5:09 pm
Actually, until I start making more disposable income, I kind of have to take the Subway.
But, at least I can whine about it!!!
For instance:
You know how MTA just spent/is still continuously spending thousands of months and trillions of dollars in order to, somewhat, catch up with the trains in Washington D.C. five years ago?
You know, by utilizing bleeding edge tech to put up some shitty LED displays informing commuters when the next train is arriving?
God damn do they love to jerk themselves off about those fucking things...and then play around in the ejaculate like hungry porn stars...
Anyway, I was watching one of those earlier today (a shitty LED display, not a hungry porn star...), and saw the next train clock jump from three minutes to one minute.
"Okay," I thought, "that's not too crazy, what's sixty seconds among friends?"
But then...the train after that jumped from thirteen minutes...to eight minutes.
My first thought was: wormhole.
Obviously.
Then I figured that there must be a supercollider somewhere under the city of Manhattan (supercolliders do stuff to time, right?)
And then I realized that, despite millions of months and quintillions of dollars (over a hundred per month coming directly from yours truly), those fancy, astonishing-in-1992 train clocks...don't work correctly.
But, please, don't let MTA know.
I could easily see them suspending service on every train line going to and from Manhattan just to make these things work a little less badly.
Maybe only be off by four minutes...
**cue "Great, Big , Beautiful Tomorrow"**
Like I say (out loud) in response to those self-satisfied placards plastered all over the interiors of every fucking train: no, I don't care about when the next train is arriving, just that it is, in fact, arriving, and will continue to do so for more than a week at a time, you cockmeisters.
Oh, and, MTA, if you even think about shutting down stations in order to put in carpeting (AKA Wino Vomit Sponges/Disco Crackhead Yoga Mats), I swear I'm going terrorist and killing the world.
And it will be your fault.
There.
At least now, when I get arrested or flagged or something because of that statement, they'll know why.
And I'll totally get a fair trial, because my peers (of which my jury will consist)...are rad.
In other news, I finished reading Chuck P.'s latest, Tell-All.
I might be done with this guy.
After Haunted, everything has been down hill.
His characters' gimmicks and quirks are getting in the way of the story and everything feels smaller than it used to, less significant.
Rant was also pretty good, but Snuff felt like a slice of a bigger work that, I suppose, Palahniuk was too lazy to write, and Pygmy was just dull.
Nothing has been as cluttered with literary falderal or as effortful to drag my way through than Tell-All though.
Man, was that not enjoyable...
Anyway, the new King comes out next week.
The one about traveling back in time to stop the Kennedy assassination.
Yeah.
That wasn't a joke.
So I guess I'm going to have to read that...
I also have the latest Dresden book on stand by.
I want to read it, lord oh lord do I...but I know I'm going to burn through it in three days, so I'm saving it for...something...
Might dip back into the Hunger Games series as the first one was pretty great.
And then there's Batman: Arkham City.
Mother fuck what a huge, amazing, mindblowing game.
I've completely the main story and I'm only 60% through the whole thing.
Yeah.
Tasty.
This weekend is our Halloween party, although I fear it is going to pale in comparison to years when Phil, Grace, Jeannie, Rich, Kathy and/or Molly were in attendance.
But, no worries, we have a contingency in case things get too slow.
Poison.
See you Saturday!!!!!!
No trains to Queens!!!!!!
7:29 pm
I've just had my very first Take 5 bar.
Quite enjoyable.
No comments:
Post a Comment