Guido's Fuckrant Page

Recently my good friend Phil celebrated his Birthday. As a surprise present I sent down a few of my ninja to hang out with him and entertai...

I am telling you all... My face is getting thin and cracking a little even now.

The druggie bitch has a urinary tract infection. I am now a true believer, someone say Hallelujah.

Anyway, the "This one's for you, Megan" entry was supposed to have a shot of Megan at the bottom, but, surprise surfuckingpris...

I'd like to take a moment to not berate and bitch about the two human slugs that surround me almost constantly at my apartment and sha...

These fucking cunts are using that fucking cutesy talking-to-doggie voice. No fucking jury would convict me...

There is now a Chihuahua in my, already small apartment. Why? Well, one guess...because both cats died from malnutrition? Nope, they'...

It's only 11:14 here and it's already turning out to be a shitty day. If you haven't heard, both Johnny Cash and John Ritter ar...

About two weeks ago, Flouncy McCunt left for some other country. She said she was returning last Thursday. When I got a call from my good ...

Wow! I have just got to tell everyone about this!!! I just got back from a trip to NEW JERSEY!!! There were rides and taffy and funnel ...

Yesterday a fifty-two pound bag of rye berries (the key ingredient for shrooms) was accidentally delivered to my apartment and, since it was...

flounce1 (flouns) n. A strip of decorative, usually gathered or pleated material attached by one edge, as on a garment or curtain. tr.v...

Forget it, it's me, I'm not dead. I'm here. Where is here you might ask? My new apartment on the upper east side. I'm al...

And why am I going to get a towel? Because you just saw my picture and CAME LIKE TEENAGERS AT AN ORGY! And nw that I have a picture up, I ...

Putting my testicles on the heads on midgets is my anti-drug. What's your Anti-Drug?

I want to take a moment to recognize my love for Jenna. I think that she is the only person who checks my web site on a regular basis AND r...

Nothing. Just "Shakespeare is a fake." And a whore. Shakespeare is a fake and a whore.

I have these big, black rats in my head right now. Their feet and snouts are made of splintered glass and they've mistaken the various ...

So it appears at this time I don't like more things/people/places than I do like. If that doesn't change, it's your fault.

From A Buick 8 (I love Stephen King's books, but this one just sucked ass cock), this apocalyptic pall that's fallen over the world ...