Bane is CRAZY.

2.22.11

3:58 pm

Maybe a month ago, I heard that Tom Hardy was cast to play a villain in the next and final (according to Nolan) Batman movie.

I vaguely recalled a dapper British guy from Inception who airily tossed bon mots and fought some guys in a tilty, fucked up hallway and was sure I was mistaken.

I was not.

I did some research as to why this dandy fop would be cast as the massive South American master strategist/psycho steroid addict with a hard on for snapping Batman in half.

Turns out, Mr. Hardy starred in a movie about "Britain's most famous prisoner", Charlie Bronson.

The movie was called Bronson and I watched it last night on streaming Netflix.

I no longer have any doubt about Hardy as Bane (except for his size), but I must say, that movie was awful.

The trailer compared it to A Clockwork Orange and Snatch.

After watching it, I can inform you that that is because is features four minutes of bare knuckle boxing and some guy in and out of prisons and mental institutions...remember? Like that guy from A Clockwork Orange?

It had a few hints of Natural Born Killers, but just a few.

It looked great, the sets and make up were very effective and vibrant, even the darkest, dingiest holes, but there was really no plot.

The whole deal with this guy is that he wanted to be famous.

So, the movie kind of went like this: He beat people up, got beat up by people, hung with Super Hans from Peep Show, said he wanted to be famous, called a lot of people "cunts", got totally naked once or twice, decided he was famous.

The whole movie was like a collection of deleted scenes.

Whatever the case, Hardy did a great job with a big ol' bag of nothing.

And anyway, I'll never doubt Nolan's casting again.

Also cast in the new Batman was Anne Hathaway as Selina Kyle/Catwoman.

When I heard that, I realized I only knew of her from her interactions with Chris.

I don't think I've ever seen her in anything but Brokeback Mountain and, well, let's just say she took backseat to the Joker fucking Donnie Darko, plus I watched it on a plane back from Zurich to New York and, as I hadn't slept more than three hours in three days, well, it's a bit fuzzy.

But, like I just said, I trust Nolan.

Aside from Katie Holms, a problem he solved with the help of sad turtle Maggie Darko, the man is above reproach.


I WILL BREAK YOUR CUNT!!! (Bane from the comics on the left and Hardy from Bronson on the right)

Along with doing the Bane research, I spent a bunch of time with Chris, including a trip to St. Mark's and thereabouts for an evening of eating like a 7-year old.

First, we hit the St. Alps Tea House for some bubble tea, then Pomme Frites (my first time!!!), for some expensive but fucking amazing fries and then to Luna's, the only gluten-free, dairy-free ice cream parlor in New York City (that I'm aware of), where Chris got some mint chocolate chip ice cream and I get a vanilla milkshake made from cashews. Before you gag on your own vomit, it tasted like cake batter and was delicious, so bite me.

Between the Pomme Frites and Luna's we passed a small shop called Obscura and we went in.

Among other things, they had a full human skeleton in a coffin ($6000), a preserved human head (brains included) from the 20's or 30's ($6500) and a huge array of other fucked up shit.

Apparently this place is considered a medical museum and is quite famous.

Chris got a bad vibe off the skeleton so we didn't but it.

We did have an involved conversation with the guy working there who turned out to be from New Mexico.

We then returned home where our bodies reminded us that eating like you're seven and actually being seven are not the same thing.

We finally watched The Proposition which had been mouldering* on our Netflix pile for over a month.

Seemed dark and brutal for the sake of being dark and brutal, but it was beautifully shot.

It gets more impressive when you find out that Nick Cave did it.

Yesterday, I recorded the VO for this commercial I wrote for Ray for Alina Tugend's book "Better By Mistake".

Whoa.

That's a mouthful.

Ray was hired to make a commercial for Alina Tugend's book.

Ray asked some people for ideas.

I gave him an idea.

On Sunday, Ray shot the idea I had.

I'm also doing VO for it.

Okay.

That's better.

Yeesh.

Finally, I have gotten Chris addicted to Plants Vs. Zombies.

Or rather, she has gotten herself addicted to it.

But I'm cool either way.

Did not start Dead Space 2 or restart Fallout 3.

Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

Still carving my way through the West Wing.

It's still Sorkin, so I'm still having a good time.

I wonder if I'll be able to tell when he leaves?

Hm...

Okay.

Done.

* I added the 'u' because, although I am not British, the British spelling of 'moulder' reminds me of Alan Moulder, the producer who is currently mixing Nine Inch Nails' "The Fragile" into 5.1 surround sound.