Guido's Fuckrant Page

1.29.09 7:38pm I have had a headache for over a week. It comes and goes, but always, it is there...eating my brain like the Conque...

1.21.09 3:13 pm Couple. Of things. First, got cable installed by a surly and world weary dude this morning. Immediately wonde...

1.20.09 9:20 pm Ah, sweet, succulent resolution. Like pulled pork for the soul. Not really, I'm just passing this whole shit...

1.16.09 11:29am First things first...yesterday on the train, I saw a little old Asian woman eat an entire apple in about 12 seconds....

12.9.08 8:18 pm First: Episode TWO of the Diesel Dance Party (in which I command the dancers) has just been put up on http://www.dies...

...is not very good. In fact, it's quite bad. It's bad for a continuation to Use Your Illusion I and II . It's bad for a...

10.21.08 10:17pm Just wanted to take a moment to let you know that BRITNEY SPEARS' new music video "Womanizer" is HOT. BRI...

Yesterday, I said some things to some people that I would not have normally said. "Have sex with the air." "Wrestle with...

If you'll be so kind as to head over to www.mtv2.com and click on the "Sharts" section, you'll find a listing for somethin...

I must write in haste, for I believe it knows where I am... Oh how I yearn for simpler, less deadly times! Alas and alack! But I digr...

I just pet a priest's wiener dog. Should I go to confession?

9.9.08 8:03pm Just finished Bret Easton Ellis' Less Than Zero . I totally want to move to L.A. And kill myself there. Give me hi...

Today, for the first time since the time Phil and I went to see Will in D.C. and I won* the Big Lebowski Drinking Game, I had five guys in...

Julian Cope Pancake Lizard The S-Word Boiling Seas of Blood Sweating Mr. Xcitement Cunning Stunts

So. I'm watching 'Strangers With Candy' for the first time thanks to Christina Nongirlfriend. My cousin Stephanie worked on th...

Just saw in today's Onion that They Might Be Giants are playing in September and October at a place called Le Poisson Rouge at 158 Blee...

Today. Has. Been. Awesome. Last evening I am informed of an audition this morning at 10:20am (an unheard of time for me to be awake) at...

Specifically, Bob's pancreatic cancer. More specifically, Death by pancreatic cancer. Yes, my week started off with an audition for...

THIS is what the Internet is for. Click. Also, this: Click. But not this....never this... Click. "And the world spreads its le...

Dear Cablevision,     First off, I'd like to say thank you for the myriad opportunities you've extended to me. I love that ev...