Plavix Rock Star or Plavix Xmax

12.18.07
3:57PM
Does your heart have clots?
Why not name them after your enemies...and then destroy them with the sexiest heart medicine ever...PLAVIX.
Why, you might ask as you are curious little weasels, is this the sexiest heart medicine ever?
Well, my mischievous little marmots, I will tell you.
Because I am the Voice featured in several of their advertisements.
And you know if I and my big, sexy voice are involved, it's sexy.
Bacardi...sexy.
Grey Goose...sexy.
Evergreen Financial...sexually arousing.
The Holocaust...very sexy.

What an excellent Christmas present.
I also had a delicious chocolate Muffin while I was waiting.
That's always good.
Plus, I learned some new industry lingo...
"Wild lines" are NOT lines of coke breaking the typical "straight line" format, but rather a line from a script read on its own, out of context and "academy style" means reading one section three times in a row in order to get different variations of said line, not giving an Academy Awards acceptance speech.
I learn something every day I'm not working at this cocksucking asshole factory.

I am Actor!
Hear me Muffin!
Also, ask your doctor if Plavix is right for you...which it is...because it's sexy.
::nibble::

P.S. "Cocksucking" came up as "crosskicking" on the spell check.
That's actually kind of more offensive in it's own way.

Lite Jazz Has Raped Vince Guaraldi

12.17.07
Sitting in a local pizza parlor (I think that is a LOVELY little epithet by the by) I had the utter misfortune to hear the Lite Jazz sodomizing of the excellent and perfect "Linus and Lucy" by the Vince Guaraldi Trio (aka the Charlie Brown theme).
Speed it up, add a drum machine beat and drain all the feeling, color and soul out of it and that's pretty much what it sounds like.
I'd go into more detail by thinking about it brings on fits of Jittering Diarrhea.
Speaking of Diarrhea.
The final version of the new Gablocki (or should we go with Zuyet?) production, "The Best Sandwich Ever" (featuring a brand new track from the Grammy award winning band, George Washington Diarrhea, check them totally out at www.myspace.com/georgewashingtondiarrhea) should be out soon.
I will keep you posted.

Tell your friends...

12.6.07

10:33 pm

Just sitting here, minding my owns (my own business), trying to decide whether or not I'm going to call out of work tomorrow when my favorite know-nothing-know-it-all (the History Channel buff I ranted about that time in the Red Room) says this jewel that I must now share with you.

Context: Talking about the martial arts like he actually practices one and as if he is not a middle aged, overweight, balding Hispanic dingbat.

"The cheekbone is powerful.

The cheekbone protects the cheek."

Ooooooooh.

THAT'S what it does.

Seriously, as fucking opposed to what?

The knee?

Yeah, I think I just may call out tomorrow.

Last week I had a four day work week and going from a four to a full five can sometimes give me anal fissures of the soul.

But, fear not, if I DO decide to extend me weekend, I will not blither it away on biscuits and fritters, I am working on yet another project I started in 2005.

It's about Christo.

That motherfucking cocksucker.

That filthy, fucking dog.

Anyway,that'll be happening soon.

And then maybe Malaise Away.

The weather's right for it.

All I need now is some mopey fucks.

Would YOU like to be one of my mopey fucks?

Let me know.

We'll mope something out.

Meanwhile, this Sunday, Phil and Ray and I are going to squeeze our creative juices into a single container and drink deep.

Life on this planet should cease soon after.

Consider it broughten.

Disney-riffic rootin tootin fuckyou imsogoddamnstired assfuck

11.27.07

4:45 pm

how is it possible that i got less sleep while ON FUCKING VACATION AT HOME THAN I DO USUALLY?

Maybe I should get a job at home so I can sleep more.

i tired.

early morning bad

fuck fuck

went to Disney world while at home (first time since summer of '99 with Jenn and Lauren...when life was more simple...) and, although i believed myself far too cynical to enjoy myself, I surprised me and had a wonderful (if not slightly price-gouged) time.

this is one of the first times I've traveled with my iPod and it's nothing but a breeze, a cooool breeze.

No carry on and my super new ear plugs headphone things make the engines, stews and those GODDAMN OVERABUNDANT CAPTAINS ANNOUNCEMENTS utterly negligible.

I mean, seriously, who gives a tingly fuck that we're flying over North Carolina on the way to New York.

Tell me if we're NOT flying over North Carolina.

THAT is something I want to know.

Assez.

I meant that to be a jazzy new way of saying "asses", not the French verb form for "some fucking thing".

Oui.

Man my head hurts.

Assez foue.

Nous assez avec trois fromage dans le chein et la vache.

Oui.

I'm getting a bunch of scrumble bums together to see 'No Country For Old Men' this weekend.

If you want to be among the Chosen, be born into Fucky, be

borne

 into

it.

Schwa.

I went on the Haunted Mansion.

They updated some stuff.

It's still excellent.

Also, they updated the Pirates ride include the characters from the movies and it's pale.

I had ribs last night.

30 of them.

But they were small.

Cat ribs maybe.

I'm going to contact the folks.

Folks.

Fokes.

No Hot Pants For Wario Gin OR When The Going Gets Tough, The Tough Get Chinky

11.19.07
5:34 pm
That actually sums the whole thing up quite nicely.
Hm.
Well, for those who CAN'T read between the lines:
I traveled with Reinhold Von Tuckermann via the Big Gray Dog to Washington Direct Current this weekend to cavort with one William James Buckley Pomersantz.
It was chinky.
We met Brooke (good people), Wilbo's roommate/good friend and, as expected, her uber-religious 15 year old sister uttered the words, "he looks like a statue" when she caught sight of me mere moments after waking up Saturday morning before I'd had a chance to put my hair up.
Happens all the time, but I always enjoy when it does.
Means things are running the way they should, by buckets!
Friday night, we embarked upon our third attempt at actually finishing the Big Lebowski drinking game without getting distracted by Asian girls (not the kissing kind, the pretentious, coke-tooting and somber, soul-sucking kind), fly-blown chicken, fire escapes and/or me refusing to drink anymore Irished-Up vodka milk.
The enormity of the task was deceptively easy.
Phil and Will, leather gulleted gunslinger that they are, stuck with Beers while I, with my girlish sensibilities, vapors and monthlies stuck with Sapphire Gin and ginger ale.
Gin tastes like pine trees/ Pine Sol.
We also had two huge packages of Saltines (to soak up the aggravated alcohol damage), hummus and pita, a pack of Twinkies and a pack of Snowballs (the Limited Edition Winter White kind).
They were more disgusted and nonplussed at the consumption of the snack cakes than the Gin.
Anyway, to make a long and bleary story somewhat shorter, I told Brooke (first impression time!!!) that we had played this game in the presence of bitches before, and she WAS NOT a bitch.
I was VERY VEHEMENT on that note.
Very.
VERY.
We then proceeded to take five hours to watch the whole movie...
well...
sort of...
I took five hours, while Phil and Will took about 4 hours and 35 minutes.
You see, the two of them feel asleep on Will's couch before the end of the movie, making ME the first and ONLY Champion of the Fatty Patrol Executive Board Members Big Lebowski drinking game.
I hereby officially retire from the aforementioned game for the remainder of my natural life.
Thank you.
Also thanks to the BLDG, Saturday and Sunday had a bit of a pall cast across them.
Saturday consisted of eating the best burger in D.C., then getting Will his B-day gift.
After more deliberation than even I am used to, we consulted a slightly batrachian employee at the GameStop in the Pentagon City Mall and made our purchase:
Wario Ware: Smooth Moves.
Happy Birthday Will.
Here is some crazy, chinked-out shit.
We then returned to Will's home and rolled around slowly for a while before deciding to check out No Country For Old Men, the Coen Bros. directed adaptation of the Cormac McCarthy novel.
It was an amazing movie.
See it.
Well, that is if you enjoy things that are excellent.
If, you know, you like things that suck, see something else, but if you enjoy things that are great and perfect, see the movie.
Anyway, afterwards we had pasta and something called a Kit Kat Bar at a swanky DC chow house.
I then walked face first into a one way sign and proceeded to bend it in half.
The Dept. of Transportation will receive a VERY stern letter from me in regards to the minimum height requirements of there street signs.
We then played Wario Ware for about three hours.
This game is totally fucked and beautiful.
I can't describe it.
This was the first time I had played a Wii and I can see where, if utilized correctly, the control set up would indeed revolutionize the industry.
I also applaud the Japanese for trying to get all those fart ass gamers moving around a bit, even if it is only to shave a sheep or to balance a panda or to pluck a nose hair.
Sunday morning, Will and I made French Toast after Phil's Burnt Plastic Soup didn't pan out.
Later we had an excellent lunch at a Thai restaurant and went to Barnes & Noble to buy Cormac McCarthy books.
Soon after, Philip and I rejoined our friends at Greyhound and spun back to New Yawk.
All in all, solid good, but an overwhelming feeling of "why the fuck aren't we doing this more often" seemed to pervade the occasion.
We will have to work on that in the coming decade, if Will has a weekend free and it is not too cold.
In the end, I left my brush at Will's but still enjoyed myself.
Enough so, at least, to comment upon it here.
Yours internally,

Knox Harrison
Famous Film Artist

A review of Nine Inch Nails' Y34RZ3R0R3M1X3D

Every Nine Inch Nails remix album ends up being a mixed bag.
It's just what happens when you get different artists with different styles in one place.
And like other Nine Inch Nails remix albums, the results are varied.
In the case of “Y34RZ3R0R3M1X3D”, the results are more varied than any Nine Inch Nails remix album to date.
Here's a track by track breakdown...

Gunshots By Computer (Saul Williams)
You don't remix a one minute and forty three second instrumental.
Instead, you get an amazing poet like Saul Williams to give it a voice.
A voice that speaks of the army we hear in it and of the people who the army is marching against and of the Nation that the army comes from and of the leader of the army who doesn't know why he has an army in the first place and of the world in which there exists such an army.
Excellent reinterpretation of an excellent opener.

The Great Destroyer (modwheelmood)
I'm usually not a fan of cutting and pasting lyrics to serve the purpose of a remixer, but in the case of modwheelmood's reinvisioning of ‘The Great Destroyer’, it works…very well.
Along with Saul Williams, Alessandro Cortini is the only remixer on this album to have worked closely with Reznor for an extended period of time.
Cortini has performed this song live with Reznor dozens of times, who better to remix it?
What modwheelmood does is amazing; they turn this half paranoid anthem/half computer error explosion into a gentle, sad and climactic introduction to the album.
The re-keying of Reznor's vocals creates a whole new range of emotions not found in the original and it's gorgeous.
Yes, it sounds a bit like Radiohead.
So does modwheelmood.
And anyway, Radiohead is good.
So shut up.

My Violent Heart (Pirate Robot Midget)
The truncated but solid stompfest of Pirate Robot Midget's ‘My Violent Heart’ adds some jagged edges to an already heavy track.
In the original, the army you hear is angry and desperate; in this version they're at your door.
The intro and outro sounds give it a pirated (no pun intended) radio transmission feel.
Nice touch.

The Beginning of the End (Ladytron)
At first listen, Ladytron's ‘The Beginning of the End’ seems a bit lacking and typical.
But if you really dig in, you'll find it has more to offer; not huge amounts more mind you, but more than one would originally think.
The sonic textures add a colder feel to one of the only organic tracks on “Year Zero”.
The 'Closer' reference at the end?
I'm of two minds.
On one hand, it sort of takes you out of the whole “year zero" concept, but then again, these days Reznor does break into 'The Only Time' during performances of 'Closer'.
No harm, no foul.

Survivalism (Saul Williams)
Saul Williams’ version of ‘Survivalism’ takes a bit of the militaristic edge off the original and highlights some elements buried beneath the noise, but I think he should stick to being an amazing wordsmith rather than a so-so remixer.
It isn't bad by any means, but it doesn't float my remix boat.
Also, any Nine Inch Nails fan that picked up the ‘Survivalism’ single back in March has had this remix for over 6 months.
To be fair, I loved his vocal version of this track; it adds that special brand of Williams' vitriol.

Capital G (Epworth Phones)
Not a fan of the reworking of ‘Capital G’.
Too bleepy and bloopy in that annoying "hott clubb mixxx" sort of way.
Interesting use of the vocals though.
They got it half right.

Vessel (Bill Laswell)
Bill Laswell's ‘Vessel’ adds some nice dimension and ferocity to the original although it's hardly a reinvention.
It's a very good remix, as in it's exactly what you'd expect a remix of this song to sound like. I can't really say much more.

The Warning (Stefan Goodchild featuring Doudou N'Diaye)
‘The Warning’ is a great track and the remix by Stefan Goodchild and Doudou N'Diaye Rose is incredible.
The drums add a more organic feel that's missing from the grinding machine sound of the original.
The tinkling piano adds a very unsettling element that fits perfectly with the core of the song.
One of the best on the album.

Meet Your Master (The Faint)
The Faint took the snide, rebellious feel of ‘Meet Your Master’ and multiplied it by 1,000 Funktates.
A Funktate is the unit of measurement for funkiness.
The editing is razor sharp and, with the vocal rendering, the result is incredibly energetic.
This one of the best recreations on here...and you can shake your ass to it.

God Given & Zero Sum (Stephen Morris and Gillian Gilbert)
Both of Stephen Morris and Gillian Gilbert’s remixes add a little something here and there, but the "lay down most of the original elements with a simple synth line underneath them" device never really blows anyone's mind.
As for ‘God Given’, I've never really loved the song and this is just a remix of a song that I've never really loved.
‘Zero Sum’ gained a few interesting components but lost much more in the treatment.
Originally, the song was beautiful, haunting, sad and expansive, now?
It's a remix with some keyboards added.
Way to go, New Order.

Me, I’m Not (Olof Dreijer)
Fuck you, Olof.
After 14 solid minutes of your boring dark wave drones with a few whispers from the original track thrown in I wanted to mutilate my genitals...with a knife.
Thanks for that.

Another Version of the Truth (Kronos Quartet and Enrique Gonzalez Muller)
It's hard not to compare the Kronos Quartet and Enrique Gonzalez Muller’s version of ‘Another Version of the Truth’ with Bellini's version of ‘The Frail’ from the 2000 remix album "Things Falling Apart".
However, it's easy to say that this is better.
Rather than just playing piano parts on the strings, the Kronos Quartet takes the theme provided by Reznor and travels all over with it.
The original feels cold and lonely while this version feels reflective and warm.

In This Twilight (Fennesz)
Fennesz transforms the dying old machine of ‘In This Twilight’ into a beautiful yet sorrowful recollective dream.
From the haze of noise, the occasional sharp edge is felt, but it's more a bitter edge of regret rather than the cold metal felt in the original.
A much more human version of a song about the end of humanity.
The most beautiful offering on “Y34RZ3R0R3M1X3D”.

And the best part is…if you hated every remix on this thing, you can put your money where your whiny, malcontent mouth is!
The disc has EVERY SINGLE SOUND that makes up “Year Zero” included on it.
They’re all there, and there’s even a special website opening up on the release date for you to show the world that you’re better than the artists on this album.
You pretentious asshole.

Review of "The Inevitable Rise and Liberation of Niggy Tardust"

Reznor acts as an intelligent, relevant Timbaland for Williams' meaningful, emotional lyrics.
Driving, pounding beats scattered across the characteristically haunting Nine Inch Nails ambience.
Add in the hip hop fingerprints of Thavius Beck and CD KIDTRONIC and you have something unique: dark, intelligent, entrancing, danceable poetry/hip hop.
This album is one of the best examples of a perfect collaboration.
There's more of a theme in the sound of "The Inevitable Rise and Liberation of Niggy Tardust" than there is in Williams' other two albums.
Obviously that fact is due to Reznor's grinding, buzzing, scratchy synths, bass and drums all over this project.
It gives the album a unified feel missing from both "Amethyst Rock Star" and William's self titled release and that adds a shade of maturity.

The explosive intro track, "Black History Month" grabs the listener's attention and commands them to heed every word of warning. "The banana peels are carefully placed/so keep your shell toes carefully laced".
The old school/new school fusion of "Tr(n)igger" looks at both sides of the word 'nigger' and points a finger at black and white alike asking "You want to blame it on the government on why you got no money for your rent?" and "Would Jesus Christ come back American? What if he's Iraqi and here again?"
Williams' cover of U2's "Sunday Bloody Sunday" breathes a desperate new energy into the old anti-war standard and Reznor's aggressive, static filled arrangement edges Williams' pleads with broken glass and razor blades.
The resulting track is an amazing reinvention of a worn out, overplayed masterpiece.
The track "Niggy Tardust" has a creeping synth line and a severe drum machine and synth loop that make the listener uncomfortable. Williams' includes a biting take on the typical 'call and response' aspect of performance.
"Scared Money" (with its straight up reggae feel) and "Raw" (with its stark simplicity) serve as disparate islands of respite in the roiling sonic ocean.
The chilling and beautiful "Banged and Blown Through" conveys a powerful sense of fatigue and hope with the pairing of harsh drums and a cold synth riff and gorgeous, ethereal strings (a device Williams' has used before to his advantage). "Conductor! Conductor! I feel electricity. Conductor! Conductor! Can you bring out the song in me?"
The album's closer, "The Ritual", is just that.
It's a ceremony, a challenge and a purgation all in one and it's a solid destination for the journey that is "The Inevitable Rise and Liberation of Niggy Tardust".

In the end, the album has less of a storyline than the title (and the album to which the title is referring) would lead you to believe and in that way it resembles Williams' first two albums.
Also like his first two albums, this is a collection of well thought out, elegantly worded vitriol aimed at every color in society.
Are the ideas brought up here brand new?
Will it bring about social upheaval?
Probably not, but at least there's an artist out there who actually seems to give a shit about something bigger than his car, his bling and his paycheck.

You can get the entire album for free (or in a higher quality format for a $5 donation), no strings attached, at www.niggytardust.com
Check it out.
It's fucking free.
You lazy assholes.

Saul Williams - Amethyst Rock Star

10.30.07
8:55 pm
Over the past few months, Trent Reznor has been working closely with Saul Williams on his new album, "The Inevitable Rise and Liberation of Niggy Tardust!".
They've "leaked" two tracks in anticipation of the release (11/1/07) and they are both exactly what you would expect from a Nine Inch Nails/Saul Williams collaboration.
I went back and relistened to Williams' first album, "Amethyst Rock Star", since the first time I checked it out it didn't really register with me and, upon a more thorough listen, I was fucking blown away.
Williams isn't a rapper, he is a beat poet.
What does that mean on an album?
First off, he holds a lot of disdain for the thug types and isn't afraid to call them out and tell how ridiculous they appear.
Also, his lyrics really are lyrical, they aren't just rhyming couplets.
They have a meaning that is lacking from most of the hip-hop and rap out there.
He's a bit like Zack De La Rocha but less preachy and repetitive and shrill.
The emotion he conveys is incredibly moving and entrancing as well.
It's raw and refreshing and worth taking note of.
Stand out tracks include "Penny for a Thought", "Robeson", "Fearless", "Om Nia Merican" and the amazing, epic, album closer, "Wine".
If you listen to rap or hip-hop and are tired of hearing about cars and bling, check him out, it's really powerful stuff.
To hear two of the Reznor produced tracks, go to www.nin.com.

Hmmm...

I've been watching the third season of the (American) Office and Ed Helms looks a lot like John Flansburgh.

Banana/The Best Day Of My Life

10.22.07
6:39pm

I just enjoyed a banana.
What a whimsical fruit, the banana.
The shape, the color, the peeling.
And it's the only fruit whose skin becomes a deadly booby trap when cast strategically on the floor.

So, last Wednesday was the best day of my life, thanks to both Megan Boggia and Bill Kates, respectively.
I could go into detail and geek out here, but since this is a VERY relative and esoteric "best day ever" and I already wrote a five page journal entry in regards to it, I won't.
I'll just sum it all up:
My friend Bill (XM dude) got me into a They Might Be Giants recording session at a studio downtown.
The first part of the day was them laying down elements on a new project they're doing, the next part was a ten song mini-concert for which the only audience was TMBG's producer, Pat Dillett, Bill and me and the final part was an excellent, informative, personal and hilarious interview conducted by Bill with John and John...and me, the tallest goddamn fly on the wall ever.
It was, seriously, one of THE BEST DAYS of my life.
Thank you Meg, thank you Bill, you have collectively rocked my boat xmax.

In other, SLIGHTLY less life-defining news, Ray and I have filmed something called "The Best Sandwich Ever!".
Last night at about 10 the theme song came out of my mouth and it didn't stop until around 4.
Luckily I was able to get a recording device in front of it.
Hopefully, we will be screening the film at the party on Sunday.
It will destroy you.
I guarantee.
So be there or remain intact, pussy.

Ridiculous

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdsUMhUxM8w
Can ANYONE make out a fucking thing he is saying?

tres grand mal beaucoup or T. Thaddeus Cocksucker in '08!!!

9.28.07
4:23 pm

"Slumber, watcher, 'til the spheres,
six and twenty thousand years
have revolv'd, and I return
to the spot where now I burn.
Other stars anon shall rise
to the axis of the skies;
stars that soothe and stars that bless
with a sweet forgetfulness:
only when my round is o'er
shall the past disturb thy door."

-H.P. Lovecraft
'Polaris'

Other than that I was reflecting on the fact that the two major types of seizure ('petit mal' and 'grand mal') just mean 'small bad' and 'big bad' in French.
Never really thought about it before, but I think it's kind of funny.
"What happened to my father?"
"Oh, he had a big bad seizure."
"Are you making fun of me?"
"Hell yes, fatty."

You know.
YOU know.
YOU.

I also think that our next President should be named T. Thaddeus Cocksucker Jr.
Man, that's a great name...and a great man.

amar-me é temer me e o versa vice

So, my friend Genevieve (who works at the Jeffery Group) did something beautiful...
Go to www.thejeffreygroup.com/worldview then click either Portuguese or Spanish.
See anyone sexy?
And just to clarify, no, I have not actually BEEN to Latin America, but yes, my image has been found there, carved into stones more than 50 million years old.

SO over him...

Just watched the latest music video from Marilyn Manson.
And I am officially uninterested in what he does or says for the rest of his shark-jumping career.
Two words: shit sandwich.

Letting go of yet another dirty day

8.21.07
8:07pm

Went to the

96th street

branch of the New York Public Library yesterday on my break.
I'm honestly surprised that more people aren't illiterate.
This place was about a half step above a crackhouse.
Everything about it screamed lack of funding.
It was very depressing.
That depression was replaced by confused elation at my audition earlier today in which I played a shaven Sasquatch, and then it was replaced again by a far more personal sense of depression when I learned that I will NOT be featured in the upcoming Beyonce Armani Diamonds commercial.
The money is still the same and I'm sure I'll buck up when that massive whale penis check comes in but, shit, you know?
That Beyonce thing would have been on the Internet for centuries.
Fucking fickle ass French.
Fucking Ben (Ben is the flaming bag of dog farts that Mr. Armani decided to go with instead of my sexy length).
And again for the fucking asshole fickle French.
And (why the fuck not?) for Beyonce.
What about those other two girls in Destiny's Child?!
How can you just flush their hopes and dreams down the toilet like so much aborted fetal (yes fetal, not fecal) matter?
I can picture it now: Beyonce walks off stage at some goddamn award show and her cell rings.
"Hey Bee, it's one of the girls from Destiny's Child...don't suppose you're ready to do another album?"
"Oh, shoot, I'd love to, but I'm going to be in Idlewild II with Outkast."
"Oh.  Okay.  Hey, no, that's totally cool.  Me and the other girl from Destiny's Child are doing great.  But, (minute tremor enters her voice here) it sure would be fun to get the band back together again, you know? (slightest rasp of desperation in her voice here)  Keep in touch!"
Click.

Always click.

Out.

Going to Ocean City for a week.
I will think of you and eat fudge.

Feel my art.

HERE.
I have updated my youtube.
It will cure cancer, blindness, homosexuality, AIDS, splinters, creeping numbness, stomping numbness and harelips.
If you are lonely, it will give you what you need, be it companionship or orgasm or both.
If you need a hand to hold, a shoulder to cry on and soul to match yours, you will find it within my updated youtube.
I am not exaggerating.
Again, HERE is what you are looking for.
HERE is where you need to be.

"The human wang is a beautiful thing."

And mine is more beautiful than some.
All right, so I have started my youtube deluge.
I have a few more things to add and then I will personally message each and every person on my goddamn myspace friends list and tell them, personally, to check out my beautiful wang.

Let’s Get Hetero!

7.31.07
7:32 PM
So, first, anyone remember Imi Kamoze and his goddamn annoying song "Here Comes the Hot Stepper"?
I just heard it in a Subway and suddenly everything went dark.
I hate that fucking song and I hope a lot of people bought the entire album thinking it would be just as "good" as the single.
Also, I heard some shitty remake of the excellent SWV/MJ hit "Human Nature".
It was shitty, but it served to remind me of how good the original is.
I will download it tonight.
Second, has anyone seen the posters and print ads for the final Jason Bourne movie?
Whatever gets revealed to him must have instantaneously lobotomized him because in every picture he looks like his ass just fell out.
Third, I finished the last Harry Potter book but for those who haven't finished it, I'll keep mum.
I think the movie should be good if they just make it four hours or so.
Fourthly, Philip is now a resident of Long Island City.
He is in our hearts no longer, for now he is in our hallway.
Literally.
And he has brought with him the most "aggressively heterosexual" music ever.
A man-thing called Mika.
Find and download the song "Lollipop" and then dance your genitals off.
And fifthly and finally, I am a bristle length away from finishing "Ache, Spin, Die, Repeat", a short film project that I wrote at the beginning of 2005 and which was filmed a few weeks ago with Christina Girlfriend and Christina Nongirlfriend.
It is my most ambitious foray into filmmaking thus far and I am incredibly happy with it.
As soon as I am finished with it, I shall bombard youtube with some beautiful tits that will make you weep tears of Milk and Glory.
Thank you.
P.S. Also, Hot Fuzz came out on DVD today and I bought it.
Without permission.
I shall be punished with the Stick of Destiny for sure, but it will be worth it.

8.1.07
8:11 PM
Sweet and sweaty breastmeat.
I saw a super jubilant sparrow hopping around today and I realized that I enjoy watching sparrows hop.
It soothes me.
Sooooothes. Meeeeee.
Also, I realized that I could never work at Subway because, seriously, how many times do you think I could listen to people demanding a "six inch hearty Italian" without making a remark that would get me ousted by the Subway Triumvirate?
And I am now 99.7% finished with ASDR, needing only a tweak to the credits to finish it up.
There is joy in my pants.
Can you see it?

**************************************************
Since these last two entries, I have finished ASDR and been given a toffee (Worther's Original) by a priest with a gastric bypass.
Things are good.

You say you've got some very excellent news...

Bill sent me the XM Comedy Ladies' Night stuff I did and I am one talented motherfucker.
If only ANYONE I KNEW had XM.
Well, fuck it.
If you want to hear it, fucking ask me and I'll send it to you.
Also, Bill informs me that the TMBG XM studio thing (15-20 person audience for a short set) will take place on the 8th, so I'm gonna knock out of work that day and just soak in TMBG.
Good way to make up for missing the first show because of bowel shaking earthquakes of doubt and remorse (read diarrhea).
Shot 'Ache, Spin, Die, Repeat' last weekend and recorded the music earlier today. 
It should be in editing in a few.
Feeling rompy.
Also, by this time next week, Philiston J. Tuckerton will be an official resident of New York State.
Ladies, don't even bother with the birth control pills, just have all your eggs removed because this man is POTENT.
Welcome to Fucktown.
Population: you.