Fuck You, MTA

1.18.11

3:58 pm

First things first, I'm done with these god damn cutesy signs on the subway that keep gently yet firmly suggesting that New Yorkers stop bitching about the shitty service we've gotten over the past three years.

We pay for a service, and you are not providing the service, there is nothing wink wink laughy joke joke about that.

As for the results? Wow, I now KNOW that my train will be here in three minutes instead of guessing it will be here in three minutes.

That was worth three months a year of getting home late, thanks MTA!

If you must put up signs, tell us why, exactly, the fuck our service is fucked and what, exactly, the fuck these mysterious improvements are.

The only noticeable difference I've seen in years, aside from these thoroughly necessary "train clocks", are the new cars.

THAT is a worthwhile improvement.

The rides are smoother and it no longer sounds like demon rape when you take a train somewhere, good job, way to go.

But that was fucking years ago.

AND YOU'RE RAISING THE FARES AGAIN?!

That...oh Jesus FUCK!

I understand that I am pissing in the ocean with this, but it has just gotten to me.

The poop stars will be aligned in a few days when my train home is fucked (adding and extra 10 to 30 minutes, depending, for the next three weeks) AND I have to get a new MetroCard, at the new rate, for the first time.

And yes, I know it's only an extra $15 or whatever and I probably spend more on Starbucks or shampoo or rice pudding in a week than that, but what am I getting for my $15 a month?

Netflix, for an extra $15 a month, will give me three more discs, but the MTA?

Snarky signs telling me to stop being a whiny cunt?

I'd rather pay $14 extra a month to have some whore spit herpes onto my genitals.

And you know what the best part is?

There is not...one....single...thing I can do about this.

I suppose I could walk from Long Island City to the Upper East Side every day.

That'll show them.

Take that, MTA, you'll not get my $104 a month!

You know what $104 is to the MTA?

The tittle on one 'i' on one of their "Eat Our Shit and Smile, New York!" campaign signs.

That's further sandpaper on my scrotum; it's our money paying for these ads.

WE ARE PAYING THE MTA TO TELL US TO SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

THAT must give a few people down at HQ an irony chub or two, the sadistic anuses.

So, since I'm getting butt fucked without my permission, I've decided to help, in some small way, by adding to their excellent and helpful signs.

Tell me what you think...

Improvements don't just happen, dickface, we have to fuck you over for weeks at a time to add something unimportant that makes things just the tiniest bit better. Think of it as getting anally raped but getting a cookie afterwards. A small cookie. And an ice cube for your torn and bleeding asshole.

Improving, non-stop. Well, one stop. The full stop to the service you pay for every month. That's cool right? Never mind, I'm a just a sign, I can't answer...but I can ruin your morning. And piss in your coffee. Happy Monday! Hope you like transferring four times in a half hour!

Moving on to happier news, over the weekend, Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross won the Critic's Choice and Golden Globe awards for Best Musical Score for The Social Network.

Not really sure how this affects my life at all...bragging rights maybe?

Then again, Randy Neuman has also, at one time or another, won these same awards, so, there goes that...

Finally finished Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood this weekend; not sure if I like the ending, but I am sure I want that third game NOW.

I'd also like a pony.

Finished that Friday night so I had no video games to distract me from editing El Viaje de la Pesadilla all weekend.

I did have the complete Justice League and The Expendables to distract me though.

JL holds up almost as well as Batman and slightly better than Superman.

As for Expendables, I have to say, I thought it would be more over the top.

And I thought that these guys would be more heavily featured in it.

I also thought, based on the title, that more of them would have died...like, I don't know...one.

But, no, all of them made it through.

Like I had mentioned before, they all looked so ravaged by age, seamed. Even the requisite hot chick was over forty.

There were a couple fun moments, like the scene with Arnie, Sly and Bruce.

And Dolph Lungren is always scary, 57 years old or not.

The guy who plays Angel Bautista in Dexter plays a despotic general on some island nation.

Couldn't really take him seriously.

Neither him nor "Stone Cold" Steve Austin.

The movie should have been bigger, more ridiculous, maybe winked at the audience a few times.

The inclusion of "The Boys Are Back In Town" over the closing credits took a lot away from a movie that didn't have much to begin with.

I hate that fucking song.

It's the exact same as having some guy in a hat walk on screen and say, while winking hugely, "Uh oh!!!  Here we go agggaaaaaain!!!!"

And I think they used it over the end of Wild Hogs in he exact same capacity.

Which was, from what I understand, the kind of movie you'd expect to have that song in, dig?

Also went to see True Grit with Chris.

Excellent movie, the Coen brothers did it again.

At one point, after Josh Brolin has been introduced and Matt Damon's character has sustained an injury to his tongue, all three actors are neigh unintelligible, it was delightfully funny.

Great casting, great screenplay, like I said, excellent movie.

The young girl in it is a fantastic actor.

See it.

Now.

After we returned home from said movie, Chris made an amazing meal and then the most delicious non-gluten, non-dairy chocolate cake I have ever eaten.

I'm not being nice here: IT TASTED LIKE REAL CAKE. GOOD, REAL CAKE.

Plus she whipped up homemade coconut cream icing.

In a nutshell: we both had boners.

Then we blazed through the first three episodes of the Walking Dead mini series.

AMC...holy shit...way to go.

They did great adapting the books, but the tone...the tone is fucking perfect.

Normally, in a zombie movie (or show, whatever), you have to deal with certain tropes: the first long distance encounter with a zombie, the first up-close encounter with a zombie, the "they don't die" moment, the "they don't die unless you destroy the brain" moment, the exposition scene, etc.

Each of these necessary evils were done with a quality I haven't seen in a while.

And the makeup is, by far, the best I have ever seen, hands down.

The camera knows it too, lingering where other zombie movies show you quick glimpses so as not to see the edge of the latex or the smear of obviously fake blood.

This is the best zombie media I've experienced since reading World War Z.

And the filmmakers' decision to add some elements not in the books is keeping me on my toes as well.

And, although I've had the ending of this series/season spoiled for me, I am happy to take the ride.

I'm already anticipating the sadness I'll feel when the sixth and final episode ends.

But it will be a satisfying sadness, like eating the last, most delicious lobster on the planet.

Or something.

Going back to Viaje, I'm not really sure how to measure this, but I think I might be about halfway done.

The menus are almost all done and the special stuff is too.

I have a few more segments to edit...but I think that's it.

Then the problem is compressing this to a size that will fit on a DVD and still be watchable.

Really worried about that...

Had a wonderful breakthrough last night when I found the perfect music to match the images and mood of our jaunt up a random hill in Tres Lomas at sunset. I had maybe four songs and none of them were fitting perfectly, almost, but not quite, then I typed 'mountain' into my iTunes and my answer popped right up.

Perfect.

The first tape has been totally imported and mostly edited in and I have maybe fifteen minutes or so of the second tape to be transferred.

Man, I hope this all comes together.

If, for some reason, I can't get this stuff on a disc, I'll just dropbox each section to Phil, Grace, Will and Diana.

I'd much rather it fit on a disc, as I've worked quite a bit on the menus and hidden stuff, but, what will happen will happen.

If I had to say, you might see this thing in February.

Maybe.

Maybe late February.

Maybe.

About to head out and pick up Little Big Planet 2 for Chris and I and Mass Effect 2 for me.

This series, according to people who own Xboxes, is the reason to own an Xbox, and they just made it for the PS3.

So, here we go.

I am promising myself to not open either until I get further with Viaje though.

DISCIPLINE.

I'm out.

7:19 pm

Back from my standard, delicious lunch.

Picked up LBP2, but not Mass Effect 2.

It isn't going anywhere and there's no way I'm going to play both games at once, plus the price is just going to decrease over time, so yes.

Also, this will get me through Viaje sooner.

Time to read some Exiles.