakes. While I was only familiar with a tiny slice of this madman's full discography, I spent some time with him this month. Jesus. Like early Mad magazine, more twisted "Weird" Al Yankovic and a horny teenager all jumped into some toxic sludge...
What a brave, weird goddamn artist.

Prince also unleashed his latest upon the world. HITNRUN Phase One is...sometimes...very cool. While there are a few genuinely interesting moments with Prince doing things I've never heard him do before, there are a lot of familiar strokes, and, occasionally, you'll witness the saddest thing one can witness: Prince trying too hard. "Ain't About 2 Stop" has this thick, filthy synth paired with some vaguely Arabic horn sting, with Prince kind of...rapping?...over it, "Like A Mack" has more vague rapness to it with some great guitar licks, funky horns and even some 8-bit blips, although it also has him utter the "word" "thots", which makes me very, very sad. "Fallinlove2nite" is candy club pop that will rot your teeth out. "X s Face" features Prince making monkey noises and then cajoling someone (presumably that very same monkey) to "take the banana". At times, HITNRUN Phase One can feel like a kind of remix/mash up/club sampler of his two previous works, ART OFFICIAL AGE  and PLECTRUMELECTRUM.
Look.
It's goddamn odd and it's goddamn Prince and he's not going to answer any of your goddamn questions.

And, finally, "Writing's On The Wall", the theme for the new Bond film, SPECTRE, has arrived. Hey...I know it's Sam Smith doing what Sam Smith gets paid to do, but...maybe he's a bit too effete on this? The music is great; mysterious and dark and everything it should be, but...yikes, some of those high notes are...completely nontesticular. And James Bond has testicles.
LOTS of testicles.

* not new

A review of "Cooties"

Much in the same way* This Is The End was spawned from the sentence "I want to see Jonah Hill raped by a demon", Cooties was* spawned from the sentence "children are fucking monsters".
You ever watch "Glee" and then, for whatever reason, one of the Saw movies and then think, "you know, I'd like to see these folks get together and do something"? If you said "yes" to this**, then you should probably see Cooties.
Cooties is a grisly horror comedy which tackles the zombie apocalypse from a pretty novel microcosm: grade school, with Patient Zero portrayed as a young girl who has eaten a tainted chicken nugget. Although the tried and true zombie movie beats do, eventually, rear their undying heads (Jump scares abound! Hey! The lights are out!) they, at least, seem lovingly crafted and are spaced out nicely by some pretty sharp writing. The entire cast does a great job of being the typical horror movie ensemble, with Elijah Wood as the Timid Protagonist, Rainn Wilson as the Slightly Grizzled Badass Weirdo, and Alison Pill as the Adorable Spunky Love Interest, although poor Jack McBrayer is, yet again, cast as Jack McBrayer.***

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention how excellent writers Leigh Whannell (of Saw and Insidious) and Ian Brennan (of Glee) performed as Doug (the Awkward Science Guy) and Vice Principal Simms, respectively. Then there's the fantastically horrid**** opening as well as a post-mayhem, slow motion playground montage that will make you cry with laughter and then chill your tears.

The only real downside to Cooties is the ending, specifically in the sense that it doesn't really have one*****. Seriously, it just ends. But, if you can accept the non-ending and just want something not quite as funny, clever, and scary as Shaun of the Dead or Housebound, then rub your eyes all over Cooties, because it was made for you.

Cooties will be in select theaters and available on VOD Friday, September 18th.

* I'd imagine.

** Especially if you said "yes" out loud.

*** Anderson! Tarentino! Fincher! Coens! Please help this dude before it's too late!

**** Fantastically horrid mainly because of its accuracy.

***** Oh, also the kinda racist cameo by Peter Kwong as Ninja Janitor, Mr. Hatachi.

End of the Month Music Bitchfest - August 2015

They Might Be Giants

Dial-A-Song Round Up! pt. 8

"I Haven't Seen You In Forever"
Wow. A round. That is so goddamn old school... Love the "oompha" drums as well.

"Omnicorn"
Flans has stated that this has been in the works a while and it kind of feels like it's been overworked and tweaked to death. While the subject matter is great, the sound is a bit Disney Kids.

"Another Weirdo"
I don't think I've been this bummed that an instrumental didn't have lyrics since Nine Inch Nails released Ghosts I-IV. Way to hurt me, Johns.

"I Made A Mess"
This is what I want from Why?*: a freaking madrigal*** about making a mess.

"What Did I Do To You?"
In case you were ever wondering what too much kids music does to the Johns, you have your answer here, in this marvelous, glitchsynth backlash. Fantastic.

And, for the first time this year, TMBG did not have a show of the Music Hall of Williamsburg on the last Sunday of the month, but, they will return next month with Apollo 18 and every Sunday after that with more stuff! Stuff! WOO! STUFF!!!!

Beck & St. Vincent

Two of my favorite artists sharing the stage with Taylor Swift...
Hm.
Okay; if the three of them did a collabo a la Love This Giant, I'd be interested as fuck, I think it would be an excellent test of Swift's artistic mettle if nothing else, but my cynicism won't allow me to see this as more than a perfectly planned marketing gimmick for Beck to get global attention for his new song and (GODDAMNITMOTHERFUCKER) forthcoming album, St. Vincent to get more mainstream notoriety and Swift to get some artistic clout/cred.
Also, no one seems to have a clear copy of the whole fucking thing.



Richard D. James just wasn't producing enough stuff for my taste, so I'm glad he finally upped his game by releasing his first music as AFX in over a decade. It's an EP called fsd-mid1fht-galt598983%****, and I've reviewed it!!! Yes! Reviewed it! I!

Also released this month; the debut LP from the industrial supergroup, Primitive Race, consisting of performers and producers who've worked with EVERYONE in the genre for the past forty fucking years. It's pretty awesome, if you like industrial. If you don't like industrial...you probably shouldn't bother. Review here, if you would like to bother. Special attention should be given to their debut EP, Long In The Tooth, which is mainly PR and Raymond Watts, AKA Pig. This motherfucker...is filthy in the same over-the-top way that Larry Flynt was. Is. Was? Is Larry Flynt dead? Hang on... Nope, he's alive. Holy shit. Way to go, Larry!

And, finally, I discovered that Rasputina has released yet another album! Self released, it appears and that would make sense. For the most part, Unknown tends to ramble in a not-as-fun-as-their-usual-rambling fashion, but there are a few truly beautiful, haunting moments; specifically "Bridget Manners", "Indian Weed", "Untitled I", "Hymn Of The Wormwood Women" and the title track. Still haven't given up on these psychos and I never will.

* The new They Might Be Giants kids album, remember? Coming soon.**

** Real soon, not "Reznor soon".

*** I think this could be considered a madrigal...I don't think I know exactly what that is...

**** Just kidding, it's called orphaned deejay selek 2006-2008

A review of 'Primitive Race'

What began as an idea and a Twitter account in early 2013 has now become a fully realized, truly collaborative effort bringing together almost a dozen industrial performers and producers from over the past 40 years. If Chris Kniker (bassist, producer, and mastermind behind PR) had managed to wrangle these artists onto one album and it had been total shit, it still would have been a miracle, but the fact that he managed to wrangle these artists onto one album and it resulted in a revolutionary new step for the genre is something much more important. With vocals by Graham Crabb, Josh Bradford, Tommy Victor, and Andi Sex Gang, synths, guitars, and programming by Kniker, Mark Gemini Thwaite, Dave "Rave" Ogilvie, Kourtney Kline, Mark Brooks, and Erie Loch, this could have ended up sounding like mindless cacophony, but, all these parts perfectly interlock and form one motherfucker of a Transformer.  

The programming shines throughout the entire album; bladed and intricate. There's not one track here without some great nuance and texture. The most barbed moments, however, include the filthy, desert twang of "Cage Rattler", the relentless assault of "So Strange", the ghostly, subterranean sojourn of "Addict Now", the smirking snarl of "Platinum Balls", and the huge, surging, goth anthem of "Below Zero", which serves as a perfect closer. They even find a moment to spit bile at the shitty state of radio with "DJFH".  

Specifically for fans of Skinny Puppy, Pop Will Eat Itself, Gary Numan, Prong, Blownload, Marilyn Manson, Nitzer Ebb, RevCo, and any of the other dozen or so artists and bands represented here, but more importantly, for fans of how industrial used to sound and how it could sound. Primitive Race is the same machine that's been tearing its way through hearts and minds for four decades, but with new components; sharper, and more dangerous, a meeting of industrial legends and gifted neophytes, this could be the first step towards an evolution in the genre, something every race needs to survive.

Also, if you'd prefer something a bit more electronic and a whole lot filthier than what's on offer here, chances are you'll enjoy Long In The Tooth, the 10-track collaborative EP from Primitive Race and industrial scumbag Pig (Raymond Watts). After wallowing through the three non-LP tracks and seven remixes offered therein*, guided only by Watt's trademark shit-and-gravel-choked voice, you will need a long, hot shower, still you may never feel truly clean again.

* Including remixes by Praga Khan of Lords of Acid, Brian Diemar of Bells Into Machines, Mary Byker, and more.

End of the Month Music Bitchfest - July 2015

They Might Be Giants

Dial-A-Song Round Up! pt. 7

First and foremost, congratulations to "The Velvet Ape" for snatching the award for Strangest Dial-A-Song from "Sold My Mind To The Kremlin". Flansburgh is bringing the weird. Special bonus points for reminding me of Coil's "The Anal Staircase". I don't think there's an award for that, even a fake one.

Going from the oddity of "Ape" to the (somewhat uninspired) fun and pleasant mischief of "I Am Invisible" scores huge juxtaposition points. I hate the video for this, specifically the lead guy in it. Something about him makes me very uncomfortable.

"Rock Club" brings us another decades-old Dial-A-Song sketch made real. Originally titled "We Love All The People", this was an odd choice to resurrect, but Flans manages to maintain the overgentle wheedling from the demo. The video takes place in the same universe as that of "Summer Breeze". Which is awesome.

Rounding things off this month, we have another cover; Norma Tanega's adorable and 60's-tastic "Walking My Cat Named Dog". It's so sixties that it's almost featureless, you know? No? Ugh. Whatever. The video is super literal and super cute, as well.

Regarding TMBG's Lincoln show from the 26th (REVIEW HERE! WITH PHOTOS!!!!!!!!! FUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!); I was worried this would happen...aside from Glean, they have about a dozen brand new songs, none of which made an appearance at the show. I only hope this month was a fluke because they're tired from their trip to Britain. I guess we'll see next month...wait, no, TMBG aren't having an August show.
I seethe.

And, lastly in the world of TMBG, the upcoming children's album, the follow up to 2002's No!, has a title: Why?
I love these fucking guys.

Nine Inch Nails
"Apple Music is still a thing, you guys!" screams Trent Reznor, as he desperately throws two (really solid, actually) leftovers from the Gone Girl score up on the service. He then mumbled something about putting the entirety of said leftovers (five-ish) on a vinyl at some point.
Trent.
Shut up and put out the goddamn Fragile reissue.

Beck
Beck shows up on the new Chemical Brothers album. It's not great.

St. Vincent
Annie Clark shows up on the new Chemical Brothers album. It's not great.


I used the word "passe" earlier this month, which reminded me of the lyric "heroin is so passe", which reminded me of the song "Not If You Were The Last Junkie On Earth" by the Dandy Warhols. I then watched the video for "Junkie" (Zia McCabe is adorable), then for a song called "Scientist", then decided to listen to some of their music, as I'd only ever heard "Junkie".
After a few weeks to take in almost all of their twenty year, eight album discography, I've decided that I like their first album (Dandys Rule Ok) and I love their 2003 album, Welcome To The Monkey House*. It reminds me of Midnite Vultures with its electro-scuzz vibe.

Then, seemingly out of nowhere, Alessandro Cortini goes and releases a follow up to last year's Sonno called Risveglio. I'm sure you remember that, right? Well, I FUCKING DO. And I reviewed it.

Finally, I had a chance to review the brand new Telepathe album (and it's about goddamn time). I am so happy it was worth the wait. Review coming in a few days.

* And its awesome, weird, Bizarro twin, The Dandy Warhols Are Sound.