12.30.2005

Sweatsockdouchebagmotherfucker

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12.29.05 7:04 PM I just got to announce that someone was parked in a handicapped space and has to move their car. I totally had to restrai...
12.28.2005

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12.28.05 4:24 PM You know those cookies that come in the large, round, blue tin? “Dutch Cookies” I think their proper name is? I am consta...
12.27.2005

Now I ride...

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12.27.05 7:32 PM Three more days. Just three more days and it would have been perfect. Augh. This grown up life isn’t to my liking. I n...
12.15.2005

It was s’posed to be so eeeeeee-zee…

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12.15.05 3:38PM What is it about me that screams “corporate spokesperson”? Is it my long, long hair? Is it my unshaven cheeks? Is it my s...
12.08.2005

Oh, but that embarassing erection at the end--

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12.8.05 3:16 PM Got two things for you today; first, I’m not in a very “accent” mood. This will assuredly be a problem as the day unfurls...
12.02.2005

Pelvic...THRUST!

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12.2.05 4:08 PM Good day. Very good day. My ego was stroked this morning and it felt wonderful . Reflecting on this event afterwards (as ...
11.30.2005

In this new world, in our new world, there will be rocking.

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11.30.05 7:40 PM Getting into the Dave Eggers book A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius . Really digging it so far. Lots of excellent...
11.29.2005

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11.29.05 3:19 PM I feel like my pants: rumpled, worn and with a small yet noticeably stain spreading in the crotch. My original flight wa...
11.28.2005

I have something in my eye...

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There is NO attractive twizz on staff at Bascom Palmer Eye Institute. Where did this myth of nurses being attractive originate? I want my re...
11.26.2005

K Rock xmax the turkey

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I winder if the tukey I had a few nights ago had avian flu... As I sit in my room in Florida (there is mysteriously a computer in my room f...
11.22.2005

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11.22.05 10:18 PM Every pigeon in the city has become an assassin. I no longer chase them, they chase me. Everything I have ever feared h...
11.16.2005

Uh oh...

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I pause in the middle of my fourth piece of apple pie; recalling that too many apples gives one the squitters… Darn. Hahahahahahahaha, thi...

Being naughty...again.

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Just got of the phone with Phil. Yes, THAT Phil. He’s gone native. Whatever that means. He has turned down the construction job which is a g...

Fuck you, I'm going swimming.

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Why is it every time someone is not supposed to be using the Internet at work, they not only use it, but use it to look for porn? Do they ho...
11.01.2005

I Came, I Rocked, I Got Real Paid

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11.1.05 2:10 PM You ever find yourself eating a bagel whose flavor is indeterminate? I am doing that now. I am on the fifth floor of an a...
10.29.2005

Maladroit

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10.28.05 9:20 PM I just realized that Masters of the Universe (the cartoon show) was conceived simply for the merchandising potential. Thi...
10.26.2005

Diversion

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10.26.05 7:26 PM What glorious Chinese food!! The rice was perfectly cooked, nary a hard grain to be found. And the chicken? Juicy and ple...

You fucking disappoint me

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10.26.05 3:09 PM Today is cool and crisp and clear. Perfect day for thinking. And I think everything I do is wasting time until something...

My eyeballs want out...

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10.25.05 10:23 PM My eyes ache from reading comics all night and I have a pounding headache from the reading combined with all the sugar a...
10.22.2005

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Dry cleaners are so soothing. I don't spend a whole lot of time in them, but today I had to pick up my shirt and suit for the wedding to...