VERY IMPORTANT

5.28.10

3:55 pm

VERY IMPORTANT.

IN PUBLIC THERE IS NO WAY TO SURREPTITIOUSLY SMELL YOUR ARMPITS.

NO. WAY.

ESPECIALLY ON THE SUBWAY.

You bunch of smelly ass retards.

Okay, that's enough information, I think.

Last night I was happily surprised to see the HTDA site got all updated.

Give it away.

Nice.

Of course, I FOILED their stupid plan to give their music away for free by buying a t-shirt AND a poster.

HAH! FREE?! HAH! FUCK GOATS! MORE LIKE $53! HAH!

And I have no idea where I am even going to put that poster...

There was also a limited edition (only 120 IN EXISTENCE!!!), hand-silk-screened etc etc t-shirt for $50, but by the time I'd found out about it, it was sold out.

Would I have bought a fifty dollar t-shirt of the band one of my favorite musicians is now in...?

.

.

.

.

Well, since the shirt was already sold out, I suppose I'll never have to answer that question, now will I?

Nosy.

This manner of distribution is totally the way to go.

Now I'm just going to be antsy for four days, rather than four weeks.

Fool bag.

Also, Gary Coleman died.

That sucks.

The Funzo episode of the Simpsons with him is just great.

"He's a few prawns short of a galaxy..."

Classic.

Last night (because the new season is starting next week and because it's been crouching there on my Desktop for about a year) I watched the final episode of the second season of True Blood.

Forgot how fun and ridiculous that show is.

Beck's on the new soundtrack coming out June 8th.

He's a busy little muffin as of late with the whole Record Club, showing up on 'Maniac Meat', the True Blood thing and the Scott Pilgrim soundtrack as well.

Way to go, Mr. Hansen.

Keep it up.

Maybe an album?

Finally, and, most importantly, I have started a Twitter account: @guido_paparazzi

It's...pretty important, like I said.

At the moment, I'm following Kevin Smith, Murdoc Niccals, Nine Inch Nails, Trent Reznor and How To Destroy Angels.

Those last three...they kind of dovetail, you know?

I think Will has a Twitter page, although I might not comment on that all that often.

I also have a feeling that he might not become a Follower of mine either.

Might.

I joined it solely so I can be eligible for a HTDA contest thing happening this Sunday, so you probably won't hear from me again.

1. Because I don't have a portable Internet device.

2. Because nothing ever happens.

3. Because 140 characters can suck the shit from my ass.

I do support the push for brevity, as it is the soul of wit, but I'm pretty goddamn witless, if you've ever met me or read this journal, so Twitter is sort of antithetical to my nature, but I do not support the push for further despoiling and degradation of the English language.

And I've got a funny feeling that 98% of Twitter users don't know what 'brevity', 'wit' or 'Shakespeare' are.

Such is life.

As Christina will be massively busy for most of this long weekend, I plan to play some video games, yes I do.

I haven't actually done so in about two weeks, as I've been busy with other stuff.

But I have a tiny, and very American, conundrum: I have FOUR unopened games waiting for me.

Borderlands, God of War 3, Bioshock and Red Dead Redemption*.

I think I might power up that last one as it's currently what people are discussing on these podcasts, and that always gives me a little (sad) thrill, to hear people talking about things I'm also talking about.

It's like...being the really shy, quiet person in a conversation.

Something I don't do anymore.

Or I might throw on some Uncharted 2 multiplayer.

I'm this close to level 50; which means absolutely nothing important.

7:00 pm

So, some people have asked**, with all my complaining about what the bands I like aren't doing, what, exactly, I would like them to be doing.

Well I am NOTHING if not responsive to my (not real) readers.

Here goes:

Nine Inch Nails

Reznor has said that How To Destroy Angels is going to be putting out a full length album in early 2011. This EP coming out Tuesday is basically to get people interested. As the Wired article said that one song (The Believers) took them about seven and a half days from start to finish, a twenty tracks album should take them a little less than four months, give or take.

As I've already listed, I'd like him to move onto:

The Deluxe Fragile re-issue, the Wave Goodbye concert video, Year Zero 2 and the next Ghosts.

And I'd like that before 2013, thanks.

They Might Be Giants

Pull back on the kid's stuff for a bit.

I know you're making phat munny, but you're isolating your adult fans.

They've spoken about a new (adult) album coming soon that should harken fans back to their much earlier work.

Excellent, couldn't ask for anything more.

Maybe have the album be longer than 40 minutes?

And some more Album Shows.

I'd love to hear John Henry with a full horn section.

Eels

I would just love to see 'Tomorrow Morning' not follow the theme of 'Hombre Lobo' and 'End Times', or, if it must, that it comes out and, soon after, E announces a new chapter in his musical life, a chapter full of interesting collaborations with fun artists and some great, thick, dense new music.

I'd also like the live show to be more involved.

The fact that he's playing Terminal 5 (where I've seen both NIN and Cake) seems to indicate a larger set up...I hope.

Beck

I want a new album from Beck.

I want it to make Midnite Vultures look like Sea Change.

God damn would that be hot...

I'd also like him to do a Record Club for an album I know and love, maybe something by They Might Be Giants or Eels or Nine Inch Nails or...

Cake

Release that motherfucking album and then the live album you promised in 2007 AND THEN, as penance for being so fucking reticent and unproductive for the past half fucking decade, an album, a GOOD album, every year for three years.

Then you can fuck off and bitch about the environment and politicians all you want...for another two years, then another album.

Until the first new album comes out, no more using your BAND website for NON-BAND RELATED news.

After the first new album and live album are released, you can put up ONE NEWS ITEM A WEEK that does not pertain DIRECTLY to your new music or your touring schedule.

All right.

I declare this BitchFest....closed.

* I wasn't lying Will. Between the time we talked and Wednesday afternoon, two podcasts and every review for it have brought this game from 'not on my radar' to 'my face'.

** Not true.

After the fires, before the flood...

4.1.09
6:54 pm
This summer...is pregnant with music.
And the first baby has already been born.
It is called "LotusFlow3r".
It's Prince's 37th album and 19th double album to date.
It's a Prince album.
It's Prince doing R&B, jazz and funk.
Some tracks have words, some do not.
GOD damn is he prolific.
If ANY of the five bands I love were this prolific, shit, I'd probably get sick of them.
Like most recent Prince albums, there are one or two good songs, but no Hits.
I don't know if he's really going for Hits any more though.
I think he is just making music for the sake of music, which is a really amazing feat and I hope he never stops.
He has a cover of "Crimson & Clover"...well, the first third of it anyway; then he just makes sweet, sweet love to his guitar...which you can see if you look up in the air.
Some pretty, simple songs are scattered amongst the semi-lite-jazz and radio friendly funk along with some straight up Prince shrieking goodness.
But again, nothing so stand out.
Although there is a new lyric (from the genuinely heartwarming "4ever")  to be added to the Book:
"Stop lookin' at me like that unless you gonna bite that"
Is Prince indicating that he KNOWS about the upcoming Zombie Apocalypse?
What role does he play?
Good...or evil?

Then we have (that I'm aware of) five more sprogs to be dropped:

Depeche Mode "Sounds of the Universe" 4/21
God what a ridiculous title.
They've released one single thus far (called 'Wrong' and it's nothing to shake trees about) with the requisite nine drum and bass remixes on it.
Leave it to Depeche Mode to continue releasing CD singles.
I'm not complaining, I loved going around to every store in New York looking in the "Import Single" section for random Beck b-sides or EU eels maxi CDs.
The continual digitization of music has made it easier to get stuff, but less fun.
I just wish I gave more of a shit about Depeche Mode.
I think they may have peaked with "Songs of Faith and Devotion" with the occasional glimmer on "Ultra" and a glint here and there on "Exciter" and "Playing the Angel".

Peaches "I Feel Cream" 5/4
Based on the three tracks up on her myspace, I'm pretty certain that this is going to be a Peaches album.

Tori Amos "Abnormally Attracted to Sin" 5/19
Haven't heard anything of or from this yet.
If "American Doll Posse" is any indication, it's going to recapture some of the amazing stuff she used to do, but also have some of that adult contemporary flavor that you REALLY have to be in the mood for.
I have to say that "American Doll Posse" made me believe that Tori Amos can still make vital sounding music.
Still waiting for that Reznor/Amos piano centered collaboration though...

Marilyn Manson "The High End of Low"5/19
And speaking of misery...
Manson has released one track thus far, 'We're From America', so this might all be moot, a swallow does not a summer make and all that.
Musically, it is rather interesting, a return, somewhat, to the sound of "Antichrist Superstar"', but less gritty and...good; lyrically, however it's made up of his "clever" turns of phrase such as "we don't believe in credibility/because we're fucking incredible" and "we're from America/where we turn literature into litter" ZING! and his "shocking" world view (which he'll sing twice...so you can do a double take...because you're so shocked) such as "we don't kill our babies/we need them to grow up and fight our wars".
Whoa, Marilyn, that's pretty scathing...for the 1960's.
I think Manson should just stop trying to shock people and just make some interesting music like he used to.
Stop trying to shock listeners; after the election of a black President and the proliferation of 2 Girls, 1 Cup you're just wasting your breath, try to make something creepy and compelling like "Antichrist Superstar".
And lose the bad puns.
If I want bad puns, I'll just go here .
DOUBLE ZING!!

eels "Hombre Lobo" 6/2
Why is it always the most anticipated album that comes out last?
I would gladly give up three of the above releases to get this album sooner.
I've been trepidacious ever since I saw that the first eels album in 2 years after their 2-disc 30+ track "Blinking Lights" would only have 12 tracks.
Then I saw the title, album art and track listing and, as odd as this may seem, may spirits lifted.
Last night, E posted a track from the album.
The track is called "Fresh Blood" and it has made me ready for this album, now.
It's very eels, but in an immediately accessible and enjoyable way.
There's always some trepidation when it comes to a new eels album.
It took a while for me to love all of "Electro-Shock Blues" and even longer to love "Daises of the Galaxy" (and I still skip 'Estate Sale').
E has a tendency to drastically switch formats from release to release (as anyone who has seen them live more than once will tell you) and while each release and performance will be distinctly eels, some incarnations are more eels than others.
Dig?
E is just the man.
I think that may be it.
Another added jot of excitement; I, as Spanish as Norway, thought the album meant "wolf man" or "Mr. Wolf", but apparently, it means "werewolf".
Something about E singing "12 song of desire" as a werewolf...it just feels right.
Go check out 'Fresh Blood' and tell me you don't pop a musical boner.

Mickey Avalon's New Album Summer '09
Sort of an afterthought.
I'd say four or five of the tracks on his debut are truly memorable and the new single off this one (entitled 'Fuckin' 'Em All') has a delightfully Mickey Avalon music video to go with it.
It really could go either way and while I can't hope for a new 'My Dick', this guy knows how to party: with Salvia and whores.